Driving in LA is a strange mix of sitting still in hellish traffic and driving flat out on the best roads in the world. Get on one of the highways at the wrong time and it’ll take you three hours to go 30 miles, but hit the canyon roads to the North or East and it’s easy to forget that you’re within mere miles of the most populous metropolitan area in the country. The G8 GXP excels in both environments.

In the city it’s easy to drive and comfortable, belying the potential of its performance. LA’s rutted concrete highways and constant construction fail to upset the suspension or disturb the peace of the quiet interior. Keep it below 3,000 RPM and, with the aid of its anonymous styling, you’ll probably avoid speeding tickets too.

But after four days spent trying to keep my temper in check in traffic it was time to head for the hills. More specifically Deer Creek Road in Malibu. Mostly first and second gear hairpins with no guardrails and 500-foot drops into rocky gorges, it’s not the kind of place you’d typically want to drive a traditional GM product. But it is the kind of place you’ll want to drive this GXP.

This isn’t just some overpowered muscle car, the GXP can seriously handle. Throw it into a sharp corner and it’ll hold its line tightly without even a hint of understeer; pushing the tail wide on exit with the immense torque before rocketing down the short straights. Nothing in here feels wallowy; instead the overall impression is of lithe performance.

That’s thanks to lower, stiffer FE3 suspension over the 2008 Pontiac GT’s FE2 setup. GM tuned the handling, as is the fashion these days, on the Nurburgring, where the engineering team set an unofficial fastest time of 8 minutes and 30 seconds. That’s a similar suspension setup to the CTS-V, with which the GXP also shares its Brembo front brake calipers and Tremec 6060 6-speed.

Of course, the GXP isn’t all perfect. It doesn’t have SatNav (based on an Aussie-market Holden, the screen violates some pointless US angle regulation and the G8 is too small a production run to reengineer the interior) and the interior isn’t up to the standard of contemporary European or Japanese competitors. But with an estimated MSRP of $37,000 (excluding gas guzzler tax and destination, figure $40k to drive it off a lot) we’re prepared to forgive those foibles and instead concentrate on the performance: 0-60 comes in 4.7 seconds and it’ll run the quarter in 13.0 seconds at 108mph. All while carrying five people and plenty of their luggage in comfort. Fuel mileage is estimated to be 14 MPG city, 20 highway.

So where does BMW come into this? There was a time when — before exclusively focusing on overweight, overcomplicated, boring-to-drive, ugly cars — that it produced vehicles that rightfully deserved the “Ultimate Driving Machine” title. They were simple, well-engineered and put driving first. They had solid, well-built black plastic interiors, manual transmissions and pretty big engines driving only the rear wheels. They don’t any more. They used to combine practicality with fun in just the right proportions. They don’t any more. This Pontiac does. So do the Cadillac CTS, the CTS-V, the G8 GT, the Corvette and the best car in the world, the ZR1. But, unlike even the old BMW, all of the above are, for their classes, very affordable. GM isn’t just the new BMW; it’s better than that.

This review has to come with a slight disclaimer. The G8 GXP is scheduled to go on-sale in February. At this point, we don’t know for certain if GM will still be in business then. I’m not of the opinion that GM and its counterparts are the wisest place to invest our tax money, nor do I entirely believe their apocalyptic forecasts of job losses and economic collapse should we allow them to go out of business. I'm wearing my Save GM T-Shirt for one reason and one reason only: If they're going to keep making cars like this, I really want to keep driving them.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: Yes
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: Yes
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes
Very Serious Businessmen: Yes
Sheiklets: No

Also Consider:
• BMW 5-Series
• Mercedes E-Class
• Audi A6
• Lexus GS
• Infiniti G35
• Rover SD1

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Jaguar
• Model year: 2009
• Base Price: $49,975
• Price as Tested: $55,975
• Engine type: 4.2-liter DOHC V8
• Horsepower: 300 @ 6000 RPM
• Torque: 310 @ 4100 RPM
• Transmission: 6-Speed Automatic
• Curb Weight: 4,017 LB
• LxWxH: 195.3" x 80.8" x 57.5
• Wheelbase: 114.5"
• Tires: 245/40 19
• 0-60: 6.2 secs
• Top speed: 121 MPH (limited)
• 1/4 mile: N/A
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 16/25 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

Photo Credit: Dean Chandler / Ray Wert

Also See:
• 2009 Jaguar XF, Part One
• 2009 Jaguar XF, Part Two

Acceleration: ***
The 4.2-liter, 300 HP V8 feels great to use, but isn’t ultimately that fast. 60 comes up in 6.1 seconds, but feels faster due to the stateliness evoked by the sound, weight transfer and smooth, linear feel. For $62,975 you can get 120 HP extra with the aid of a supercharger.

Braking: ****
No complaints here, the 12.83-inch discs on all four corners haul the XF up without issues and the ABS doesn’t intrude unnecessarily early. Solid pedal feel leads to great confidence in the system’s ability.

Ride: ****
Extremely compliant, especially given our tester’s 19-inch wheels. A standard fitment on the $55,975 Premium model seen here, those wheels look great, but we can’t help but feel the ride would benefit from the less-fashionable 18s. The XF feels big, heavy and smooth, without feeling underdamped. The XF’s biggest success.

Handling: ***
Treat the XF like a luxury car and you’ll be surprised by how well it handles. The variable ratio steering is vague on center, but full of feel once you turn into a corner, inspiring confidence. At a medium pace it feels incredibly capable, showing off the XF's use of the same suspension set-up as the XK coupe, but push harder and you'll find the suspension can't handle the added heft, as the mid-sized Jag begins to wallow. For drivers looking for a fast luxury car, this won’t be an issue, but those looking for a luxurious sports car will be disappointed.

Gearbox: ****
Leave the rotary gear selector in Sport mode and you’ll be rewarded with a responsive six-speed automatic transmission that holds gears just the right amount of time. Use the paddles and, for an automatic, you’ll get fast shifts and the ability to hold the gear of your choosing to the redline. Just don’t shift down into first gear manually, it's laggy and with a noticeable lurch that will upset passengers. Regular old Drive mode is less responsive and shifts up way too early, rendering itself purposeless for anything other than increasing fuel economy but seeing as you paid for the car, you really shouldn't puss out on the gas.

Audio: ****
The optional Bowers & Wilkins 13-speaker surround sound system sounds great, but the touch screen interface is unintuitive. The subwoofer is unnecessary and boomy if turned up past the standard setting. An iPod connection via USB and 6-CD in-dash changer round out an impressive package.

