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Detroit, 1:33 AM
Thu Dec 3
32 posts in the last 24 hours

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  • posts about #penalty more →

    Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!

    Detroit's 2008 Belle Isle Grand Prix: IRL Race Result Tainted By Controversy, Prickish Fans
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Joshuman Joshuman
    03/22/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    Listening to that video took me right back to college. In 1993, outside Orton Hall, some asshole had one of these alarms installed. It went off every day and often. I'm sure many of the students walking by the car gave it a nudge just to set it off. So annoying.
     Reply
    Joshuman was starred Joshuman was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    03/22/09

    @joshman misses preview: Back in the ol' pizza shop days, I used to have to "flyer" the cars in apartment parking lots. This one guy had one of those talking alarms with a proximity sensor set so that it went off if you got within 5 feet of his precious 5-year-old piece of crap (can't remember make & model beyond Japanese and vanilla). I always wondered if his neighbors hated that car as much as I did. Judging by the number of key scratches that his alarm somehow didn't prevent, I'm guessing yes.
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/22/09

    @Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: Yeah, proximity alarms are about the only valid reason for automotive vandalism.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    03/22/09

    @joshman misses preview: The TNA isn't as bad as the "STEP AWAY FROM THE VEHICLE!" voice alarm.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of Deartháir II Deartháir II
    03/22/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    Ms. Martin, you are filled with more awesome than should be allowed by law.


    Have I told you lately that I love you?

     Reply
    Deartháir II was starred Deartháir II was unstarred
    Image of that ain't the way to have fun, son that ain't the way to have fun, son
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    This is the perfect torture.


    Congratulations.


    Another good one would be cooking a couple of turkeys worth of gizzards, then letting them sit, completely still, I'm talking inside an unused oven still, for several days...they'll form a skin which keeps the stink in, trust me on this...then dump them in the contestant's car which you:


    A: want to punish the rest of the race

    B: don't want to see again

    C: immediate vehicle-destruction is both desired yet not punishment enough

     Reply
    that ain't the way to have fun, son was starred that ain't the way to have fun, son was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    03/21/09

    @I may have a 35 mile commute with my beater Mercedes: What, the Chemical Ali isn't cruel enough for you?
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    so lemmy get this right. all i need is a car alarm speaker, a 9-volt battery and a switch? i don't need the modules or anything else?
     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    03/21/09

    @B1663R: That's correct. They're cheap as hell, too.
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    I like Dane Cook's version of the Taiwanese National Anthem:
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of JC Whitless JC Whitless
    03/21/09

    @discontinuuity: Note to self. Discontinuuity has no sense of humor.


    /I treat Dane Cook fans like Lepers.

     Reply
    JC Whitless was starred JC Whitless was unstarred
    Image of bzr bzr
    03/21/09

    @JCWhitless - I'm totally Re-Starded: As people to be pitied and given spare change to?
     Reply
    bzr was starred bzr was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/21/09

    @discontinuuity: Aside from :38 to :50, that was incredibly lame... but hearing Dane Cook do a remarkably accurate rendition of a car alarm was worth it.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice
    03/22/09

    @JCWhitless - I'm totally Re-Starded: I've been clean for almost three years now, I swear it was just a temporary relapse! Really, I'm not a sophomoric lowbrow idiot. I even stopped playing Halo and reading Autoblog!
     Reply
    discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was starred discontinuuity has left the Jalop until further notice was unstarred
    Image of If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    I had a car with one of these sirens. The worst part was when it lost power, the alarm automatically reset itself.


    So, in other words, if the battery was almost dead, it'd start blairing the Taiwanese National Anthem every time you tried to crank the motor.

     Reply
    If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was starred If FromaBuick6 has to watch one more Chevy commercial, he's going to punch Howie Long in the face was unstarred
    Image of Mobius Mobius
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    So basically the Chinese fighters and bombers would see them and target them? That is harsh punishment!
     Reply
    Mobius was starred Mobius was unstarred
    Image of Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    This is amazing. Just amazing.
     Reply
    Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was starred Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was unstarred
    Image of Novaload Novaload
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    You shouldn't have given this away! They'll just show up with earplugs now!


    Truly wicked! Brilliant!

     Reply
    Novaload was starred Novaload was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    Dude, do the Geneva Conventions mean absolutely NOTHING to you?


    Damn I wish I could be at that race.

     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of .357 .357
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    I've heard these sirens many times before. Whenever I try to steal a car and these things go off, I get really pissed because then I have to find another car.
     Reply
    .357 was starred .357 was unstarred
    Image of Pessimippopotamus Pessimippopotamus
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    My god.
     Reply
    Pessimippopotamus was starred Pessimippopotamus was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    Oh, by the way...


    I strongly suggest that if a team arrives at Kershaw having spent far more than 500 clams on their ride of choice, you berate them constantly with some of the cheesiest music to come out of the 1980s.


    Not Nik Kershaw. That'd be too easy.


