When Indianapolis 500 pole-sitter Scott Dixon and retired three-time Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti got robbed at a Taco Bell, everyone’s first question was “why are they at Taco Bell?” Well, it wasn’t their first choice, either.
As predicted, IndyCar broke its track record around Watkins Glen yet again today, with Scott Dixon’s pole-sitting time of 1:22.5259 taking the new record. Dixon’s lap was good for a blistering 147.008 average speed around the best little road course in New York. Holy crap, that’s nuts.
Holy crap, this weekend’s IndyCar race is going to be fast. IndyCar is back at a track they never should have left in the first place—Watkins Glen—and that track has a nice, fresh repave that’s apparently good for multiple seconds under IndyCar’s previous track record there from 2009.
After the rear of Ed Carpenter’s car touched the front corner of Scott Dixon’s IndyCar at Texas Motor Speedway, Dixon spun out of control and into the wall. Dixon, of course, let Carpenter know he was just fine (but mad) in everyone’s favorite way: with two middle fingers up.
For the second year in a row, the Grand Prix of Long Beach weekend left a driver so angry over a race result that they refused to spray champagne on the podium. This year, it was Scott Dixon, who got royally screwed by IndyCar’s decision not to impose a real penalty for a shortcut made by race winner Simon Pagenaud.
Four four four four four: I’m starting to get the idea that Ford likes the number four. Four-d is taking four cars to Le Mans, and as such, has added four drivers to their already insane lineup: IndyCar’s Scott Dixon and Sébastien Bourdais, 2014 Le Mans winner Harry Tincknell, and Mustang racer Billy Johnson.
Scott Dixon started the day third in the 2015 IndyCar standings. He ended the day as not only the race winner at Sonoma, but also as the season champion.
Let’s face it—an IndyCar that brings TP for my bunghole is the answer to all of my hopes and dreams. Now, IndyCar sponsor Cottonelle thinks their toilet paper is so good at wiping poo from your nether regions that they’ve asked driver Scott Dixon to ask if you’re going commando.
[Scott Dixon celebrates with his family after scoring pole for the Indianapolis 500 in his number 9 Chip Ganassi Chevrolet, with a four-lap average speed of 226.760 mph. Full qualifying results are over here. Photo credit: AP Images]
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