Everyone in the Jalopniksphere is presenting long, verbose statements about how they would save General Motors. I've already done this, and you all have seen it. I've resined to the fact that B-Nar and R-Dub won't be listening to my, obvousuly, brilliant ideas anytime soon. So, I've decided to make one last ditch ploy as an idea to save GM.
Cars are complex. GM hasn't done a good job making them over the years. Too many pieces falling off, massive labor problems, and pension benefits out the "wazoo" as my Grandma never actually said but I wish she did.
GM makes some pretty bad cars. The Impala is one of them. It's just rubbish. However, it sells many more units than the superior Malibu does. Why is this? Well, since you asked, it's because the average American consumer dosen't give a shit. You might think that they all CARE that their car was built by an American. Nope, BULLSH*T! That their car is a of airbags on 4 wheels. NOPE, that's BULLSH*T! The average American consumer dosen't give a CRAP about what their buying. They just want SOMETHING. When I go out and buy a car, I think, hey, I want a good car. When THEY go out, they think "DAMNIT, why do I have to leave my house!" and they come back with a FU*KING CHEVORLET IMPALA! Well, why did you buy that? I ask. "BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAP!" Really, I say. Because it was cheap. That's just dandy.
Well, here is my idea for moving GM into solvency. Stop selling cars. Close the factories, tear them down. Plant grass. Put up fences. Raise horses.
Now, everyone, some Lewis Black, for your continued enjoyment.
I figure, no GM brands are going anywhere. The dealers control GM, and they don't want to lose brands. At most GM will say they'll cut back on brands, but not anytime soon.
Where is Ford in all this? I've heard their cash burn rate was higher then that of GM, yet I haven't heard much from the Blue Oval folk on going to the government for emergency funding.
GM should move all their trucks under the GMC banner, and all their cars under the Chevy banner and call it a life in the USA. Ditch all the marquis, Have two, Chevy & GMC Trucks, stop the badge engineering shit between all the lines, Because an Aura / Opel / G6 / Malibu are all the same fucking car underneath - why you need 4 identical cars with 4 different sheet metal treatments???
This only proves why GM is failing.
They should cut Saab loose, but I doubt it will survive on it's own. And I don't honestly think that has anything to do with GM's bungling efforts over the years.. Saab was ailing when GM picked it up the first time. (Saab was starting to get wtfpwn'ed by the Japanese Turbo cars who were a bazillion times more efficient, and reliable than Saab)) In fact, the most resent spike in Saab Sales came as a result of Subaru, not GM. (9-2xAero) But again, was another badge engineered project.. well at least they badge engineered a car that was actually good (Subaru Impreza).
Chrysler, needs to DIAF. Seriously, The Viper is the only car worth a shit they've EVER made in recent history. There, I said what every one else is truly afraid to admit. Woo, big shit, they "invented" the minivan, and that's right where they stopped. It took every one else to refine and create better MV's while Chrysler fettered away what recognition they gained for it's creation on garbage.
To everyone saying those two abominations of Chinese car companies should 'pick up GM and Chrysler cast off's' just so your 'favorite' car can be gutted and turned into an even bigger pile of shit - it's that thinking that allowed GM and Chrysler to turn their line up's into shit and the reason why they are failing now.
YOu really think Tata or Cery is going to make GM and Chryslers already crappy cars BETTER??? Oh.. thats a great laugh.. good stuff guys.
No wonder the US automakers are dying on the vine. Their customers are fucking idiots.
On the subject of Chrysler, I'm thinking they've got some serious problems. While working with Fiat seems like a good idea, they simply don't have a good reputation in this country, despite the fact they are rather good cars nowadays.
The Fiat 500 is coming to the U.S. no matter what it appears (at the very least in Abarth form at Ferrari dealers). Giving Fiat access to the 300's platform for a rear-wheel drive luxury Fiat seems cost-effective...for Fiat. I don't see how this is going to raise long-term capital, especially seeing that Fiat hasn't done so well when doing the big car thing. Lancia Thesis anyone? A super Fiat sedan will never sell in high enough numbers to bring substantial cash flow to Chrysler in the U.S.
