So, I got on the horn with these guys and ordered me up some new front and rear hoses (plus new wheel cylinders). Because Project House Hell has been so all-consuming in recent months, PCH Car Numero Uno has been sitting untouched for quite a while, silently lowering property values. Meanwhile, the Civic is due for a new timing belt and I need to figure out what's causing that "Lean Condition Bank 1" error code in the Crown Vic.

It starts and moves under its own power, so all it needs to get on the street is the brakes and a few dozen nickel-dime fixes. And hey, it turns out it's not really a '67 after all! Actually, it's sort of a FrankenSprite, patched together from the corpses of at least three other cars; I discovered that the brake plumbing in the chassis comes from an early-to-mid-60s car, and I'd been wondering how a '67 managed to get a single-reservoir master cylinder in a year that the meddling federal government mandated the Communist-inspired dual system. Stay tuned for news of the PCH 20R Sprite's first drive… one of these weeks.

You've got the name, the overall rating Euro NCAP crash test rating and, you know, the video, below. Enjoy!

Vehicle:Mazda 3
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Infiniti FX
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Citroen DS3
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Toyota Urban Cruiser
Rating: ★★★☆☆

Vehicle: Mercedes GLK
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Opel/Vauxhall Astra
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Peugeot 5008
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Mercedes E-Class
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Chevrolet Spark
Rating: ★★★★☆

Vehicle: Volkswagen Scirocco
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: Chevrolet Cruze
Rating: ★★★★★

Vehicle: BMW X1
Rating: ★★★★★

The paper, written by Christopher R. Knittel and registered with the National Bureau of Economic Research (NBER), posits the following in it's abstract:

New car fleet fuel economy, weight and engine power have changed drastically since 1980. These changes represent both movements along and shifts in the "fuel economy/weight/engine power production possibilities frontier". This paper estimates the technological progress that has occurred since 1980 and the trade-offs that manufacturers and consumers face when choosing between fuel economy, weight and engine power characteristics. The results suggest that if weight, horsepower and torque were held at their 1980 levels, fuel economy for both passenger cars and light trucks could have increased by nearly 50 percent from 1980 to 2006; this is in stark contrast to the 15 percent by which fuel economy actually increased. I also find that once technological progress is considered, meeting the CAFE standards adopted in 2007 will require halting the observed increases in weight and engine power characteristics, but little more; in contrast, the standards recently announced by the new administration, while certainly attainable, require non-trivial "downsizing". I also investigate the relative efficiencies of manufacturers. I find that US manufacturers tend to be above the median in terms of their passenger vehicle fuel efficiency conditional on weight and engine power, and are among the top for light duty trucks; Honda is the most efficient manufacturer for both passenger cars, while Volvo is the most efficient manufacturer of light duty trucks. However, I also find that over time, US manufacturers' relative efficiency in both passenger cars and light trucks has degraded. These results may provide insight into their current financial troubles.

First we'd just like to say as consumers of horsepower and torque, we're quite happy with the improvements since 1980. We're wondering if Mr. Kittle has ever tried to merge into freeway traffic in a 1980 Toyota Corolla. Not a pretty sight.

In any case, the content of the study would be far more interesting to us if it didn't seem from the outset the author was only interested in painting automakers as wasteful and the automobile and its consumer the same way. We say this because despite mentioning technological advancement since 1980, there is absolutely no mention of the government mandates in improvement to emissions and safety. We can understand a statistical analysis of fuel economy versus weight and power, but to completely ignore mandates which add considerable girth to a vehicle is a major oversight which seems intentional.

Sure, cars are much bigger and more powerful than they were in 1980, but they also always start in the morning, aren't actively trying to kill you in a crash and don't spew blue smoke anymore. The inclusion of primary, secondary and now tertiary airbags alone adds weight and cost, not to mention ever increasing structural requirements in both the safety cage and crumple zones. We're not saying we don't like the idea of the study, as more information put into context is always better, but when you leave out an obvious weight driver the whole affair is suspect. (Thanks for the tip Andrew)

[NBER]

Photo credit Think Or Thwim, sculpture by Irwin Wurm

It all started about two years ago, when I caught the 24 Hours Of LeMons jones, bad. How bad? Bad enough to put a team together, drop a Ford 302 in a Volvo 244, and enter the notorious Altamont "Demolition Derby" LeMons race back in early '08. With a Scandinavian Black Metal theme, the car needed to look evil! And thus began the saga of the Screaming Skulls...

Nowadays, my beater '92 Civic sports a pair of clattery, chattery "talking" skulls that use up pretty much all of the hatch area's storage capacity. When I hit the brakes, the jaws open and close (with enough force to bite through a celery stalk; yes, I've tested the bite power) and the eyes gleam a menacing- yet safe- red.

They're loud and annoying, but totally worth it. All it took was a few bucks in parts and hundreds of hours of time.

First, I needed a couple of plastic skulls. It turns out that "factory fourth" med-student skulls are dirt cheap on eBay. They're cheap because they tend to have different colors for the cap and face, or maybe some missing teeth, or just ill-fitting parts. None of that mattered for this project, so I ordered two right away.

My initial plan was to use vacuum motors, or "suck power," to actuate the jaws. I grabbed a couple of heater-vent vacuum actuators from a Chevy Astro Van and started cutting holes in the skulls. They're made of very dense, heavy plastic that's quite easy to drill, cut, and grind. I started the project by drilling out the eye sockets and cutting another hole at the base of the skull for the steel pipe that will form the "neck."

