San Diego police evacuated several businesses Wednesday morning after someone brought something that looked like a pipe bomb into Mercedes-Benz of San Diego. More than 300 people waited two hours while the bomb squad investigated the object with a bomb-sniffing robot.

Penitentiaries are called penitentiaries because they're supposed to reform people. But 26-year-old Joe Emanuel Hernandez apparently didn't learn his lesson after serving out two separate sentences behind bars.

"This is a carjacking," one of them said, reaching for his waistband. These two gang members did not know they were speaking to a San Diego police detective in an unmarked car. Oops.

So: thanks to TMZ, here's video of KONY 2012 mastermind Jason Russell's public meltdown in San Diego. We'll note that what he's doing there doesn't look, exactly, like "masturbating in public" which is what he was originally reported as having been detained over:

Jason Russell, the co-founder of Invisible Children and father of the five-year-old who featured in the viral KONY 2012 video, was detained in San Diego last night for "being drunk in public and masturbating," NBC San Diego reports. I know. I know.

The man was visibly drunk as he stumbled into the car lot more than three hours past midnight. He took a call on his cell phone, then became enraged. The dealership's security cameras caught every idiotic minute of what happened next.

The driver of a presumed-stolen Toyota Camry lost control and careened into a fire hydrant in San Diego earlier this month, releasing enough water to hold the car aloft for over an hour.

It's not unusual to have neighborly disputes over what goes down on the other side of the fence, but one San Diego neighborhood has noticed an increasing eyesore ever since a Google Street View car started parking down the street.

Street justice, extraordinary overkill edition: A boy throwing rocks at cars took a crossbow bolt to the belly yesterday, apparently as retribution for throwing a rock at a Toyota RAV4. The RAV4 had several passengers, one of whom literally went medieval on him, pulling out a crossbow and shooting the kid right then…

New information about yesterday's runaway Prius indicates the CHP had to tell the driver to use both the brake and the emergency brake. More proof of beige biting back.