Let's be clear here — they're not entirely truck-centric. A majority of them also prefer their spouse to their truck, though apparently not enough to have sex with, and 64% of them think their truck is a reflection of their personality. We wonder if they'd say the same about their spouses? Full results at PickupTrucks.com]

Interior space, ambiance, amenities, and a certain je ne sais quoi are all necessary when choosing an automotive boudoir. If we're honest, it's often a matter of any port in a storm, but if it's possible to avoid any of these, you should certainly do so.

Car: Toyota Prius

Why it's bad for sex: Let's just get this right out of the way and acknowledge that no one wants to have sex in a Prius. First of all, it's tough to get your swerve on in such an uninspiring object, something that's more consumer good than car. Second, you risk bringing a new life into the world, which will certainly be a waste of precious resources. Third, if you're a Prius owner, the idea of a car being fun is completely alien to you so you have your 20 minutes of lights-off missionary-position relations in the futon like a proper citizen anyway.

Photo: Flickr

Car: Chevrolet Aveo

Why it's bad for sex: Sex is just one of many things you should never attempt with the poor, misbegotten Aveo, including driving it, walking up to it or getting in it. But especially not sex. There's enough room, barely, if you're young, short, and athletic, but men have paid good money for drugs that give them the same hardness as the interior surfaces of this car. The resulting conjugal bruises will get you the wrong kind of reputation .

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Mazda Miata

Why it's bad for sex: While we love this car unreservedly, we are-like 98% of people-not exhibitionists, and to have any sort of workable sex in this car the top would have to be down. Also, much like 100% of people, we don't like our coitus to get interruptus by a power hardtop suddenly coming down on us because a flailing knee or elbow hit the switch.

Photo: Picasa

Car: Scion TC

Why it's bad for sex: While this cheap coupe is, or will be, the first car of a lot of eager young folks in an exploratory phase of their lives, we urge them to bring a blanket and find a wooded area. The TC is not so much a car as a platform for interior accessorizing, and getting into youthful carnal hijinks in this thing means you run a risk of getting something stuck in your illuminated cupholder. Buying a faux-billet LED-lit shift knob is one sort of loss of dignity; having a gloved proctologist hand it back to you in front of the entire ER is another.

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Chevrolet Camaro

Why it's bad for sex: Traditionally, the two of you jump into the back seat of your two-door muscle coupe and proceed to put some sneaker prints on the headliner. However, just sitting in the back of the current Camaro will imprint the top of your head into the current headliner. And the front seats just don't recline enough or give enough leg room for advanced physical-intimacy contingencies. This is probably the only category of the contemporary muscle-car wars the Challenger wins going do- er, away.

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Maybach 62

Why it's bad for sex: Because one's sex life is none of one's chauffer's business. Why, the very idea.

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Mini (any)

Why it's bad for sex: Owners report that repeated heavy jolts can damage the rear shock mounts, resulting in reduced handling performance and a dramatic drop in ride quality, especially in early models. Also, even in a Clubman, there's no damn room in the thing.

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Ariel Atom

Why it's bad for sex: Although a certain type of person might look at the Atom and notice the abundance of tie-down points, the multiple partner-handcuffing options, and the overall masochistic glory of this incredibly capable track car, it is in fact $65,000. For that price, you could afford any number of studded-leather bedsteads with enough left over for chains and whips.

Photo: candidcarcritic.com

Car: Smart ForTwo

Why it's bad for sex: Seriously, AskMen actually recommended this car, albeit in cabrio form. If you're more into achievement than enjoyment this could work, but in that case you'll probably have sex anywhere and everywhere anyway and don't need any sort of list to tell you. I mean, we're into bragging rights as much as the next person, but not bragging for bragging's sake, and sexually speaking the Smart hardly has enough room ForOne.

Photo: Wikipedia

Car: Dodge Caliber

Why it's bad for sex: Because it's just plain bad. The Caliber may, in fact, be the worst all-around car made today, and the idea of having sex in one has the same emotional resonance as having sex in a FEMA trailer or a Goodwill dumpster. Getting past the fact it's uncomfortable and it's not as roomy as it should be for a wagon/crossover/compromise-mobile, the Caliber is just kind of depressing. And if word gets out, you'll always be "the person who had sex with [other loser] in a Dodge Caliber," meaning you probably won't ever have sex again.

Photo: Wikipedia

Since we're fetish n00bs, we turned to Fleshbot editor Lux Alptraum for some insight. While she's no seat belt fetish expert, she does spend all day trolling the Internet for pr0n, so she's probably a better source of knowledge than say, Matt Hardigree, who only uses the internet for cars and Lutheran podcasts.

"It's bondage without having to take on the trappings of bondage," says Lux. "It's like why boys wank to Sears catalogs, because that's what's available. It could be related to a feeling of safety as a child or just be an attraction to restraints.

"Combining the idea of a car as a sexual power symbol with the seat belt as a restraint is a plausible explanation for the attraction."

And that makes a lot of sense. At once empowering women with control of a powerful car, then controlling them with the restraint of a seat belt creates a powerful fantasy. Now if we could just get a shot of Sarah Palin winkin' at us in a seat belt while firing a machine gun we'd be all set. It's still trashy as all hell. But somehow we don't think that'll stop you from walking through the entire gallery.

