<![CDATA[Jalopnik: se7en]]> http://cache.gawker.com/assets/base/img/thumbs140x140/jalopnik.com.png <![CDATA[Jalopnik: se7en]]> http://jalopnik.com/tag/se7en http://jalopnik.com/tag/se7en <![CDATA[ Caterham Now Offering Insurance, Super Lightweight Insurance ]]> Owning a rare, exotic car comes with its own unique set of challenges. This is especially true for cars like the Caterham Seven, which tends to be raced and modified by a high percentage of its owners. In that spirit, Caterham is now offering insurance to its customers. The best part is the new plan covers track-day certified repair and is friendly to the kind of modifications that Seven owners are likely to make. This follows the Caterham CDX and other offerings from the company that shows its commitment to the unique brand of customers they serve in the UK. More info from the company below.

Caterham Insurance Info

We're all based in the UK
Caterham Insurance advisors are based in Northamptonshire, Claims are in Yorkshire.

In the event of a claim
All repair work is carried out by skilled Caterham mechanics.

Windscreen cover
Windscreens replaced by Caterham or yourself get the £75 excess wavered.

Introductory No Claims Bonus
At Caterham Insurance we understand that your Caterham may be a fun car for sunny days and weekends. If this is the case we can offer up to four years introductory No Claims Bonus.

Agreed value
One of the joys of owning a Caterham is their high re-sale value. If your Caterham is over 10 years old we would be delighted to provide agreed value.

Is you Caterham modified?
A fun part of owning a Caterham is modifying it over a number of years, for the road or track. Caterham Insurance recognises all modifications carried out by Caterham, but can also provide cover if you have completed modifications at a later stage.

[Source: Caterham via AutoFiends, WCF] ]]>
Thu, 31 Jul 2008 13:20:00 EDT Matt Hardigree http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=399604&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ IFR Aspid Rears Ugly Head, 2.8-Second 0-To-62 Time, At British Motor Show ]]> The IFR Aspid is capable of some seriously staggering acceleration, jumping from 0 to 62 MPH in just 2.8 seconds. That's what a 400 HP supercharged 2.0-liter inline-four bolted in a car with a curb weight of just 1543 lbs will do. Though, if you don't need that much speed, you can get the engine sans supercharger, which still makes 270 HP. That's still plenty of power, considering the bare chassis weighs just 175 lbs. But don't think that rigidity weight was sacrificed in the name of weight loss. IFR Automotive claims the Aspid is the first car ever to meet FIA safety requirements and EU homologation standards, making the Aspid legal on the street and the track. Despite all these impressive points though, we can't help but wonder why anyone would bother building it.

Let's be honest, this is not a good looking machine. It's as if someone took a Caterham and restyled it as a ridiculous Chrysler concept car. A Caterham is basic, elemental, and raw form following function. The Aspid is complicated, and has too many useless and overstyled bits. But perhaps that's the point here. After all, with luxuries like touch-screen satellite navigation and WiFi internet capability, the Aspid is more likely catering to those wanting the image of a supercar as well as the performance. That's fitting, since the prices range from about $149,000 up to nearly $300,000. We'd rather get a Se7en and spend the extra cash on a lifetime supply of trackdays.
[via AutoBlog, MotorAuthority]

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Wed, 23 Jul 2008 11:20:00 EDT Mark Arnold http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=399108&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Caterham Releases CDX Limited Edition Seven, Could Glass Roof Version Be Next? ]]> It looks as though Caterham is starting to go the Mustang route with special editions of the Seven, though most of these actually improve the performance and don't have strange movie tie-ins (Caterham R500 FTW!). This newest Seven commemorates 15 years of the Caterham Driving Experience (CDX) and includes more than just a paint job. Similar to the Caterhams they use on track days, the new CDX Seven gets push-button engine start, Momo leather steering wheel, a 135 horsepower version of the K-Series mill, limited slip differential and a track-day roll-over bar. All that for around $40,000 when built from the factory. Press release below the jump.

