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Detroit, 4:57 AM
Mon Nov 30
13 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of Blix Blix
    11/07/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    As undesirable as '93 Taurus may seem, the wagon is the shit. My family still owns ours, and despite looking like garbage and smelling like fish, it's too useful to let go. We've moved whole studio apartments in the back of that thing and it just won't quit. AND fully loaded with crap it gets at least 23 mpg. As embarrassing as it may look and sound (it has a distinctive whine at this point in its life), it's seriously an invaluable car. I hope these cheap, cavernous wagons make a comeback b/c I can't think of any family who wouldn't benefit from a car with its unbelievable utility and fuel economy. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    powermatic promoted this comment Blix was starred Blix was unstarred
    Image of danio3834 danio3834
    11/07/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    I lol'd hard. Well done. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    danio3834 was starred danio3834 was unstarred
    Image of powermatic powermatic
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    Second only to 'Victim In Fatal Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck' as week's best Onion story. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    powermatic was starred powermatic was unstarred
    Image of that ain't the way to have fun, son that ain't the way to have fun, son
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    The Onion rocks.

    Not all of their 'articles' are humorous, and I don't like all of them, either, but I laugh a few times, typically quite-heartily, while peeling though the layers of one.

    I need to find a distribution point closeby. Unfortunately, I work in a part of town in which reading is probably an offense which results in gunshot wounds.
     Reply
    Edited by that ain't the way to have fun, son at 11/06/09 5:48 PM that ain't the way to have fun, son was starred that ain't the way to have fun, son was unstarred
    Image of Touched Touched
    11/06/09

    @I was drivin' that Model A: That is why the Onion is on the internets. Read as much as you like and no one is the wiser. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    I was drivin' that Model A promoted this comment Touched was starred Touched was unstarred
    Image of that ain't the way to have fun, son that ain't the way to have fun, son
    11/06/09

    @Touched: Yeah, but I like reading off paper many times. Jalopnik wouldn't work on paper, but that, and the local weekly free papers, do. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    that ain't the way to have fun, son was starred that ain't the way to have fun, son was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon: I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/06/09

    @I was drivin' that Model A: So, you're looking for something to read in the restroom? I don't understand the paper thing. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    I was drivin' that Model A promoted this comment Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of that ain't the way to have fun, son that ain't the way to have fun, son
    11/06/09

    @Shamoononon: I shave my legs.:

    Nope, not for toilet use, but just for both portability and convenience.

    Plus, there is something about reading actual printed words. Tough to explain, but being more than 40 years old, it might be an age-related thing.

    I dig on TiVO, high-performance computers, and my V1, but there are some things which just embrace the "old". Reading for pleasure, wherein you don't have the ability to comment, is one. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    that ain't the way to have fun, son was starred that ain't the way to have fun, son was unstarred
    Image of Shamoononon: I shave my legs. Shamoononon: I shave my legs.
    11/06/09

    @I was drivin' that Model A: I was just giving you a hard time. I work with computers all day, by the time I get home my eyes can't handle the screen anymore. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was starred Shamoononon: I shave my legs. was unstarred
    Image of Tiberiuswise is all ate up with sarcasm Tiberiuswise is all ate up with sarcasm
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    Normally I'm a big fan of the Onion. Jim Anchower is like a hero to me and I revel in Jean Teasdales torrents of lameness.

    This clip though.... I just don't get how it is supposed to be funny. All I see is a less than clever dig at a company made up of good peopole, fighting an only partially deserved bad rap, a horrible economy and doing it without government hand outs.

    Seriously, hasn't "The Big Three Suck" been played out (if it was ever "funny" to begin with)? Hasn't almost everyone finally admitted that there's some good cars coming from 'Merican companuies lately? What is the point of going back to this schlock?

    Maybe I'm to close to this situation to be objective. I depend on a paycheck from an american company to support my family. Maybe those who think this is funny don't. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    bzr promoted this comment Tiberiuswise is all ate up with sarcasm was starred Tiberiuswise is all ate up with sarcasm was unstarred
    Image of Turboner Turboner
    11/06/09

    @Tiberiuswise: Hasn't "Primus sucks!" been played out, too? ;) #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Turboner was starred Turboner was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    11/06/09

    @Tiberiuswise: The Onion is usually funny 'cause it's sad and true. Ford shmord, this was a joke about the economy.

