Unique is an understatement here. This is why we love the return of traditional hot rods to the scene: you never know what you're going to get. And hey, who said hot rods aren't practical. We bet that thing has a huge trunk up front. [Hemmings]

According to the seller, this car was featured in the obviously well known motion picture "13 million," a movie we all remember fondly (never mind that even IMDB has never heard of it). We just can't get over how spectacular this thing is put together. Is it possible for a car to be so bad it crosses the line into greatness? The answer is yes. (Thanks Henry) [eBay listing]

We're going to pull our punches here and choose a V8 that's not only fairly small for a DOHC unit but already set up for a front-wheel-drive application. That means the engine and associated transaxles are already lined up in correct orientation in the recipient cars' chassis. So whip out $1,600 and drop a Buy It Now bomb on this 300-horse late-90s Northstar engine, then head to the junkyard for some transaxle shopping fun.

You won't be the first lunatic ambitious project builder to take on the Northstar Fiero project. Far from it- why, it's been done many times! Here's a guy who makes the whole process look pretty straightforward. You can keep repeating to yourself the mantra "GM engine... GM car... easy swap..." as you head on down to pick up this very reasonably priced '84 Fiero (go here if the ad disappears). Only 400 bucks asking price! You can go ahead and make plans to have your new 300-horsepower Fiero terrorizing your town on the very same weekend, that's how easy it's sure to be... well, actually, you might need to spend some time fixing brakes and stuff, since the car has been sitting for "5 or 6" years (probable translation: 10 or 12 years). So let's say two weekends, tops!

Isn't it cheating to swap in an engine made by the same corporation that made the car? The Northstar might even bolt up to a GM transmission that fits perfectly in the Fiero, and where's the fun there? Not only that, the Fiero came with a V6 from the factory, which means there's room for a somewhat wide engine. That's why you need to spring for an extra hundred bucks and buy this '86 Toyota MR2 (go here if the ad disappears). Dad says it's gotta go, and when Orange County dads say it's gotta go, they mean it! All we know about the car is that it "NEEDS WORK," because the owner, Steve, needs to repeat his phone number four times and runs out of motivation for describing the car itself; hey, it works on radio ads, so why shouldn't it be even more effective in print? You might think that shoehorning a Northstar into an MR2 would be damn near impossible, what with the fact that the little Toyota came with only an inline-four engine and all, but it's been done! With 300 horsepower (or more, since you might as well add supercharging to this already-hopeless challenging project), your MR2 should have the kind of power-to-weight ratio seen only on racetracks (and in car-crash stories that make the national news).

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With Half Price Day coming up at the junkyard, we had to select our wing carefully; after all, $9.00 is quite an investment. We considered going for an MR2 wing, but some quick measuring led to the discovery that the wing off the Pontiac Fiero GT was just the right width for our car.


Into the Civic with the other half-priced loot! The Fiero GT wing is especially nice because it mounts on any flat surface via four easily-drilled holes.


Because we wanted to try to get some test time at a track with a "No Brake Light, No Service" policy prior to the actual race, we picked up some Chrysler minivan brake lights to mount on the underside of the wing.


Look at that safety!


By our calculations, our Fiero wing adds 50 horsepower and infinite coolness.

The Fiero GT came with GM's 2.8 liter V6, which was rated at 140 horsepower. Of course, many other GM engines have been made to fit in the Fiero's engine compartment, from the supercharged 3800 to the Cadillac 4.9 to the good ol' Chevy small-block.


This car had a list price of $12,875, which was more than 4 grand steeper than the Honda CRX Si (which I'm pretty sure was faster and quicker than the Fiero; we're assuming- well, actually, hoping- the mid-engined Fiero handled better than the front-drive Honda, and most would agree the Pontiac was the better-looking of the two). But still, $4,000? Ouch! Sadly, the Fiero didn't get the "good" suspension until the '88 model, by which time the carbuying public's attention span had long since wandered from the little plastic Pontiac.


Still, these cars had style. They were different. So let's have a poll to see what the mob thinks about Fieros on DOTS:

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"Have you always wanted a Ferrari Enzo, but just didn't want to put up the top dollar or found yourself not on the list to buy one? Well friends, who needs the Italian stallion when you can buy yourself a re-bodied 1986 Pontiac Fiero with the same level of reliability as a real Ferrari. Best of all, no one will ever know the difference. At least anyone with absolutely no knowledge of cars. And if they're blind. And if they lack both the sense of touch and hearing. Basically, if you're trying to impress a corpse on the cheap, the Fierenzo is the way to go..."