Toys: ***
We just don’t want a Jag to be this gimmicky. What its makers intend to be surprise and delight features — the rotary gear knob, the proximity sensor glove box button, the swiveling air vents, and the glows-like-a-heart-beat starter button — abound, but are poorly executed. The gear selector feels cheap and unrewarding to use, with too much slack. Oil damping would really help it. The proximity sensor glove box release only works when it wants to. The swiveling air vents are annoying. The lighting, however, is some of the best we’ve seen.

Value: ***
The $49,975 base price is in line with competitors like the BMW 535i and Audi A6 4.2. If you want a unique mid-size luxury car that’s not made in Germany, and not yet made in India, it’s a good choice, but probably not as solid of a long term option as a Lexus GS, which comes in about $5,000 cheaper.

Overall: ***
The XF ends up almost being an also-ran in one of the most hotly contested classes. It’s not the fastest, the best looking or the best value mid-size luxury sedan, but if you catch the XF on a good day, when it’s looking more Aston than Dodge, it’s a uniquely appealing proposition. It’s not as luxurious, nor as sporty as we’d want a Jaguar to be, hopefully new owner Tata is prepared to invest in some serious R&D for its replacement.

Also See:

• 2009 Jaguar XF, Part One
  

Since network television hasn’t been able to come up with a show that’s equally universal in its blandness or equally inoffensive in its humor since it went off-air in 1998, Seinfeld reruns can be seen at any given time on at least two channels — a kind of comedy bookend to the Law & Order probability theory. So I probably don’t need remind you who the pretty/ugly girl is, but just for posterity’s sake: she’s a girl Jerry dates that, depending on the angle of lighting, is either really pretty or really ugly.

And that’s exactly the case with this mid-size Jag. During my weekly escape to my Fortress of Solitude in the Pennsylvania mountains, I couldn’t have been happier with the XF. Driving there late on a Friday evening, the view over its bulged bonnet evoked a sense of immense power backed up by the 4.2-liter V8’s 310 lb-ft of torque. Inside, the glow of the classy instruments and warm dash evoked old-world luxury.

Both the power and the luxury were backed up on the outside too. People turned to look, but not in the bitter way that I’ve grown used to in flashier cars. From the rear, the XF looked like a four-door Aston Martin, from the front, like a modern take on the original 1968 XJ; the whole thing was classy and understated. I felt like visiting royalty.

All of this was carried over to the drive as well. Swooping along the freshly repaved mountain roads in manual mode, the XF felt like a Bentley: big, heavy, powerful and smooth. The steering, which was vague on the highway, firmed up on turn-in, resulting in surprising agility. Pushed, the V8 sounded like an Aston (it should: Jag and Aston use tweaked versions of the same engine), resulting in a rewarding drive that blended clubhouse luxury with performance in a way that only the English know how to do.

And then the lighting changed.

I don’t think Seinfeld had either the ability or vision to go this deep with its characters, but to me, the pretty/ugly girl represents more than just looks; it also represents the duality of both personality and attraction. Certain settings and certain people act like fun-house mirrors, altering your perception of someone’s appeal in a way that goes beyond looks. Take the sexy girl from last night’s party to breakfast, and all of a sudden her pouting lips and willing personality transform into a leathery face and abject stupidity.

Back in dirty, nasty Brooklyn, the XF’s lithe looks were just a memory, replaced with something Ray describes as “Dodge Intrepid.” Personally, I think it looks more like an Infinity I30, but all of a sudden, any hint of classic Aston or Jag is gone.

So too is the luxurious interior. In the light of day, the occasionally suspect materials, poor control damping and cheap leather seats grab your attention more than the gimmicky transmission and soft blue mood lighting do.

Out too is the imperious driving ability, replaced with something that feels distinctly Ford-like. Driving to Jalopnik’s top-secret test track through Brooklyn traffic, the well-weighted steering is suddenly ponderously slow instead. Once there, with the ability to push the car to its limits, the XF just feels ponderous, only reluctantly transitioning to oversteer, even with all the 300 horses feeding into the rear tires.

All of this just leaves us really confused about the XF. Is it the contemporary upper-class English muscle car it wants to be or the wallowy, cheap imitator it felt like right before we gave it back? Like the pretty/ugly girl, it’s probably both, depending on its environment; able to either flatter or offend. And like Jerry Seinfeld, that’s not what we’re looking for. We’re too picky to settle for occasional beauty; we want a driving experience we know will be there no matter what the lighting.

Acceleration: ***
The 360 HP from the 4.8-liter V8 certainly isn't disappointing, but you won't be wowed by it either. That's not to say anything bad about the engine, it's just the car it's been fitted to — weighing in at 4552 lb — is massive. Of course, this is all relatively speaking, because you still have more straight-line punch than any limo this side of a Presidential motorcade has a right to.

Braking: ***
Nothing you wouldn't expect here. The brakes work well, but then this is a huge car, so they'd better. Though our car had developed a bit of a squeal, it was probably from flipping so many tricks during its life as a press car.

Ride: ***
Compromising the ride for the sake of more involved handling would have been excusable in a standard-length 750i. But in the limoized 750Li, ride should take a bit more precedence. Perhaps my gripes would have been addressed if the car simply had thicker rubber on smaller wheels, but the suspension itself felt like it should have been more compliant.

Handling: ***
There's no doubt BMW knows how to make a car handle well. That said, trying to give it extra sporting credentials by fitting huge rims and low-profile tires seems rather silly. This is no sports sedan. It's a massive car from every angle, and you're really not going to be pitching its extended wheelbase sideways going around corners. That weight that you're constantly reminded of on tighter turns translates to a very planted sensation on high-speed expressway ramps. Just don’t mention low-speed corners — the gimmicky variable-ratio steering and long wheelbase combine to ruin those for the big 7-series.

Gearbox: **
The six-speed automatic transmission operates smoothly in normal mode, perfect for normal driving. Switch it to sport mode and it holds gears a bit longer and becomes a tad bit annoying. But whatever you do, please do not put the gearbox in manual mode unless you're in a completely confined area where nobody can see you make a fool out of yourself. Even after a week with the car, I was constantly upshifting when I wanted to downshift and downshifting when I wanted to upshift. Of course, that was after spending an entire afternoon looking for the downshift buttons on the back of the wheel in the first place...or were those the upshift buttons?