    No, you must harass them for having "sold out" while pretending not to sell out, for having spent obscene amounts of money on a car with no theme and entering it into a wild-and-crazy banger race.


    You need nonstop We Built This City.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Jonny Lieberman Jonny Lieberman
    03/21/09

    @FurtiveParsnip: We can do much worse.


    Reggae, any form of reggae.


    Also, "Guilty feet have got no rhythm"


    Think about it.

     Reply
    Jonny Lieberman was starred Jonny Lieberman was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    03/21/09

    @Jonny Lieberman: Reggae can be tolerated provided they're potheads... mid-late '90s bubblegum-pop on the other hand will drive anyone insane... the sort of auditory refuse, which despite, or, perhaps, because of, it's hideousness, gets stuck in your head for decades.
     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of Murilee Martin Murilee Martin
    03/21/09

    @FurtiveParsnip: Nothing is worse than "We Built This City."
     Reply
    Murilee Martin was starred Murilee Martin was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/21/09

    @Murilee Martin: I listened to it for about an hour and a half on repeat this afternoon, and I suppose it could theoretically be worse.


    I'm not sure how, but maybe... I dunno... N'Sync?

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of Six Flags Over Tomsk Six Flags Over Tomsk
    03/21/09

    @Murilee Martin: Not even the dulcet tones of William Hung?
     Reply
    Six Flags Over Tomsk was starred Six Flags Over Tomsk was unstarred
    Image of mechimike mechimike
    03/22/09

    @Murilee Martin: I'll roll into Kershaw blasting it from my tow rig.
     Reply
    mechimike was starred mechimike was unstarred
    Image of A strolling player A strolling player
    03/22/09

    @Murilee Martin: I'd rather listen to that than "Achy Breaky Heart" for twenty-four hours. Easily.
     Reply
    A strolling player was starred A strolling player was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/22/09

    @A promenading performer: I can do you one better, though, as both of those songs are bad, but catchily bad.
     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of something_unique_and_descriptive something_unique_and_descriptive
    03/22/09

    @FurtiveParsnip: I can think of worse, I grew up in the '90s.


    WARNING!!!!!

    If you would like to retain your sanity

    and not have an absolutely horrible song from ~10 years ago stuck in your head for the next month

    STOP READING NOW!!!!


    The "artists" and "songs" I'm about to mention are so powerfully horrible that simply the mention of their name shall bring to front the deep emotional, psychological and, possibly, even physical scars that everyone alive during the period of their release bears:










    I warned you:

    Spice Girls

    Hanson

    Celine Dion

    98 degrees or any other "boy band"

    Madonna's cover of "American Pie"

    Ace of Bass

    Whitney Houston (the one that got played over and over and over and...)

    Smash Mouth

    Creed

    Nickelback

    Whatever that steaming pile Kevin Federline did

    Vanilla Ice (or "better" yet Rob Van Winkle covering Vanilla Ice, yes, he did hardcore covers of his Vanilla Ice shit... yes, it' as bad as you'd think)

     Reply
    something_unique_and_descriptive was starred something_unique_and_descriptive was unstarred
    Image of tgpt tgpt
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    Although you don't hear them that often anymore, when I first moved to my airport-adjacent neighborhood they went off so regularly that some of the local birds imitated them.
     Reply
    tgpt was starred tgpt was unstarred
    Image of mikedrawcar mikedrawcar
    03/21/09

    @tgpt: as a resident of downtown detroit, I still hear them frequently.
     Reply
    mikedrawcar was starred mikedrawcar was unstarred
    Image of Jonny Lieberman Jonny Lieberman
    03/21/09

    @tgpt: Yup, we had some feral parrots in the neighborhood that sang the anthem non-stop.


    LA is weird.

     Reply
    Jonny Lieberman was starred Jonny Lieberman was unstarred
    Image of Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp
    03/21/09

    @Jonny Lieberman: I concluded long ago that Southern California is where America puts it's weirdos that aren't dumb enough for Florida.


    This bit of trivia codifies my suspicion as fact.

     Reply
    Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was starred Paul Y. can't get in the club; gotta parking lot pimp was unstarred
    Image of Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
    03/21/09

    @mikedrawcar: Tell me about it. What is it about the low-class types in this area that they think that setting off their own f*ck!ng car alarms at all hours of the day and night makes them cool?
     Reply
    Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was starred Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face. was unstarred
    Image of domino domino
    03/22/09

    @mikedrawcar: @Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: that's what i was going to say, this won't be effective for anyone who has lived in detroit. every place i lived in the city had these alarms going off frequently, sometimes the same car would go off several times a day whenever the owner opened the door.
     Reply
    domino was starred domino was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    03/21/09

    In reply to Potential LeMons South Miscreants Beware: The Taiwanese National Anthem Penalty!
    The old 'Alarm would be much improved by a couple suburban white kids layin' some wack rhymes over its dope beats.


    Not too many things would, but this is the exception.

     Reply
    MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
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