Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
Detroit, 5:09 AM
Sun Nov 8
6 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
tips@jalopnik.com
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | Email | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler | Email
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin | Email
Associate Editor - Houston:
Matt Hardigree
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Ben Wojdyla
Editor-at-Large:
Mike Spinelli
Contributors:
Mark Arnold
John Krewson | Email
Andy Didorosi
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
10/19/09
"yeah, I fire bullets at $380,000 cars with $250,000 worth of armor. Its a livin." #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
thats cos back in the 70's he got to fire bullets at Vietcong for minimum wage - aghh the good old days! #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
Next time I plan to cross a drug lord, I know how I'll be rolling. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
10/19/09
The rich don't quite get it. Shrink the income gap and people won't hate you. Then you can drive whatever you want. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/19/09
The guy who drove him to the hospital said that when the ER staff removed his pants, there was blood everywhere. Apparently, the stain-resistant treatment on the pants did an excellent job of keeping the mess from showing.
So, yeah, the damage on the inside might not be apparent by looking at the outside. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
10/19/09
Science just blew up. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
This guy and another co-worker were otherwise alone in a next-door building used for long-term storage. While they were waiting for a truck to arrive, the co-worker bet him a dollar or two that he couldn't climb a roof support pole all the way to the top. He was able to reach the goal, then slid down, fireman-style.
Unfortunately, on the way up, he neglected to notice the pole had a hook for hanging a fire extinguisher, but he sure found it on the way down. It was high enough above inseam level that he apparently hit it with a good amount of momentum. The hook punctured his pants and his family jewels.
As I recall, the lack of visible blood caused him to wait for several minutes to report the injury, until he realized the pain was not going to subside. He was worried he was going to get fired for horseplay. Ultimately the boss decided he created his own punishment, and let him slide, so to speak. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/20/09
This guy and another co-worker were otherwise alone in a next-door building used for long-term storage. The hook punctured his pants and his family jewels. Ultimately the boss decided he created his own punishment, and let him slide, so to speak. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
That'll buff right out. #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
'Lightly used armored Rolls, with unique extras' #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
Dude, did you write for Auto Trader?
My favorite descriptive term, "light rollover". #rollsroycephantom
10/19/09
10/19/09
10/07/09
But being a cheap bastard, I'd leave off the expensive and difficult walnut burl, and do mine in a nice sugar maple.
What can I say, I'm a Murrican.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
The mating with the Bavarian Moterii Werkous have led to some rather questionable offspring, which some belive to have the persona of old, however most still long for the older Royceous.
Oh, avast, lookout that window there. Behold the mighty flanks of the Roycerous. They consume mostly petrolum products and algee, however have been known to devour a fish or two.
And after this paid announcement by the ideal coffee table book, "Wert and Camaro: A love for eternity," in bookstores everywhere.
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
10/07/09
07/15/09
PASS CRACKING PIPE.