Audio: ****
As you'd expect from an optional $1800 "premium sound package," the audio system sounds quite nice. However, the price doesn't include the extra $600 you'll pay for Sirius, and the $350 for the HD radio tuner. There's also an auxiliary jack for your MP3 player. But despite all this, the car shows its age by having an obsession with CDs. There's an in-dash disc player, an additional pop-out CD changer, and a complicated disc holder that wastes space in the center console.

Toys: *****
Luxury used to be about keeping the occupants as calm as possible. Now, luxury has become synonymous with keeping everyone in the car as busy as possible. The 7-Series excels here. Obviously, there's the iDrive system, which by itself will keep you plenty busy. Then there's the $2200 night vision system, which is useless since it doesn't use a heads-up projection, instead displaying in the dash on the main screen. Combined with the $2400 active cruise control radar, which brakes for you in emergencies, you might be able to get away with just driving around with your HID lights turned off. The best toys on this car are the five power-operated sunshades for the back seat passengers. You get one for each side, a tiny one for each quarter window, and a big one for the rear. Of course, you've got your standard heated seats front and rear too.

Value: *
Cars like this suffer massive depreciation, so next to used examples just a year or two old, new ones simply don’t represent good value. With the all-new 2009 7-series just around the corner, if you really must have a new one, it probably makes sense to wait for that.

Overall: **
The 2008 7-series isn’t a bad car; you just know that BMW knows how to build something better. The range-topping model for the entire company, it should be the ultimate expression of everything BMW is capable of. Instead it represents everything that’s wrong in Bavaria. The company wanted to challenge its customers with this car, and it has, but it’s failed to offer them a reward for the effort they put in. The Ultimate Driving Machine should be all about reward, but here, it’s all about frustration.

Also See:
• 2008 BMW 750Li, Part One
• 2008 BMW 750Li, Part Three

The challenge that BMW presented to the market came on two fronts: the exterior and the interior.

The exterior is to blame for most of the 7-series’ criticism. Here, toned down since 2006, the ultimate production vehicle expression of Bangle’s “Flame Surfacing” design ethos looks much less radical, than it did seven years ago. Always a well-proportioned car, it attacked those basic building blocks with antagonistic, concave lines that upset the eye as it flowed along the car. The result is a both strangely emotive yet cold and precise, perverting the traditional feminine grace associated with car design into something that’s more David Cronenborg than Robert Zemeckis. Today, the 750Li looks utterly distinctive, aloof and elitist; all qualities other designers of expensive cars seek to imitate both in concept and in detail. You don’t look at the car and think “beautiful.” But if you think about it, you think “perversely attractive." Challenge met.

The interior also proved controversial, but for one reason alone: iDrive. Possibly the worst executed best idea ever to find its way into a car, the original version of iDrive never worked like it should. Intended to eliminate the huge number of buttons necessitated by the ever-increasing number of in-car gadgets, it sought to provide one easy and intuitive interface for all of the vehicle’s secondary functions. This 750Li features the second, but not latest revision of the system, which is only marginally less frustrating than the original. We’ve experienced that latest system and are please to report that it finally works as promised and is probably our favorite of the current vehicle-bound human machine interfaces. But the 2nd gen in this 750Li lacks the separate Menu button and simplified four-way movement. If you owned the car, you’d figure it out eventually, but you’d never be happy about it. Strangely though, it’s the least of the interior’s problems.

After dropping Ben off at his house one night, Wes climbed out of the front, where he’d been riding, and into the back, where he preferred to be chauffeured when Ben wasn’t there to make fun of him. On the plus side, it meant I didn’t have to talk to him, but it did make us look like even bigger idiots when we got stuck half way across the parking lot, blocking traffic. I’d inadvertently triggered the electric parking brake during a three-point turn. But lacking any indication that I’d done so, then immediately frustrated by the counter-intuitive gear lever, I couldn’t figure out how to make the car move forward. Several minutes and at least three windscreen washes later — the lever for that is identical to the gear lever, and is located in an identical place — I managed to figure out the problem and begin the long journey to Wes’s hotel.

With a freshly cleaned view of Detroit’s night time roads ahead of me, the 367 HP, 4.8-liter V8 made quick work of the on ramp and cruised effortlessly on the highway, as any big BMW should. Problems arrived on the off-ramp 30 miles later though, the variable ratio steering switching from tight for speed to loose for maneuvering unexpectedly, so turning the feel-free wheel what I guessed was the appropriate amount nearly had us running off the road. Nor did it cope with the corner well, the 5.5” extended wheelbase eliminating the 7-series’ credentials as a driver’s car.

That long wheelbase makes for an incredibly spacious back seat, but that back seat is where the 750Li’s ability to cosset its passengers ends. The suspension is still tuned for driving, meaning too many of Michigan’s concrete expansion joints make their way up through the big wheels and into the cabin for Wes to have a truly relaxed experience (yes, he complained about it too).

Nor is the driver’s seat a relaxing place to be. iDrive, despite its noble intentions, does very little to eliminate overcomplication from the 7-series’ interior. Not only is it impossible to adjust your seat (there are four buttons arranged in a seat shape on the center console, controlled by a knob that twists, clicks and pushes in multiple directions) but things that you use frequently, liked the indicators, don’t work like they should, if at all. If you drive multiple cars — as we’d assume any 7-series owner would — you’ll find yourself constantly signaling instead of canceling. From the outside, you must look like a drunk driver, swerving all over the road, looking for buttons and levers, indicating merrily all the while in the opposite direction of travel.

We eventually arrived back at the hotel tired, frustrated and relieved to be out of the car safely, having managed to avoid hitting anyone, anything, or being taken to the loony bin for erratic driving. If this doesn’t sound like an experience you’d associate with luxury, then you’re not alone. The next day, climbing into my ancient 633CSi, complete with non-functional air conditioning and a broken rear quarter window, I was able to make the long drive home relaxed in the knowledge that my car would do what I told it. I may not have looked aloof or elite, but at least I was comfortable in its manually adjusted seat.

BMW designed this 7-series to make us think. And it does — that we want a car capable of both cosseting its passengers and rewarding its drivers rather than punishing both. At this price level, in this class, that car isn’t currently available. Let’s hope that with the 2009 BMW 7-series, it will be.

