Did you look at the '57 Cadillac down on the Alameda street and think "Man, I'd love to get me one of those... but who's got that kind of cash these days?" You could buy a somewhat rough one, but then the cost of parts will keep you poor for years. Don't give up on those Caddy dreams so easily, we say, because we've found a project '57 that comes with a parts car (go here if the ad disappears). Tune out the squawks of those can't-do-ers and never-happen-ers trying to tell you that both of those Cads barely qualify for parts-car status, because: 600 bucks. Really! Just six Benjamins and 9,000 pounds of rust luxury automobile will be all yours! And hey, you stand to make a profit on this deal, according to the seller: "Enough parts to build a complete car, and sell the remaining Vintage Parts to pay for your project, and then some!" You can't lose! Thanks to Scout_II_4x4 in Iraq for the tip!

A '57 Cadillac is a great car... if you're Vito Genovese, heading to the Apalachin Meeting, that is. If you're not a mob boss, however, you might consider heading to Kenosha for your 1957 project. Nash and Hudson joined to form AMC back in '54, so by purchasing this 1957 Nash/1957 Hudson combo (go here if the ad disappears), you'd be able to laugh at those noob Marlin owners who think they've got old AMCs. The seller doesn't think you need to know what models he's selling, but the cars appear to be a Nash Ambassador and a Hudson Hornet sedan. Since both are based on the same platform, you probably won't should be able to swap parts from one to the other with abandon. Just pick the nicest one and get busy! You get two AMC 327 V8s (one conveniently located in the trunk) and both cars are "pretty straight," with the interiors allegedly in good condition. Did we say you could use one as a parts car? Forget that- fix 'em both!

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It goes without saying this one is magical not only for its quirky peachy color, but also the rad textured vinyl on the bench seats, the pristine roof rack carrying a surf board (natch), and oh yeah, the vinyl woody applique. Totally awesome. What a great way to kick off our car coverage for the Dream Cruise.

1) 1909 Peerless Model 19 Touring Car

2) 1941 Willys Coupe Street Rod

3) 1951 Nash Rambler Custom Landau "Roll-Top" Convertible

4) 1967 Porsche 912 Soft Window Targa

5) 1957 Volkswagen Beetle

6) 1974 Chevrolet Camaro IROC Race Car

7) 1974 De Tomaso Pantera L

8) 1958 GMC Series 101 Pickup

9) 1966 Amphicar 770

10) 1959 Fiat Jolly 600

So there you have it, our picks for the crappiest cars up for sale at this year's 2008 Monterey Auctions. We know some of you will think we're heretics for picking a few of these, but by and large these rides just don't cut the mustard when masterpieces like the 1938 Bugatti 57SC Atalante are on the same block. So what do you think? What's the crappiest car of this years auctions? Feel free to fight it out in the space below.

Post publish commentary: Since some of you seem to have checked your sense of humor at the door and consider everything a serious offense to the senses now, I'll go out of my way to make it clear the term "Crappy" is being used in the jocular sense. Perhaps I didn't lay it on thick enough, but the main beef is with the culture of auctioneering driving the prices up on relatively normal cars. I don't think these are crappy, but the multi-million-dollar classic car gold rush is forcing the prices up and the prestige down on otherwise neat, but normal cars.

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You superpatriots might be screaming about the inclusion of a British car in this matchup- especially on a holiday celebrating the day we told our cruel colonial masters to hit the road (thanks for the backup, France!)- but Britain gave us our language, the basis for our legal system, and Top Gear. And come on, how can you not love a car named for its target market? What if Chrysler had made a version of the Dart called the Dodge Deutschland and sold it in Germany? OK, we admit that argument isn't so compelling, but you won't care once you take a look at this '68 Austin America, which is priced to move- though not under its own power- at just $500. The seller wants us to know it's an "easy restoration," and we couldn't agree more! The "motor is not frozen up," the glass is all there, and it's a California car so you get yellow-on-black plates and (maybe) not much rust. It's conceivable- though not likely- that you could get away with buying and shipping just a handful of parts from the UK to finish this project.

