About nine months ago our own Wes Siler wrote a thoughtful obituary for Saturn in which he mourned the brand's failed potential at least as much as the cars it produced. Certainly the cars, themselves, were mostly just there, with only the Sky Redline Roadster giving so much as a nod to valuing driving pleasure over convenience of ownership. The cars weren't bad, exactly, but they were unremarkable, and towards the end they weren't even Saturns but Opels. Now that Penske has turned its back on a deal that would have seen them take over stewardship of the brand and dealer network, we're once again left with nothing much more than memories of a nameplate or sub-company or whatever that couldn't, or maybe just plain decided it wouldn't, live up to its admirable promises.

Wes Siler's eloquent memorial continues below.

In many ways, Saturn's short history, bland products and ultimate failure are emblematic of the wrong thinking and flawed practices that got GM and the American car industry into such trouble in the first place. Established in 1985 (sales began in 1990) to offer a riposte to the growing success of small imports, Saturn's first products adopted the bland economy of cars like the Toyota Corolla, but combined it with the kind of lackadaisical attitude that was rife throughout GM.

Touted as a "new idea, using the tag line "A brand about people" and "a different kind of car company, a different kind of car," you'd have expected Saturn to offer a genuinely revolutionary product. Unfortunately, the one genuine innovation was an all-plastic, dent resistant body, which Saturn originally claimed would allow for frequent restylings of its vehicles; something it didn't take advantage of until 1997, then dropped altogether in 2001.

Saturn's first line of cars was the S Series, available as a sedan, coupe or wagon. Power was provided by a small inline-four with either single or double overhead camshafts. The former made 84 HP, while the latter produced a sparkling 124 HP. The trade-off for limited performance was good fuel economy, which exceeded 40 MPG for the less powerful, manual transmission-equipped cars.

Sales were initially strong. It seemed there was a desire for appealing, small, economical cars and a small audience of American consumers believed Saturn was actually selling those vehicles. As the ‘90s drew to a close and it became apparent that GM wasn't bothering to significantly update, much less redesign the range, buyers finally caught on and sales weakened — except for a small, but still-rabid rag-tag group of fans.

The first significant new product came in the form of the 2000 L Series mid-size. It was based on the Opel Vectra, a car so horrendously bland Jeremy Clarkson was famously banned (we're told) from reviewing GM products after he said, "One of my least favorite cars in the world. I've always hated it because I've always felt it was designed in a coffee break by people who couldn't care less about cars. One of the worst chassis I've ever come across." Since Americans, at the time, had neither Top Gear nor an honest source for car reviews, some actually made the mistake of buying an L Series, encouraging GM to base future Saturn models on equally horrendous Opels. We now have the re-badged Antera (Vue), a re-badged Opel GT (Sky), a re-badged Opel Astra (Astra) and a version of the new Vectra (Aura). There's also a crossover called the Outlook, but since it's shared by almost every other brand under the GM banner, I'm not going to write anything more about it.

Thus ends our description of Saturn's products because, as you can tell, it was never a brand about product. Saturn was a brand about people. Mostly about exploiting them.

The "unique labor contract" that defined the brand's beginning was defined by such revolutionary ideas as allowing workers the flexibility to perform non job-specific tasks. For example, a welder might be allowed the freedom to sweep up his work area the end of the shift, thus allowing one worker to perform the job of two. Sales staff and factory workers were also encouraged to interact and share ideas. Workers also had the freedom to earn less money than their equivalents at traditional plants, but make up for that loss with production-based bonuses of up to $10,000. Unfortunately, those bonuses only lasted while sales were up and the most revolutionary part of the arrangement seemed to be the brand's ads that featured happy workers in lieu of appealing products. The agreement was dissolved in 2004.

Much was also made of Saturn's "no haggle" pricing and friendly dealership experience. The former disappeared as soon as sales started to slump, while the latter has been matched, if not exceeded by current market practice. The customer-tracking feature advertised in the famous "Jelly Donut" ad, for instance, highlights nothing but the integration of computer networks into service centers that took place throughout the industry in the ‘90s.