Also See:
• 2008 BMW 750Li, Part Two
• 2008 BMW 750Li, Part Three

Climbing into the CTS-V in New York’s northern suburbs, I was on a high. Just one week previously, I’d spent the day lapping GM’s Milford Proving Grounds in the best car ever made, the 2009 Corvette ZR1. The CTS-V promised to be more of the same; it uses a similar 6.2-liter supercharged engine, but here making a not-quite-as-ridiculous 551 lb-ft and 556 HP (to the ZR1’s 604 LB-FT and 638 HP). Also present are similar electromagnetically controlled shocks, promising both a smooth ride and, more importantly, mind-bending handling. Those numbers lead to a 0-60 time of just 3.9 seconds, that 191 MPH top speed for the manual transmission version (the only model I drove) and combine with that suspension to deliver a ‘Ring time of 7:59.32, making it the fastest production sedan in the world.

My ability to restrain my inner demons lasted all the way from White Plains across the Tappan Zee Bridge, a notoriously poorly assembled pile of broken concrete and steel plates that masquerades as the main route over the Hudson north of the city. Cruising down the right lane of the congested highway during rush hour, trying hard to preserve both my license and my life while dicing with trucks and crazy bitches from New Jersey, there’s little to indicate the CTS-V’s potential. The engine is quiet, the Tremec six-speed is smooth and the dual-plate clutch (similar to the ZR1’s) is light. The ride’s also seriously impressive; I prefer the controlled-but-firm nature of European performance car suspensions over the soft and squishy nature of most American cars. And the CTS-V satisfies my Euro snobbery not just with its suspension, but in the interior too. In V trim it gains glossy piano-black highlights, supportive and comfy suede Recaros, a suede steering wheel and a suede gear lever. Know how awkward most current BMW interiors are and how cheap most current Mercedes feel? The CTS-V is better. Seriously. I never thought I’d say that about a Cadillac.

Of course, all this only remains a factor if you’re driving slowly. Shift down a gear, switch the suspension into Sport mode, turn off the traction control and switch Stability to “Competitive mode” and you’re ready to drive fast. There aren't many passing opportunities along Route 9 West, but with ridiculous amounts of power and torque everywhere, that rapidly ceases to be a problem. Views of the Hudson over my right shoulder disappear as speed focuses my vision into a tunnel. Driving the CTS-V fast, on the road, you rapidly forget that you’re driving a big luxury car. Its movements are precise, yet untroubled by cracked pavement or pot holes. Hit one at speed while cornering and it scarcely upsets the car, never once punting it sideways. That I can say this about a car that will light the rear tires up merely by flooring the throttle in fourth gear is kind of mind-boggling.

Later in the day, out on the track, the rev limiter ceases to be an issue. Here, free to concentrate on your own driving instead of others’, it’s easier to keep the big engine in the middle of its torque curve, which peaks at just 3,800 RPM. The power becomes almost secondary to the cornering, which at high speed is controlled and grippy, while slower corners move the balance over to sideways. Compared to the ZR1, The CTS-V has to carry 836 LB more through the corners on narrower versions of the Michelin PS2s. Prone to initial understeer, it only takes some right foot to step the tail out into a controllable slide, so the experience is somewhat less controlled than driving a ZR1, and a fair bit slower, but equally fun in its own unique way. Cadillac had to order me out of the CTS-V at the end of the day, after four hours of continuous lapping.

By now, you’ve probably guessed that I really, really enjoyed driving the Cadillac CTS-V. It offers a new level of capability for performance sedans on the track, but especially on the road. In both environments it’s amazing fast, but also exploitable. Think of it as a ZR1 that you can drive people around in, that looks way classier and that you’ll actually be able to push to its limits, and you won’t be far off. Cadillac inevitably compares it to cars like the BMW M5 and Mercedes E63 AMG, but starting at “around $60,000” it’s considerably cheaper; with a 0-60 time of 3.9 seconds it’s considerably faster and it’s also considerably more involving. I’d compare it to the more closely priced BMW M3 Sedan, which may have a slight edge on precision, but is also shy 142 HP and 256 lb-ft, while the CTS-V only weighs 474 pounds more. With this car and the ZR1, General Motors now makes two of the fastest, most exciting and just plain best performance cars. Ever. And yes, the 2009 Cadillac CTS-V does epic burnouts, too.

Driving sucks in New York. Not only are the roads pot-holed, third-world battlefields, but local drivers treat them as such, doing everything possible to kill their fellow commuters. All this is made worse by the cops; their numbers swollen post-9/11, they prowl the streets like sharks, looking for anyone that stands out to punish with the full force of the law. You'd think driving a bright red Evo here would be a bad idea, but the thing is, it's not.

In MR trim, the Evo gains sound deadening, higher-quality suspension and bunch of toys like a decent stereo and satellite navigation. Then there's the gearbox. Called Twin-Clutch SST, it's Mitsubishi's version of a dual-clutch automated manual, and it's probably the best I've ever used.

Those features combine to create a car that's smooth-riding, well-controlled, quiet inside and that makes carving through gaps in heavy traffic completely fuss-free. None of that should sacrifice performance, while the suspension and gearbox will actually work to improve it.

Swipe the shifter that looks like it belongs in a manual over to the left, and you're in full-manual mode. No computerized brain tells it when to shift, leaving you in complete control. Well, at least once you've pulled away. The lack of a clutch to dump keeps take-off (and attempted donuts) wheelspin-free while high-rev launches require the use of a special launch control only available in Super-Sport automatic mode. Shifts are immediate and come when called for, never once beeping in protest instead of delivering the downshift required.

Cruising along slowly through the overcrowded suburban roadways, the MR's promise is ever-present in its immediate direction changes and ability to leap out of merge lanes. Its classier, toned-down looks don't draw attention the way the carbon-clad Evo IX I pass does, maybe due to the proliferation of down-market models like the Ralliart that share near-identical body addenda. The rear wing remains huge, but too many wannabes mean that, now, wings no longer signify performance. Cops we pass hardly take a second glance, more upset by Mitsubishi's manufacturer plate than the car's intent to speed.

Inside the MR you feel like an escaped convict, the car's promised performance making itself evident through the aggressive shifting, fierce acceleration and immediate responsiveness, but conveying those experiences in a manner that's positively refined. Cover up the plasticky interior, and this combination could spell M3.

