So, in an attempt to get the 450 DOTS Celebration to show up on your computer, I'm breaking it up into sections. We've had the Germans and the Wagons, and today I've been so inspired by the beautiful DOTS '69 AMX that I've put together a collection of Alameda's street-parked vintage American cars and trucks that were not designed by Detroit's Big Three (I say "designed" because I think that the '45 Jeep counts as a Willys, in spite of being built by Ford). I believe that the trio of kit cars, the Shay Model A, the CMC Gazelle, and the Fieroborghini- based on Pinto, Chevette, and Fiero chassis, respectively- qualify here, because, well, why not? You Scout fans will find plenty of iron to admire, we've got some Ramblers and a couple of Studes, and there's even a Packard!

1943 IHC	1945 Ford	1948 IHC	1951 Willys	1953 Packard	1956 Willys
1958 Willys	1960 Studebaker	1960 Rambler	1961 Rambler	1964 Studebaker	1964 Jeep
1964 Checker	1965 IHC	1965 Rambler	1969 AMC	1969 AMC	1972 IHC
1972 IHC	1972 IHC	1976 AMC	1976 IHC	1977 IHC	1979 Shay
1980 IHC	1983 Jeep	1984 Jeep	1988 CMC	2000 Fieroborghini

Now, don't go sending me a bunch of those "ZOMG where is this junkyard? I need them parts for my Rambler project!" emails, because I shot these photos a year ago and this proto-AMC long ago served as a tasty snack for the steel jaws of The Crusher, an appetizer for the main course of Tradesman vans and W126 Benzes. Instead, contemplate the temporary nature of life as you peruse this Server Hamster-Approved™ new-style gallery, which I'm hoping won't cause a blackout to descend upon the Eastern Seaboard the very first time a reader clicks on one of its images:

Holy crap! A Weather Eye!

It's a still-in-shrinkwrap Jo-Han 1:25 scale kit of one of my two favorite musclecars of all time: the '69 AMC SC/Rambler. The current top bid is just $3.25, but there's a week to go. How much would you pay for this rare red-white-and-blue beast?

[eBay]

Ramblers and AMCs haven't been particularly plentiful on the streets of Alameda, but we've seen a handful. This '61 American, this '65 American, this '69 Ambassador SST Wagon, and this '76 Pacer pretty much sums it up, though I could add a few more if we consider pre-Chrysler Jeeps to be members of the AMC family tree.

1960 was the last year for the upside-down-bathtub Rambler styling. A low sticker price was the main goal for this car, and AMC was quite successful; car shoppers could get a two-door 1960 Rambler Deluxe Business Coupe (back seat not included) for just $1,781. Compare that to the $1,912 price tag on the cheapest Ford Falcon, or the $1,984 Chevy Corvair sedan. Or, heck, even the $1,565 '60 Volkswagen Beetle- the extra couple hundred bucks got you a much more traditional-looking and substantial car than what Wolfsburg had to offer.
The American's low price tag came with a few compromises, of course. Even this relatively high-zoot Custom (priced at $2,059) came with a flathead inline-six engine as standard equipment. That's right, you could still buy a new car with a flathead in the 1960s!

And we love those cars, no doubt about it, but looking at one is much like hearing the same classic-rock song for the millionth time. Sure, "Satisfaction" is a good tune (especially when performed by The Residents), but ennui sets in eventually. But there were plenty of vehicles built that can be classed as muscle cars, yet never attained truly iconic status. I'm a big fan of some of the less common machines, and UDMan truly loves them. He's put together a regular Obscure Muscle Car Parking Lot series over on CarDomain, where you'll be able to see obsessively documented and illustrated studies of such greats as the 1958 Packard Hawk, 1970 Mercury Marauder X-100, 1957 Rambler Rebel, and 1977 Pontiac LeMans Can Am. We say check it out!
[CarDomain Blog]

Where else do you get daily-driven Peugeot 404s parked on the same block as mirror-world Mopars, just around the corner from a Renault-branded, Pininfarina-styled, Kaiser-engined Rambler Rogue? Evestay was way, way, waaay down south and shot these fine machines for us. Fiats galore, a Falcon, a Maverick, even a Unimog! Here's what Evestay has to say:

I'm not positive that it's a Cambridge. Is it an Oxford? Dunno.
The Jeep pickup might be cheating. I suspect that it hasn't moved in some time.
I *love* the rope hood fastener on the CX.
Enjoy

Did you look at the '57 Cadillac down on the Alameda street and think "Man, I'd love to get me one of those... but who's got that kind of cash these days?" You could buy a somewhat rough one, but then the cost of parts will keep you poor for years. Don't give up on those Caddy dreams so easily, we say, because we've found a project '57 that comes with a parts car (go here if the ad disappears). Tune out the squawks of those can't-do-ers and never-happen-ers trying to tell you that both of those Cads barely qualify for parts-car status, because: 600 bucks. Really! Just six Benjamins and 9,000 pounds of rust luxury automobile will be all yours! And hey, you stand to make a profit on this deal, according to the seller: "Enough parts to build a complete car, and sell the remaining Vintage Parts to pay for your project, and then some!" You can't lose! Thanks to Scout_II_4x4 in Iraq for the tip!