Along with Saturn, we also hope the US auto industry loses the assumption that the US car buyer is easily manipulated by marketing and will happily accept sub par products even while far better are offered by foreign competitors. Judging by GM's latest enthusiast products — the Corvette ZR1, Cadillac CTS-V and Pontiac G8 GXP - not only does someone at GM know that consumers want good products, but also how to make ones that are better than anything else in the world. It's that kind of thinking that might keep the rest of GM's brands intact.

Penske's decision came amid growing concerns related to the future supply of Saturn vehicles beyond the supply period it negotiated with GM. What? Is Opel going somewhere? More to come shortly.

Penske Press Release:

GM Press Release:

The speculation on the future of the Vue platform in the face of the Saturn brand's impending death has been announced, and it's going to Buick. It won't be just a shave and haircut though, it'll also be introduced with the previously announced plug-in 2-mode hybrid system which was destined for the Vue. The new system is a modified version of the previous 2-mode hybrid mating the 3.6L V-6 flex-fuel engine to a new battery pack with the same technology as the Chevy Volt, but with half the capacity. As a result the compact SUV will charge on standard 110V power in four to five hours and run in all-electric mode for at least ten miles.

The BuiVues (Vueicks?) will all get upgraded interiors, but the standard IC models will include a standard powertrain of the 2.4L Ecotec four-cylinder or optional upgrades of a 3.0L direct-injected V-6 and all-wheel-drive. The actual name of the vehicle and price point have yet to be announced, but we're very interested to see just what kind of fuel economy that 2-mode plug in will be capable of.

[GM Inside News]

That's right, it appears that the three SHOs that started the race have become one running SHO and a pair of parts cars, and they've got plenty of wrenchin' company in the pits. Yet some of the cars are holding together, and we saw an ever-shifting cast of top contenders today. When the first session ended at 6:30, the Dirty Some Beaches Honda Civic station wagon was on top. How? Well, any Civic that can keep its head gasket intact will get around the track pretty well, and the Dirty Some Beaches drivers know how to avoid the black flags; we have yet to see them in the Penalty Box. Adding drama to the standings, the #4 car (a Miata run by the same Texans who have been the People's Curse victims in both Houston races so far) started out with a 25-lap penalty and has managed to claw its way out of that hole, now closing to within just two laps of the leader. And what's the deal with that Grand Prix in the top ten? There's no telling how this will all shake out, but it should be 90 degrees and swampy in Belle Rose tomorrow, which means more thrown rods, more fried brakes, and more overall hoonage.

General Motors, Penske outline proposed deal for purchase of Saturn

Transaction would save more than 13,000 jobs; preserves renowned brand and retail network

Detroit — General Motors Corp. and Penske Automotive Group today confirmed details of a proposed transaction under which Penske would acquire the Saturn brand. If completed, the deal would save more than 350 dealerships and 13,000 jobs at Saturn and its retailers in the United States, and would preserve the customer-focused Saturn brand.

The proposed transaction is part of GM's rebuilding efforts outlined in the viability plan that was submitted to the U.S. government earlier this year. Under the terms in the memorandum of understanding, Penske would obtain the rights to the brand as well as certain other Saturn assets. GM would continue production, on a contract basis, of the Saturn Aura, Vue and Outlook.

"This is the combination of two iconic teams: Saturn and Penske," said Saturn general manager Jill Lajdziak. "GM had the vision to create Saturn and has the desire to see it succeed in the future."

"Saturn has a passionate customer base and outstanding dealer network," said Roger Penske, chairman of Penske Automotive Group. "For nearly 20 years Saturn has focused on treating the customer right. We share that philosophy, and we want to build on those strengths."

Saturn began selling cars in 1990 and has sold more than 4 million vehicles. More than 80 percent of those vehicles are still in operation, according to data from R.L. Polk. Saturn has regularly scored among the industry leaders for non-luxury brands in customer satisfaction surveys.

"There has been a groundswell of support for Saturn, with our retailers and owners urging us to save the brand," said Lajdziak. "We heard their call loud and clear, and it inspired us as we worked to secure Saturn's future."

The transaction is expected to close in the third quarter of this year and is subject to customary closing conditions and regulatory approvals. Financial terms of the agreement will not be disclosed at this time.

