Though she may not be the next Miss Universe, Ms. Stoddart is certainly able to pull of something less than a full track suit (as these shots from her website demonstrate). She's also a capable young driver, having worked her way up through karting, Formula Renault, Formula 3 and now DTM. For the 2007 series she raced a 2005-spec Mercedes C-Class Coupe, finishing in all but two races. Oh, and according to Wikipedia she's single and only four months our elder. [SusieStoddart.com, Wikipedia]

They won't be placing ads in random video games either, the three targeted games are Need for Speed: Carbon, Project Gotham Racing and Pro Evolution Soccer 2008. The two racing games make perfect sense, but soccer? I guess one stereotype does associate Scots with being drunk soccer hooligans that may or may not have tendencies to drive.

Let's just hope the in-game advertising doesn't come by way of vanity license plates — SBRDRVR. Getting drunk with your friends and playing Burnout is still acceptable, though, just hands off the keys. [Kotaku]

From the file marked "Excercises in Pious Self-Righteousness From People With Nothing Better to Do" comes this little gem: a group of environmentally-concerned Scots are setting out November 25th in Edinburgh to place tickets upon the windshields of sport utes, reading in part, "false advertising led you to believe you needed a three-ton off roader to: get to the gym/take your kids to school/commute to a business park/trek to Homebase on a Bank Holiday." While this may be very true, and we've castigated for people buying body-on-frame utes who don't really need them on this very site, it's still just really annoying. Also, how much litter will this create? Lots, we'd say. – Davey G. Johnson

Group Ploughing lone furrough against the Chelsea Tractors [Scotsman, UK]

Related:
Hackers Notebook: The SUV Rampage Makes No Sense [Internal]

Look aute! Tune in to watch Team Gimps as they handle hoons, wankers, errant girlfriends, speedy vans and ankle biters at Knockhill Racing Circuit. All other track-day videos are fookin' crap! [Thanks to Ed for the tip.]

Related:
More Hoonage [internal]

You know, until just now, we'd never realized just how much the vocal melody from the Big Boys' brilliant melancholy stalker anthem "Sound on Sound" resembles that of the theme from Midnight Cowboy, but we were totally snapped to attention by this, the most awesome headline of the day: "Midnight Cowboys Pick up the Easy Targets." Sadly, it's about unlicensed taxis in Glasgow. But you know, you can make up your own salaciousness and toss the salad yourself.

Midnight Cowboys Pick up the Easy Targets [Daily Record, UK]

Related:
Re-Imagining the Taxi [Internal]

Chief Constable of Tayside Police John Vine, who's also the lead officer on road policing for the Association of Chief Police Officers Scotland (could he have more words in his respective titles?) thinks Jeremy Clarkson should be promoting road safety on Top Gear rather than committing acts of epic hoonage. The Beeb's response?

"Top Gear has very stringent safety guidelines with regard to the speed with which we test drive any vehicle - whether it be on our test track or public roads. We observe these scrupulously, including adhering to speed limits and none of our presenters advocate or encourage dangerous driving."

Because driving a pickup through a shed is like, responsible y'know?

Top Gear Clarkson encouraging drivers to break the law, says police chief [Scotsman, UK]

Related:
Between the Lines: Jeremy Clarkson on the Bugatti Veyron [Internal]

A trainee police officer in Fife, Scotland's car had some sort of probalo with his 'lectric-type system (made by Lucas, perhaps?) that caused his old beater to go up in flames taking 11 other students' cars with it and damaging three others. In the laugh-a-minute, madcap world of Scottish po-po training, some of the other cadets have reportedly taken to calling the poor schlub "Duracell." Waiting...Waiting... No guffaws? What's wrong with you people?

Police Combustible [The Sunday Mirror, UK]

Related:
First We'll Tow Your Car, Then We'll Torch It [Internal]

Family planning and safe sex advocates in Scotland are once again butting heads with the Catholic Church. "So what's new?" you may ask, gentle reader. What's new, dearly beloved perusers of the Jalop, is that a condom manufacturer is working with agencies in Edinburgh and Glasgow to provide cab drivers with condoms to distribute to couples on their way home from an evening out. The predictable hemming and hawing about the encouragement of promiscuity vs. the need to prevent the transmission of STDs has ensued, blah, blah, blah, Bob Loblaw, etc. [Thanks to CJ for the (reservoir) tip.]

Condoms plan for taxi passengers [BBC]

Related:
Re-Imagining the Taxi [Internal]

Officials in Scotland have vowed to crack down on rampant acts of hoondom by impounding any vehicle "causing fear or alarm in the community." That's a rather broad brush to paint with, especially considering that any number of Rovers could cause plenty of fear and alarm without moving an inch. The first shot comes in the form of a warning issued to a 19-year-old from Haddington, East Lothian, who faces having his car seized after local residents complained that he was repeatedly laying on the horn while cruising the town's main drag. God, if that's a Scottish hoon, we say confiscate all their damn vehicles!

Boy racers face having their cars taken away [Scotsman.com]

Related:
Hoooooon, Are You? Hoon-Hoon! Hoon-Hoon! [Internal]

Researchers in Scotland are creating what's believed to be the first sustainable hydrogen economy in the world in the Shetland Islands. By installing wind turbines on the often-stormy Isle of Unst, they'll be able to use the electrical energy created to crack water into its base hydrogen and water components, which will then be sold to island resisdents for around 15p per gallon. Given that hydrogen-powered cars have proven their ability to go pretty far on a gallon of fuel, that's a massive decrease in fuel costs, which will be critical to convince people to switch to the new technology.

Spare wind turbine power to fuel hydrogen cars [Sunday Times, UK]

Related:
Morgan Gets Into Hydrogen