CDX Limited Edition Seven - Let The Driving Experience Never End To commemorate 15 years of the renowned Caterham Driving Experience (CDX) days, Caterham has released a high-spec, limited edition version of the tyre-smoking cars at an attractive price. Caterham's motto of 'Designed for racing, built for living' is more relevant than ever with the CDX Limited Edition. Thrill-seeking drivers are urged to act fast as the first 20 cars will include over £2000 worth of performance extras - including a tuned 1.6-litre power unit - within the £17,495 asking price. A finance option is also available on this model with a monthly payment as low as £199*. Created to mimic the highly focused abilities and looks of the actual Sevens used on CDX days, the latest Seven boasts a 135bhp version of the distinguished K-Series powerplant, a limited-slip differential and track day roll-over bar. All this creates a serious tool for the track that's equally at home on the road. Finished in gloss black with a decal kit reflecting that of the real CDX cars, this limited run car also includes a push button engine start, Momo leather steering wheel, full weather equipment and sticky Avon tyres fitted to 13" Superlight alloy wheels. Power is transmitted to the rear wheels via a 5-speed manual gearbox. Caterham Driving Experience (CDX) days have been enjoyed by thousands of drivers of all ages and abilities. Hosted at venues in the UK and across Europe, the popular days place licensed drivers behind the wheel of a legendary Seven - be it for the Slalom, Drift or Circuit courses. With experience days starting from £99, participants are taught new driving skills to help push the venerable two-seater to its limits or simply to execute some tyre-smoking frolics. The latest Seven is available in component form from just £17,495, or factory built for £20,495, and can be owned for as little as £199 per month.* Caterham is offering a finance scheme of 9.5% APR on the limited run car, requiring a deposit of £4600 followed by 36 monthly payments and then a final balloon payment. For more information visit www.caterham.co.uk or call 01883 333 700 (South) or 01455 841616 (Midlands).
[Source: Caterham] ]]>
Wed, 11 Jun 2008 10:00:00 EDT Matt Hardigree http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=395775&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ ThoRR Electric Se7en Should Have Shocking Performance ]]> Thor is of course the Norse god of thunder, thunder comes from lightning and lightning is made of electricity, thus naming an all-electric se7en ThoRR is appropriate. The chassis we all know and love is largely unmolested, but the powertrain is pure electrons with a Siemens 3-phase electric motor sporting a redline of 10,000 RPM, a peak horsepower of 272, and max torque of 331 lb.ft. Interestingly, there is no transmission to get in the way so this gets even closer to go-kart like driving.

With lithium polymer batteries holding enough juice for 124 miles, it's a little on the chunky side for a se7en, tipping the scales at 1,664 lbs. We're betting with all that torque available at zero RPM it will be a hoot on the track — if you can find a class for it. No word on the acceleration figures yet, and also no explaination as to why it seems to prefer hanging out in remote fields of grass. [Carscoop]

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Mon, 28 Apr 2008 12:15:00 EDT Ben Wojdyla http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=384699&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Jalopnik Presents The Se7en Se7en Se7en Awards ]]> To recap: About 55 Se7ens from USA7s descended on the idyllic hamlet of Deal's Gap to beat the bejesus out of the Dragon. Naturally, Jalopnik was there. You can read all about the exploits in yesterday's Se7en, Se7en, Oh My Se7en! . Today we're going to focus on some of the individual cars that piqued our fancy and hand out some "awards." The word "awards" in quotes because this article is 5 egos past subjective. The deal is that the entire 7-7-7 event was a function of a car club (USA7s). As such, each car is somebody's pride and joy. Moreover, the owners' wanted their spouse or an actual friend to ride shotgun. Not some dirty old blogger. The result was that I didn't get to spend as much time with as many of the cars as I would have liked. Plus, I only had two days. And had to enjoy some beers with Norm and Mike. So, that killed an hour or so right there. But enough with the excuses, let's go!

Best Looking Se7en
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From the moment it pulled into the Tapoco Lodge's parking lot Ed Hudson's 1998 Caterham Superlight R caught my eye and refused to give it back. Painted in classic Jaguar racing green with black carbon fiber bits (nosecone and fenders) this Superlight has a positively menacing stance. Also nice were the gullwing-ish half doors and carbon weave seats. Sadly, my clumsy camera work does it no justice. This Se7en would be perfect for that rare occasion that Mad Max had to attend a black tie function. A truly sinister beaut.