The illuminated red "eyeballs" were made from a pair of steel-and-glass Alfa Romeo warning lights, pulled from junked Alfa Spiders. Junkyard tip: always grab these lights when you see them; the quality is excellent and they're easy to mount on your homemade instrument panel projects.

The jaws on the cheapo plastic skulls don't include a reliable hinge mechanism for the jaw, so I went with a homemade rod-and-tube arrangement. Drill some holes, push the pipe through the jaw holes and a piece of tubing, then JB weld the ends in place.

Here you can see the pipe T fitting epoxied into place at the base of the skull, as well as the installation and wiring for the eyeball lights.

The Astro Van vacuum actuator goes into an aluminum spacer plate that mounts between the skull and its lid. There's a rod going down to the jaw. During high vacuum (engine deceleration), the actuator will suck the jaw closed; mash the gas pedal and the resulting low vacuum will let the springs pull the jaw open. Now repeat these steps with a second skull!

We mounted the skulls on the car's roof, hooked them up to a vacuum port on the intake manifold, and went racing. The skulls worked, but the jaws only opened at WFO throttle and it was a chore to get the springs adjusted for the correct tension. Clearly, I'd need to go to electrically-operated skulls next time!

I didn't have to look far to find electric actuators for the upgrade; most Volvo 240s came standard with power door locks. I sold the actuators that came with our car to meet LeMons budgetary requirements, so I had to hit the junkyard to get some more for the skulls. Here's a promising candidate!

Here's a mugshot of a typical Volvo 240, to make your junkyard shopping trip go faster.

First step is to remove the window crank, armrest, and door panel.

There's the actuator! A few turns of the wrench and a snip of the cutters and it shall be mine.

Voila! One more and I'm done.

My junkyard shopping isn't through yet, though; I'll need some relays and a turn signal flasher to create the "brain" that will control the skulls. Next stop is a 1980s BMW for some Bosch relays. This E30 looks promising.

There we go! This project requires three SPDT relays per skull, for a total of six. No problem finding Bosch SPDTs on an E30- just look for the ones with five terminals, including two labeled "87a" and "87b." As for the turn signal flasher, I like the old-fashioned cylindrical ones from pre-1990s Detroit cars; these skulls will use Chrysler K-car flashers.

The control circuitry is pretty simple: the power to the eyes and the coil of Relay #1 goes through the turn signal flasher (I added a taillight bulb, labeled "Load Bulb" in the diagram, inside the skull to provide enough current draw to make the flash rate a bit faster). When the coil on Relay #1 activates, it causes the coils of Relay #2 and Relay #2 to activate, which reverses the polarity of the power leads going to the lock actuators in the skulls. This causes the actuators to deploy down ("lock") as well as up ("unlock"), which means springs won't be necessary to close the jaws.

Speaking of jaws, I decided to improve the linkage with a double-jointed arrangement.

Some modification to the lock actuators was necessary to attach the jaws.

Now it's time to start playing with wires.

Here's a quick bench test of the circuitry. Hey, it works!

And it works when installed in the skull, too!

There's just enough room in the skull for the relays, flasher, lock actuator, wiring, and load bulb.

It's going to be a tight fit to get the lid installed, but it should work.

And remember, everything has to be done twice!

For Black Metal V8olvo Mark II, I decided to get some anatomically correct plastic skeletal arms (also cheap on eBay) and rig up the skulls so they appear to be backseat passengers. Add a T-shirt and it looks pretty good.

I hooked up the wiring to what became known as "The Metal Switch" on the race car's instrument panel. Pulling the Metal Switch activated the skulls and caused Opeth to crank from the in-car PA system. Oh, they'll love this at the track!

Some cheap blond costume wigs gave our skulls more of a "dead Swede" look. Add some evil black robes and spiked Hammer Of Thor V8olvo medallions and we were in business!

It looked great on the race track!

I'd be going on to a new theme for the race car, so the skulls were retired. What to do with them? I know- brake lights for my Civic! First step was to find an unused circuit in the fusebox to get some power. There's no sunroof on my car, so the sunroof fuse it shall be!

It would probably be more sanitary to tap into the brake light switch at the pedal, but that would mean running more wires to the back of the car. Instead, I'll just splice into the taillight wiring harness.

Since I've got junkyard relays all over the place, it's no problem to find one to actuate with the signal from the taillights. This will go in the spare tire well in the hatch.

A little carpentry work will be needed to mount the neck-pipes in a way that will be visible in the car's back window.

Because safety is so important, I'll use these long bolts through the spare tire (which is clamped to the floor) to hold the Skull Shelf in place.

A couple of wingnuts and it's fixed pretty firmly. As long as I don't wreck at a speed above, say, 15 MPH I shouldn't get bashed in the back of the head by 30 pounds of plastic skulls. Don't try this at home unless you find some way to mount the skulls more solidly.

I don't want the wigs coming off the skulls when I open the hatch, so a few hairstylist-approved sheet-metal screws will ensure that they stay in place.

Because following drivers at night won't be able to see anything of the skulls but four glowing eyes when I hit the brakes, I'll need to illuminate their faces. The rear side marker lights from a mid-80s BMW 7 series are just the right size, so it's off to the junkyard for some more shopping.

