Paris Hilton Responds To John McCain's Anti-Celebrity Ad With Reasonable Energy Policy

Noted car washing and star SLR-egressing celebutard Paris Hilton aired a web video lampooning a negative campaign ad by Sen. John McCain (R-Colonel's Chicken) trying to pin Sen. Barack Obama (D-Paparazzi) as a "bigger celebrity" than Paris or Britney Spears. The tongue-in-cheek video lampoons John "old dude" McCain… »8/06/08 8:30am8/06/08 8:30am

Paris Checks In To Jail, We Lose Easy Jokes For Three Weeks

As you can see from the TMZ video above, Paris surrendered herself to the authorities out in Cali last night to serve her sentence for violation of parole after her DUI. That means for the next 45 days (23 as long as Paris is on good behavior), we'll be totally Paris-free. That's three long weeks without glimpses of… »6/04/07 10:15am6/04/07 10:15am

Our God is an Unfair God: Paris Hilton to Drive a Spyker C8 Spyder in Bullrun

Anybody out there got any new ways to make fun of Paris? We're running low. Though if you watch the video taken by the lovable scamps at TMZ you will notice she employs a 300-pound man to make sure she doesn't spill her latte on her Bentley's soft top. Twit. Anyhow, the good folks at the Bullrun have apparently… »4/27/07 2:23pm4/27/07 2:23pm

We're Laughing At You: Paris Hilton Might Face 90 Days In The Hoosegow

Here's a tip - if you are a mutli-gazillionaire-ess, pay someone to drive you around. Seriously, hire Colin McRae or any of the three Los Jalops that live in LA to hoon you about in your drophead Bentley GTC. So what if Bumbeck fills the rear seats with mid-eighties rising sun spare parts? At least you won't go to… »3/31/07 1:26pm3/31/07 1:26pm

Paris Hilton Violates Probation, Gets Bentley Continental GTC Hauled Away In West Hollywood

According to TMZ, everyone's favorite celbrawhore, Paris Hilton, saw her $170,000-plus Bentley Continental GTC hauled away on a flatbed (which Bentley folks tell us is the correct way to have your vehicle towed so as not to void your warranty) yesterday in front of the West Hollywood Virgin megastore. According to TMZ: »2/28/07 3:47pm2/28/07 3:47pm

How'd She Get The SLR Back? The Paris Hilton And Friends Post-DUI Video

We were always under the impression that if you get a DUI, your car gets impounded — even if you're Paris Hilton. We dunno if there's a clause in the law for celebs like Paris — or maybe the law is if you're found guilty — regardless, we don't remember what happened last time. We kid. Either way, we didn't think you… »9/07/06 11:53am9/07/06 11:53am