That Austin would be fun, but front-wheel-drive from 40 years back is still front-wheel-drive. How could you do good old-fashioned American donuts in the Circle K parking lot without a rear-wheel-drive car? Exactly. That's why a Rambler American, made by the American Motor Company, is the only choice approved by the House Un-American Burnout Activities Committee. If you've got 600 bucks in your pocket (and plenty of welding expertise), this somewhat rusty '60 Rambler American could be yours right now. In stark contrast to the Austin America, the American's engine is seized... but that's no problem, because you'll need to ditch that antique flathead six and replace it with a great big thirsty AMC 401, equipped with a huge tunnel-ram intake and Cherry Bombs. While you're building this engine- which will be the easy part of the project- you can also start fixing the rusted-out floor pan. Don't despair, because at least "all glass, head lights, tail lights all in tact." It can't be that hard, right?

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The Ferrambo may not be the greatest name ever, but it serves up a stout 280 points on the Jalopnik scale, and for good reason. How many other tiny, bright red, two door station wagons with a mid-mounted 3.6 L V8 mill out of a Ferrari 360 Modena have you seen lately? Of Course it's stupidly well built, but the details are really what puts this car over the top. The builders at Divers Street Rods went so far as to swipe the Ferrari text and use it to call out the car's name everywhere it was tastefully necessary. Under hood there is custom fitted leather luggage instead of the original wimpy inline 6. The the seats are custom covered buckets and the rear seats... there are no rear seats, only engine. Here's something really cool, the rear windows rotate about 5 degrees open with the turn of the ignition to provide a little venting for that beastly engine. Yes indeed, Troy Trepanier may have had a cool car with last years winner, First Love, but this year's winner is a hell of a lot more Jalopnik in our book. Divers Street Rods

The 220 was the entry-level Rambler for '65; you could buy a two-door for just $1979. That was $70 cheaper than a Dart 170, but $2 more than a Falcon and $11 more than a Chevy II.


But when you went with the Rambler, you got some cool stuff. Not just the infamous steamy-window-enhancing fold-flat seats, but styling touches like this side mirror.


There's a certain amount of Dart-esque styling to be found here... although one could make the case that Chrysler's designers were influenced by the Rambler's styling.


You got a 90-horse flathead six (yes, a flathead! in 1965!) as the standard powerplant with your American 220, but another $84.95 would get you the 145-horsepower OHV six.

Never mind what the Loverman says about the early Chargers being "frumpy," Chrysler's response to the gauntlet thrown down by the fishy Rambler (OK, fine, it was more a response to the hot-selling GTO) is a fine-looking machine! Break away from the herd of '68-70 B-body drivers and get yourself something like, say, this 1966 Charger! Yes, you're not hallucinating- that's just one grand for a genuine pre-Malaise Dodge Charger! And, of course, with that sweet price comes a few challenges. First of all, the seller seems vague about the mechanical condition, which generally means "Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night will hide the fact that nothing on this car works!" Then you gotta figure there's some serious rust involved, what with this car being from Missouri. Last- but certainly not least- is the lack of any sort of paperwork verifying ownership, so you'll need to do some negotiating with DMV officials who might be somewhat less than understanding about your situation. However, mechanical parts should be quite plentiful (body parts might be more difficult, though some Coronet stuff ought to fit), and imagine the kid-in-candy-store drivetrain choices you'd have! How about a 440 with the aforementioned 6-71, with pistol-grip 4-speed? Or, hell, a Viper V10! It can be done... with enough money and time.

But say even an early Charger is just too mainstream for your taste. Come to think of it, any car from Detroit is too mainstream. Maybe you need a stylish fastback from Kenosha, Wisconsin! How about this 1965 Rambler Marlin? At $2250 it's more than twice the price of the Charger, but it's also more complete. Plus, being a California car, there's not going to be as much rust. However, it's been stored since 1984, which (if it's been outdoors the whole time) means the trunk has probably filled with water every winter, and you can assume that the entire fuel system, all seals, and most electrical connectors are totally garbooned. The seller doesn't say anything about mechanical condition... but then, after 23 years of storage he doesn't need to say anything. The engine is the AMC 327, which isn't a bad engine, but the selection of go-fast parts is limited enough that we recommend the application of 401 cubes of Wisconsin horsepower as Item #1 on your checklist; you can defray a tiny percentage of your cost by selling the 327 to a Rambler fanatic. Restoring the interior... well, it might be a bit hard to find stuff like door panels and trim pieces, but that's what the Internet (and a fat wallet) is all about, right? Just imagine how all those dime-a-dozen Charger drivers will blend into the background as you roar up in your baaaaad Marlin!