    Personally I'm a great fan of coffin humor, definitely the best way to deal with crisis and heartache. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of sos10 sos10
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    hilarious #fordtaurus
     Reply
    sos10 was starred sos10 was unstarred
    Image of maximum-sienna maximum-sienna
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    Not really funny. Used cars make sense for people who can't afford new. If you didn't know that before hand, then there's a reason why your house and car are being repossessed. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    beercheck promoted this comment maximum-sienna was starred maximum-sienna was unstarred
    Image of beercheck beercheck
    11/06/09

    @maximum-sienna: Pull my finger. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    beercheck was starred beercheck was unstarred
    Image of Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est
    11/06/09

    @maximum-sienna: You're absolutely right. Would you also like to renew your subscription to Consumer Affairs? #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was starred Mr.choppers - Delenda Carthago Est was unstarred
    Image of günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    please god let this be true..... i will even shell out the extra 257 dollars i don't have to get the 5-speed sho model!!!

    aww crap... the onion leads me to false hopes......... #fordtaurus
     Reply
    günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi was starred günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi was unstarred
    Image of Jeff Landy Jeff Landy
    11/06/09

    @günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi: did you say 257 less? Your wish is my command! (transmission not included)

    [oklahomacity.craigslist.org] #fordtaurus
     Reply
    günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi promoted this comment Jeff Landy was starred Jeff Landy was unstarred
    Image of günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi
    11/06/09

    @Jeff Landy: less, less? i have a new pch candidate! tip off the editors and this model will be snapped up quickly!

    we're always looking for moreLeMons candidates! #fordtaurus
     Reply
    günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi was starred günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi was unstarred
    Image of Maymar Maymar
    11/06/09

    @günter macbeetle, codename: chrystlubitshi: If you're ok with the standard 3.1L engine (and really, who wouldn't want that GM-derived powerhouse?), the base '93 Taurus has a "5-speed stick shift" (according to the ad). I mean, I'm sold. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Maymar was starred Maymar was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    I laughed, I cried. Too true to be funny. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    11/06/09

    In reply to Ford Unveils New 1993 Taurus For 2010 Model Year!
    Like actual onions, I don't consider The Onion very funny.

    Jalopnik does an excellent job of planting the tongue firmly in the cheek, raising the eyebrow, and glancing askant at the world in general and the vehicluar world in particular. Jalopnik need not sully itself with the broad, blunt strokes of The Onion. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
    11/06/09

    @Elhigh: Hear Hear! Also, I was rather disappointed when I realized this wasn't real. Ol' Jonny Lieberman already got me with this on Autoblog earlier. Don't get me wrong, I love Ol' Jonny, but what a douche move. Who wouldn't get excited over a $650 car?
     Reply
    Edited by wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx at 11/06/09 4:41 PM wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was starred wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was unstarred
    Image of Paul Y. don't drive too fast. Paul Y. don't drive too fast.
    11/06/09

    @wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx: "Who wouldn't get excited over a $650 car?"

    LeMons teams? #fordtaurus
     Reply
    Paul Y. don't drive too fast. was starred Paul Y. don't drive too fast. was unstarred
    Image of wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
    11/06/09

    @Paul Y. don't drive too fast.: Haha, bravo! Its hard to believe this piece of shit wouldn't qualify, isn't it? Maybe $650 if its the exact 1993 Taurus that Lindsay Lohan lost her virginity in, but thats pushing it. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was starred wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was unstarred
    Image of dragon951 dragon951
    11/06/09

    @wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx: Yeah, but who wants to say they got the clap from a Taurus #fordtaurus
     Reply
    lilwillie promoted this comment dragon951 was starred dragon951 was unstarred
    Image of lilwillie lilwillie
    11/06/09

    @dragon951:

    excellent. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    lilwillie was starred lilwillie was unstarred
    Image of wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx
    11/06/09

    @dragon951: Ash Ketchum doesn't. I have low hope for any of you getting that joke. Old people. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was starred wrx-tyrannosaurusWrx was unstarred
    Image of powermatic powermatic
    11/07/09

    @Elhigh: Not sure of your definition of "blunt strokes", but I'm pretty sure that 'fat people on scooters' ain't exactly subtle. Not a knock on 'Jalopnik'-just sayin'. #fordtaurus
     Reply
    powermatic was starred powermatic was unstarred
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