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Detroit, 8:19 PM
Wed Nov 11
34 posts in the last 24 hours
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05/27/09
05/27/09
As far as the people are concerned, the older guy is a socially-deprived loner who will do about anything for attention (as demonstrated by his repeated midnight frolics) and complete disregard for other people's cars (demonstrated by his ejaculating on the Beeb people's Tahoe and the Trans AM, and how he could barely keep his slong in his pants at the car show. That's not normal at all.
The kid on the other hand, is just re-compensating for his lack of female companionship. As a fellow Missouri native, I'm sure there are certain places where one can acquire "ladies of the night" who will do certain things. He just needs to get laid. You can love your car all you want. I love my car. But in the way I love BBQ and literature, I don't go about jizzing on every pulled pork sandwich and copy of "Richard III!" I know I'm not normal. I love cars, and I read Jalopnik, so I get that. But this is taking it too far. I knew when we first talked about car sex that it was a really funny joke. But in all seriousness, women sex >carsex in every way. Ok, in most ways.
(Car's cant get pregnant, you don't have to have that lovely next day conversation, and the car won't comment about how your phoning it in.)
So, in closing, Carsex: Fun to joke about, funny to laugh at Wert about, but in reality, just a thing for creepy guys who can't get laid to do. There's a difference between car love (That one guy couldn't even ID a Mazda3!) and what this is, car sex.
Wooh, I need to cut back on the editorializing.
05/27/09
I nearly died when the red Mazda3 hatch drove by and he got all hot and bothered.
"Ooh, look at that car. I'd lick it. I'd cum all over it."
Bahahaha! That will be the funniest thing I see in a while. That being said, if this guy ever spread his "seed" on my Mazda I'd go apeshit.
05/27/09
05/27/09
/hangs head in shame for the people he shares a state with... at least I don't live in New Jersey or Florida...
05/26/09
05/26/09
Sorta like 2 Girls 1 Cup.
05/27/09
05/26/09
Hard to tell how much was perverse and how much was standard attention whore acting out.
05/26/09
05/26/09
05/26/09
I only watched about a minute of the first part, but I really, really would like to unwatch that if I could.
05/26/09
05/26/09
What more beautiful conveyance is there to drive
Its athletic lines at rear conjoin
And stir deep feelings within my loins
I frequently go to the garage and stare
And while away the hours, without a care
At the gleaming headlamps, the grill, the hood
And think with lust that I shall, that I should
Have coital congress in front of my adored
And relieve this pressure from my flesh sword
Whether in my garage, or out on a drive
Who knew a car could make me feel so alive
And so I position myself right in place
And anoint her mouth, her eyes, her face
Then to her hatch, a twist of her trunk key
Once more I set forth to spanking the monkey
Both front and rear I have spent my seed
My weapon of choice is no longer in need
My Peugeot is blessed with my fusillade hail
I'll see her again, once I get out of jail
05/26/09
05/27/09
05/27/09
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
PS How could you not have clicked Graverobber's heart?
05/26/09
05/27/09
[jalopnik.com]
05/26/09
05/26/09
05/26/09
05/26/09
Is this your trick to turn us into dragons?
I don't think I'm going to watch this.
I don't think I can bring myself to do it.
Don't watch it- it might be some psychological reprogramming that these people were talking about in another comment thread.
05/26/09
05/26/09
You know when someone says something smells bad, and then asks you to smell it-- I never smell it. I say good for you if it smells bad and you smelled it. Why would I want to smell it?
I will follow your advice.
05/26/09
05/26/09
05/27/09
05/26/09
05/26/09
05/26/09
Provided the Ferrari was on a lift.
05/26/09
05/27/09
05/27/09