We Jam Econo Davey G Johnson Memorial Obscure Punk Reference Award
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Due to a camera malfunction (I'm an idiot) we don't have any photos of Paul & Terry Brocious's Locost. [Update: Al Navarro to the rescue!] Which is a shame. A Locost is a homebuilt Se7en (as opposed to from a manufacturer). The phenomenon started with the publication of Ron Champion's book, Build Your Own Sports Car for as Little as £250 and Race It!. Paul (son) and Terry (father) had never even heard of a Se7en before Terry, "found plans floating around the internet." The duo built their Locost in 7 months time for around $6,000. The heart of their car is a Yamaha R1 engine. OK, it's not a Hyabusa, but still, the sucker revs to 14,000 rpm in a heart beat and blats out 170 hp. Absolutely perfect for a Se7en.

What truly makes the Brocious's car stand out is its homemade sequential paddle shifter. Just imagine banging through the gears with such a fast motor. It's like a homegrown F1 car, only several million cheaper. Almost as cool, is how they got the Locost to move backwards. To reverse, you pull a lever under the dash which engines a winch motor from an ATV. If it dies, big deal, go buy another winch motor. Another great touch was the front traverse leaf spring. Not only does it help to Americanize the car (and spin Chapman round and round in his grave), but is has to be a Se7en first. Oh, and the seats? From a Pontiac Montana. Locost indeed.

The Reason No One Died Award
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Do you see that turbo? It's the size of a watermelon! And happens to be attached to a JDM SR20 motor. How much power are we talking? "Could be 600 hp," answered Bob Drye, the head of Champion Motor Cars. That's Viper power in car that weighs half as much. There aren't any doors, either. Bob says "could be" because his suicide-solution Se7en just didn't get finished in time. Still, he was kind enough to trailer it down from Virginia for all of us to stare nervously at. And I'm still breathing.

Blaze Of Glory: The Sophisticated Hoon
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When Paul Roupas first dropped the hammer in his Deman USA SR27 I thought I was dead. Not because he's a poor driver (quite the opposite, actually), but because physical matter doesn't move that quickly. It was as if I was no longer bound by Newton's laws. It also didn't help that my head got smashed against the rock hard racing seat. I asked Paul and his business partner Dino Trakas about the engine. The turbocharged SR20 DET savagely dyno'd 320 hp at the wheel. Which means the motor is good for around 375 hp. And the SR27 weighs 1,400 lbs. Which is insane! If I had to guess, 60 mph shows up in about 3 seconds.

Halfway up the Dragon we stopped for photos and Paul asked if I wanted to drive it down. I should have said, "duh" but instead I politely replied, "yes." The experience from the driver's seat was quite different. The SR27 is a piece of precision machinery. There were no squeaks, rattles or detectable weaknesses. True, the stage IV clutch rendered first gear a pipe dream, but the Deman pulled as strongly in 4th as it did in 2nd. Even more impressive was the handling. Obviously, by their very nature, all Se7ens are the stuff of track day dreams. But the SR27 was even more exacting. Credit the wider front track (also an option on many Caterhams) and stiffened everything else. While the passenger seat may very well have been the most frightening place I've ever sat, from behind the wheel, I've never felt more in control.

Paul echoed my sentiments. See, when I got in the SR27 it only had 351 kilometers on the odometer. "I've never ridden in the passenger seat," Paul explained as I played psychotic bootlegger towards the North Carolina border. "How is it?" I asked him while mashing the rocket booster go pedal. "Scary!" he shouted. Massive Jalopnik bonus points for featuring the world's loudest blow off valve. Every throttle lift and upshift resulted in an infinitely pleasing, "Whoooosh!" It also happens to look great. In a word, fantastic. And the SR27 can be yours for $55,000.

Los Jalop Daily Driver
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At 6'6", Doug Beckett is an unlikely Se7en proponent. Until he starts talking and you hear his Northern English brogue. He'll quickly tell you that when he lived in Old Blighty he worked on Jags, TVRs and Rolls-Royces for a living. Then he'll climb into his fiberglass, 1130 lbs. bright orange baby and, well, it all makes sense.

Doug is the President of Raleigh based Autopro Motorsports and his sole product (at the moment) is a 1992 Miata powered Westfield 7. In fact his car is essentially a cannibalized Miata. The engine, transmission, differential drive shaft (sorry Doug, "prop shaft"), axle shafts, front and rear suspension components, brakes, steering bits, wiring, exhaust and even the instruments are all Mazda. While this particular car uses the first generation 1.6-liter, the frame can accommodate later 1.8-liter mills.