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Our first car is a Frankenstein Special out of the Reno area; after its mad-scientist creator shot a man just to watch him die (but before he got sent to Folsom), he stuck a '54 Packard body onto a '72 Buick frame. We don't know what kind of Buick provided the frame, but we do know it has a torque-bomb 455! No, it doesn't run, but according to the seller it just needs some "minor motor work" to roar off into the desert. Does "minor" mean points and plugs, or bad rod bearings? It'll cost you 800 clams to find that out, cowboy!

You say you only buy projects that run right now? This here 1958 Rambler American (suggested by our tipster pal Alex) is the project for you! It just needs some interior work. Uh, and some exterior work, too. But so what? It runs, and it's got a pushbutton shifter to boot! And fins! There's a bit of confusion about the asking price; the listing title says $500, but the listing body contains the statement "The price is only $600.00 and is as low as I will go."

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I'm going to go with a fine patriotic machine this Fourth of July, a car literally named American. This little Kenosha coupe lives in Alameda's West End.

Kind of an interesting C-pillar/rear-window setup on this car; it's a little abrupt and the overhang is on the Corvair-ish side, but it looks good.

The '61 American came standard with a 90-horsepower six. The folks in Kenosha wouldn't build you one with a V8, but there ain't no no law says a man can't add V8 sap to his American. Is there?

Nice simple interior. I dig the oval speedometer, and three-on-the-tree is a fun way to shift. Of course, if you went for the automatic in your American, you got one of the all-time great transmission names: Flash-O-Matic!

Interesting to think that this car is the direct ancestor of the Pacer; AMC was good at quirky.

It's certainly got that distinctive late-50s/early-60s Rambler grille. This car looks pretty solid, needing only some minor bodywork and a paint job to really shine.

List price on this car was $1845. You could get the 2-door Ford Falcon for $1912, a Chevy Corvair for $1920, a VW Beetle for $1565, or (if you were completely insane marching to a different drummer) a Renault Dauphine for $1645, so the Rambler was priced quite competitively. And, damn, the Beetle was a steal!

Just the slightest hint of fins here- nothing flashy on a sensible Wisconsin car. Of course, some 304 or 343 sap wouldn't hurt... – Murilee Martin

Related:
Rambler Rogue? No, Renault Torino! [internal]

We once had a French roommate into hot rods and sportbikes. Given that he'd become an American citizen whose nation of birth had been liberated by men driving vehicles manufactured by a company founded and shepherded by one John North Willys, we always thought his prediliction toward referring to the company as "Willis" was oddly, well, French. But it turns out that he was actually correct all along, which is one of the myriad things we learned today from an interesting piece about the man whose most lasting legacies are the Gasser and the Jeep. – Davey G. Johnson

John North Willys (of Overland) biography [Allpar]

Related:
The Girl From Itamaraty: Willys Limo, Brazilian Style [Internal]

Uttering the phrase half price anywhere near the word junkyard sends a couple of the Jalops driving with toolbox toward the self-service junkyard like so many moths to a streetlight on a summer night. One of the larger self-service yards in California had a statewide half price sale a while back and we were there in NoCal and SoCal. Bumbeck headed down out of the hills into hot and dusty Sun Valley while Martin ventured out onto the mean streets of Hayward from Alameda. Out of the thousands of cars being picked apart we've chosen ten that qualify to enter into the pantheon of Jalopnik half-price day junkyard specials. Our selections in blazing full color after the jump.

Ford Pinto

Ah, the Ford Pinto. After having successfully made it thorough the 12-step program for those that had to drive Pintos through their formative High School years, it always fills us with a combination of awe and revulsion whenever we see one of these compact hatches at the junkyard. This one had already given up its popular with the builder crowd rack-and-pinion front end, but had a fender already yanked and waiting for the lucky soul still driving a dented fender orange Pinto.

