I've learned from my searches for French Project Car Hell candidates that the 505 is by far the most numerous French car available in North America. Is that because the 505's reliability has been so appalling that none of them can wear out, or because they're that good? And what happened to all those 504s?

I used to own a Peugeot 504, and I've been scouring the island for one to photograph for this series. No dice in that department so far, but I did manage to find this 505 Turbo down by the beach. This is our fourth Alameda DOTS Peugeot; prior to today, we've had this '60 403, this '85 505, and this '91 405.


The 505 Turbo was a fast rear-wheel-drive machine that held its own against the German competition back in the 80s; we were very disappointed that the Cheese Eating Surrender Monkeys 505 Turbo 24 Hours Of LeMons team wrecked their trailer on the way to the Arse Freeze-A-Palooza race. We're hoping they'll be at the Reno race to show those BMWs a thing or two.


I found this car parked down by the San Francisco Bay, at the beach favored by the wind- and kite-surfing crowd. The anti-shark surf-shop sticker on the back suggests that it's a surfer's daily driver (though the telltale roof racks seem to be missing).

We've all read Armand Bengle's oft-voiced threats to bring a V12 Jaguar to Thunderhill in December, and normally you'd figure he might as well start measuring shelf space for the Index Of Effluency trophy with such a car; just run a few dozen laps before blowing up or catching on fire and that's that! But that Jag is going to have some weapons-grade IOE competition on the track!


Would you believe a mid-60s Chevrolet Corvair? With four carburetors? Yes, by the time UDMan brings his Corvair to LeMons New England, he'll have some idea of what to expect from his swingaxle-equipped racin' mo-sheen, because Team Unsafe At Any Speed is duct-taping a truly wretched-looking Corvair into shape. Two months to go! Panic! Work faster!



Fine, so the Corvair will be duking it out with the Jag, in a race to see whether the Prince Of Darkness will hose the V12's ignition system before the Corvair goes spinning backwards off the track and breaks in half due to excessive rust, with the "winner" taking home the trophy. Not so fast, monsieur! Team Cheese-Eating Surrender Monkeys will be out there in a turbocharged, rear-wheel-drive, high-performance European sedan that, in theory, should be able to make everything else on the track eat its Gauloises-scented dust. Theory, practice… sometimes they diverge quite a bit, and the 505 Turbo is pure Index Of Effluency gold. Will it blow up? Will some incomprehensibly French component fail in some inscrutable, unfixable manner? Will it simply disintegrate on the track after a few laps of abuse? Or will it scream to victory, thanks to its 150 horses and lightweight chassis? There's just no telling, but we're positive that this is going to be a helluva race!