Yes, it's true. This vehicle was not born in the Italian countryside, and its owner does drink deeply from the fine tradition of race-honed thoroughbreds. This car is in fact a Saturn Sky.

Pick up your drink and/or clean off your monitor, we were shocked, shocked by the revelation ourselves. This charlatan thought he could pull one over by plastering Ferrari's prancing horse logo all over the vehicle and even appropriated the "Spyder" moniker for the hind end. We should have known — especially as the owner didn't even have the decency to take the "GM" badge off the rocker panel. Have you no shame sir? (Thanks for the tip Josh)

[Quattro World]

We don't get to see much detail of the new Astra which will likely debut at the Frankfurt Motor Show this September.

Opel will be offering several body-style versions for the upcoming Astra, including a coupe-inspired 3-door hatch named the GTC, a 4-door sedan, a wagon, a coupe/convertible and, of course, the standard 5-door hatch.

The new Astra is based on the GM's Delta II architecture, the same as the Chevy Volt. But don't expect the Astra to come as a plug-in or standard hybrid, at least, not at first. Do expect to see a new 1.4-liter, turbocharged gasoline/petrol engine with various power outputs.

Opel will likely be reserving its 2.0-liter engine for an OPC version (or the Astra VRX for Vauxhall) to rival the Golf GTI and other hot hatches, with that engine currently available in a 240 HP turbo configuration.
[Opel via carscoop via WCF]

GM to proceed with efforts to sell Saturn

DETROIT - General Motors is proceeding to the next step with respect to the sale of Saturn. A number of potential buyers have surfaced and expressed interest in the Saturn brand and retailer network. GM will be reviewing expressions of interest from the potential buyers and will look to secure an agreement with a specific buyer later this year. S.J. Girsky&Co. has been retained by GM as advisor for this transaction. Saturn will continue to keep its retailers updated on its progress throughout this process.

About Saturn:
Saturn markets vehicles in the U.S. and Canada through a network of about 400 retailer locations, with a focus on providing innovative products with solid value and excellent customer service. The brand has one of the freshest lineups in the industry: the Sky roadster, the Aura midsize sedan, the Vue compact crossover, the midsize Outlook crossover and Astra compact car. Saturn currently offers two of the most affordable hybrids on the road, the Vue Hybrid and the Aura Hybrid.

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As you might expect, going 30,000 miles without an oil change is not a recommended break-in procedure, and as a result the engine oil completely broke down turning into a thick greasy sludge. After finding this mess, technicians contacted Enterprise to see if their records showed any oil changes, which they did not, though it's suspected at some point at least one change was done as the factory oil filter has been replaced. Of course, that might have just been the factory oil filter being replaced. Nonetheless, the engine is completely ruined. It also goes to show just how serious a game of Russian Roulette you're playing if you buy a used rental car. (Hat tip to Zack!)
[Impala SS Forums]

GM currently has eight brands to contend with: Hummer, Chevy, GMC, Buick, Pontiac, Cadillac, Saturn and Saab. We're curious to hear what you think about these brands so we won't eliminate any four of them for you. But let's just say we're not betting on Saab making the cut. Help us design the new GM. What brands make the cut? [BusinessWeek]

It was truly a glorious weekend for Detroit at MSR; in addition to the Mustang domination of the race, a Saturn came in third. We also enjoyed the sight of such LeMons rarities as a Pontiac Grand Prix and an Eagle Talon.

Thanks to Myke Toman, Nick Pon, Zerin Dube and Speed:Sport:Life, Anna C of Bikini Racer, the Norwegian Slaabs, Saabs Gone Wild, Prison Break Racing, Team Beermer, LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman, Jackson Williams, and others for their fine photographs. And now, the American cars of the 24 Hours Of LeMons Gator-O-Rama:

It took until last fall for Google Street View to make it across the Atlantic, a year and a half after it debuted in the US. Both roads and privacy laws are narrower here. This must have figured in the delay, but the age of Peeping Toms is now upon us. And there certainly are other things to explore than the digitally blurred faces of Italian politicians on campaign posters around the Duomo in Milan.