Then there's the idea of selling lower-spec Alfa Romeos at Chrysler dealers. First, I'm thinking Ferrari dealers would have a fit over this. Second, how come the idea of selling Alfas at Chrysler dealers sounds eerily familiar. Oh yeah! That's what they were doing in the mid-90s...you know, when Alfa left the U.S. the last time. Didn't work out well then, and I don't see it working well now either.
I hate to say it, but I think Chrysler's days are numbered. Perhaps we may get a few Fiats in the U.S. (badged as Chryslers), which would be pretty cool, but beyond that I'm skeptical of the long-term validity of this deal.
@Paul-Michael Van Hook: No, I think we're gonna get Fiats/Alfa Romeos, badged as Fiats/Alfa Romeos, manufactured at old Chryslerebus factories to hold costs down.
@Paul-Michael Van Hook: Most people in the US now won't remember the Fiats of days gone by. The 500 is a cool little car and will give Chrysler a foothold in the small car segment. Fiat, in return, gets instant plant capacity (they are essentially paying for tooling in exchange for a 35% cut of the company) and an instant dealer network. Both of these are the most difficult things to come by for a new car company expanding into a new market.
I see this as a win-win, but with the advantage definitely going to Fiat. Cerberus wants out, so this is part of their exit strategy (the 35% stake in Chrysler will only dilute Cerberus' stake, not Daimler's).
Interestingly, the Fiat deal hinges on Chrysler getting $3 billion more from the US government. So, we are going to give Chrysler $3 billion so they can turn around and become foreign-owned again? If that happens Toyota, Honda and BMW could also stake a claim on US taxpayer dollars.
Here's how I see this whole thing playing out:
1. Chrysler gets the $3 billion they are asking for.
2. The deal with Fiat goes thru.
3. Fiat retools NA plants for the 500 and possibly another model or two.
4. Fiat, over the next year or two, buys up shares of Chrysler from Cerberus and Daimler
5. Fiat drops the Chrysler brands except Jeep.
Of course, this assumes that Fiats in NA are a hit.
Hummer can go...at this point it's a lame duck. And nobody needs an urban assault vehicle that gets 10 mpg and spits in the face of the environment.
It's too bad Saturn is going to get the axe though because they were finally coming into their own. The Astra 2-door is seriously hot, and I have a real affinity for the Sky.
As for Saab, since I actually own a 91 900S (you know, a real non-GM Saab) I'm going to be downright angry if this storied brand is sent to its grave. I think there's a lot of life left in Saab...just not under GM control. Tata, are you listening? Even if GM has to unload Saab for pennies on the dollar, they ought to do that instead of just killing off the nameplate altogether.
04/24/09
04/24/09
HEY PUT DOWN THAT PITCHFORK I DIDN'T MEAN IT I SWEAR
04/24/09
I don't believe at all any source worth anything has said GM is "cutting" Pontiac, as the plan is still to keep it a niche make.
04/24/09
04/24/09
04/24/09
Such is the power of Wert!
04/24/09
*Newswires = TotalFark
04/24/09
04/24/09
Give the poor guy a break. That takes a lot of effort.
02/17/09
Cars are complex. GM hasn't done a good job making them over the years. Too many pieces falling off, massive labor problems, and pension benefits out the "wazoo" as my Grandma never actually said but I wish she did.
GM makes some pretty bad cars. The Impala is one of them. It's just rubbish. However, it sells many more units than the superior Malibu does. Why is this? Well, since you asked, it's because the average American consumer dosen't give a shit. You might think that they all CARE that their car was built by an American. Nope, BULLSH*T! That their car is a of airbags on 4 wheels. NOPE, that's BULLSH*T! The average American consumer dosen't give a CRAP about what their buying. They just want SOMETHING. When I go out and buy a car, I think, hey, I want a good car. When THEY go out, they think "DAMNIT, why do I have to leave my house!" and they come back with a FU*KING CHEVORLET IMPALA! Well, why did you buy that? I ask. "BECAUSE IT WAS CHEAP!" Really, I say. Because it was cheap. That's just dandy.
Well, here is my idea for moving GM into solvency. Stop selling cars. Close the factories, tear them down. Plant grass. Put up fences. Raise horses.
Now, everyone, some Lewis Black, for your continued enjoyment.
