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offbeat news
racing news
Great Scot! Susie Stoddart Is Scotland's Favorite Racing Export
Recently, racing has been an easier path for women attempting to make a name for themselves professionally than, say, football. With the exception of rallying, this access has come with an expectation that your sexuality will be part of your outward racing persona, something that Richard Petty never had to endure. If you don't believe us, just look at Danica Patrick. The double-standard probably works more to the advantage of a female driver as they have access to a pool of advertising dollars that their male counterparts can't get at, as well as built-in media attention. Of course, this also means that less attractive female drivers are at a serious disadvantage. For Scotland's Susie Stoddart, who currently races in DTM, this isn't much of a problem.More »
video games
Scotland Tackles Drunk Driving with In-Game Advertising
Scotland officials are taking a different route to tackle the drunk-driving Scots. Rather than more checkpoints, better public transportation or other options, they will be dumping nearly $20,000 into video game advertising. More »
news
We Had it Right! Scots to Consider American-Style School Buses
In what is clearly a great moral victory for America in a time when victories are rare, akin perhaps to Kurt Russell's defeat of the soviet hockey team in that movie, Scotland has decided to invest in a technology that the U.S. of A. has been a leader in for decades: the big yellow school bus. Based on a study that showed 40% of primary school children and 30% of secondary students get to school by car, local officials see it as a move that could relieve congestion. Said a local MP "These iconic vehicles have been providing safe means of carrying children to and from school for generations in North America." America! America! America! Take that Europe, with your efficient public transportation system and higher densities that have limited the necessity for school bussing. [Scottsman.com]
news
Environmental Scots to Ticket SUVs
From the file marked "Excercises in Pious Self-Righteousness From People With Nothing Better to Do" comes this little gem: a group of environmentally-concerned Scots are setting out November 25th in Edinburgh to place tickets upon the windshields of sport utes, reading in part, "false advertising led you to believe you needed a three-ton off roader to: get to the gym/take your kids to school/commute to a business park/trek to Homebase on a Bank Holiday." While this may be very true, and we've castigated for people buying body-on-frame utes who don't really need them on this very site, it's still just really annoying. Also, how much litter will this create? Lots, we'd say. More »
clips
Hoon of the Day: Flying Scotsmen
Look aute! Tune in to watch Team Gimps as they handle hoons, wankers, errant girlfriends, speedy vans and ankle biters at Knockhill Racing Circuit. All other track-day videos are fookin' crap! [Thanks to Ed for the tip.] More »
news
Midnight Cowboy! In Scotland!
You know, until just now, we'd never realized just how much the vocal melody from the Big Boys' brilliant melancholy stalker anthem "Sound on Sound" resembles that of the theme from Midnight Cowboy, but we were totally snapped to attention by this, the most awesome headline of the day: "Midnight Cowboys Pick up the Easy Targets." Sadly, it's about unlicensed taxis in Glasgow. But you know, you can make up your own salaciousness and toss the salad yourself. More »
news
Clarkson Taken to Task by Scottish Po-Po
Chief Constable of Tayside Police John Vine, who's also the lead officer on road policing for the Association of Chief Police Officers Scotland (could he have more words in his respective titles?) thinks Jeremy Clarkson should be promoting road safety on Top Gear rather than committing acts of epic hoonage. The Beeb's response? More »
news: weird
Police Academy 16: The 'Sploding Car
A trainee police officer in Fife, Scotland's car had some sort of probalo with his 'lectric-type system (made by Lucas, perhaps?) that caused his old beater to go up in flames taking 11 other students' cars with it and damaging three others. In the laugh-a-minute, madcap world of Scottish po-po training, some of the other cadets have reportedly taken to calling the poor schlub "Duracell." Waiting...Waiting... No guffaws? What's wrong with you people? More »
news
Scottish Cabbies: Safe Sex Isn't Crap!
Family planning and safe sex advocates in Scotland are once again butting heads with the Catholic Church. "So what's new?" you may ask, gentle reader. What's new, dearly beloved perusers of the Jalop, is that a condom manufacturer is working with agencies in Edinburgh and Glasgow to provide cab drivers with condoms to distribute to couples on their way home from an evening out. The predictable hemming and hawing about the encouragement of promiscuity vs. the need to prevent the transmission of STDs has ensued, blah, blah, blah, Bob Loblaw, etc. [Thanks to CJ for the (reservoir) tip.] More »
news
Scots Authorities: 'Scottish Hoons are Crap!'
Officials in Scotland have vowed to crack down on rampant acts of hoondom by impounding any vehicle "causing fear or alarm in the community." That's a rather broad brush to paint with, especially considering that any number of Rovers could cause plenty of fear and alarm without moving an inch. The first shot comes in the form of a warning issued to a 19-year-old from Haddington, East Lothian, who faces having his car seized after local residents complained that he was repeatedly laying on the horn while cruising the town's main drag. God, if that's a Scottish hoon, we say confiscate all their damn vehicles! More »
alternative energy
