5) Plymouth Laser
There's a malt liquor called Laser. It's about as refreshing to a college thirst as a pint of warm vinegar, but it does the job. Pretty similar to the Plymouth Laser actually.

4) Merkur XR4Ti
Just because the Germans are doing it doesn't make it cool (or scatalogical). Naming cars with letters and numbers may seem like a good idea, but nobody is going to sing about how it was 'fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the XR4Ti awaaaaay.'

3) Jeep Jeepster
If Jeep considers reusing the name "Jeepster," that means the lately questionably off-road brand is considering a car-like Jeep, and that's stupid. We actually think the original Jeepster is pretty cool; our only reason for nominating this one is because Jeeps should never have been so city-fied.

2) Ford Fairmont
As much as we love the Fairmont police cars of the past, and the name does conjure up images of fair mountains, it's one that needs to stay buried. This one makes the list if only to discourage Ford from it's ridiculous and annoying "F" naming penchant.

1) Pontiac Aztek
We know, GM, you're tempted to relive those halcyon days of 2001 when you besmirched an entire ancient civilization by unleashing the Pontiac Aztek upon the public. Quetzalcoatl will rain down destruction upon you should it ever make a return.