It's really hard to write a remarkable review about an unremarkable drive. But maybe that's the most remarkable thing about the MR. Not only did it make the shittiest roads in the world tolerable, but it did so in a package supposedly capable of rivaling cars like the Porsche 911 GT3 RS or Ferrari F430 once the going gets more glamorous. To that ability I can't attest, but stuck in rush hour, I know which car I'd rather be in, and I'm excited about the possibility of owning a car of this caliber that's equally capable in the everyday grind. 

Photography: Björn Schütrumpf

Also Consider:
• Ford Mustang Shelby GT500
• Pontiac G8 GXP
• E39 BMW M5
• Hunting Polar Bears

Suitability Parameters:
· Speed Merchants: Yes
· Fashion Victims: No
· Treehuggers: No
· Mack Daddies: Yes
· Tuner Crowd: No
· Hairdressers: No
· Penny Pinchers: No
· Euro Snobs: No
· Working Stiffs: No
· Technogeeks: No
· Poseurs: No
· Soccer Moms: No
· Nascar Dads: Yes
· Golfing Grandparents: No

Vitals:
· Manufacturer: Dodge
· Model tested: Charger SRT8
· Model year: 2008
· Base Price: $40,015
· Price as Tested: $41,250
· Engine type: 6.1-Liter SRT HEMI SMPI V8 Engine
· Horsepower: 425 hp @ 6000 rpm
· Torque: 420 ft.-lbs. @ 4800 rpm
· Redline: 6000 rpm
· Wheels and Tires: Goodyear Eagle RSA 245/45ZR20 (front) 255/45ZR20 (rear)
· Drive type: rear-wheel drive
· 0 - 60: 5.4 seconds
· 1/4 mile: 13.6 seconds
· Top speed: 165 MPH
· Fuel economy city/highway: 13/18
· NHTSA crash test rating front/side/rollover: 5/5/4

Also See:
2008 Dodge Charger SRT8, Part One
2008 Dodge Charger SRT8, Part Two

Photo credit to Fabrizio Constantini and Alex Conley

Acceleration: ****
What you get depends on whether the car is in Dr. Jekyll or Mr. Hyde mode. Normal acceleration in "Drive" registered 5.47 seconds to 60 on the computer. Not bad, but it felt hollow. Even though we were never able to best it when tapping the shifter manually, there's a certain satisfaction to wringing the big Hemi all the way out to its redline. Gunning it in this car means managing wheel spin, holding on for dear life and trying to wipe that stupid smirk off your face after you're all done

Braking: ****
Brembos. Big ones. And solid ABS software to back them up. With 4100 lbs of bulk, this thing scrubs speed as if an anchor from the Titanic was dropped off the stern. Best be buckled tight, or you'll get well acquainted with the steering wheel, ya land-lubber.

Ride: ***
Ride and handling, to our minds, are interlocked elements. If the ride is harsh, the handling better be damn good, and true for the opposite. Unfortunately here, the ride wins while the handling suffers. Considering the huge 20" wheels on the front and back of the Charger, the control exhibited on compression and rebound is respectable. We did notice quite a bit of noise from the suspension on the nasty stuff, but it was quickly muted by the more-than-ample shocks.

Handling: **
Yarg. Where to begin? It rolls like a low-level patsy ratting out a mob boss. High-speed corners are met with predictable, if not frightening, understeer. Pop it into 'no nanny' mode and you can turn the rear end around like a cocktail waitress at a Dean Martin convention.

Gearbox: **
Possibly the most embarrassing part of the car. If this tranny was in a family of upstate Oregon counterfeiters, they'd hide it in the basement, chained to the wall and fed only fish heads Goonies-style. It's the biggest weakness on the Charger; its greatest shame. But slapping it into manual mode lets you pretend like you're a big boy.

Audio: ***
It's an SRT product. If you have to rely on the Kicker sound system to entertain you, you're doing it wrong. During my time with the car, the most use I got out of the radio was it telling me where the traffic jams were so I could work my way around them.

Toys: ****
It's loaded. If you're a middle-management type with the requisite wife and two-point-five kids, this car will be magically delicious. The brain-maiming Sirius satellite TV is perfect for keeping those accidents of yours occupied with hour upon hour of Spongebob Squarepants and Dora the Explorer. Barring that, they can watch their favorite DVDs, all while wearing wireless headphones so you don't have to communicate with them. Even if you don't have kids, the Sirius radio, 0-60 MPH, 1/4 mile, 1/8th mile, and G-metering systems will keep you entertained no matter where you go. We recommend keeping the optional sunroof open during all exercises in reckless acceleration. It makes the evenings that much more exciting

Value: ***
Here I am, making fun of a Chrysler platform (which is like shooting pickles in a jar), and yet I can't help but think this is a fun car. Granted, the mileage is terrible, but it's more than made up for in utility, hoonability, and funulence. Yes, I just made up a word. Just make sure you don't plan on doing any autocrossing while you are in possession of this car or many a cone will meet its tragic end.

Overall: ***
Fun? Yes. Uncouth? Yes. An ego extension - you bet. Is this car for everyone? Absolutely not. The Dodge Charger SRT8 is one of those cars that, at the moment, seems obscene, but when the next malaise era rolls around will be remembered fondly as a pinnacle of automotive ballsiness. It is both great and terrible, brilliant and abhorrent, and the Charger SRT8 is everything we love about American braggadocio.

Also See:
2008 Dodge Charger SRT8, Part One
2008 Dodge Charger SRT8, Part Three

Photo credit to Fabrizio Constantini and Alex Conley

Where to begin? Well, for starters, you can completely disregard Wert's original review of the 2006 Dodge Charger SRT8. That's right, set his overly verbose love-screed aside because the Charger SRT8 is, above all, about testosterone. This is the kind of car that glorifies the years grease-streaked men have spent in dank, dark, sweaty garages squeezing every ounce of power from the profile of an intake cam. Guts this car has got in spades. The engine is a jewel of power and sound. The exhaust note of the big four-door is far more satisfying than the Challengers' more sedate murmurs. Small children cry in its throaty presence; young women faint; even dogs stare.

But engineers scratch their heads and laugh. How in the hell does a 6.1-liter, computer-designed, computer-controlled V8 provide such atrocious fuel mileage? We've managed to eek out 17 miles per gallon when being gentle, and when we call upon the dogs of war — 12. That's right, 12 miles per gallon. And not only that, but why does the transmission feel like it's getting its signals by way of carrier pigeon? In fully automatic mode, shifting feels less an exercise in maximum performance, and more an attempt at plowing mud with with your tires. Shifting it into manual mode, you gain a lot more control and it gets a lot more punchy, thus more fun, but the E-nannies still kick in too early, and the software fails to blip the throttle like Caddy's code does, making shift transitions awkward.