Some of our roads are so narrow that even seated in a Hot Wheel of a local supermini the idea of traffic coming the opposite way is enough to fill you with dread. Convex mirrors to the rescue! You can find them in most intersection, like here in the village of Cernobbio in North Italy:

Look closer and you can see the Street View car itself reflected, with its scaffolding of camera equipment balanced on top. It is a black Opel Astra, which translates to Saturn ~ in the American language.

But look even closer, move along the road, and grind your teeth in frustration at the missed opportunity. This mirror happens to be mounted at the entrance of Villa d’Este, a magnificent estate on Lake Como, site of the annual Concorso d’Eleganza. The public road Via Regina passes right next to the Villa, at one point crossing beneath in a short tunnel, and when the Concorso is on in late April, you can stop at various observation points and drool at all the cars. Since this is Italy, you can do this in the close proximity of excellent food, so that all the Maserati-induced saliva will not go to waste and will help bits of mozzarella di bufala become parts of your body.

Should you find yourself in the area this year, do swing by on the weekend of April 25-26. It’s only 15 Euro-bucks to get in and you can liquefy your brain on cars faster than it takes a Ferrari Colombo engine to rev into the high latitudes.

If you happen to arrive at the right time, you can even catch a glimpse of ladies in decadent dress, idling by a Bugatti Type 57C Voll & Ruhrbeck. As if waiting for this 1939 cabriolet to set sail not for Lake Como, but for the Southern Ocean itself.

We saw plenty of the usual LeMons suspects at MSR in Houston last weekend, with 10 Mustangs, 6 RX-7s, 6 E30s, 4 CRXs, 4 Neons, and 4 Miatas showing up, but we also had our first-ever Infiniti Q45, a pair of Toyota pickups, an Opel GT, and an MGB-GT (which managed to get around the track startlingly quickly, in between lengthy jail sentences in the Penalty Box). In addition to Mustangs coming in first and second, we saw some other world-turned-topsy-turvy events. How about a LeMons race in which four Saabs enter… and all four are still running at the end? Sure, all the Saabs earned the new-for-Houston punishment for hitting tire walls and/or cones (old tires bolted to the car's roof), but they didn't throw rods or send major suspension components skittering off into the weeds in the first 30 minutes of the race! A four-banger Mustang finished second, a Saturn came in third, an 80s Dodge Daytona managed to contend, and the majority of BMW E30s raced for two solid days without exhibiting the usual maddeningly undiagnosable electrical woes (blown head gaskets and axle failures, certainly, but we didn't see the all-too-common cruel drama of E30 crew members weeping over multimeters and wiring diagrams).

This time I'm going to include each team's best lap time, so y'all can see for yourselves how "fast" does not equal "win" in the 24 Hours Of LeMons. Those of you contemplating horsepower-enhancing cheats would do well to note that the four-cylinder Mustangs performed just as well as their V8 siblings, and you Miata and E30 guys can go ahead and keep thumping your chests about those absurdly quick lap times… but remember, your favorite cars got stomped by a Saturn! Those of you wanting obsessively complete lap info can go here; keep in mind that a few cars may be showing too-low best lap times due to having taken what the corner workers dubbed the "Neon Bypass" (in honor of the oft-penalized Blueballs Neons) off-road shortcut around the chicanes.

Before you go check out our 95 Texas racin' machines, I've got a video that true 24 Hours Of LeMons fans ought to find quite entertaining. First, we've got one of the hairiest Integra-jumps-BMW-wheel bits ever caught on film, courtesy of the Unintended Acceleration Audi's in-car camera:


Zerin Dube, editor of Speed:Sport:Life volunteered for judging duties at the race, and he also did a good job covering the goings-on at his site. You'll enjoy the Penalty Box Punishments and the rest of the SSL race coverage.

Thanks to Zerin Dube, TheEastBayKid, Myke Toman, and a whole bunch of race team members for many of the photographs below.
When you're done here, be sure to check out the participants of previous LeMons events, including Arse Freeze '08, Texas '08, Toledo '08, New England '08, South '08, San Francisco '08, Arse Freeze '07, and San Francisco '07. I'll put up some more LeMons stuff when I get back to my normal weekend schedule, too. And now, the racers of the 2009 Gator-O-Rama: