PETA, the devastators of all things good, tasty and meaty, have made bold suggestions in the past, but their recent ideas are, to be perfectly honest, troublesome. They've suggested the hotdog-shaped staple of American summer BBQs be buried alongside Mr. Mayer immediately after offering their "condolences and support during these difficult times." They then conjured this tasty little morsel for you all to chew on; "(The Wienermobile) traverses the countryside and entices children to try Oscar Mayer meats, which can set them on the road to developing life-threatening illnesses."

Those 'life-threatening illnesses' that the nutjobs at PETA are referring to must be the feeling of happiness and fullness after chowing down on a delicious chili and cheese topped beef frank with a hearty helping of onions, relish and pickles. They say bury the Wienermobile in the ground, we say it should be buried somewhere else. We'll let your colorful minds decide where that'll be. [ThisIsDiversity]

Did Chim-Chim get a beat-down? That's the allegation PETA put to "Speed Racer" producer Joel Silver in a letter recently. According to the missive — publicized by MSNBC gossip columnist Jeanette Walls — PETA received complains the chimpanzee actor portraying Chim was beaten after biting an actor. A response from Warner Brothers assured PETA the chimp was treated humanely (or is that sub-humanely?), though PETA isn't having any of it. They want Silver to switch to animatronics. No word on who was bitten or if the chimp was indeed backhanded. [Thanks to Ralph for the tip.] – Mike Spinelli

PETA not monkeying around with 'Speed Racer' [MSNBC]

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Speed Racer To Get Sweet-Ass Mach 5 For Live-Action Movie [internal]

As an odd, cred-killing side-note, one Jalopnik was actually in both the El Camino High Madrigal choir, as well as the Central Valley Regional Honor Choir with American Idol contestant Mandisa Hundley, who is a very nice woman and only accused us of being a racist once, when we, as a part of a pre-Homecoming stunt, were the ringleader in a game of Musical Pies and ended up dumping a pan full of cream onto a black girl's head, not realizing that due to the texture of African-bred hair that dairy products are hard to get out.

Nevertheless, we were a fairly pissed at Simon Cowell for his comments regarding Mandisa's weight, seeing as she is a very nice woman, and while much of her taste in music frankly sucks (although, to her credit, she was pissed about our choir director's edict that she perform "The Greatest Love of All" at graduation), we love listening to the girl sing gospel. And even though we don't consume meat or wear leather (and haven't for 11 years), we're also annoyed at Simon for his PETA-allied statement about leaving dogs in hot cars. Of course you shouldn't leave dogs in hot cars. Then again, self-righteous bastards of a feather flock together.

Simon Cowell is Steamed About Dogs Left in Hot Cars [Internal]

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Classic Top Gear: Clarkson Had a Bad Day With Simon Cowell [Internal]

Pam's right. Asking for a leather-free luxury car these days is like ordering a vegan smoothie in Wisconsin — the shopkeepers give you 20 seconds to walk away before calling the FBI. Anderson, a PETA spokesmodel of late, put in a such a request for a Mercedes G55 AMG, which was denied by the powers that be — who've said all future Mercedes vehicles will be available leather-free in certain markets. It's likely because the G55 is in its final model year before a complete redesign. Still, the elephant-knuckle gearshift delete option should still be available for an extra $4500.

Pam Wants Peta-Friendly Mercedes [eMercedesBenz]

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Electric Car Dispute Leads to Arrests [internal]