Finally, how did someone sign off on a suspension which makes a 1996 Toyota Corolla feel sporty in comparison? Don't get us wrong, the car is predictable at low speed, and extremely entertaining when you're writing graffiti on the parking lot, but at speed it feels unsettled, jittery, and unpolished in places where the Challenger shines.

The interior is nearly as bewildering as the traction control software. Things start off beautifully with multi-position, leather-clad seats featuring red-contrast stitching, tastefully embroidered SRT8 logos, and a suede-like seating surface. Nice. But then things get weird again. Instead of a purpose-built cockpit, we are faced with a bewildering user interface split between the speedometer and the navigation screen. And whoever thought a rear-seat Sirius satellite kids' TV package would make sense in this car should be rapped across the brow with a baseball bat. The only channels available are Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and the Disney Channel. Should it not be The Death Metal Channel, Car Chase Network and Tire Smoke News Channel? The wide swaths of depression-era gray rubberized plastic on the dash help highlight the failed execution of the art-deco styling in favor of the early-millennium "we phoned it in" school of design.

This is the essential problem with the Charger SRT8. It is both everything you love and everything you hate about American cars all wrapped up in one tough-looking package. It's big and rides smoothly, with plenty of space, lots of luxurious elements, and it's more powerful than stink on a wet mule. But the surprisingly sloppy handling, maddening user controls and tragic transmission make us cry uncle. The car manages to be just controllable enough that you have to be really stupid to get yourself in trouble, but it's powerful enough that if you do, you'll be going down in a blaze of twisted metal and tire smoke — a funeral pyre to the Gods of drag racing.

I would hate the Charger, but it's just so much goddamn fun.

Photo credit:
- Opening photo: Alex Conley, AlexCConley.com
- Gallery: Fabrizio Constantini

Update: For all the readers out there requesting the lead image in wallpaper size, click HERE and your wish will be granted [/cotomer sevis]

Also See:
2008 Dodge Challenger RRT8, Part Two
2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, Part Three

The Ralliart is a hybrid of a different sort. It takes bits and pieces from other Lancer models: The engine is a 2.0 MIVEC straight out of the Evo X but detuned via intake and ECU changes. The exhaust is Evo X. The chassis is Lancer GTS. The hood is Evo X. The AWD system is Evo IX. You get the idea — it's parts-bin engineering, but the good kind. And it trades many of the Evo's all-out race compromises for a larger dose of convenience and comfort.

That's what makes the car interesting to me, more so than some higher-strung alternatives. Why? The Evo is a rocket ship, but I've got a wife and a kid, and I live on a writer's salary. The Ralliart is a Lancer someone like me can justify. And, at a price expected to come in under $27k, one I can afford. Question is, can I live with it?

Not if I want to shift for myself. The Ralliart is saddled — or blessed — depending on how you look at it — with a dual-clutch manumatic as its only gearbox. Mitsubishi calls its system Twin-Clutch SST, and it returns quick, positive shifts. But it's not a 6-speed stick. I'm writing it off in my mind when I remember that sitting in traffic on I-75, this tranny will give me the best of both worlds. A compromise for my station in life. I'll let it slide.

Aside from the paddle shifters, the interior is unremarkable and adequate for anyone used to compact cars. The materials have decent texture, but they're mostly hard plastics with a dull sheen. And, quite unlike some of the compacts we've experienced recently, the doors close with a hollow metallic sound that reminds me of my father's '82 Civic. Yeah, I'm surrounded by airbags, but a little extra metal wouldn't hurt my feelings either.

But boost forgives many sins. The 235hp MIVEC 2.0 is all base Lancer below about 2,800 RPM, after which torque shows up; it's not intrusive, nor is it the dreaded "on/off" turbo switch, but the car subtly changes character. Mitsu lit says that 253 ft-lb is available from 2,500-4,750 RPM — and that's pretty much the only place it's available. Fortunately, the Twin-Clutch SST will happily let you play in that sweet spot all day long. The fat steering wheel, another item borrowed from the Evo X, along with point-and-shoot handling courtesy of AWD and good electronics, makes the car an effortlessly fun toy when you want it to be.

But it doesn't have to be. It's not an Evo, but I can't use a race car. I drive in Detroit, where just about every road is a straight line pockmarked by what looks like an allied bombing campaign. I drive in traffic. I haul stuff home from Costco. With niceties like 60/40 split-fold seats and a trunk uncluttered by the battery, I can accomplish those tasks in the Ralliart.

Mitsubishi's Lancer Ralliart is fun as hell but it doesn't punish you for being a normal Joe. It's the Evo substitute for working stiffs like me who have to drive in the real world. After all, I don't mind compromising, but I don't like to suffer.

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: Yes
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: No
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: Yes
Golfing Grandparents: No

Also Consider:
• Ford Crown Victoria P71
• Chevy Impala 9C1
• '74 Dodge Monaco
• Increasing road safety by encouraging good driving behavior and motorist education instead of focusing on narrow-minded and ineffective speed enforcement

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Dodge
• Model year: 2008
• Base price: $29,160
• Price as tested: $29,740
• Engine type: 5.7-Liter OHV V8
• Horsepower: 340 @ 5000 RPM
• Torque: 390 @ 4000 RPM
• Transmission: 5-Speed Automatic
• Curb weight: 4150 pounds
• LxWxH: 200.1" x 74.5" x 58.2"
• Wheelbase: 120.0"
• Tires: P225/60R18
• 0 - 60 mph: 5.9 seconds
• EPA fuel economy city/highway: 15/23 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: ***** front

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part One
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Two

Acceleration: ****
On paper, 340 HP may not look as impressive today as it once did, but when you stomp on the go pedal and wake up the four Hemi V8 cylinders that were taking a nap to save gas, those horses feel plenty strong indeed. Maximum power from the 5.7-liter mill comes in at 5000 RPM, and 390 lb-ft of torque is cranked out at 4000 RPM. And while it may not be exceedingly loud, the Hemi does provide a snorting soundtrack.

Braking: ***
With ABS and vented discs on all four corners, stopping performance is adequate, especially considering the massive size and weight of the Charger. What's important is the car feels stable and controlled during emergency-stop situations.

