Jalopnik
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celebrities
Paris Hilton Eggs $1.4 Million Bugatti Veyron?
The latest trend for young, female role models? Throwing eggs. Paris Hilton joined Lindsay Lohan on the egging bandwagon after several cars, including a $1.4 million Bugatti Veyron, were vandalized during a house party. More »
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By Wes SilerComment by Deartháir - Now with more Unemployment™!: She threw an egg... at a VEYRON!? That's it. She's done. Fucking kill her. End of story. Sniper shot to the... 33 Responses | Other threads
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custom cars
Bentley Continental GT Craves Death After Being Wronged By Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton treats herself to a grotesque Christmas present by slathering a Continental GT in pink livery and oversized wheels courtesy of West Coast Customs. Follow us into the gaping maw of obsessive opulence.
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Comment by Ash78: What's pink, fast, and can fit two people inside (or four if you really try)? 10 Responses | Other threads
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alternative energy
Paris Hilton Responds To John McCain's Anti-Celebrity Ad With Reasonable Energy Policy
Noted car washing and star SLR-egressing celebutard Paris Hilton aired a web video lampooning a negative campaign ad by Sen. John McCain (R-Colonel's Chicken) trying to pin Sen. Barack Obama (D-Paparazzi) as a "bigger celebrity" than Paris or Britney Spears. The tongue-in-cheek video lampoons John "old dude" McCain and Barack "hope machine" Obama through actually proposing a sensible energy policy that merges the energy policies of both campaigns that would include "limited offshore drilling with strict environmental oversight while creating tax incentives to get Detroit making hybrid and electric cars...creating new jobs." Sounds reasonable to us. Full video after the jump. And look, we even managed to not make a "that's hot" joke. More »
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By Ray WertComment by X5SoB went to Jamaica!: @Bob1967:You've gotta think that good hotel in the capital of France has got to be a little embarrassed by all... more » | Other threads
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rubbing is racing
Paris Hilton caught kissing Kasey Kahne? [NY Daily News]
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celebrities
Paris Hilton passes gas. We know the headline's supposed to include the word "on," but she's driving a Ford Escape hybrid. [TMZ] -
paris hilton is like, hawt, and stuff!
Paris Hilton's cousin Brooke settled her lawsuit today relating to the 2004 freeway accident she's accused of causing. We can now all sleep easy tonight. [TMZ] -
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By Ray WertComment by Hyman Decent: I found this Q&A by an AP writer on Yahoo! News. Here are the questions and answers I found most... more » | Other threads
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i am the bullrun god
Bullrun 2007: Paris Hilton's A No-Show In Montreal!
We didn't see her last night at the pre-party, and now we're hearing TMZ's reporting that Paris won't be here for the kick-off of the 2007 Bullrun. Apparently that doesn't exclude her from the rest of the stops in the rally, but she won't be here in Montreal today. While we're somewhat ambivalent, we know all of you probably have something you want to add. More » -
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Comment by Stoatmaster: Shouldn't she be in something that matches herself? I.e. cosmetic enhancement of a flawed base, unreliable, high maintenance, and marketed... more » | Other threads
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news
We're Laughing At You: Paris Hilton Might Face 90 Days In The Hoosegow
Here's a tip - if you are a mutli-gazillionaire-ess, pay someone to drive you around. Seriously, hire Colin McRae or any of the three Los Jalops that live in LA to hoon you about in your drophead Bentley GTC. So what if Bumbeck fills the rear seats with mid-eighties rising sun spare parts? At least you won't go to effing jail. Or better yet, hire someone whose sole job it is to whisper in your ear that if your license has suspended because you got nailed while driving drunk, it is best not to speed around the Westside at night with your headlights off. Even better, donate all you are worth to stem cell research in hopes that they can find a cure for vapidness, idiocy and awfulness. What's that? Right, herpes, too. More »
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Comment by JohnCAnderson: Here's a little ditty I wrote in honor of Paris's being parked in the pokey, sometime soon--- IF THERE IS A... more » | Other threads
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news
Paris Hilton Violates Probation, Gets Bentley Continental GTC Hauled Away In West Hollywood
According to TMZ, everyone's favorite celbrawhore, Paris Hilton, saw her $170,000-plus Bentley Continental GTC hauled away on a flatbed (which Bentley folks tell us is the correct way to have your vehicle towed so as not to void your warranty) yesterday in front of the West Hollywood Virgin megastore. According to TMZ:"Paris' publicist, Elliot Mintz, tells TMZ the heiress was exiting the parking structure which "is brightly lit so she had not noticed that her headlights were not activated." As she drove a few blocks, she was confronted by other bright lights — those of the L.A. County Sheriff's Department.