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It's cheap, too, with the kit starting at "$18,000 or $19,000" (one of the first things you learn when dealing with Se7en owners, is that numerical precision really isn't a top priority. The second is that you can pick 'em out of a crowd by the exhaust pipe burns on the back of their ankles and the gravel in their left ears) plus the cost of the donor car. This complete turnkey example will set you back a quite reasonable $28,950. Parts can of course be found anywhere. It's quick to build, too. Doug claims the build took him about 90 hours total and the only parts that didn't snap together were the steering and drive shafts, which had to be cut down at a local welding shop. The car's quality was exceptional, and most in attendance agreed that Doug's Westfield had that certain something that set it apart.

Other Se7ens were undeniably faster (see above) and perhaps even handled better. After a trip up and down the Dragon however, I knew this was the car I would take home. The APM Westy offered the perfect combination of raw sportiness and leisurely cruising that you can only find in a Se7en. Plus of course, like most of the others, it looks like the cat's pajamas. Doug plans on building and selling a dozen cars per year along with about 25 kits. I hope he sells a million.

Hoon Of The Dragon
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It can only be Michael Dougherty, as he chased down and caught a Porsche GT3. And he had the gaul to call me crazy...

Honorary Jalopnik Fantasy Garage Inductee
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Meet the Rotus. What started out a stupid, racist joke has become one of the most mind-blowing vehicles I've ever had the privilege of driving. Most rumors hold that the name Rotus is due to the fact that these cars came with rotary engines. Not true. Custer Toyota in Fredrick, Maryland thought it would be a funny name for their Japanese-parts Se7ens that used AGE Toyota Twincam engines. Get it? The Japanese can't say their Rs. While it is true that one or two wankels got tossed in under the bonnet, what sets Mazda Ebrahimi's Rotus apart is that he managed to wedge in a 440 hp LS1 small block. Let's recap before we move on: An Iranian-American named Mazda owns a Japanese-American British-themed Se7en that features a Chevy 350. If that's not Fantasy Garage material, nothing is.

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If the Deman SR27 defies Newtonian physics, the Rotus messes with Einstein. It bends time and space. Weighing 1700 lbs and sending 380 horses to the wheel, Mazda freely admits that his Rotus has a hard time laying all that power down. "Other Se7ens might have me from 0-60 mph," he explained. "But I have them from 60-150 mph." And everything else on planet earth, too. All star Commenter Danio3834 is always quick to point out the difference between Japanese and American horsepower. As much as I hate to agree with him, he's right. And here's the difference.

Photographer Brian's Hair After A Run In The Rotus
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In the SR27, being belted into the passenger seat is horrifying. Yet, once you get behind the wheel, all that minimally-lagged power is quite manageable. Thrilling, sure, but you can work with it. The Rotus is always horrifying. The brand new 434 hp LS3 powered Corvette does the 0-60 romp in 4.4 seconds and weighs 1,500 lbs more! This monster has to be hitting sub-3. But again, exact numbers don't matter as the Rotus hits 80 mph faster than you can start urinating. Did I mention the brakes? Again, Corvettes stop exceptionally well for 3,200 lbs. vehicles. Mazda fitted Corvette brakes to the Rotus. I can barely describe the stopping power. Long story short, it hurts. And the very best part? It runs an unregistered copy of Windows XP. Still handles like a Se7en, too.

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There you have it. The 2007 Jalopnik Se7en Se7en Se7en Awards. I know I missed a lot of great cars and a lot of great people. Which is why USA7s need to invite us back next year.


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Thu, 12 Jul 2007 12:00:00 EDT Jonny Lieberman http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=277573&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ Se7en, Se7en, Oh My Se7en! ]]> 1957: Colin Chapman draws the design for his boyhood dream car in one week's time. This becomes the Lotus 7. 1973: Chapman sells all remaining Series IV 7s to Caterham. Lotus is out of the 7 business for good. 1974: Caterham stops selling Series IV 7s. However, due to enthusiast interest, they began producing the older but more favored Series III car. In the subsequent years, production of 7s (now often referred to as "Se7ens") blossoms around the world, with a variant of Chapman's dream machine being built in 17 countries including Estonia and India. 1985: Austrian rock singer Falco records, Rock Me Amadeus. 2007: The USA7s, whose Acting President just happens to be Jalopnik's own Al Navarro, stages a 50th birthday Se7en Se7en Se7en bash at, up, down and all around the legendary Tail of the Dragon. Oh, and they invited us to come along for the ride.

