Meet The Ferrari Owner Everyone Loves To Hate

"Success comes to those who work for it." That's what the latest Car Bros. video says about Damien Stonebrook, and it's spot-on accurate. He grew up around exotic cars thanks to his rich Cinemax director dad, and after crashing the M3 convertible he got for his 16th birthday, he knew he had to go the Ferrari route. » 2/23/15 2:28pm 2/23/15 2:28pm

Gunmen Kill 12 in Shooting at Paris Satirical Newspaper

Masked gunmen wielding Kalashnikovs and a rocket launcher killed at least 12 people and injured 10 more at the Paris offices of satirical French newspaper Charlie Hebdo on Wednesday before escaping. French president François Hollande called the shooting "unquestionably a terrorist attack." » 1/07/15 8:15am 1/07/15 8:15am

From Autoblopnik at SEMA: "This year's topics included 'Small Business Survival in the New Regulatory Environment,' 'The EPA and You: You're Fucked,' 'Ten Signs Your Escort Has Venereal Disease,' and 'Telling Your Spouse You Lost The Kids' College Fund at the Blackjack Table: Best Practices.'" » 11/06/14 2:07pm 11/06/14 2:07pm

EXCLUSIVE: Ferrari's New 'Americanized' Lineup Has Leaked

Earlier today we learned that when Ferrari CEO Luca di Montezemolo quit the company he noted, perhaps ruefully, that it was "now American." At first, I thought this was just a made-up hissy fit because he really clashed with Fiat CEO Sergio Marchionne. Boy was I wrong. Look what we found. » 9/10/14 3:55pm 9/10/14 3:55pm

Martians Invade Consumer Reports

Our friends over at satire site Autoblopnik have reported that Consumer Reports has now been taken over by an alien species due to their recommendation of the Buick Regal. To get more on this breaking story go here. » 7/25/14 4:40pm 7/25/14 4:40pm

From Autoblopnik: "We are incredibly proud of our poor performance," said Chrysler-Fiat spokesproblem Riccardo Denauissimo. "A lot of people were worried that adapting Fiat cars for the American market would take away the essential character of the brand. Our last-place finish in the J.D. Power Initial Quality Study™… » 6/20/14 12:32pm 6/20/14 12:32pm

The Five Types of Car Meets

Well folks, it's car meet/car show time again. East Coasters are remembering what decent weather feels like and Southern California has been rescued from a freezing, 68 degree Spring and is currently sitting at a balmy 80. This means that enthusiasts are once again free to enjoy their machines without having to break… » 6/09/14 9:18am 6/09/14 9:18am

Google's Self-Driving Car Has A Cute Exterior And No Morals Whatsoever

Google's latest self-driving car prototype has no steering wheel or controls of any kind inside. And, as Conan O'Brien has now exposed, that means it also has no morality. » 6/04/14 2:55pm 6/04/14 2:55pm

Via satirical site Sniff Petrol: 'For too long BMW has had its own way in selling cars to fucking dreadful human beings,' admitted Merc marketing director Marc Merketing-Direktor. 'The Concept Coupe SUV shows that we too understand how to appeal to customers who are a despicable waste of blood and organs'. » 4/11/14 1:50pm 4/11/14 1:50pm

I don't like April 1st. I do not like the fake press releases. Today, we honored people who sent out real press releases (no matter how small and hilariously, stupidly insignificant) with the best press they're ever gonna get. » 4/01/14 8:02pm 4/01/14 8:02pm

If Automakers Still Made Celebrity Endorsed 'Signature Series' Cars

Who remembers the Jack Nicklaus Signature Series Lincoln Town Car? Or maybe the Oleg Cassini AMC Matador? They're both members of the elite club of Signature Series cars — cars tailor-made to the exacting ideals of certain exceptional individuals. And I have some ideas. » 2/06/14 3:30pm 2/06/14 3:30pm

Rapidly escalating prices are making sustenance like Hondaloaf a luxury good for many crazy Americans, The Onion reported today. Is nothing going to be done about the car meat inequality in this country? » 1/23/14 4:38pm 1/23/14 4:38pm

I Was So Excited To Score This Old '80s Car Magazine

I forgot about Modern Shitbox — it was a childhood favorite until they went under in 1992. Way better than Crapcan Quarterly or Heap. » 1/07/14 2:40pm 1/07/14 2:40pm