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BMW X6 M: First Drive
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MushyHeirloom
07/08/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
Obligatory: This is 1 2/3 Volvo 240s' worth of weight, two 240s' worth of cylinders, and anywhere from slightly more than one to five 240s' worth of power.
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Mobius
07/08/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
I think this car is awesome. 555 hp and huge torques and carry 3 friends and crush hating pedestrian proletariats in supreme comfort with unmissable looks? Kill the Ring record by flying through the forest and cutting right in front of the damn 911s and causing a huge crash behind you as the 911 driver swerves and crashes due to the ass-engined-ness?

Do want!
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petersterncan
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
"Full Disclosure: BMW wanted us to drive the X6 M so badly they flew us out to Atlanta and put us up in a five-star hotel where the water wasn't working. Boy, do we get cranky when we can't shower. Very cranky."

Was the toilet working at least or did you have to shit in a bucket?
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Ray Wert
07/07/09

@petersterncan: The toilet worked on the first flush. Luckily, that's all I needed.

Why am I even telling you this?
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Maymar
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
I can't help but feel that the X6 (really, the entire X series) is part of an elaborate German prank on us North Americans.
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Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
"The rest of BMW's M Cars-Reminding you on a daily basis just how damn good the M3 actually is."

Wow, I should work in advertising.

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Mad_Science
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
Anyone here have $90,000 to drop on a car?

Anyone?

Then I guess it's not surprising BMW doesn't give a crap what we think.
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DoctorNine's D9 Cat
07/07/09

@Mad_Science:

"..Anyone here have $90,000 to drop on a car? Anyone..?"

Actually, I do, yes.

But that's not the point.

And your implication is a bit annoying.

Just because there is a lot of talk, doesn't mean it is inconsequential talk.

I have never purchased an X model BMW, nor an SUV.

I never will.

If I were going with the 100K ride, a Maser or an R8 would be in the drive.

Maybe a 7-series, if the dealer didn't gouge too deep.
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Mad_Science
07/07/09

@DoctorNine's Tin Foil Hat: The point is all the ranting and raving and howling that goes on here has nothing to do with the market for this vehicle.

The people who'd buy this (or have it bought for them) would readily drop $600 on a pair of shoes or pay $300 for a bottle of wine. Just like the shoes, they're buying it to make some kind of statement.

There's no rational explanation for the purchase, no way to win a debate in favor of it.

Just as the purveyors of $300 wine don't do taste tests at Target, BMW has no need for Jalopnik commenters' opinions regarding the X6.
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Feds
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
You know, this used to be a nice little internet site.

Now it reviews X6 M's. Positively.
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Maymar
07/07/09

@Feds: Exactly, we should look upon it with derision until it's been out of production for ten years. Then we can switch to bemused nostalgia at the concept of a stonkingly fast 5500lbs hatchback BMW.
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DoctorNine's D9 Cat
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
First, if an M3 isn't faster than this around the 'Ring, then there is someting wrong with the M3. Regardless of power, accelerating and decelerating a larger mass, and the negative effects in the corners, could not be overcome by simple horsepower and bigger brakes alone. The physics of the larger vehicle impair optimal response. See the Lotus Elise for the appropriate illustration.

Second, there are much more desirable four-door vehicles than this potato-on-wheels in the $90,000 price range; many of which are more functional, and more comfortable, and faster.

Third, there is really no point in the potato-on-wheels SUV/CUV shape, unless you are going to go off-road. And this automobile isn't going to be going off-road. No off-road vehicle should cost $90,000, unless it has armor, and possibly a 50 calibre gun.

So no matter how you slice it, the thing is pointless.
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protohiro
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
I'm sorry, this car is absurd. Did bmw forget to look outside? Its the carpocalypse, economy fail '09. I mean, the days of people buying absolutely absurd cars are over. Its like the Mercedes G class. You have to respect the awesomeness of the vehicle But you since the i-bankers stopped getting their bonuses I don't expect people are going to be dropping $90k on a grocery getter anymore.

I'm sorry, I just can't imagine what BMW thinks the market for a car like this is. I mean I could buy one X6 M, or I could buy myself an M3 and a 328i.
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bonestock94
07/07/09

@protohiro: Rich people did not go extinct after the downturn in the economy.
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Mad_Science
07/07/09

@protohiro: If you've got the money to spend $90k on a car, you're not hurting in this economy.
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MushyHeirloom
07/08/09

@bonestock94: Even so, I'd like to think that they'd be smart enough not to buy something that'll get vandalised in the multi-story car park...ing garage.