Ride: ***
Benefiting from the Mercedes-derived four-wheel-independent suspension, the Police Charger certainly feels better than the softly sprung solid-axle boats of yesteryear. But the sheer size of the car may make you feel a bit like you're in an SUV that's been hunkered down a few inches, though overall the ride is comfortable enough for a day's worth of patrolling.

Handling: **
You don't expect a car like this to go around turns well, and it doesn't. Body roll isn't as bad as some cars, but there's lots of understeer. Even with the traction control off, the car is hard to coax into a powerslide. You'll be fine chasing down a murderer in an Iroc-Z on the expressway, but you'll need to call-in a roadblock to catch a Porsche on a winding back road.

Gearbox: *
There's just something so nostalgically right about a column-shifter in a big American car. The five-speed automatic works fine for normal driving. However, the autostick feature is nearly worthless. Even my small thumbs struggled to properly operate the tiny +/- button for manual shifting.

Audio: *
The bargain basement stereo isn't impressive, though if you're busy listening to your police radio, we imagine it's sufficient.

Toys: **
With no sirens, no radios, and no flashing lights installed, our Charger had nothing to play with. If you want to install all the cop goodies, the Charger's ready to go with an upgraded battery and alternator — and all that would have moved the star rating to the top. Still, the spotlight is fun for making punk teenage drivers squirm night driving on unlit country roads.

Value: ***
Though we hear it all depends on what kind of deal your municipality can strike up, a Hemi-powered Police Charger starts at just over $29,000. That's pretty good if you want a brand new muscle sedan. Though a Ford or Chevy will cost less if you just want a cruiser. That's not even mentioning the endless supply of pre-abused P71 Crown Vics that are practically given away at police auctions.

Overall: ***
The Dodge Charger Police Edition is a squad car with the attitude to intimidate bad guys, and the muscle to run them down. It takes old-school flavor and brings it up-to-date, while retaining the simple charm of a big V8-powered American cruiser. So what do you say? Is it the new Bluesmobile or what?

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part One
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Three

It's got cop tires, a rough n' ready cop suspension and rubber floors. Most importantly, it's got a Hemi under the hood — the big 5.7-liter 345 cubic-inch 'plant. The engine helps this big Dodge make me feel ready for some silver-screen type stunts. Thoughts flash through my mind of arriving at the opposite side of a slightly raised drawbridge at full speed, but unfortunately, the bridge was down — my hopes of truly testing the stout suspension dashed. I'd have to settle for the curbs I'd hopped coming off the expressway to give me a feel for the resiliency of the Chrysler tested and police-approved chassis.

I slide up to see Hardigree wearily checking his watch, anxious to continue our pilgrimage across the city. No, we're not on a mission from God, not looking to reunite a band and save an orphanage. We're here to reunite this car with its spiritual home.

There's something universally menacing about the blacked-out Charger. Yes, anyone on the highway noticing the spot lamp poking out of the driver side A-pillar will move out of your way, but that's true with any decommissioned police car. The Charger, however, has an extra level of attitude, emanating from that strong centerline, the aggressive front grille and those big rear haunches — a truly scary feeling even a blind pianist can sense.

So, as we pull up to the Museum of Science and Industry onto the very familiar footbridge out front, I felt I could scatter Nazi Illini with a greater efficiency than Jake and Elwood ever could with their '74 Monaco.

But if we really want to make this car feel at home, we need to get pulled over. The whole film pivots on an unfortunate encounter with the Illinois State Police, but we'll settle for Chicago PD. Since we'd rather not actually get a ticket, we happen upon a police station and Matt hops out to talk with the sergeant in charge. Though rebuffed officially, one of the officers motions to us he wants to speak with us outside the earshot of his supervisor. Outside, he agrees to help us. He's not pulling us over, just parking behind us — with his flashing lights on — in the middle of the road. Other cops gathered about grumble jealously. "I wish they'd buy us some of these," says our friendly officer.

We bid farewell to The Man and head over to pick up Chicago-style hot dogs from a local stand, consuming them in a parking lot across the street from Wrigley Field. Not quite four fried chickens, but they'll do. Getting back in the Charger, I pull down on the column shifter, noting how different the equipment on this model is compared to the usual creature comforts we all take for granted in most modern cars. For example, no cupholders. But never mind because the floors are rubber, making clean-up simple should I spill something. No cigarette lighter either — true to Blues Brothers form.

Matt and I head downtown, but are disappointed to find neither mounted patrol or National Guard waiting for us. I continue on to Lower Wacker Drive, rolling down the windows and selecting a low gear on the Autostick. The echoing roar of the V8 chases me through the underground street. Even if you're not on a mission from God, you can't help but feel the divine reverberation. Sadly, we only had the car for a few days, and with our time almost up, I had to head back to Michigan.

On my drive back, the jazz station crackling on the radio lulls me into losing track of time, worries, distance, and apparently speed. I guess you can only get pulled over when you don't want to be. "Do you know what I stopped you for?" asks a blindingly bright beam of light in my passenger side window. I've never answered "no" to that question. So, after my quick slick answer, the uniformed man with the inquisitive flashlight goes back to his Crown Vic for a minute. I hope he doesn't have SCMODS. Thankfully, he returns with only a written warning and a guilt trip. "You should feel privileged to drive this car." states the officer. It's true, I should.

Remember that, people: No matter who you are and what you do to live, thrive and survive, there are still some things that make us all the same. You, me, them, everybody... and respect for a police-spec Charger is one of them.

Also see:
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Two
• 2008 Dodge Charger Police Edition, Part Three

Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: Yes
Fashion Victims: No
Treehuggers: No
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: Yes
Hairdressers: No
Penny Pinchers: Yes
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: No
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: No

Also Consider:
• Volkswagen GTI
• Honda Civic SI
• Mazdaspeed3
• Subraru WRX
• Chevy Cobalt SS
• Dodge Caliber SRT-4
• Nissan Sentra SE-R, if you don't think the LSD, larger brakes, red seatbelts, 23 extra horses and stiffer chassis Spec V brings are worth $500.

