I want something better. I want a Singer 1500. When only the best will do.
I love those little thumbnail cartoons in the Vauxhall ad: It has a big nose to better smash unruly boys; contains both a speedometer AND a fuel gauge; the rear window is included, even though they couldn't be bothered to build the middle of the back seat.
But I would totally rock that Daimler, if it didn't have a slushbox. Why, it's practically the practical man's Rolls Royce!
@Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet: What of contrast of expectations. Think of what US luxury car ads were like in the late '50s - prose consisting of breathless flights of ecstatic fancy, glorious full color, elegant women in gowns and fur, grand scenery or mountains of drapes and chandeliers. Now look at this dull, dry Daimler ad - it gives this admittedly nice car all the sex appeal and charisma of an adding machine.
'It efficiently changes gear, up or down, always at the right time, and always more quickly, more smoothly, than one could do it oneself'.
They were saying that even before my parents were born. Valentino Balboni put it well when he said 'You have to become one piece only.' With a manual transmission, you are an integral piece of the machine, stirring coals deep in the heart of the fire, while computer controls have very little need of you being there, and would eliminate you entirely if they could. Silicon transistors do not require and do not respond to any change of force or delicacy, reason or subtlety; they are creatures of absolutes. And while their absolutes and boundaries have been made smaller, they have become far greater in number, their scope more expansive, their control more complete, your input less relevant. You are placed ever further from the nerve center of the machine, replaced by digital senses. The tide has turned: destroyers of machinery gave Luddites their name, but now it is the machines, electrified and calculating, that destroy the human.
@Murilee Martin: I'm staring at a picture I took of UDmans Corvair that's about to be turned into a stencil. I could draw or paint in a suitable background to create a similar style. I'll get right on it.
Andy Wallwhore- I know, everybody's funny, ...now you kinda funny too. was starred
Andy Wallwhore- I know, everybody's funny, ...now you kinda funny too. was unstarred
@Matt2000 - British Leyland 4WD FTW!: i wonder if they mean hens as lady chickens, or just ladies. The former makes more sense, but the latter might suggest that women like it too, or something to that effect.
@Rockford_Brodie:
This is a British car company, so clearly they're referring to some strange kind of traditional Druid witchcraft alchemy unfamiliar to us Americans.... you know, you bring home some hay today, shape a few handfuls of strands of it into an effigy of a chicken, whisper some incantations under the light of a full moon, burn the straw chicken effigy; then mysteriously, the next morning you have a yardful of chickens.
Forget Corvettes. Porsches, and Ferraris. You're not going to win over the really cultured hot babes unless you drive a 1954 Wolseley. Never mind that it's built on a stretched Morris Minor platform and only might manage 75 mph with a strong tailwind. Sex appeal is more important than these trivial concerns, right?
@Armand: All right, in the five minutes since I wrote that comment, I've thought of about a million projects that I could do with those Rootes cars. I don't need them all, of course. I just need that Alpine, so that I could take the wire wheels off it and put them on my Alpine. I also need the Rapier hardtop, which will become a vintage racer and rally car. That's all I need. Also, that Hillman Minx Estate wagon. I'd put the aluminum-headed 1725cc motor from that Alpine in place of the iron-headed 1390cc engine it originally had, instantly doubling the power. Then I could use it to carry parts for my other Rootes Group projects. Also, I'd get that Gerstenslager transport wagon to carry around my whole Sunbeam racing team.
Then I could take the Rapier convertible to LeMons. Wait, are there any Humbers there? A LeMons Super Snipe would be even cooler.
Okay, I need to stop thinking about more Rootes Group projects. I should probably lie down, actually-- I'm getting a little lightheaded.
@Armand: As soon as I read the title of this post, I thought....Armand's "Rootes-Group-sense" must be tingling. Alas, the lack of Super Snipes is disheartening.
@SCROGGS!!: The lack of Super Snipes is indeed disheartening, but it's not really a deal-breaker. Instead of using a Humber for LeMons, I'm going to make the Sunbeam Alpine the only car to win the Index of Efficiency at Le Mans and the Index of Effluency at LeMons.