Chrysler Newport

Here's a '78 Chrysler Newport with a four-barrel 360. Someone's already yanked the carb, but everything else is still there. This engine choked out a miserable 170 horses in '78, but that's just because it suffers from 8.2:1 compression and other Malaise Era smoggitude; add the usual ingredients of aftermarket pistons, cam, and respiratory gear and you'd have an engine that would really wake up a Dart or Valiant. And, hey, '78 was the first year for the lockup-converter Torquflite.

MERKUR Xr4Ti

Despite having made it through the Subway Series, this mighty Merkur had fallen. The Merkur was sold here in the states as a 2.3L turbo and intercooled Ford Sierra with another name. At first we were bummed that someone had swiped all the pocket parts emblems and badges. Sadness turned to joy as we found one of the Merkur emblems minutes later on the rear trunk lid of a Fiero. The obvious choice in parts with the Merkur is to yank the 2.3 turbo mill, intercooler and trans for your Mercury Bobcat wagon. Don't forget to roll over to the van section and grab a smoked bubble window for additional style points. Cherry pickers rent at an additional fee. [Tell me about it. Never lose you keys if you live on the 6th floor.— ed]

Cadillac DeVille

Ignore the Ford intake and all the pine needles cluttering up the view. That grungy engine reposing in this beat-to-shit '70 Cadillac DeVille is none other than the 375-horse 472, a forged-crank monster that doesn't weigh much more than a small-block Chevy, fits easily in GM A-bodies, and has a fair selection of aftermarket performance goodies available. Sure, the 500 had 400 HP, but GM only put it in the FWD Eldorado and let's just make it perfectly clear that we'd sooner pull out several of our own teeth with a needlenose pliers than spend another endless day breaking tools and fingers extricating a 500 from an Eldo. Might as well take that BOP-pattern TH400 while you're at it.

Rambler Wagon

This find would be like winning the lottery for a Rambler fiend scouring the junkyard; we picture some old guy with a couple of Rambler project cars hitting the yard on Half Price Day, hoping to find an early AMC with a few compatible parts, when he spots this '59 wagon and blows out a couple heart valves- GHASP!- with the shock of recognition. It would also be a moneymaker for an eBay shark who can recognize the pieces that will fetch ten times the junkyard price. This Kenosha Kreampuff's been de-engined already, but the fenders are still there, as is the tailgate and most of the glass.

Plymouth Conquest

This flatside Mitsubishi Starion imported for Plymouth and rebadged as a Conquest hit the floor of the yard while we were milling about the Pontiac section. The unmistakable wedge shape of the Starion made its way into the corner of our eye while it was still on the forklift. While the engine looked pretty well cooked, the turbocharger had a rebuilt by sticker on the wastegate actuator. Hair dryer removal ensued. Rusted exhaust manifold mounting bolts served as a reminder to bring some JB-80, or similar, next time around. We already have a set of those wheels from the last half price day.

Toyota Corona

We have a soft spot for 60s Toyotas (in fact, Murilee's first car was a '69 Corona) so it made us a little sad to see this fairly intact one on the yard. Toyotas didn't start selling like crazy in the US until the '73 Arab oil embargo, so it's tough to find junkyard parts for the older ones. This '67 Corona is a rare junkyard find indeed; not only does it still have the engine, taillights, complete interior, and a jillion other rare-as-hen's-teeth bits and pieces, it's got the supah-cool Toyoglide transmission ready for harvest.

Mazda 323 Turbo

You don't see these every day on the street, much less sitting in the junkyard: an '88 Mazda 323 Turbo. Everything's still there for the discerning junkyard scavenger looking to build a totally shocking sleeper out of Grandma's 4-door 323, from ECU to intercooler and all the other stuff that makes for turbocharged fun. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the AWD option, but torque steer puts hair on your chest! Extract the engine, all the turbo plumbing, and the transaxle... and don't forget the all-important ECU!