Turns out Se7en owners are some of the friendliest out-and-out hoons you'll ever be lucky enough to meet. Perhaps more so than with any other car make, a Se7en reflects its owner's off-camber personality (sorry MDorks). Gather 60 or so casual Porsche owners, you'd likely hear them tell of semi-legal stock trades, golf tips and hair plugs. Ferrari owners? Stories about getting Porsche owners' sentences reduced. But after two days with Se7en owners in the eye-popping, jaw-dropping, chart-topping, heart-stopping beauty of the Great Smoky Mountains, I now know the following: the proper protocol for frogging (walk down the center of the stream, shine light in frog's eyes, throw stunned frog into sack, repeat) and how to catch carp with my bare hands while kayaking. I even met an honest-to-goodness electrical engineer from Lucas Electronics. (Yep, he knew all the jokes.) Also, of course, I learned that Colin Chapman is God. But these men (and a lady or two) are not just quirky. They are very, very serious about driving. Case in point, my new buddy/hero Michael Dougherty chased down a procession of Porches and eventually caught the leader who was driving a GT3. Michael's Caterham Se7en makes around 170 horsepower.

Everyone Loves A Non-Parade
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Back on point, the gathered Se7ens seemed endless in their variety. They came equipped with a wide range of engines from vehicles as diverse as a Miata, a Yamaha R1, a Datsun 210, a Vauxhall of some description and a Camaro. Such diverse hardware meant these seemingly identical cars all possess unique personalities dictated by nothing but their owners' preferences and budgets. Yet, such wildly divergent cars are all essentially identical. One Lotus Series I in attendance wielded a 75-hp brickbat, while Bob Drye, who once stuffed a 427 into a Manta Mirage, showed up with a turbocharged, SE20-engined Se7en that kicks out "about 600 horsepower." This paradox is one of the many things that make Se7ens such captivating cars. Another reason is Chapman himself.

"The Seven was the car I dreamed about as a schoolboy. When I got the chance to build it, it was the most basic, lightest, high performance little car we could come up with... a student's car if you will – a four-wheeled motorbike."
Though, as I learned whilst being harnessed five-pointedly into various cars, then attacking one of the most challenging stretches of road in the world, Se7ens are much better than motorbikes.

A Beautiful Birkin
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The first car I drove over the Dragon was a Lotus Elise. Describing the experience as fantastic means I am a very lazy writer. It was utterly phenomenal. The petite mid-engined Brit danced across the Dragon's 318 corners. The tires seemed to be made not of rubber but pine tar. Even my "kick and stab" driving technique (read: poor) didn't phase it, as I managed to hit 80 mph and live.

Anyone Got $28,950 They Can Lend Me?
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I then climbed out of the Elise and into an Autopro Motorsports Westfield Miata-powered Se7en and raced right back up the Dragon. Time for a confession. After an entire morning of being driven up and back down the Dragon as a Se7en passenger, I was two scabs past itching to drive one myself. Doug Beckett, the President of Autopro Motorsports, agreed to let me drive his very fine fiberglass example. As I'm pulling out of the parking lot Doug asks, "You've driven one of these before, eh?" I'm so sorry Doug! The car made me do it (or was it the black lab?). Anyhow, yes friends, the very first time I ever piloted a Se7en was on the Tail of the Dragon.

Holy mother of God was it incredible! Honestly, my first thought was, "The Elise is a fat pig! What a sloppy, silly car." If the Lotus felt like it had stickum on the tires, then the Westfield was riding on invisible train tracks. The whole affair was effortless. Even with a turn every 180 feet or so, there was virtually no need to hit the brakes. The superb suspension dispatched the majority of bends as if they didn't wind in the first place. If speed did need to be shed, the vehicle's low weight (about 1130 lbs. in this case) meant that I simply needed to heel-und-toe it down a notch. The engine took care of the rest, challenge bested. Put it this way: for the final three miles of our run Doug and I were behind a Yamaha R1 ridden by the type of guy that puts his knee to the ground every time he turns. In other words, he was caning it. Meanwhile, Doug and I were four car lengths back, having a conversation and loafing along in third gear. Yes, for reals.