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celebrities
Paris Hilton: Still Dumber Than Shit
Man, we were all set tolook at porngo to bed when the all-knowing, all-glowing Jalopnik brain alerted us to this piece of pseudo-news. Apparently, she ran out of gas in her new Bentley Continental GTC after leaving a hair salon. That's the new convertible Bentley for those who hate alpha-numeric names. What we hate is that, well, if Team Jalopnik had a 550hp drophead Bentley we wouldn't run out of gas anywhere near a barber shop. We'd be on lap 53 at Willow Springs and the empty fuel tank would save our kosher bacon because the lo-pro tires have about seven-minutes left to live. Fine, we'd on our way to the Morongo Casino for some Poker, but you get the idea. Now, if you'll excuse us, we're beat. More »
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Comment by iamjames: MosH8ed: Did you mean bone here or her? I'm thinking you meant her, but maybe there's some witty... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
How'd She Get The SLR Back? The Paris Hilton And Friends Post-DUI Video
We were always under the impression that if you get a DUI, your car gets impounded — even if you're Paris Hilton. We dunno if there's a clause in the law for celebs like Paris — or maybe the law is if you're found guilty — regardless, we don't remember what happened last time. We kid. Either way, we didn't think you could just get someone to pick you up in your own car after you post bail, which is what seems to be happening with celeb-whore Paris Hilton. Is this video proof of another case of the LAPD showing some leniency to a celeb? And who the hell is giggling on the video during the first few seconds of the tape? And most importantly, how does Paris' spokes-whore Elliot Mintz look so calm at 4:00 AM — is it valium, or something more? Whatevs — we're getting bored of the whole story — so can't someone smack up the McLaren or tell Paris to get her freak on? Let's make this salacious, people! [Hat tip to tr!] More » -
celebrities
The Benz Is The Problem: More On The Paris Hilton DUI
The New York Times/AP are reporting Paris Hilton was driving her Mercedes-Benz SLR McLaren torque monster when she was pulled over by LAPD last night for "erratic driving." We're surprised the spokes-whore of Hollywood's hawtest celeb-whore, Elliot Mintz, hasn't yet implicated the car in the DUI yet — because if you click the jump, you'll see that the German side of the German-American hybrid's been implicated in all sorts of drunken tomfoolery — even some drunken Wert-foolery. So just so you know Mintz, we've had all sorts of success in blaming them for such things for years. [Hat tip to SwatLax! Hat tip on the jump picture to Mike Austin!] More »
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By Ray WertComment by Al Navarro: Okay, I know that she's been with other guys and all, but to be the passenger side rear fender on... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
That's Not Hawt: Paris Hilton Arrested For DUI, Claims "Fatigue"
Late last night, Paris Hilton was pulled over and arrested by LAPD while "driving erratically" in Hollywood. An LAPD spokesperson claimed she "exhibited the symptoms of intoxication" and Hilton performed a field sobriety test, which she failed, leading to her arrest and subsequent charge with a DUI. Hilton's spokesperson, Elliot Mintz, went on to claim that police detected merely the California minimum B.A.C. level of 0.08%, and "[Hilton] was driving home from a celebrity appearance at a charity event where she only had one drink." When asked what happened to cause her erratic driving... More »
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By Ray WertComment by Mike the Dog: I'm with Twitch and roadrager, the more press (even negative press) that this lousy excuse for a hosebag gets, the... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
Paris Hilton Sued In Non-Hit-And-Run Car Crash
One of us remembers that time when our parents were out of town on vacation and we decided to cut loose. It was all going fine until we made the mistake of taking Dad's Porsche out for a ride and accidentally drove it into the river. Wait a second...maybe that was 'Risky Business' — we can't remember...all of the 80's was such a coke-induced haze anyway. The point is we know what it's like to accidentally get into trouble with someone else's car — just like Paris Hilton's cousin. Apparently, Brooke Ashley Brinson identified herself at the scene of an accident in Los Angeles as Paris Hilton's cousin — and she was driving a Mercedes registered to Hilton. According to the lawsuit obtained by our friends at TMZ:
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celebrities
Paparazzi Left Paris Hilton Dazed And Confused After Car Crash; Momentarily Forgot Name And Address
So it looks like the young and dumb and full of fun socialite, Paris Hilton is now claiming the reason she didn't leave any contact information, despite California's statutory requirement, after her hit and run last week was because she was momentarily dazed by the flashes of the light bulbs and shouted questions of the paparazzi. Which begs us to ask — does this mean if she weren't followed around by the paparazzi, would she be a frickin' rocket scientist? Just wondering.