02/17/09
Am I missing anything yet?
02/17/09
Where is Ford in all this? I've heard their cash burn rate was higher then that of GM, yet I haven't heard much from the Blue Oval folk on going to the government for emergency funding.
02/17/09
Hummer should go before Saturn or Saab, IMO.
02/17/09
02/17/09
This only proves why GM is failing.
They should cut Saab loose, but I doubt it will survive on it's own. And I don't honestly think that has anything to do with GM's bungling efforts over the years.. Saab was ailing when GM picked it up the first time. (Saab was starting to get wtfpwn'ed by the Japanese Turbo cars who were a bazillion times more efficient, and reliable than Saab)) In fact, the most resent spike in Saab Sales came as a result of Subaru, not GM. (9-2xAero) But again, was another badge engineered project.. well at least they badge engineered a car that was actually good (Subaru Impreza).
Chrysler, needs to DIAF. Seriously, The Viper is the only car worth a shit they've EVER made in recent history. There, I said what every one else is truly afraid to admit. Woo, big shit, they "invented" the minivan, and that's right where they stopped. It took every one else to refine and create better MV's while Chrysler fettered away what recognition they gained for it's creation on garbage.
To everyone saying those two abominations of Chinese car companies should 'pick up GM and Chrysler cast off's' just so your 'favorite' car can be gutted and turned into an even bigger pile of shit - it's that thinking that allowed GM and Chrysler to turn their line up's into shit and the reason why they are failing now.
YOu really think Tata or Cery is going to make GM and Chryslers already crappy cars BETTER??? Oh.. thats a great laugh.. good stuff guys.
No wonder the US automakers are dying on the vine. Their customers are fucking idiots.
02/17/09
02/17/09
The Fiat 500 is coming to the U.S. no matter what it appears (at the very least in Abarth form at Ferrari dealers). Giving Fiat access to the 300's platform for a rear-wheel drive luxury Fiat seems cost-effective...for Fiat. I don't see how this is going to raise long-term capital, especially seeing that Fiat hasn't done so well when doing the big car thing. Lancia Thesis anyone? A super Fiat sedan will never sell in high enough numbers to bring substantial cash flow to Chrysler in the U.S.
Then there's the idea of selling lower-spec Alfa Romeos at Chrysler dealers. First, I'm thinking Ferrari dealers would have a fit over this. Second, how come the idea of selling Alfas at Chrysler dealers sounds eerily familiar. Oh yeah! That's what they were doing in the mid-90s...you know, when Alfa left the U.S. the last time. Didn't work out well then, and I don't see it working well now either.
I hate to say it, but I think Chrysler's days are numbered. Perhaps we may get a few Fiats in the U.S. (badged as Chryslers), which would be pretty cool, but beyond that I'm skeptical of the long-term validity of this deal.
02/17/09
02/17/09
I see this as a win-win, but with the advantage definitely going to Fiat. Cerberus wants out, so this is part of their exit strategy (the 35% stake in Chrysler will only dilute Cerberus' stake, not Daimler's).
Interestingly, the Fiat deal hinges on Chrysler getting $3 billion more from the US government. So, we are going to give Chrysler $3 billion so they can turn around and become foreign-owned again? If that happens Toyota, Honda and BMW could also stake a claim on US taxpayer dollars.
Here's how I see this whole thing playing out:
1. Chrysler gets the $3 billion they are asking for.
2. The deal with Fiat goes thru.
3. Fiat retools NA plants for the 500 and possibly another model or two.
4. Fiat, over the next year or two, buys up shares of Chrysler from Cerberus and Daimler
5. Fiat drops the Chrysler brands except Jeep.
Of course, this assumes that Fiats in NA are a hit.
02/17/09
02/17/09
02/17/09
It's too bad Saturn is going to get the axe though because they were finally coming into their own. The Astra 2-door is seriously hot, and I have a real affinity for the Sky.
As for Saab, since I actually own a 91 900S (you know, a real non-GM Saab) I'm going to be downright angry if this storied brand is sent to its grave. I think there's a lot of life left in Saab...just not under GM control. Tata, are you listening? Even if GM has to unload Saab for pennies on the dollar, they ought to do that instead of just killing off the nameplate altogether.
02/17/09