Al & Mazda Atop The Tail Of The Dragon
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Surprisingly, my favorite part of Se7en Se7en Se7en did not occur behind the wheel. I had (finally!) found my hotel at 2:00 am Thursday night. And I dragged my sorry ass out of bed at 5:30 am to go on an early morning Dragon run. At approximately 6:30 am I met up with Al (Caterham Superlight R), Mazda Ebrahimi (LS1-powered Rotus), Norm Beaver (Caterham Se7en) and Michael Dougherty (Caterham 7) at Deal's Gap (fittingly, population: seven). Al had warned me his Superlight would be a little tight. Which is like saying Manute Bol is a little tall. I believe we finally used a shoehorn to get me seated.

Why We're Moving To Tennessee
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And then our little caravan set off. There wasn't another soul on the road, just the four Se7ens cutting through the gorgeous morning fog as we wended our way to the top. For years I have been saying that California/Oregon coast right where the two states meet is the most beautiful place in America. Now I'm not so sure. There's a turn off at the top of the Dragon that over looks a bend in the river capped off by one of the Tennessee Valley's innumerable damns. Should it turn out that heaven exists, there's no way in hell it's any prettier. The sun even decided to burn through the clouds. All your picture perfect postcards are belong to the Dragon. The way back down was even more enjoyable, as the road had dried a bit and I rode in Mr. Dougherty's 100-times more comfortable Caterham. Anyway, as Al said, "Who knew 30 mph could be so fun?"

Population Se7en
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Also notable was the "non-parade" (you have to get a permit to have a parade) where at 9:00 am Saturday morning around 40 Se7ens set off to traverse the Dragon. Even the most jaded Dragon watchers had to be impressed with the show of Se7en force. They even held an autocross on Sunday (which I sadly had to miss). Obviously, it was a tremendously planned and even better executed event that I'll keep with me till the end of my days. I mean, who else on earth can say that the first three cars they drove over the Tail of the Dragon were an Elise, a Se7en and a Hyundai Sonata (don't ask)? I even did the deed in the back of an F150, which legally I shouldn't talk about. Again, a big congratulations is in order to USA7s and Al Navarro for pulling off such a daring plan. As far as I know, only one speeding ticket was issued.

Tomorrow: Part II: The 2007 Jalopnik Se7en Se7en Seven Awards

Related:
I Am The Gert: Riding Shotgun In A Se7en Over Decker Canyon; All Your Kit Cars Are Belong to Carlisle;
Westfield to Build Hybrid Se7en Kit
[Internal]

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Wed, 11 Jul 2007 12:00:00 EDT Jonny Lieberman http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=277056&view=rss&microfeed=true
<![CDATA[ I Am The Gert: Riding Shotgun In A Se7en Over Decker Canyon ]]>

For part 47 of "Why My Job Is Better than Your Job," I direct your attention to how I spent my Saturday. Turns out that Jalopnik blabbermouth commenter and all around righteous dude Al Navarro is president of USA7s.com, a new club dedicated to all cars inspired by the legendary Lotus 7. He sent the Postfather a query wondering if any of us So-Cal Jalopnikos would be interested in riding a Se7en around Decker Canyon. I was screaming "YES!" at the top of my lungs. At 6:30 am. On a Tuesday. Alone in my room. I was all set to get whipped about the mountains in a Caterham by a man named Doug when freak weather caused the "Malibu Blizzard." Stupid global warming. My fantastic hoonage ride was delayed. More for those who dare to jump.

Enter Gert Burkhardt, a German electrical engineer who resides in Pasadena along with his gorgeous yellow and hand-polished aluminum South African built Birkin S3. He agreed to rattle my brain about my skull up and down some of Southern California's wildest roads. Gert sent me one final email before we set off:

Now...maybe I should mention something (because I had an embarrassing moment before). Since the car is something like a glove there is a certain size limitation. It fits me perfectly with my 195 pounds but if somebody wants to ride in it with a jeans size beyond 40 it is getting claustrophobic or just not going to work. I hope that is not a problem...

At a strapping, husky and yes — big-boned — 225lbs. I was confident that I would fit just fine. If you've never sat in a Se7en, let me assure it is nothing like a glove, as gloves tend to be soft and comfortable. No, being five-point swaddled in a Se7en is akin to being stuffed into a child's coffin. Only hotter. I spent the entire ride with my left hand holding my right arm so as to give Gert enough room to row the gears. Yeah, it's that tight.