Shite.
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wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
Everyone's going to bitch about this car.

Me? I don't really mind anything with 555 horsepower.
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NewbiusMaximus
07/07/09

@wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx is out of town for a week trying to fi...: Why not put this engine into the M3?
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
07/07/09

@NewbiusMaximus: Exactly, an M3. The problem is it would destroy the M5.
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Joshuman
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
I'm only reading this article because it has the M in the title.

It led me to read more about twin scroll turbos. It is very interesting if you like boost and who doesn't, unless it is a rocket aimed at your ass.

I still think the X6 and the like look terrible but I can certainly respect the technology and power underneath the toad-like shape.
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Joshuman
07/07/09

@Joshman Gesamtstrecke: Another image that happens to actually be from an X6 M
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cyclopticgaze
07/07/09

@Joshman Gesamtstrecke: Really? I'm pretty sure that picture is a still from Transformers 2. Not that I'd know. Everything in those movies is a blur 10,000 tiny moving parts.
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Syrax
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
"...that Wes enjoyed flicking around tight corners last April with its ass waving in the wind."

X6's or Wes's?
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leavethegun-takethecannoli
07/07/09

@Syrax: Probably Wes'
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Boosted Lego Wagon
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
"the X6 M is the ideal car to pick up your spirits in this day and age of a world in crisis."

The only possible way this sentence could be true is if it somehow incorporated me machine-gunning the car from a .50 cal mounted on a beat-up Hilux. That'd pick up my spirits all right.

This car is everything that's wrong with the auto industry: useless crap we don't need, burning enough gas on a school run to allow an entire squadron of Caterhams to go racing. Stop strapping JATO rockets to sows BMW, and learn how to make silk purses again.
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Tanshanomi
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
Flame me if you want, I think it's pretty damn engrossing. This fits into that Plus-Size Lingerie Model area of my brain: Big, Round, I can't keep my eyes off it, and I'd love the chance to get my hands on it.
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Elhigh
07/07/09

@Tanshanomi drives the Cadillac of Lincolns: And it's still not as fast in the turns as the properly lean ones.
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Elhigh
07/07/09

In reply to BMW X6 M: First Drive
If I wanted my ride to weigh 5000lbs, I'd drive two cars simultaneously.

Way to pack on the pounds, BMW. Push back from the buffet once in a while.

Twin Scrolls. Isn't that an air conditioning compressor? Suddenly the two and a half tons makes sense. It's not an SUV, it's a PTAC.
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elwood
07/07/09

@Elhigh: Hey, it's just a few hundred more pounds than a Challenger.
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BigHarv
07/07/09

@elwood: That shouldn't be the benchmark for anything. I don't describe myself as thinner than a sumo wrestler.
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elwood
07/07/09

@BigHarv: Hey, I'm not saying I wouldn't like it to weigh less, but it's pretty comparable in weight to other similarly sized SUV's, and it's a hell of a lot faster and better handling.
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protohiro
07/07/09

@elwood: yeah, but what planet are you on that you want an SUV to drive like a sports car? I mean, if you can drop $90k on a car you can afford to buy a nice SUV and a sports car.
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elwood
07/07/09

@protohiro: Well, I don't want an SUV at all. But if I had to drive one, I'd rather it drive like a sports car than like a Ford Explorer.
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Peugeot 504 - the Car for Nigeria
07/07/09

@elwood: I think the point about it costing 90 grand is that no one's forcing one on you. You'd have to actively choose it over the many, many other wonderful things $90,000 can buy.
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Mad_Science
07/07/09

@Peugeot 504 - the Car for Nigeria: Like 180 decent El Caminos.
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Mad_Science
07/07/09

@elwood: If I had to drive an SUV, I'd rather it have proper 4wd, low range, the ability to tow and the ground clearance to go offroading.

Just like I don't want the lifted, slower version of a WRX.

I don't think there's a person here who'd spend they fictitious $90k on one of these.
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Maymar
07/07/09

@elwood: 1184lbs isn't really "just a few hundred pounds."
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Mobius
07/08/09

@Elhigh: "Twin scrolls"

I want that in my MMORPG. If I played one.
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BigHarv
07/08/09

@elwood: If only it was the only BMW to weigh far too much. A 135 coupe weighs the same as an Accord sedan. What the hell?
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MushyHeirloom
07/08/09

@BigHarv: And the Accord's already too heavy... there's no way the "smallest BMW" should weigh more than my Volvo 240.
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