Image credit: Picasa

Image credit: College Humor

Image credit: College Humor

Image credit: College Humor

Image credit: Picasa

Image credit: AutoJunk.nl

Image credit: Picasa

The whole thing's on YouTube, so there's six parts. We've embedded the first above the jump and here's links to the rest. In case all this piques your interest in a way that you really, really shouldn't tell us about, here's Sex With Cars: A Tutorial.

My Car Is My Lover Part 2

My Car Is My Lover Part 3

My Car Is My Lover Part 4

My Car Is My Lover Part 5

My Car Is My Lover Part 6

Hat tip to G-Ram!

LeRoy was arrested back in October when witnesses observed him, er, making love to a car wash vacuum cleaner in the wee hours of the morning. Caught red-handed by police called to the scene by the horrified witnesses, he admitted to the lewd act and got tossed in the slammer. Yesterday in Saginaw County Circuit Court, the 29-year-old was sentenced to 90 days in jail along with mandatory drug testing after pleading no contest. You can't make this kind of thing up folks. [DetNews]

We've seen both dragons and real people having sex with cars before, but never one car humping another. This video is an in-movie ad for the fictional Liquid Karma-powered Treer Saltair SUV. We think it nicely extends the premise of most car advertising, particularly the Kate Welsh Cadillac ad, to its logical conclusion.

This clip make you wonder if you should sit down and watch the entire 144 minute film? Don't bother, we have. It's awful.

You really have to wonder about the person sitting on the other side of the DMV table when this proposal for a custom plate slide across the desk to them. Hmm. ANASLEX, nothing wrong there, right? Nothing could possibly be misconstrued as incredibly hilarious offensive here. Nope. Maybe the disturbing number of car sex stories lately has gotten to us, but we think Ana might want to reconsider this one. (Thanks Ken and thank you state of Ohio)

The Times goes on to report that "the clear majority of team managers" think that Mosley's refusal to resign is hurting the sport. According to the paper, the Monaco Royal Family have expressed similar concerns. Mosley was ordered by the Royal family of Bahrain not to attend their F1 round, didn't attend the Spanish Grand Prix for fear of embarrassing King Juan Carlos and the Turkish Prime Minister's office approached Bernie Ecclestone to ensure their boss wouldn't encounter the besieged FIA President.

FIA's general assembly will meet on June 3rd for a vote of no confidence in their President. [via The Times]

The accusation was made by Radovan Novak, head of the Czech Automobile Association and one of Mosley's close friends. Speaking during a radio interview he's quoted as saying, "When the FIA, from the proposal of Mosley, fined someone significantly, then it gives you the feeling that it could be like that."

Dennis was quick to issue a response:

"I categorically deny that I have anything to do with the News of the World investigation into Mr. Mosley. Neither does anyone connected with the McLaren Group or the Vodafone McLaren Mercedes team, and neither does any agent or any other party acting on my behalf or anyone connected with the McLaren Group or the team. We are writing to Mr. Novak and are currently considering the appropriate route via which the remarks that have been attributed to him may be withdrawn or corrected."

The orgy characterized by NOTW as having a "Nazi theme" took place on Friday at a $4 million apartment-cum-dungeon near Mosley's home in London's upscale Chelsea neighborhood.

As President of FIA, Mosley is responsible for overseeing international motor sports, including Formula One. He enjoys a close relationship with F1 Supremo Bernie Ecclestone.

Mosley's father Oswald was a notorious fascist and Hitler supporter. Max has been controversially linked to his father's beliefs.

Kicking off the orgy by playing a detainee, Mosley had both his genitals and head inspected for lice, in a way reminiscent to portrayals of incoming concentration camp detainees, before lying to the hookers to purposefully bring about a severe beating. After the session ended, the girls enjoyed a glass of wine. Mosley was offered one as well, but turned it down in favor of a cup of tea. It's not known what ramifications this will have on Mosley's career or the sport he governs. [Via News Of The World]

UPDATE:Mosley got to keep his job despite acknowledging he participated in an encounter with sex workers in a basement apartment in London. On top of that, Mosley also headed to the UK courts to claim characterizations of Nazi overtones by NOTW were completely invalid, and even if they were valid, it was done in the privacy of someone else's home.

UK High Court judge David Eady apparently agreed on both of those counts. In a ruling hailed by the former Archbishop of Canterbury as a 'dangerous precedent' undermining public morality, the News of the World must now pay Mosley $120,000 in damages, plus legal costs of an estimated $1.7 million, for making the claim. Thanks to legal threats from Mosley's attorneys waving about Eady's ruling, we've removed the NOTW video from our own site, or else face similar attacks on our own free speech.

I don't think this ad is entirely accurate. Most of us will agree that anything in a Aston Martin V8 Vantage turns them into a _ILF. [AdRants via Fleshbot (NSFW)]

If you're desperate enough to be in the marketing demo for this sucker, you're better off just writing your number on a piece of paper and taping it to the window. Or better yet, just sell your car and pull a Spitzer (minus the whole getting caught thing). [TFTS]

The NUDAR POI file supports the big-name GPS navigation units, such as Garmin, TomTom and Magellan. You should probably act quickly, because NUDAR is currently in an beta open-registration until February 22. After that it becomes a $30-per-year service, which is completely worth it for those who travel a lot, or those that just love the boobies. [NUDAR (NSFW) via Crunchgear