Some coat-hanger wire and an easy wiring job and the face lights are in place. I'll bend the wires so that the lights will be hidden below the edge of the window, out of view of drivers behind the Civic.

Here's the shelf installed in the car. I've cut holes in the hatch floor and carpeting for the mounting screws, and the wiring harness connects to the skulls via a 2-pin connector, making it easy to remove the whole unit when I get tired of the lack of cargo space.

The skulls look good installed, although the noise they make when I hit the brakes is a bit maddening. Sort of a "Ka-CLACK! Ka-CLACK! Ka-CLACK!" racket, which irritates nearby drivers nearly as much as it irritates me. The slightly different cycle rate for each skull's turn signal flasher means that they rarely sync up.

The whole rig looks quite snazzy. Amazingly, I rarely get pulled over by Johnny Law while driving this fine automobile.

My long-suffering neighbors have given up any hope of me ever driving a nice car. I like to get their hopes up by bringing home the occasional brand-new press car... which then leaves a few days later.

One skull has a ponytail, so you can tell them apart.

Here's what it looks like at night. Success! The puzzled looks I get from tailgaters are worth the effort... maybe.

Previously, infrared cameras from companies like Mercedes have been able to identify pedestrians, but were only capable of drawing a driver's attention to them through a display screen. The Volvo Pedestrian Detection system adds an extra levels of capability to that — tracking their speed and direction and the ability to automatically apply the brakes — leading the Swedish brand to claim huge safety advances.

While over-protective parents and everything-is-someone-else's-fault Nazis will see a clear benefit in a car that removes a driver's ability to run over their spoiled, playing-in-the-street children, we're a bit more skeptical of the need for this technology. Surely the only 100% effective method of eliminating car/pedestrian interfaces is to separate roads from pedestrian areas. We'd much rather see more pedestrianized streets in city centers and barriers between sidewalks and streets than we would expensive, prone-to-failure technology. Like other safety aids-antilock brakes springs to mind as a good example-we can see drivers learning to rely on the Pedestrian Detection system over their own judgement and skill, then failing to pay attention at crucial moments. [via Facebook.com/Volvo]

Researchers Philip Michael and Michael C.F. Smith measured noise levels with an iPhone running DbMeter Pro at speeds of 50, 60 and 70 MPH in various convertible cars on both sides of the driver’s head.

Their measurements indicate little difference in noise levels relative to speed: 86, 86 and 87 decibels were measured for the three speeds, respectively, with a peak of 97.

Michael and Smith conclude that “noise experienced arises due to a combination of factors including road surface, traffic congestion, and type, as well as speed and car type. However, while motorcyclists are well versed in using ear protection, this study highlights that drivers of convertible automobiles may also be at risk of noise-induced hearing loss.”

Eighty-five decibels is the threshold above which hearing loss becomes a risk—and the measured peak of 97 is enough to cause hearing damage after 15 minutes of unprotected exposure. The researchers have found that rolling up the windows cuts noise to below that threshold. This, however, can interfere with cocking your elbow out the window, so it might not be a viable suggestion for convertible owners.

Decibel is a logarithmic unit, meaning a numerical increase of 10 corresponds to a doubling of sound amplitudedoubles the subjective loudness of the sound. Here’s some common sounds to put these numbers in perspective:

• 80 dB: average city traffic, garbage disposal
• 84 dB: diesel truck (at 40 MPH from 50 feet)
• 85–90 dB: lawnmower, food blender
• 88 dB: subway, motorcycle from 25 feet
• 98 dB: farm tractor

Just the thing to read on an Indian summer day. You can hear a thousand Miatas weeping.

Source: Otolaryngology – Head and Neck Surgery (research), National Institute on Deafness and Other Communication Disorders (noise level comparisons)

Photo Credit: Balázs Fenyő

This I had not remembered from previous trip to the United States—maybe it’s a recent invention. In any case, bumper guards are perhaps the ugliest things affixed to non-tuner automobiles.

I realize this will read as impolite for the owners of expensive cars, especially coming from someone who is more used to seeing little beat-up city cars here in Europe, but what exactly is the deal with these bumper guards I saw all over New York City?

Do people drive with these things on all the time? Why not get a banger of a car for inner city errands? Why take a fine-looking sedan and Pampers it like a child with substandard bowel control? It’s like buying a nice leather shoe and wearing it all the time enclosed in the blue plastic shoe protectors one has to wear in hospitals.

This particular example, photographed at the Gansevoort Street entrance of The High Line, was manufactured by Parking Armor, who claim to be “the ultimate in bumper protection.” Who would have figured that one day we would have a strap-on contraption for an automotive part which was designed to sacrifice itself for the sake of pedestrians and car occupants.

And how long until airbags get their own feather pillows to rest on after a stressful, violent explosion?

Those who make decisions about safety features, for the most part, treat the vehicle as an uncontrolled projectile knocking about the landscape like a steelie in a pinball machine. Sure, we now have dual-reservoir brake systems and better lighting, but most of the safety-enhancing hardware in modern-day vehicles involves crumple zones, airbags, etc. All that gear means that vehicle occupants are more likely to survive the inevitable crash… but is the crash really inevitable?

What if all drivers were actually required to know how to drive, and their vehicles were designed to take advantage of their skills? Say, a setup like the one postulated by Gilbert Shelton? We'd have commuters in lightweight, nimble econoboxes and minivans that stuck to the road like a Lotus Seven, with sober drivers paying attention to their surroundings… and those who couldn't handle it could trundle along in the urine-scented comfort of a goddamn transit bus! What do you say?

Step One:
The first vehicle to arrive stops before reaching the collision scene and stages 10-20 meters back from the incident. The driver also sets their vehicle's hand brake (or e-brake) tightly in case of a rear impact to prevent the emergency vehicle from being pushed into the scene.

Step Two:
Traffic cones and warning signs are placed in the road to warn oncoming traffic and to direct them out of the lanes that are obstructed. 

Step Three:
When fire trucks arrive at the scene they stage further back, parking at a 45-degree angle in what is known as the "fend-off position," which is used as a last resort in case another motorist slams into the scene.

Step Four:
On the highway, approximately 150 meters of cones or other warning devices are placed in the road to protect rescue crews and investigators, though the distance can be less on city streets or roads with slower traffic.

Step Five:
Ambulances are staged on the "safe" side of the scene, which means past the accident but within the cone area. Any other investigation or emergence response vehicles line up on the safe side between the "fend-off" truck or on the other side near the ambulances in a way that doesn't block their path.

Step Six:
Investigators will take as long as they need if it's considered a crime scene, removing vehicles and opening up lanes only after the evidence is collected.

[Info And Image: Arrive Alive South Africa]

The key to Walker's shirt business is that the merchandise must be cheap. That means that he's doing all his screening in his garage, using factory-second shirts in generally unappetizing colors. Because he's letting the 24 Hours Of LeMons Supreme Court stay at his race shack across the street from Carolina Motorsports Park, I'm handling the eBay part of the deal… which means I'm going all Mean LeMons Judge on you wannabe shirt buyers. First of all, you don't get to choose the color! Because I'm sorta softhearted by Mean LeMons Judge standards, I'll let you specify the color you don't want to get, so if you're one of those guys who thinks your testes will evaporate if you get caught wearing pink (for example), feel free to indulge your insecurities by requesting that I not ship you a pink shirt. If pink (or baby blue, or laundry-dyeing red) is all that's left by the time you buy your shirt, that's what you'll get! Shipping cost is exactly what the USPS charges for domestic or international Priority Mail Flat-Rate envelope, and I might just sneak some 24 Hours Of LeMons stickers in a few of those envelopes.
Small DTTS Shirt
Medium DTTS Shirt
Large DTTS Shirt
Extra Large DTTS Shirt

My friend had come out to the West Coast to check out the Maker Faire, and since he has the World's Coolest Engineering Job (fabricating and installing hidden surveillance gear in vehicles for an organization I'm not allowed to name) I figured I'd see what he could do with the Datsun Talkbox. After a few minutes with a multimeter and some wiring diagrams, he had some good news and some bad news for me. The bad news was that the device's control circuitry was pretty much fried; the good news was that the motor, stylus, and amplifier circuitry were all fine, and it's a pretty easy hack to control the whole mess manually. You know what's coming, right? Datsun Talkbox Scratching! Get ready for DJ Murilee Maxima, world!

Naturally, things haven't worked out so well for her in the brake department (four new rotors tend to add quite a bit to the cost of a brake job), but maybe next time will be different! Her example may be the reason I find this xkcd comic so entertaining, though the truth is that I've been a big xkcd junkie for years (an occupational hazard of working in the software industry, which I do when I'm not writing about cars) and I don't need much of an excuse to push Randall Munroe's work on others. Here's the comic in its entirety; thanks to Fej for the tip:



[xkcd]

Why, you do what I did and add to the safety by whipping out your camera and shooting some video of the action! Oakland's San Leandro Street is such a driving adventure that I've often felt it ought to be the inspiration for a driving video game, in which the player pilots an '83 Chevette with no license plates and three space-saver spares the length of the much-potholed street, dodging brakeless 18-wheelers, insensate drunks passed out on the gas pedals of rampaging Chrysler New Yorkers, Sterno bums shambling along pushing trains of lashed-together shopping carts, and so on. Unfortunately, the road surface was too bumpy for the camera to register the nerve-wrackingly loose front left wheel on the bus, but you can see the engine cover on the right side of the bus swinging, as the driver weaves randomly down the road.

Toyota Motor Company has recently announced a new in-car proprietary telematics program named Safety Connect for its Toyota models and Enform with Safety Connect for its Lexus luxury brand. The new safety features will slowly make their production debut in select Toyota and Lexus vehicles over the next year. While sharing many similarities with GM’s OnStar system, the Toyota Safety Connect features four main safety and security features: Roadside Assistance, Emergency Assistance Button (SOS), Automatic Collision Notification (ACN) and Stolen Vehicle Location (SVL). These features are designed to allow ToMoCo’s customers to have a semblance of safety and security while on the road they wouldn't ordinarily get without such new technologies as a cell phone or a CB radio.

The Toyota brand’s Safety Connect uses embedded GPS and cellular signals to signal for help if an airbag has been deployed or a severe rear-end collision has been detected. In a case where the system isn’t activated automatically, an occupant of the vehicle can use the Emergency Assistance Button (SOS) to contact emergency services manually. The SOS button can also be used to contact Roadside Assistance in the event of a break down. If the vehicle is ever stolen, once a police report has been filed, the Stolen Vehicle Location feature may be activated to locate the car – think of it as a factory Lo-Jack system.