Chrysler Conquest TSI

Moving further into the eighties and Mitsubishi Starion rebading exercises was this wide-body 1987 Chrysler Conquest TSI. Despite its obvious signs of neglect and abuse at the hands of the previous owner, this Starion had a mere 54K on the clock. A chewed up turbo cold side wheel filled us with punk rock rage thinking some bozo took a low miles Conquest to this sad ending. The only solution was to drop the 5-speed manual transmission and bring it home in the Starlet as a backup for the Starion. While we were under the car we had a great conversation with a guy scoring the rockers for his Mazda B2600 Pickup. G54B cross-branding junkyard goodness. Mitsubishi also put the G54B in forklifts. [Perfect for our forklift project car. Maybe you guys can get on that this week. — ed]

Lincoln Town Car Limo

The salad days of prom goers, wedding bells, and excursions down into Hollywood are over for this once fine Lincoln Town Car. Under the long white hood of this stretch Lincoln was a 5-0, perfect for a swap into that Fairmont wagon otherwise rusting away in the backyard. We're not really sure what else this beast could have given up besides a multi-switch console and a few toothbrushes.

– Mike Bumbeck & – Murilee Martin

Junkyard Chronicle [Junkyardchronicle.com]

Related:
Jalopnik Late-Night: Junkyard of Davey's Dreams [Internal]

Now and then, an enterprising hot-rod head suddenly thinks, "What if I put a freakin' Ferrari motor in this thing?" Many of Los Jalopniks have had this thought, but this visionary with a buttload of taste and a surprisingly-correct sense of perfect went the extra mile and acted on it, having the mill from a wrecked 360 Modena dropped into the back of a Rambler wagon. We think it looks perfect as it stands; as if an enterprising teenager with fab skills hit the junkyard, found a T-boned amalgam of Enzo's finest and applied it to his own ride. Word to the builder and owner: keep that vibe. [Thanks to Haller for the tip.] – Davey G. Johnson

A Ferrari Estate? [GTSpirit]

Related:
Did Somebody Say Small Block Citroen? Again? [Internal]

Sometimes mistaken for an early Dodge Charger, the fastback AMC Rambler Marlin hit the street in 1965, a year before the Dodge. Based on the Rambler Classic, most Marlins had 270-horse 327 V8s and all had seats that folded down to form a bed (a feature that must have come in handy on a hot drive-in date to a Russ Meyer triple-feature). Sadly, the Marlin faced stiff competition from Detroit iron with bigger engines and fatter marketing budgets and failed to sell well; in 1967, the Marlin nameplate was shifted to a fastback version of the Ambassador, in an unsuccessful attempt to compete with fastback Galaxies and Impalas. The real disappointment: Renault didn't make a version of the Marlin in South America. – Murilee Martin

The Story of the AMC Marlin Automobile [Concord University]

Related:
Rambler Rogue? No, Renault Torino! [internal]

One of the cars in the above illustration is a '79 Renault Torino, while the other is a '65 Rambler American. Notice any similarities? The story of the Renault Torino isn't just the usual case of a US automaker selling the tooling for an obsolete model to a South American manufacturer, nor was it a simple re-badging of a US model for license-building abroad. No, the Torino is the result of an early chapter in the twisty tale of the Renault-AMC story, which resulted in a unique-to-Argentina vehicle, based on the Rambler American Rogue but with body redesigned by Pininfarina and a Kaiser-designed engine under the hood. The Torino became a legend in Argentina, selling like crazy and having a fair bit of racing success, including a major N rburgring triumph in 1969. Torino production halted in 1982, a dark year for car freaks in Argentina. – Murilee Martin

So What's A Torino? [Rambler Rogue Registry]

Related:
The Go-Anywhere Ford Falcon...From Argentina! [internal]

"I chose this site for a number of reasons. It's filled with cars and memories. Dad and I loved cars. Most kids read the sports box scores. Dad and I read Automotive News. We came here together, him teaching me about cars that were built before my time...The Rambler automobile he championed was the first American car designed and marketed for economy and mileage. He dubbed it a compact car, a car that would slay the gas-guzzling dinosaurs. It transformed the industry."

Governor Mitt Romney's Presidential Announcement [MittRomney.com]

Related:
A Rebel Machine, Yes. A Rambler Derivative, No. X-Wing for Sale on eBay [internal]