A '57 Cadillac is a great car... if you're Vito Genovese, heading to the Apalachin Meeting, that is. If you're not a mob boss, however, you might consider heading to Kenosha for your 1957 project. Nash and Hudson joined to form AMC back in '54, so by purchasing this 1957 Nash/1957 Hudson combo (go here if the ad disappears), you'd be able to laugh at those noob Marlin owners who think they've got old AMCs. The seller doesn't think you need to know what models he's selling, but the cars appear to be a Nash Ambassador and a Hudson Hornet sedan. Since both are based on the same platform, you probably won't should be able to swap parts from one to the other with abandon. Just pick the nicest one and get busy! You get two AMC 327 V8s (one conveniently located in the trunk) and both cars are "pretty straight," with the interiors allegedly in good condition. Did we say you could use one as a parts car? Forget that- fix 'em both!

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It goes without saying this one is magical not only for its quirky peachy color, but also the rad textured vinyl on the bench seats, the pristine roof rack carrying a surf board (natch), and oh yeah, the vinyl woody applique. Totally awesome. What a great way to kick off our car coverage for the Dream Cruise.

1) 1909 Peerless Model 19 Touring Car

2) 1941 Willys Coupe Street Rod

3) 1951 Nash Rambler Custom Landau "Roll-Top" Convertible

4) 1967 Porsche 912 Soft Window Targa

5) 1957 Volkswagen Beetle

6) 1974 Chevrolet Camaro IROC Race Car

7) 1974 De Tomaso Pantera L

8) 1958 GMC Series 101 Pickup

9) 1966 Amphicar 770

10) 1959 Fiat Jolly 600

So there you have it, our picks for the crappiest cars up for sale at this year's 2008 Monterey Auctions. We know some of you will think we're heretics for picking a few of these, but by and large these rides just don't cut the mustard when masterpieces like the 1938 Bugatti 57SC Atalante are on the same block. So what do you think? What's the crappiest car of this years auctions? Feel free to fight it out in the space below.

Post publish commentary: Since some of you seem to have checked your sense of humor at the door and consider everything a serious offense to the senses now, I'll go out of my way to make it clear the term "Crappy" is being used in the jocular sense. Perhaps I didn't lay it on thick enough, but the main beef is with the culture of auctioneering driving the prices up on relatively normal cars. I don't think these are crappy, but the multi-million-dollar classic car gold rush is forcing the prices up and the prestige down on otherwise neat, but normal cars.

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You superpatriots might be screaming about the inclusion of a British car in this matchup- especially on a holiday celebrating the day we told our cruel colonial masters to hit the road (thanks for the backup, France!)- but Britain gave us our language, the basis for our legal system, and Top Gear. And come on, how can you not love a car named for its target market? What if Chrysler had made a version of the Dart called the Dodge Deutschland and sold it in Germany? OK, we admit that argument isn't so compelling, but you won't care once you take a look at this '68 Austin America, which is priced to move- though not under its own power- at just $500. The seller wants us to know it's an "easy restoration," and we couldn't agree more! The "motor is not frozen up," the glass is all there, and it's a California car so you get yellow-on-black plates and (maybe) not much rust. It's conceivable- though not likely- that you could get away with buying and shipping just a handful of parts from the UK to finish this project.

That Austin would be fun, but front-wheel-drive from 40 years back is still front-wheel-drive. How could you do good old-fashioned American donuts in the Circle K parking lot without a rear-wheel-drive car? Exactly. That's why a Rambler American, made by the American Motor Company, is the only choice approved by the House Un-American Burnout Activities Committee. If you've got 600 bucks in your pocket (and plenty of welding expertise), this somewhat rusty '60 Rambler American could be yours right now. In stark contrast to the Austin America, the American's engine is seized... but that's no problem, because you'll need to ditch that antique flathead six and replace it with a great big thirsty AMC 401, equipped with a huge tunnel-ram intake and Cherry Bombs. While you're building this engine- which will be the easy part of the project- you can also start fixing the rusted-out floor pan. Don't despair, because at least "all glass, head lights, tail lights all in tact." It can't be that hard, right?