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Nissan
• Model year: 2008
• Base Price: $20,470
• Price as Tested: $21,660
• Engine type: 2.5-Liter NA I4
• Horsepower: 200 @ 6,600 RPM
• Torque: 180 @ 5,200 RPM
• Transmission: 6-speed Manual
• Curb Weight: 3,048 lbs
• LxWxH: 180.1" x 70.5" x 59.1"
• Wheelbase: 105.7"
• Tires: P225/45WR17
• 0 - 60 mph: 6.7 Seconds
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 21/29 MPG
• NHTSA crash test rating: *****

Also see:
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part One
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part Two

Acceleration: ***
Though the 2.5-liter QR25DE engine doesn't quite relive the turbocharged glory of Nissan's famous SR20DE, it does provide reasonably quick off-the-line performance. Pumping out 200 horsepower and 180 lb-ft of torque, the Sentra achieves a claimed 0-60 mph time of 6.7 seconds, on par with a Cooper S and just ahead of the Civic SI. Also, they fixed the problem that made them burst into flames. Victory!

Braking: ****
The base Sentra still has drum brakes, but the SE-R gets disc brakes at all corners, providing ample stopping while requiring little stomping despite the little sedan's big curb weight of 3,048 pounds. In Spec V trim the massive 12.6" vented front discs bring the party to an end before you have a chance to get your coat.

Ride: ***
Even with the lowered height and sport-tuned shocks there's not the expected rough ride over bumps. It would have been easy for the Nissan engineers to sacrifice a bit of smoothness for improved handling, but they managed to achieve both. While lacking the staccato nature of other cars in this class, I wouldn't perform a bris in the backseat or anything.

Handling: ***
The "V" in Spec V is, presumably, the same as the V in GT-R V Spec, which stands for victory. And given the stiff suspension it isn't unreasonable to believe it could claim victory... against any base model economy car out there. All the 'ring tuning in the world can't change the fact that the Sentra platform puts a priority on space, meaning it requires a bit of effort to fight the laws of physics.

Gearbox: ***
The shifter sits up high on the dash, within easy reach for anyone not sitting on the floor of the car (though drivers that do sit low may have to contend with an awkward angle). Shifts are quick and clutch action is pretty easy. Gear selection is a bit vague, especially when downshifting diagonally from sixth to fourth. Though a bit buzzy, sixth gear still helps the SE-R achieve a respectable 31 mpg highway.

Audio: **
The 340-watt Rockford Fosgate, eight-speaker system has a large display, robust sound and the crucial auxiliary port. This should be a knockout. But they put said port in the dead center of the dash RIGHT ABOVE THE DAMN SHIFTER. If your friend wants to drop that hot new remix from their iPod you're going to have to tell them you'd like to, but you're going to have decline because the choice you have to make is between sweet jamz and shifting gears.

Toys: ***
In addition to the G-meter, the bright orange display will present trip info such as average speed, average fuel economy and trip time. The sunroof isn't really necessary but is large enough to enjoy sunny days. Navigation would have been nice, as well as satellite radio, but HD radio for this class is good enough.

Value: ****
The SE-R Spec V starts at $20,470 with nearly every feature you'd want, including the sport-tuned suspension, 23 horsepower bump over the SE-R and helical limited-slip differential. Though more can be had for a bit more, there's not much that can be had for less. If there's one value complaint I have, it's that it makes the SE-R, at just $600 less, a horrible relative value.

Overall: ***
KRS-One said a real thug is a thug that's hush and the Spec V is pretty hush, certainly even more so in black. Even in its currently ugly state, it's an improvement over the previous generation and, we hope, the sign of better things to come. Performance is on par with cars at the lower end of the sporty-yet-economical segment, but so is the price.

Also see:
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part One
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part Three

Stealth is key in Chicago's underground city as I hoped to avoid attention both from the police and those they've pledged to protect me from. Did anyone know Nissan still makes an SE-R version of the Sentra? Did anyone remember they still make a Sentra? Despite the paint, body kit, spoiler and split five-spoke wheels, the SE-R looks like any other econobox.

Another key to survival here is a car quick enough to keep up with your reflexes. Lower Whacker, the main underground pathway, feels like a Driver's Ed video made real. Delivery trucks and commodity traders late for lunch with the mistress randomly dart out of alleys and into the narrow, concrete-edged roadway. The small Sentra, despite its unimpressive origins, handles itself with impressive poise. The speed-sensitive power steering is so quick I had to pause and remind myself what I was driving, right before my brain turned back on and I narrowly avoided one of the many pieces of construction equipment left, as an obstacle, in my path.

I pulled off onto a side street, only to catch a red near one of the underground city's biggest traps: the transient cartographers. Conventioneers staying at any of the area's finer hotels often get lost down in the catacombs, sometimes never to be found again. These homeless men appear to the misplaced orthodontists, emerging from the ether to offer help. At a price. But I was here to expose secrets and they rely on confusion. I was their sworn enemy.

The red light snapped to green and I put pedal to floor, escaping what could have been a trap. The Sentra's normally aspirated fourbanger springs to life with only a minor squeak of the tires, power instantly available from the high compression engine. Unlike the Caliber SRT4 and MS3 there's no hint of torque steer, meaning there's no chance I'll nick a curb as I delve further into the darkness.

With its thick concrete walls, steel girders and a layout similar to the inside of a church organ, this world beneath worlds tends to amplify sounds. This works to my disadvantage as the SE-R Spec V whines with an unpleasant high-pitch buzz as the needle sweeps across the tach, alerting those in the area. There's no need to slow down, though, as the Sentra absorbs the bumps of uneven concrete competently enough for a souped-up econobox.

I finally make it to the lowest levels of Randolph, hoping to find the market. There are mysterious stairwells, unmarked cop cars and parking garage entrances galore. But no market. Unlike its competitors, the SE-R doesn't even offer navigation as an option, so I've got nothing but my wits to help me find this enchanted locate. And my wits fail me.

Maybe the market closed. Maybe it never existed. Maybe those lurking below the pizza joints and coffee shops were alerted to the presence of a nosey surface dweller and concealed it from view. Of course, even if I'd found it I wouldn't be able to haul that much treasure home. The V-brace in the trunk invalidates the possibility of pass-through storage.

And just like my quest, the Sentra SE-R Spec V doesn't quite measure up to expectations. An unexpectedly enjoyable platform with usable power and predictable handling is somehow ruined by its own gimmicks, namely the dyed-red seatbelts and boost-gauge wannabe G-meter stolen from the Z that both look obnoxious in this sedan.

No worry. Unlike some if its overpowered and oversized competitors, the SE-R isn't a chore to drive in urban areas, making the journey equally as fun as anything I was likely to find. Maybe between here and there is truly better than either here or there.

Also See:
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part Two
• 2008 Nissan Sentra SE-R Spec V, Part Three