The Se7en's acceleration is outright staggering. First of all, you are seated so low that if you wanted to, you could place your palm flat on the pavement. Second, the engine sounds as if the world's angriest, unmuffled lawnmower wants you dead. Gert claims that the 2.0L Ford Zetec engine cranks out, "170, maybe 180 horsepower." As the Birkin only weighs 1,400lbs, 60mph shows up in less than 5 seconds. Saying it feels faster is like explaining sex to a virgin. You just have to experience the thrill to understand.

We headed up Malibu Canyon and hung a right on Mulholland. Within a quarter of a mile it became apparent the chassis was ideally sorted, tightly hanging on until the very last moment and then finally breaking loose with a bit of oversteer. Gert explained that the chassis could be tuned for more oversteer but that he liked his neutral.

A dozen-dozen twists later we were blasting by the Rock Store where Schwarzenegger and Leno may or may not have been enjoying brunch. We really should have stopped, as Gert's shiny Se7en was seven-times cooler than all the hogs parked out front put together. Instead, Gert doubled-timed it up the hill to where Mulholland crosses Kanan and shifts into a much needed 55mph zone. Here Gert really opened her up and I found out what a fantastic touring car a Se7en can be. And then we got to Decker.

For those who don't know, Decker Canyon is one of the very greatest roads in all the world. It is the southern terminus of California Route 23 and connects Thousand Oaks to Malibu some ten miles later. This is the road where I nearly made Davey barf in the RS4. Here's what Wikipedia has to say;

This portion provides numerous beautiful vistas of the Santa Monica Mountains and the Pacific Ocean during daytime, but extreme caution is advisable, especially as the road nears PCH. It is a notoriously dangerous road, and the rusted chassis of cars that have gone over the side can still be seen. Bassist Philip Taylor Kramer of the rock band Iron Butterfly allegedly committed suicide by driving his van over the side along this route.

And when his crushed van was found three-days later, In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida was still playing on the eight-track. It's best to think of Decker Canyon as the N rburgring without the straightaways and with the added challenge of oncoming traffic. The Se7en ate it up. At first Gert was telling me about other roads he likes. By the time we got to Malibu, he was telling me what a fantastic hill climb Decker Canyon would make.

Now comes the Jalopnik part of the story. As the Swedish Mafia would have it, Dietrich Fat Stefan cleaved his Enzo in two about 100-yards up from where Decker Canyon dead ends into Pacific Coast Highway. This location also happens to be half-a-mile from the AC Schnitzer Memorial Nose Job Roadside Attraction. There we were, and... Gert stuffed it. Trying to perform a flashy, power-slider 180, my German pilot failed to notice a small, pointless curb. The front wheel, however, sure noticed. Long-story short, the fender was smashed against the tire. Yes friends, PCH had claimed another exotic. Or had it? "No problem," said Gert. "I always travel with tools."

And so, for the next half hour Gert and I wrenched, jacked and quite literally kicked the Birkin back into shape. I had a tiny crush on the South African kit-car before the crash. Afterwards, I was formulating a mix-tape to properly express my newfound obsession. I once helped rebuild an International Scout with little more than a brass hammer and a Sawzall. This was better. Seriously, we kicked it and made it home. It was like Han and Chewbacca beating the Millennium Falcon back into shape. Amazing. And now, dammit, I want a Se7en.

Gert's claiming that a decent used Se7en can be had for between $25,000 and $28,000, with new ones topping $40,000. If I abandon all hopes of owning a house within 100 miles of Los Angeles, I could swing a Se7en. Even if all I ever did was a mad, monthly power-blast over the Santa Monica Mountains. However, as I am about as mechanically inclined as, well, Gert's foot, mine would do very little but sit and look pretty. Until the tires went flat. Still, what a fantastic machine — yet another car for my personal spank bank fantasy garage. Sigh... [Thanks to Gert for the sweet ride and Al for the hookup]

Related:
Westfield to Build Hybrid Se7en Kit [Internal]

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Mon, 12 Feb 2007 12:00:00 EST Jonny Lieberman http://jalopnik.com/index.php?op=postcommentfeed&postId=234223&view=rss&microfeed=true