It's not a Stutz, but another great American marque resurrected during the Malaise era: Packard. OK, so it's not really a Packard. Underneath it's just an '85 Buick Riviera that's obviously been stretched...a lot. That white Cadillac Eldorado you see in the background felt like a Civic Coupe next to this thing. Just look at it sitting there; you can actually see the curvature of the Earth relative to it! What's better, this wasn't just a crazed one-off creation: There's a second one that's identical! In fact, there were a bunch of these neo-Packards made, starting back in the late '70s. The guy responsible was a coachbuilder in Ohio named Budd Bayliff, who apparently liked the style of the contemporary Stutz cars but wanted to recreate that look with fewer modifications. Up close, it's blatantly obvioius that much of what made this a "Packard" was a conglomeration of chromed plastic emblems. Nonetheless, if a new Malaise era means we get death wagons like this, we're all for it.

[madle.org]

When you're done with that, you'll probably want to go see the other videos shot by this Packard-powered genius.

Packard made their flathead straight-eight engine for several decades, from 1924 through 1954; the largest displacement was the 359-cubic-inch version. By the time the DOTS 1953 Packard Cavalier was built, all of Packard's competition was boasting V8 power (including quite a few overhead-valve V8s) making the old inline eight seem old-fashioned (not to mention its 1,000-pound-plus weight). But you want torque? Of course you do! Sorry, wasn't able to find a single comprehensive Packard engine site, but this Studecentric site has a pretty decent rundown of the postwar engines: [Studebaker-Info.org]

These two PCH candidates arrived courtesy of two separate tipsters, and while the Official Tipster T-Shirt Obtainment Rules state that a tipster must send in two Hell Project suggestions that make it into this series, I'm going to go ahead and send out a shirt apiece here.

The German word for "ambulance" is "Krankenwagen." Krankenwagen! I already want my own Krankenwagen, if only for the name. But wait, there's more- it's an Opel Admiral! Believe it or not, a mere 450 Euros (and shipping from Austria) will obtain this beautiful 1972 Opel Admiral ambulance. Ach! I'm going to do a quick translation of the description, which I feel qualified to do in spite of not understanding German: Needs work. Lots of work. Now, before the distance and all the hard-to-get parts and everything else scare you away, just picture yourself rolling down your town's main drag in a restored Admiral Krankenwagen... with a blown small-block Chevy under the hood. Thanks- and a T-shirt- to Franzouse for the tip!

If you're shopping for vintage ambulances, it would be hard to beat a genuine Admiral Krankenwagen in the two most important Project Car Hell departments: coolness and impossibility. But we've got one here that just might achieve that goal- what would say if we told you where to get a 1949 Packard ambulance for just $2000? A genuine Yankenwagen? You'd just laugh, and then we'd say, no, really. And then you'd laugh some more, only with less force, and then you'd stay up all night thinking about that Packard and how much fun you'd have driving it around, and the next day you'd be on the phone to Puyallup (bonus points if you can pronounce it correctly) to make an offer. There's rust. There's a mystery engine in a crate. But you get that wonderfully vintage siren-and-red-lights setup and, well, just look at this thing! Cherry Bombs and fat tires are all it needs... plus some bodywork and probably a new interior and a few other things. Thanks and a T-shirt to Jimmy for the tip!

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Our first car is a Frankenstein Special out of the Reno area; after its mad-scientist creator shot a man just to watch him die (but before he got sent to Folsom), he stuck a '54 Packard body onto a '72 Buick frame. We don't know what kind of Buick provided the frame, but we do know it has a torque-bomb 455! No, it doesn't run, but according to the seller it just needs some "minor motor work" to roar off into the desert. Does "minor" mean points and plugs, or bad rod bearings? It'll cost you 800 clams to find that out, cowboy!

You say you only buy projects that run right now? This here 1958 Rambler American (suggested by our tipster pal Alex) is the project for you! It just needs some interior work. Uh, and some exterior work, too. But so what? It runs, and it's got a pushbutton shifter to boot! And fins! There's a bit of confusion about the asking price; the listing title says $500, but the listing body contains the statement "The price is only $600.00 and is as low as I will go."

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First we have this creampuff of a 1950 DeSoto Deluxe sedan. Sure, it's missing the grille and the engine looks like it hasn't turned over since LBJ was president, but are you going to let that stop you from taking on a project with such huge potential payoff? Look at how beautiful it is, and it's just waiting for your healing hands (and wallet) to get it back on the road again! One nice thing about this car is that it shares a lot of components with other not-impossible-to-find Chrysler products of the era. Only $975 or best offer for a shrewd wheeler-dealer such as yourself, and the seller might even throw in the tow chain for free! The seller doesn't waste our time with description, letting the photos tell the whole story.