ToMoCo’s luxury brand, Lexus, receives all of the standard Safety Connect features and adds a few more conveniences to make up the Lexus Enform service. Additional features include Destination Assist and eDestination. Consider these two services as a personal in-car concierge that can help with directions as well as recommend local restaurants and hot spots. When the driver has made a choice the destination is sent to the vehicle’s navigation system. If the vehicle owner wants to plan the route themselves, the eDestination service is accessible from any PC and when planning is complete, it will send the information to the navigation system. All of these features will be accessible though the Lexus Flexible Voice Interface, a casual-speech voice recognition system, scheduled to debut on the 2010 RX model.

Look for the GM OnStar rivaling Safety Connect and Enform services to debut in select models later this year, each with an included one-year subscription.

PRESS RELEASE

Toyota Motor Sales, U.S.A., Announces Dual-Brand Telematics Programs: Lexus EnformTM and Safety ConnectTM Available in 2009

LAS VEGAS (January 7, 2009) – Toyota Motor Sales (TMS), USA, Inc. today announced that it will launch its proprietary telematics systems in the year to come. The all-new systems will be available on select models with customized versions for both Lexus and Toyota brands.

"We are proud to introduce these services and advance our relationships with our customers by providing them the features they need to feel safer and more secure while on the road," said Jon Bucci, TMS vice president, Advanced Technology Department. "Our primary focus while developing our services was on three key traits: choice, convenience and control. We feel that our new telematics offerings deliver on these attributes, hitting the mark for what our customers have shown us they will be looking for in their next vehicle purchase."

The Toyota brand will introduce Safety Connect on select Toyota models, helping to bring its drivers an added peace of mind. Lexus will introduce Lexus Enform with Safety Connect, a service built on the foundation of valuable safety and security services with the added layer of more convenience-oriented features and specialized advanced technologies.

New Offerings Built on a Solid Heritage of Quality
With characteristic Toyota vision, sights have been set on bringing Toyota's proprietary telematics products to the U.S. for many years.

"Prior to entering the U.S. market full force, Toyota practiced a deliberate approach to product development based on our experience in Japan, in-depth research and relentless product testing in order to both deliver to customers' expectations and produce systems befitting the Toyota name," said Bucci. "Safety Connect and Lexus Enform are the results of several years of due diligence and dedicated teams working in
partnership with our highly experienced providers."

Safety Connect: A Secure Foundation
Available on both Lexus and Toyota brands, Safety Connect is the cornerstone of Toyota's new telematics offerings and will provide fundamental services to help extend confidence to drivers on the road.

"While a portion of the industry appears to be migrating to reliance upon wireless handheld devices to deliver in-vehicle safety, we've followed our engineering insights and Toyota's G-Book and G-Link roots in Japan," said Bucci. "Based on our experience and research, our core safety and security technology is embedded in the vehicle to help ensure reliability and responsiveness."

As the foundation of Toyota's telematics systems and available on select vehicles,
Safety Connect will include the following four safety and security facets:

Automatic Collision Notification (ACN)
Safety Connect's ACN will help drivers receive the necessary response from emergency teams. In the event of either an airbag deployment or a severe rear-end collision; the response center will be automatically notified via embedded cellular technology and GPS. Once the response center agent receives the vehicle ID and the vehicle's location, the agent can speak with the driver to ascertain the level of emergency. If the driver is unable to communicate, the agent automatically treats the call as an emergency. The response center agent then uses the vehicle's GPS location to determine the nearest Public Safety Answering Point (PSAP) available to provide emergency support and will offer to stay on the line until emergency assistance arrives.

Stolen Vehicle Location (SVL)
Safety Connect subscribers will be able to rely on an extra level of security in the event that their vehicle is stolen. If this should happen, Safety Connect will assist in tracking the location of the stolen vehicle using the vehicle's GPS. Once a police report has been filed and the owner contacts the Safety Connect call center to report the theft, call center agents will assist local authorities to help recover the vehicle-keeping the owner apprised of the progress.

Emergency Assistance Button (SOS)
All Safety Connect–enabled vehicles will come equipped with an SOS button, with the call center's 24-hour emergency assistance only a press away. When an emergency situation develops, subscribed customers will be able to quickly reach the Safety Connect response center to communicate their emergency. Again using embedded cellular and GPS technology, the agent will assess the situation and dispatch the necessary assistance based on the type of emergency.

Roadside Assistance
When a driver encounters problems on the road, the Safety Connect response center will be available for roadside assistance 24 hours a day via the SOS button. Call center agents will help drivers receive aid for a wide range of needs, such as towing, jump start, flat tire, fuel delivery, etc. With this service, drivers will not need to rely on additional membership organizations for roadside coverage to help them get back on the road.

All Safety Connect calls will be sent directly to Toyota's dedicated, specialized telematics response center operated by ATX Group, a leading provider of global automotive telematics services for over a decade. Drivers can rest even easier with the added level of confidence that comes with having this service as the backbone of Safety Connect's security offerings.

Lexus Enform: Pinnacle of Convenience
Lexus Enform takes Toyota's telematics services to a new level of care with a diverse assortment of offerings ranging from information and convenience capabilities to up-to-the-minute weather reports.
"We specifically steered away from a one-size-fits-all approach," explained Bucci, "recognizing that we have two distinct markets for telematics products and services and catering our offerings to each of our valued customer sets."