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The Ferrambo may not be the greatest name ever, but it serves up a stout 280 points on the Jalopnik scale, and for good reason. How many other tiny, bright red, two door station wagons with a mid-mounted 3.6 L V8 mill out of a Ferrari 360 Modena have you seen lately? Of Course it's stupidly well built, but the details are really what puts this car over the top. The builders at Divers Street Rods went so far as to swipe the Ferrari text and use it to call out the car's name everywhere it was tastefully necessary. Under hood there is custom fitted leather luggage instead of the original wimpy inline 6. The the seats are custom covered buckets and the rear seats... there are no rear seats, only engine. Here's something really cool, the rear windows rotate about 5 degrees open with the turn of the ignition to provide a little venting for that beastly engine. Yes indeed, Troy Trepanier may have had a cool car with last years winner, First Love, but this year's winner is a hell of a lot more Jalopnik in our book. Divers Street Rods

The 220 was the entry-level Rambler for '65; you could buy a two-door for just $1979. That was $70 cheaper than a Dart 170, but $2 more than a Falcon and $11 more than a Chevy II.


But when you went with the Rambler, you got some cool stuff. Not just the infamous steamy-window-enhancing fold-flat seats, but styling touches like this side mirror.


There's a certain amount of Dart-esque styling to be found here... although one could make the case that Chrysler's designers were influenced by the Rambler's styling.


You got a 90-horse flathead six (yes, a flathead! in 1965!) as the standard powerplant with your American 220, but another $84.95 would get you the 145-horsepower OHV six.

Never mind what the Loverman says about the early Chargers being "frumpy," Chrysler's response to the gauntlet thrown down by the fishy Rambler (OK, fine, it was more a response to the hot-selling GTO) is a fine-looking machine! Break away from the herd of '68-70 B-body drivers and get yourself something like, say, this 1966 Charger! Yes, you're not hallucinating- that's just one grand for a genuine pre-Malaise Dodge Charger! And, of course, with that sweet price comes a few challenges. First of all, the seller seems vague about the mechanical condition, which generally means "Neither rain, nor sleet, nor gloom of night will hide the fact that nothing on this car works!" Then you gotta figure there's some serious rust involved, what with this car being from Missouri. Last- but certainly not least- is the lack of any sort of paperwork verifying ownership, so you'll need to do some negotiating with DMV officials who might be somewhat less than understanding about your situation. However, mechanical parts should be quite plentiful (body parts might be more difficult, though some Coronet stuff ought to fit), and imagine the kid-in-candy-store drivetrain choices you'd have! How about a 440 with the aforementioned 6-71, with pistol-grip 4-speed? Or, hell, a Viper V10! It can be done... with enough money and time.

But say even an early Charger is just too mainstream for your taste. Come to think of it, any car from Detroit is too mainstream. Maybe you need a stylish fastback from Kenosha, Wisconsin! How about this 1965 Rambler Marlin? At $2250 it's more than twice the price of the Charger, but it's also more complete. Plus, being a California car, there's not going to be as much rust. However, it's been stored since 1984, which (if it's been outdoors the whole time) means the trunk has probably filled with water every winter, and you can assume that the entire fuel system, all seals, and most electrical connectors are totally garbooned. The seller doesn't say anything about mechanical condition... but then, after 23 years of storage he doesn't need to say anything. The engine is the AMC 327, which isn't a bad engine, but the selection of go-fast parts is limited enough that we recommend the application of 401 cubes of Wisconsin horsepower as Item #1 on your checklist; you can defray a tiny percentage of your cost by selling the 327 to a Rambler fanatic. Restoring the interior... well, it might be a bit hard to find stuff like door panels and trim pieces, but that's what the Internet (and a fat wallet) is all about, right? Just imagine how all those dime-a-dozen Charger drivers will blend into the background as you roar up in your baaaaad Marlin!

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Our first car is a Frankenstein Special out of the Reno area; after its mad-scientist creator shot a man just to watch him die (but before he got sent to Folsom), he stuck a '54 Packard body onto a '72 Buick frame. We don't know what kind of Buick provided the frame, but we do know it has a torque-bomb 455! No, it doesn't run, but according to the seller it just needs some "minor motor work" to roar off into the desert. Does "minor" mean points and plugs, or bad rod bearings? It'll cost you 800 clams to find that out, cowboy!

You say you only buy projects that run right now? This here 1958 Rambler American (suggested by our tipster pal Alex) is the project for you! It just needs some interior work. Uh, and some exterior work, too. But so what? It runs, and it's got a pushbutton shifter to boot! And fins! There's a bit of confusion about the asking price; the listing title says $500, but the listing body contains the statement "The price is only $600.00 and is as low as I will go."

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