And lucky for you — you can snag this beautiful work of art for a pittance at only $7500 or best offer. That's right, for less than the price for one Brembo on an actual Enzo Ferrari, you can get a V6-automatic beauty dressed in "Corvette Red" that drives "like a go-cart" But please, "SERIOPUS INQUIRES ONLY."

In addition to the forged Ferraris they report on, we spy with our little eyes a fake Lamborghini Diablo in the mix as well. Suppose they just missed that one, or is the Ferrari angle just sexier? Somehow all of this reminds us that Car und Driver's Mike Austin still has a Fiero left over from LeMons in his garage. Or maybe it belongs to Phil Floraday of Winding Road - can't quite keep that straight. We're thinking those guys have to be involved in this somehow.

Ah, the ceaselessly amazing world of Fiero-based exotic replicas. Which DNA has been implanted in the Fiero cell this time? Yes, it is indeed that of the Mk1 Ford GT40. V8 Archie's GT4T has V8 power, front and rear clamshell lids and um, uh, no Gurney Hump. Still, for a mere $45k, you can go out and shame Enzo Fiero all over again! We're totally buying one to go with our A.J. Foyt mask. Now we just need to find an ersatz Mulsanne straight in some sprawling Central Valley mixed-use office-industrial complex.

GT4T [V8 Archie's]

Related:
Big Daddy Glickenhaus On The Ford/Ferrari War [Internal]

Really, we're going to start putting good Fieros (i.e., ones with actual Fiero bodies and plenty of horsepower) up real soon, but the can't-stop-staring morbid fascination with the world of hideous faux-talian-supercar Fiero-based kit cars has us hooked on the horror for another day. Here's the JISOD 8F402, a Fiero conversion that's somewhat Ferrari-ish, in the same way that hanging a Playboy air-freshener from your rearview mirror makes you sort of Hugh Hefner-ish. Better move fast if you want one of these kits, though, because as the dude selling them says: "Only 3 glass bodys left when there gone their GONE." You heard the man! – Murilee Martin

JISOD 8F402 [kitcarman.com]

Related:
Elevate Your Social Status Now! [internal]

So here's a fairly clean '86 Fiero, with 173,000 miles and some balls-not-to-wall mods. The price? $12,000. Just to put that in persective, feeding the numbers through the Inflation Calculator produces a result of $6644.31 in 1986 dollars, somewhat more than half the $11K a V6 Fiero SE cost new. So either the Fiero is the King of Low Depreciation Rate or maybe there's some confusion about the going rate for Fieros these days. Oh, and it's an automatic. – Murilee Martin

1986 Pontiac Fiero SE - $12000 [craigslist]

Related:
1985 Fiero GT, Now With Burning Hot V6! [internal]

Of all the forehead-slapping what-might-have-been heartbreakers perpetrated by The General over the years, the Fiero really stands out. Undermined by the bean-counters' insistence on the Iron Duke engine and Chevette-based suspension, the Fiero that was grunted out of the factory in '84 bore little resemblance to the Ferrari-esque vision of its designers. For the '85 model year, however, a (somewhat flammable) 140-horse V6 was available, boosting performance from "sluggish" all the way up to "not so bad." Fly, Fiero, fly! Fry, bean counters, fry! – Murilee Martin

Related:
Wicked Winnipeg Fieros, eh? [internal]

Arguably, GM killed the Pontiac Fiero just as it was getting all the kinks worked out — the fires, the Chevette front suspension (and Chevy Citation rear), the Revellesque build quality. By the last year of production, 1988, the plastic wonder was actually a decent driver that barely ever burst into flames. But could it be coming back? The Left Laneers did some rooting around the US patent office yesterday and came up with this bit. It seems GM reregistered the Fiero name earlier this year. LLN speculates it could be used for the on-again-off-again Pontiac Solstice coupe, though we have out doubts. No matter. Something may or may not be in the works, and we'll be paying attention. Oh, and Pontiac's in the process of re-upping "Firebird," just in case you thought that was the more important story.

Trademarks: Pontiac Firebird, Fiero set to return? [Left Lane News]

Related:
The 1988 Pontiac Fiero; A Collectable? [internal]

Jigga what? Fishermen with Pontiac Fierolust (c'mon, they must be out there somewhere) can spend their hard-earned clams (heh) on this 14 ft Boston Whaler hull covered in snowy white Fieroness. The vessel sports bucket seats, Fiero dashboard and steering sheel, sunroof, running lights, foam-filled tires, and 40 hp Johnson outboard, which has no problem pulling the plastic sportster shell. Reserve not met at $3,500. [Thanks to Dave for the tip.]

pontiac fiero mounted on boston whaler with 40 hp motr [eBay]

Related:
More on the Fiero [internal]