The cornerstones of Lexus Enform are two convenience-based services: Destination Assist and eDestination. With these features, Lexus vehicles can become a virtual information tool-giving drivers the ability to send and receive the data they choose and need along the way. Both services also rest on the solid foundation of Toyota's dedicated ATX call center.

Destination Assist
Live-operator assistance with finding destinations will be just the press of a button away with Destination Assist. While either parked or driving, the driver will be able to easily connect to an operator to ask for help finding local points of interest from dining to gas stations, dry cleaners to museums. As an added bonus to Lexus drivers, Zagat's best-in-breed restaurant content will also be available via Destination Assist.
Destination Assist operators will steer drivers to the nearest or preferred destination, giving them either the specific business or address requested or nearby choices if, for example, the call is for a specific type of cuisine but the driver does not know the exact restaurant they would like to visit. Once the driver tells the operator their choice, the destination is sent wirelessly to the vehicle's navigation system.

eDestination
An expedient self-service feature of Lexus Enform is eDestination, which will allow the user to go online, via the Lexus owners' Web site, to select and organize destinations of their choice and then send them wirelessly to their vehicle. From any computer, Lexus Enform-subscribed owners will be able to simply log in to their account and search for destinations by one of three options, point of interest (POI) name, category, or address, in Lexus' POI database-the same nationwide database in the vehicle's navigation system. By entering either a city and state or a Zip code with their search option, they will receive a numbered list of relevant choices all called out on a map screen. The user can then simply select the destination of their choice and send it to a folder-creating a new one or inserting it into one they have already built. When finished making selections and creating folders, the user simply selects "save to vehicle" and their personalized destinations will be available to load into the vehicle's navigation system upon the next start up. Going hand in hand with the quality our drivers have come to expect and rely upon in Lexus vehicles, Lexus Enform drivers will also have easy online access to Zagat-rated restaurants nationwide via eDestination.

eDestination will enable users to build their library of destinations in up to 20 customized folders with up to 10 destinations per folder. This will enable Lexus Enform subscribers to select and send an unprecedented total of 200 personalized destinations to their vehicle. The folder cache will always be present online for users to save or update as they see fit. For example, folders with the addresses of friends, family, or favorite local restaurants can be saved and maintained while new folders can be created for specific occasions-a vacation ("Road Trip to Boston") or business meetings ("LA Biz Travel")-and updated to meet current plans. Wherever Lexus drivers need to go, they will be able to plan trips easily and in advance, and even update from the road, with eDestination.

Flexible Voice Interface
Because Lexus Enform is a navigation-based system, vehicles equipped with navi will automatically include one of Lexus Enform's most functional-and sure to be favorite-systems, the updated voice recognition system currently only available on the MY10 Lexus RX vehicles. This new casual-speech voice recognition system, called voice command, features VoiceBox Technology's award-winning, patented Conversational Voice Search, and allows drivers to speak more flexible, conversational commands for easier access and control.

Voice command software enhances standard voice recognition and functions as a supplementary layer "on top" of the existing voice recognition system, an application not seen before in the automotive world. Without voice command, users must speak commands in a specific order, e.g., "Phone > Dial by Name > Dial Bob." Now this same task can be completed simply by saying, "Call Bob at home." The voice command system also works to control many functions of the audio system, heating and air conditioning, and the navigation system. Commands such as, "Make it cooler," "Let's find XM channel 46," "I want a Japanese restaurant," and "Where's the nearest gas station along my route?" make tasks easier to accomplish, in fewer steps, with more flexible speech, and allow the driver to focus more on the road ahead.

Mobile Audio Casts with Lexus Insider
One thing we know about Lexus drivers is that they appreciate up-to-the-minute information about the world around them. With Lexus Insider, a complimentary service on all Lexus Enform navigation-equipped vehicles, customers will be able to listen to audio broadcasts in their vehicles with the push of a button. A first in the industry, brief
"hot topic" audio programmes, hand selected for our customers, will be sent regularly to vehicles and made available to drivers to enjoy whenever they see fit. Customers who would prefer not to receive Lexus Insider broadcasts will be able to easily opt out of the service. Those customers who do elect to receive them will be able to select whether or not to receive automatic notifications when news is available.

Topics will include vehicle technology insights, with tips on their specific model of Lexus vehicle and its capabilities; updates on Lexus-exclusive regional events; and selections from Lexus magazine lifestyle articles. Additionally, customers will also receive Insider insights into exclusive destinations appealing to Lexus drivers. Lexus drivers alone will benefit from the added convenience of having these broadcast transmissions also include the destination's information provided as a downloadable POI, enabling them to easily save the spot to their navigation.

Because broadcast data transmission to automobiles is necessarily complicated by the unpredictable nature of when, and for how long, vehicles will be powered on, Lexus Insider makes use of innovative technology to optimize delivery. Thus equipped, Lexus Enform vehicles can successfully receive audio casts in spite of disruptions to transmissions-helping to ensure that listeners receive Lexus Insider stories seamlessly and without complications.