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By Ray WertComment by Mike the Dog: If she was so darned flustered and put out by the paparazzi, why did she roll down her window and... more » | Other threads
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news
Paris Hilton's Hit And Run: Breaking The Law Twice In LA
Paris — this is what happens when you spend too much time worrying about what you and your BFF Kim Kardashian just bought and not enough time looking in your mirror at the rapidly approaching Honda Civic. Luckily, it was merely the Range Rover you smacked the crap out of — and not your Mercedes SLR. But we would've thought you'd learn after your problems earlier in the week. Apparently ya haven't, because as our friends at the HuffPo point out earlier today: More »
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By Ray WertComment by drewheyman: maybe she heard the beep, she just ignored it because she has something against honda civics. if you listen... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
So How Exactly Is Paris Hilton Handicapped?
We're one of the first people who grumbles whenever we walk past a handicap parking spot and see some Prada-wearing and Gucci-carrying trophy wife unable to walk the extra 30 feet from her Hummer to the door of the local Whole Foods. We mean, come on — why do we get the hassle from the 5-0 when we're not coming to a complete stop at a deserted intersection, but a man in blue ain't around for li'l miss when she gets out of her car. That being said, somebody please tell us why Paris Hilton is able to do what today's Page Six claims: More »
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By Ray WertComment by schmorsepower: I suspect that someone who can afford that car can also afford to pay whatever parking tickets she may get. more » | Other threads
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celebrities
Paris Loses Bentley in Poker Game, Somehow Keeps Clothes On
Okay, we're sorry for the second Paris Hilton post in the same day. But don't go reach for the sanitizing wipes just yet — there is still no evidence that herpes can be contracted electronically. Anyway, young Paris loves poker. She loves it so much she can't help herself from betting away her Bentley Continental GT. That makes us feel better about our overpair getting stacked to a flush draw last weekend at Motor City Casino, but that was a few hundred bucks — this is a $165,000 Bentley. Rumor has it that Ma and Pa Hilton have barred her from their Vegas casinos. Click the jump to see a NSFW uncensored close up. That's hot.
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celebrities
A Paris Hilton Type Dilemma: Getting In And Out of That New Mercedes SLR
We're not quite sure what's more interesting/disturbing about this set of photos. There's the fact that Paris Hilton looks puzzled and takes some time and wrangling to close the doors of her new $400,000 car. That's pretty disturbing/expected. But we can also marvel at that fact that the Mercedes-Benz SLR's scissor doors allow the stickpole skank to park that close to a Ferrari 360 Modena Spyder and still get in and out of her car. Or maybe we're just incredibly turned on by the hard time she's having — either way, we'll show her how those flappin' doors work — after we give her a similarly hard time.
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By David ThomasComment by kurtdaniel: It was very pretty sight! A Kool Vue, but i bet she just uses it to pop down the shops... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
Paris Does McLaren: Hilton Gets an SLR
Somewhere, probably in Switzerland, some postmodernist philosopher's computer predicted this day would come. Think about it. If you dumped every single cultural cue over the past three years into a computer and ran every possible combination, the odds of Paris Hilton showing up at a Los Angeles restaurant in a Mercedes McLaren SLR would be about 97% (with Brad and Angelina a solid 100%). Now that it's happened we feel kind of nauseated. More »
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Comment by ParanoidAndroid07: Wonder how long it will take her to wreck it? more » | Other threads
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news
Adventures in Inebriated Nitespot Decamping With Paris Hilton and Her Greek Lover!
Woe to us for ignoring our Angeleno brother, national treasure and soon-to-be-neighbor Defamer for a few days. Paris Hilton's latest Greek God (don't make us tell the old "No matter what he says, don't turn over on your wedding night" joke), Stavros Niarchos smacked a Continental GT-load of partiers square into the back of a truck early Wednesday morning while attempting to leave LA nightspot Element. The po-po, quickly on the scene, didn't administer a sobriety test to Niarchos, instead sending the crew on their merry way with a fare-thee-well. Meanwhile, we get our asses handed to us for doing sixteen over on the way to Canter's for a sandwich in a rented Grand Prix. Like Randy Newman, we fucking love LA. [Internal] More »
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Comment by Robert Farago: Spot Check Billy, got down on his hands and knees, he said 'Hey Mama Hey, let me check your all alright' She... more » | Other threads
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celebrities
So Not Hot: Paris Hilton Snubbed by Valet for Messy Land Rover
A Beverly Hills valet refused to park Paris Hilton's Land Rover recently because it was a mess, the London Daily Record reported this week. "Company policy" prohibited the valet — who, not quite ironically, worked for an upscale car-cleaning service — from handling the SUV, reportedly cluttered with magazines, make-up, handbags, junk and (please hold for Dr. O. Gross) "a lot of underwear." [Update: FYI — it's from the Glasgow Daily Record, not the seemingly fictional "London Daily Times." Remember kids, friends don't let friends drink and post.] More »
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