The Nürburgring remained closed for a few hours this morning while crews worked to remove a gigantic white graffiti penis from the track. Seriously. This is a thing that happened.

A South Carolina man (not pictured) has been awarded $7.5 million in damages after a motorcycle accident causes his penis to be shortened by 1.5 inches. Since the crash, 27-year old Matthew Wall has both divorced and retired from The Navy.

A British cabbie was made to remove the small blue glass cross from his dashboard after a passenger complained it looked too phallic. Who, exactly, would see a cross and think "Penis?" A teenage boy, of course.

We measure ourselves against our heroes. It's natural. Now here's your chance to literally do just that with Steve McQueen, the "King of Cool," who lets his Mustang make a NSFW Great Escape below. Seriously, NSFW. There be dong below.

In the new Steve McQueen biography, we learn from his first wife Neile Adams what we all expected about the actor's self confidence. And then we almost see it. Almost. Photo: Life/John Dominis.

Those disappointed in the name change vote of Butt Hole Road'll be happy hearing it's not the only hilariously unfortunate street name. Here's ten more to add to the list of world's street signs making your internal ten-year-old laugh below.