XM – Beyond Radio
Lexus Enform vehicles will be factory ready for subscriptions to a variety of innovative XM services. Standard equipment on Lexus vehicles will include available XM satellite radio programming and its available "Best of SIRIUS" content. Additionally, Lexus Enform vehicles will also feature XM NavTraffic® and XM NavWeatherTM services. These XM services will offer three-month trials, after which subscriptions will be required. XM NavTraffic informs the driver of current traffic conditions with real-time traffic displays. When traffic problems are detected, in order to avoid them the navigation system alerts the driver so that the route can be adjusted. XM NavWeather will provide near real-time weather conditions as well as spoken and nav-screen forecasts, both based on official National Weather Service data. Lexus Enform will also provide the platform for XM® Sports and Stocks, a service included with audio programming, which provides in-car personalized updates on customer-selected sports and stocks so drivers can stay connected to their favorite teams and investment data while on the road. Additionally, Lexus Enform's advanced voice command system will be equipped to operate many functions of all XM services, adding a new level of flexibility.

Availability
Safety Connect and Lexus Enform will be delivered on select models beginning in late summer 2009 as embedded, factory-installed hardware that can be activated upon subscription at dealerships. An included one-year trial subscription will be offered for new vehicle purchases. More details on product roll-out will be announced closer to launch.

[via Toyota]

Walker's plan is to get rich selling really nice quality shirts for big bucks to fashion-conscious types, but he's still perfecting his technique by churning out these test runs on new factory-second blank shirts. That means you, the penny-pinching cheapskate wise and frugal Jalopnik readers, get them for cheap! The bulk of the shirts appear to be Hanes Heavyweight 50/50s and they look pretty good for the most part, but at $12.50 per ($15 for small and $17.50 for 2XL, because the cheap shirt warehouses charge more for those sizes) they might have weasel rips, bullet holes, Agent Orange contamination, etc., and these things are going out on a strictly one-way trip, defects and all!


As for colors, these shirts got 'em! Only thing is, you don't get to choose the color. Is that clear? Your shirt will come in some hideous random color! When you buy factory-second shirts in totally random colors, they're way cheap; let the rich folks pick their colors, we say. There are no pink shirts. There are no white shirts. There are no black shirts. There are some really vile blues, the whole excretory spectrum of yellows and browns, some reds that I'm pretty sure are just itching to dye all the other clothes in the wash a sickly pink, some dingy grays, mold greens, etc., plus some of those edge-case colors whose names are known only to Martha Stewart. You can go ahead and specify one color that you most don't want, and I'll sort of try not to get you that color… if you're lucky and I'm in a good mood.

Keep in mind that this is a special deal aimed at getting as many Jalopnik readers as possible hooked up with shirts, so please limit your purchases to one or two shirts- we want everyone here to get a shot at genuine DTTS Shirt ownership. If you have three kids or some other good reason to buy more than two shirts, include a heartfelt note with your order and I might relent on the quantity limit. There will be more of these at some point, so don't feel bad if you miss out.

This all started out when the Sarah Palin punishment at the 24 Hours Of LeMons Toledo race raised the bar for innovative ways to penalize lousy drivers on the race track. I'll be judging at the Houston race this weekend, so a special Texas-themed penalty would be needed. But what? Then I remembered: In 1982, Ozzy Osbourne was arrested for pissing on the Alamo, drunk and wearing a dress, and his albums were burned by enraged mobs throughout the Lone Star State.


And what was Ozzy's day job in Birmingham, before Black Sabbath hit it big? He worked on a British Leyland assembly line, testing horns! Naturally, the Ozzy Osbourne Inertial Penalty Horn would require horns from a BL product. While you might find the occasional MG or Triumph in self-service junkyards, 70s Jaguars are always plentiful. Mount the pair of genuine Lucas Electric horns (high- and low-pitch units) on a crude bracket screwed together from scrap plywood, then add a Bosch-type relay pocketed at the junkyard (you can skip the relay, but the high draw of the horns will fry the switch contacts after a few applications, due to arc-welding-style sparking). Mount the bracket close to the driver, but not so close that he can reach it while strapped in!


The inertia switch- which is two-dimensional version of a pinball-machine tilt switch- can be made from junk just lying around; in this case, a piece of plywood (notched for easy zip-tie attachment to a roll cage bar), some coat hanger wire, plumber's tape, and a plastic windshield-washer tubing tee. Like all serious projects, the whole mess is held together with JB Weld.



The switch contacts are the plumber's tape on one side and a big Honda steering-wheel nut pocketed at the junkyard. Depending on how the switch is oriented, the contacts will close when the car accelerates, or turns, or decelerates… or when it hits a big bump, or gets a big gust of wind inside.


To get power, the alligator connector from a dead timing light clamps onto the car's battery. I added a 20-amp fuse inline and covered it with lots of electrical tape.


How to get the power from battery to relay? Cut a hole in the hood with this step drill and run the cord through the side window opening! Ram a sheetmetal screw into the car's floor near the horns and you've got your ground. Hey, they're $500 cars, right?

Ford spokesman Wes Sherwood told the Detroit News that Ford's research showed parents would be more likely to let teens use their vehicles with My Key. If it gets them the car more often, the number of teens objecting drops by nearly half. Of course, since a My Key crack will be available on the web about three minutes after the first one hits the showroom floor, we're pretty sure most teens aren't sweating the idea too much. In the meantime, the new feature seems like a smart way for Ford to score sales consideration points with the parents actually doing the car buying. Press release follows.

DEARBORN, Mich., Oct. 6, 2008 – Ford Motor Company is introducing an innovative new technology – called MyKey – designed to help parents encourage their teen-agers to drive safer and more fuel efficiently, and increase safety-belt usage.