But when you get right down to it, you deserve better than a car with a 112-horse flathead six-banger. Why not spend the extra 25 bucks and score yourself a car with a 374-cube OHV V8 rated at 290 horsepower? Well, maybe a few of the horses have escaped this car's engine over the decades, but it's still a Packard! In fact, it's a Packard Patrician, a name that just radiates dignity and authority. Does it run? Sure! It just needs, er, "a couple of things." We're guessing they're fairly expensive things. But don't worry, because you can save a few bucks by trading the seller your gun safe, or maybe your '83 Bronco lift kit; come on, ya cheapskate- the seller has already marked this car 50% off!

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Today we'll be looking at one of several Packards that still roam Alameda's streets. I'm not sure what it is about Packards in this town, but up until a the early 90s there was a shop downtown that specialized in Packard repair and referred to itself as a Packard dealer, so apparently there's a hard core of Packardheads on the island.

And why not? This is a helluva good-looking car.

The Cavalier for '53 came with a 327-cube straight-8 that purred out a respectable 180 horses. This one packs the two-speed Ultramatic automatic. Now there's a good transmission name!

As has happened with a couple of other cars I've photographed for this series, the owner (in this case, the owner's daughter) came out and offered to sell me the car, which drives just fine. Tempting... very tempting!

The interior is still in pretty good shape.

I'm pretty sure nobody is going to confuse this car with the 80s GM product with the same name.

The list price of the '53 Cavalier was $3234. For comparison's sake, the entry-level '53 Ford sedan sold for $1743 and a '53 Jaguar Mark VII went for $4170.

The trim details are just gorgeous; the Cavalier was a respectably high-end car in its day.

Packard was pretty much done after the '56 model year, although some rebadged Studebakers were sold as Packards for the '57 and '58 model years. It's a shame they joined the long list of American carmakers to downward-spiral into oblivion in the postwar era. – Murilee Martin

Related:
What Will Become of Detroit's Packard Plant? [internal]

You're talking classic film noir, you're talking Double Indemnity. It's got a Billy Wilder/James M. Cain screenplay, Edward G. Robinson's best role ever, Barbara Stanwyck in the worst blond wig ever, some snappy repartee, etc... but who cares about that stuff? This movie has some great cars! As in Fred MacMurray's '38 Dodge- definitely the car of choice for murdering insurance fraudsters- and of course the most anxiety-inducing "car won't start" scene in motion picture history, when the getaway Packard balks at leaving the murder scene. Unfortunately, this is the best excerpt I could find on YouTube; you get the Dodge but not the Packard. – Murilee Martin

Related:
Asploding for Effect: Magnum Force [internal]

Some moons ago, we had a roommate who hailed from France; a wacky artist character who stoked our love of happy Francomobiles and Hayabusas. He also had a tendency toward pronouncing "Packard" as "Picard," which triggered our unfortunate mental "Whoomp! Make it so!" response. (Don't ask.) But we can't think of Packards and the wacky nutters who lovingly own and maintain them without hankering for a good cup of Earl Grey and a glimpse at Wil Wheaton's blog. Meanwhile, a guy by the name of Dave Lindsay can't stay away from SoCal auto events. Click over and check out the business end of the All-Packard Swap Meet. Engage! – Davey G. Johnson

All-Packard Swap Meet [fotki]

Related:
God Bless Martin Swig: The Anti-Football Run! [Internal]

Packard moved out 50 years ago, after their merger with Studebaker. But the headquarters and plant in Detroit still stand. The city calls the site, with its proximity to rail, ripe for redevelopment, but mostly, it just sits forlornly with a total of twelve employees to fill its nearly 4 million square feet of space. Meanwhile, the City's laid claim to the site, but is tied up in court with others who claim to own the property. When we see stuff like this, it genuinely bums us out, as Detroit has some truly amazing buildings that are ripe for urban renewal. Meanwhile, they sit unoccupied and crumbling. The Detroit Free Press has the story, as well as a short video doc on the plant. [Thanks to Pete for the tip.]

Link to the past left to rot away; A tour of the Packard plant [Detroit Free Press]

Related:
More People Mover Fun! [Internal]

Goodyear's rolling out their Wingfoot Express 1917 Packard 3-ton truck, a replica of the first commercial truck to roll on pneumatic tires, to promote the opening of various Wingfoot Commercial Tire Centers. During the Wilson administration, the truck made the 740-mile trip from Akron to New England in 28 days, using up just as many tires in the process. 21 days late, the two-man team and their film crew made it to Goodyear's fabric mill in Killingly, CT, where much to their surprise they were greeted by Mission of Burma a brass band and hundreds of cheerful mill workers. Later on in Akron, Devo started, but we're not sure if Mothersbaugh, Casale, et. al. ever saved a freight car for Uncle Sam.

Related:
We Even Saw the Lights of the Goodyear Blimp... [Internal]