That method worked wonders on the saleability of this Morris Minor Hell Project, and now we're seeing the cheesecake approach taken to new heights with the most decrepit awesome collection of Hell Projects we've ever seen offered by a single eBay seller. Looking for a '63 Ford Zodiac? Perhaps a '49 Salmson S461 is more your speed, or a '54 Austin A30. Whatever sort of obscure French, German, or British machine you might be seeking, German eBay seller Goldies-Boutique probably has what you need. The model, who may or may not be "Goldie," shows off an assortment of costumes while posing in a all the standard car-parts-calendar-style poses; we especially like the fetching grease smears on her face in the "Verdammt Citroën won't start!" shot. Now, there's always the danger that Max Mosley took one look at this tall, busty German woman posing in front of a '48 Panhard Dyna in a skimpy cop outfit and immediately bought all 23 Hell Projects… but you never know, you know?
[eBay Germany], thanks to Manic King Of Corinthia for the tip!

My research indicates that 1960 was the last year for this style of hood emblem on the 403, and the turn signal lights suggest that it's a 1958-1960 car. Of course, this could be a rare Tahiti- or Ivory Coast-built car, in which case all bets are off (though the yellow-on-black plate and early letter combo indicates 1963 or 1964 as the first year this car was registered in California). You Peugeot experts are invited to help us out here.


The California sun has not been kind to the steering wheel, but the rest of the interior looks pretty good. Note the pliers sitting on the floor- think that's what's used to start the car?


The view from this angle looks quite Amazon-like, though any other perspective makes it clear you're looking at something French. The list price of the 1960 403 in the United States was $2,250, and you got a four-speed and sunroof as part of the deal. Compare that to the $1,974 price tag on the brand-new-for-1960 Ford Falcon... now, making a choice between those two would be quite the dilemma. And, speaking of dilemmas, we've got a total of four French cars in this series, which is enough for a poll. I'm thinking the Medallion might not fare so well, but You Never Know, You Know?

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Any Peugeot 403 stands on its own as a Hell Project, but what do you get when you restore one? You get 65 horsepower, that's what! Clearly, some added motivation is needed here, and what better choice than the good ol' small-block Chevy? Can you fit one in a 403? Yes, indeed- just ask the guy who's already done most of the work on this 1961 Peugeot 403, which is already set up for Chevy power. Hell, The General himself will sell you a brand-new crate motor today! Then all you'll need to do... hey, hold on- did we say the seller has already done most of the work? Perhaps we were a bit hasty there, but lots of stuff has been done. You get front and rear suspension, a narrowed Ford 9-inch rear, and "tons of parts in the car, more than I can list." In a break from PCH tradition, we've got a seller who appears to know what he's doing in the garage, which means you'll be in for dozens instead of hundreds of sanity-puncturing surprises as you attempt to finish the job.

Small-block Peugeots are fine and all, but all the weight is on the front of the car instead of over the drive wheels. Not good! That's why the real Project Hell Hoon goes for an air-cooled VW, for a virtually weightless car that provides tons of exciting oversteering fun. Like, say, what you'd get with this 1974 Volkswagen Beetle with supercharged 2110cc engine, on sale now with an asking price of $3,500. I've owned a few stupidly overpowered performance-upgraded Beetles, and by some miracle I'm still here to tell you that the handling and braking characteristics of such a vehicle are, uh, interesting. Yes, that's the word I was looking for! So, you've got a car that weighed 1,831 pounds new, hack 400 pounds of unnecessary crap out of it, and then you replace the 46-horsepower 1600 with a howling supercharged unit belting out four or five times as much power (when it's not burning valves or blowing cylinder heads completely off the vehicle, that is). Was the engine built right? What kind of fuel-delivery system (if any) do you get? Is your life insurance paid up?

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