Ford's MyKey feature – which debuts next year as standard equipment on the 2010 Focus coupe and will quickly become standard on many other Ford, Lincoln and Mercury models – allows owners to program a key that can limit the vehicle's top speed and audio volume. MyKey also encourages safety-belt usage, provides earlier low-fuel warnings and can be programmed to sound chimes at 45, 55 and 65 miles per hour.

"Ford not only offers industry-leading crash protection and crash avoidance systems, we also are committed to developing new technologies such as MyKey that encourage safer driving behavior," said Susan Cischke, Ford group vice president of Sustainability, Environment and Safety Engineering. "MyKey can help promote safer driving, particularly among teens, by encouraging seat belt use, limiting speed and reducing distractions."

MyKey is appealing to parents of teen drivers, including 75 percent who like the speed-limiting feature, 72 percent who like the more insistent safety-belt reminder, and 63 percent who like the audio limit feature, according to a recent Harris Interactive Survey conducted for Ford.

About 50 percent of those who would consider purchasing MyKey also said they would allow their children to use the family vehicle more often if it were equipped with the new technology. The added seat time can help teens build their driving skills in a more controlled setting, complementing graduated licensing laws that give young drivers more driving freedom as they get older.

More than half of parents surveyed worry that their teen-age children are driving at unsafe speeds, talking on hand-held cell phones or texting while driving, or otherwise driving distracted. More than a third of parents also are concerned that their teens do not always buckle their safety belts when driving.

According to the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), teens are more likely to take risks such as speeding – a contributing factor in 30 percent of all fatal crashes. Teens also are less likely to wear safety belts than older drivers.

Teens surveyed by Harris said they are largely open to MyKey if it means they will have more freedom to drive. Initially, 67 percent of teens polled said they wouldn't want MyKey features. However, if using MyKey would lead to greater driving privileges, only 36 percent would object to the technology.

"We've upgraded an existing, proven technology – the SecuriLock passive anti-theft system – with some simple software upgrades to develop a new unique feature that we believe will resonate with customers," said Jim Buczkowski, director, Electrical and Electronic Systems Engineering – the same team that developed SYNC in partnership with Microsoft. "We also developed MyKey's functions in such a way to quickly spread it across multiple vehicle lines, giving us the ability to go mass market in the spirit of other Ford innovations such as safety belts, stability control and SYNC."

Holding the key

The MyKey system allows the parent to program any key through the vehicle message center, which updates the SecuriLock™ passive anti-theft system. When the MyKey is inserted into the ignition, the system reads the transponder chip in the key and immediately identifies the MyKey code, which enables certain default driving modes, including:

* Persistent Ford Beltminder™ with audio mute. Ford's Beltminder system typically provides a six-second reminder chime every minute for five minutes. With MyKey, the Beltminder chime continues at the regular interval and the audio system is muted until the safety belt is buckled. A message center display "Buckle Up to Unmute Radio" also appears on the instrument cluster.

* Earlier low-fuel warning. Rather than a warning at 50 miles to empty, MyKey provides a warning at 75 miles to empty.

* If MyKey is in the ignition, features such as Park Aid and BLISTM (Blind Spot Information System) with Cross Traffic Alert cannot be deactivated.

Additional MyKey features that can be programmed through the vehicle's message center setup menu:

* Limited top speed of 80 mph
* Traction control system, that limits tire spin, cannot be deactivated
* Limited audio volume to 44 percent of total volume
* A speed alert chime at 45, 55 or 65 mph

Using MyKey to teach teens to avoid speeding can provide an added benefit – improved fuel economy. Ford research shows that driving 55 mph instead of 65 mph consumes 15 percent less fuel, and mastering other eco-driving habits such as avoiding jackrabbit starts and excessive idling can help improve fuel economy by more than 50 percent.

Safety is the key

MyKey is just one way that Ford is helping teens drive more safely. Ford Motor Company Fund's Driving Skills for Life (DSFL) program helps young motorists master four critical driving skills – hazard recognition, vehicle handling, space management, and speed management – that help address the majority of dangerous driving conditions. More than 3,000 teens have participated in DSFL ride-and-drive events. And more than 500,000 people have used the training course since 2003 on www.drivingskillsforlife.com.

[Ford via Detroit News]

Tokyo — TOYOTA MOTOR CORPORATION (TMC) announced today that it has developed an SRS (Supplemental Restraint System) rear window curtain shield airbag—the world's first*—to protect rear passengers' heads in the event of a rear-end collision.

The innovative airbag deploys from the roof lining above the rear window in the form of a curtain-like barrier. Together with the headrests, the airbag minimizes impact to the head from a colliding vehicle or parts of the hit vehicle, thus helping to reduce the severity of injuries. Its use in the soon-to-be launched "iQ" ultra-compact four-seater is expected to approximately double the car's rear passenger head protection performance.

TMC has continued to actively develop and make available its collision safety technologies—resulting in such achievements as the swift market introduction of SRS curtain shield and knee airbags—to enable its vehicles to better respond to a greater range of accidents.

As a part of its efforts to realize sustainable mobility, Toyota intends to strengthen its traffic safety initiatives in the future through: 1) the development of even safer vehicles and technologies, 2) participation in the creation of a safe traffic environment and 3) activities designed to educate people on traffic safety, thereby contributing to the complete elimination of traffic casualties, which can be viewed as the ultimate hope of a society that values mobility.

[Toyota via Detroit News]