If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred
If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
The very idea of communists being in charge in Waukesha is pretty hilarious. The Wiscommunists I know would have dropped the whole thing at the word "museum." No, this is some freaking Kohler-backed HOA, mark my words.
Is it wrong that I want the Fiat 500, Gerstenslager Team Transporter, one of the Fageol Vans and the Celica? I mean like, more than anything else on that list.
I guess I'm weird because the Honda Z600 is high on the "weird old cars I'd like to own" list.
Slantsick to Code Enforcement Officer: "What the hell d'ya mean, haul off that junk Hotpoint stove? That's not a scrapmetal eyesore, that's an open-air artistic tribute to the American Housewife of the 1970s, you philistine!"
@Replying as a troll: As if I'd have a Corolla in my yard... I have a '94 Buick Century (currently being used as a shed), that's bad enough. I wouldn't turn down that yellow Celica though, they're cool.
Is it wrong that I have unnatural levels of want towards that '67 Alpine? I don't want to restore it or even paint it...hell, I'm not sure I'd even take the wheels out of the backseat. I just want to want to watch the faces of my co-workers scrunch up in puzzlement as I chug into the parking lot, slowly no doubt, and they try to figure out just what the fuck I'm up to this time.
08/09/09
I love those little thumbnail cartoons in the Vauxhall ad: It has a big nose to better smash unruly boys; contains both a speedometer AND a fuel gauge; the rear window is included, even though they couldn't be bothered to build the middle of the back seat.
But I would totally rock that Daimler, if it didn't have a slushbox. Why, it's practically the practical man's Rolls Royce!
08/09/09
08/08/09
They were saying that even before my parents were born. Valentino Balboni put it well when he said 'You have to become one piece only.' With a manual transmission, you are an integral piece of the machine, stirring coals deep in the heart of the fire, while computer controls have very little need of you being there, and would eliminate you entirely if they could. Silicon transistors do not require and do not respond to any change of force or delicacy, reason or subtlety; they are creatures of absolutes. And while their absolutes and boundaries have been made smaller, they have become far greater in number, their scope more expansive, their control more complete, your input less relevant. You are placed ever further from the nerve center of the machine, replaced by digital senses. The tide has turned: destroyers of machinery gave Luddites their name, but now it is the machines, electrified and calculating, that destroy the human.
08/08/09
08/08/09
08/08/09
08/09/09
08/08/09
Not sure it's technically post-war, but have to have a Bently
08/08/09
08/08/09
@Murilee Martin: There is one with the guy running from a shiny side up Gremlin, but I agree with your sentiment.
08/08/09
08/08/09
08/08/09
08/08/09
08/08/09
This is a British car company, so clearly they're referring to some strange kind of traditional Druid witchcraft alchemy unfamiliar to us Americans.... you know, you bring home some hay today, shape a few handfuls of strands of it into an effigy of a chicken, whisper some incantations under the light of a full moon, burn the straw chicken effigy; then mysteriously, the next morning you have a yardful of chickens.
08/10/09
08/08/09
Forget Corvettes. Porsches, and Ferraris. You're not going to win over the really cultured hot babes unless you drive a 1954 Wolseley. Never mind that it's built on a stretched Morris Minor platform and only might manage 75 mph with a strong tailwind. Sex appeal is more important than these trivial concerns, right?
06/01/09
06/01/09
Then I could take the Rapier convertible to LeMons. Wait, are there any Humbers there? A LeMons Super Snipe would be even cooler.
Okay, I need to stop thinking about more Rootes Group projects. I should probably lie down, actually-- I'm getting a little lightheaded.
06/01/09
06/01/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
I've always craved a Sunbeam--Alpine or Rapier.
Endless supply of both PCH and LeMons Index of Effluency contenders.
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
I guess I'm weird because the Honda Z600 is high on the "weird old cars I'd like to own" list.
05/31/09
Slantsick to Code Enforcement Officer: "What the hell d'ya mean, haul off that junk Hotpoint stove? That's not a scrapmetal eyesore, that's an open-air artistic tribute to the American Housewife of the 1970s, you philistine!"
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
05/31/09
06/01/09