The Olds and Plymouth wagons were shot by Kitt.






Here's what EJacobs has to say about this Chevy Biscayne wagon: This sucker still does trailering duty for lawn mowing equipment. Much respect for being such a raw, old working 'mobile. Probably would survive most apocalypses. And it's a wagon. The interior is disintegrating. And the rear seats are...folded down, I guess. Somehow, I think that's a permanent feature.

Back in the 80s, when The General still had plenty of money to throw around (even after the back-to-back-to-back energy crises/billion-dollar Wankel engine/Iron Duked Fiero debacles), the engineers and marketing gurus put their heads together and decided that a sporty two-seater with incredibly futuristic all-electronic instrument panels would be just the thing to get Buick buyers to sign on the line that is dotted. Thus was the Reatta created! However, the septua-, octo-, and nonagenarian members of the customer base that made their way into the showrooms to behold the new Buick staggered back in horror from all that newfangledy gadgetry and general lack of Buick solemnity (in spite of last-minute attempts to make the car reassuringly slow and mushy-handling) and the Reatta episode added another grim chapter to the very thick book of Massive GM Business Mistakes. Still, it was a good-looking car with serious performance potential for junkyard-minded individuals today, so it would be nice to find a deal on a solid one, right? The '86 Reatta sold for $26,700 when new- more than a BMW 5 series- but prices are quite reasonable now; in fact, we've found you this '89 Reatta (go here if the ad disappears) with an asking price of only $1,100. It doesn't run ("ran out of gas and won't start again"), but that won't matter once you get a supercharged 3800 for it! Will the Electronic Control Center work? Maybe! If not, how hard could it be to fix?

That Reatta is a pretty sweet machine, and (as Every Single Seller will tell you, hard to find), but say you want a back seat in your Visual Information Center-equipped GM machine, so you can haul along more passengers on your TRON-style journeys? Why, that means you need an Oldsmobile Troféo project, and you'll need an '88 or newer in order to get one with no unsightly Toronado emblems. It's already been demonstrated that the supercharged Buick 3800 swap is pretty easy with this car, which means all you need to do is hand over $750 for this 1990 Olds Trofeo (go here if the ad disappears), which has snazzy red paint and low miles. Don't worry about its non-running condition, because you'll be tearing out that naturally-aspirated boat anchor before you've even had a chance to discover whether or not the VIC dash actually works. The statement "Doesnt Run And Brake Line" is somewhat cryptic, but don't worry about that- just imagine the torque-steering fun you'll have while watching all the flashing lights and space-age bar graphs bounce around the dash! And, speaking of space-age, check out the new poll steroids our hamsters are now mainlining:
t>

Pics taken at C.I.A. Salvage, Limerick Maine- May 5, 2008. I'll leave it to you to wax poetic about the cars if you so choose and/or make jokes at rural Maine's expense, etc.
1) 1946-48 Dodge sedan
2) hood mascot of same
3) 1952 Kaiser Manhattan
4) same
5) 1955 Kaiser Manhattan
6) 1957 Ford firetruck, January 08
7) same, May 08
8) 1960s Falcon Clubwagon
9) 1964 Imperial Crown Coupe- one of 5233
10) tailpanel mascot of same
11) rear side view
12) 1966 Plymouth Belvedere II- 273 V8/auto, For Sale sign on windshield
asking $2K
13) nose of same
14) rear 3/4 of same
15) 1967 Chevy Bel Air
16) 1968 Olds F85
17) nose of same
18) 1968 Mercury Monterey
19) 1968 Plymouth Valiant Signet
20) 1969 Dodge Dart Swinger
21) nose of same
22) 1969 Plymouth Barracuda Formula S
23) badge
24) 1970 Dart Swinger
25) rear view of same
26) 1970-71 Dodge pickup
27) 1970s Opel- I don't know anything about these, maybe you can fill in
the year etc.
28) 1972 Plymouth Scamp
29) rear view of same
30) 1974 Dart Swinger
31) 1974 Buick Estate
32) same

The Journal claims GM has already taken Chevrolet and Cadillac off the table, considering them core to the company. But what about the rest of the lineup?

Saturn: GM's low-price, non-haggle, donut-loving import-fighter brand has reportedly never made a profit. Even with products like the Aura and Astra, it's having trouble making any inroads with consumers despite a loyal fan base. Coupled with the fact GM has reportedly stopped development work on the next-gen Aura, we think Saturn's got a good chance of getting to know Geo in the division dumpster.

Saab: The storied Swedish born-from-jets brand has either been vastly improved or pathetically watered-down during GM's ownership, depending upon whom you talk to. Either way, with only about 35,000 sales per year in the U.S. — about what the Accord sells each month — Saab is probably due for an ownership change.

Buick: If it weren't for Buick's gangbusters Chinese sales and the strong-selling Enclave, we'd be more concerned about the tri-shield brand. Would it go Asian-market only? Possibly, but Buick's made it out alive before, and we think it'll do so again. There are just too many old people out there to sell to.

GMC: GM's truck brand sells rebadged Chevrolets almost exclusively, and Acadia is reportedly already a goner. But the division has a strong brand presence among site foremen who enjoy driving the same vehicle their workers drive, but at a 10% premium. Will that be enough? We give GMC a 50/50 shot.

Pontiac: The performance division has Solstice, the G8, and the reasonably strong-selling G6. Pontiac has always been an image brand as well as a volume brand; is G8 enough to bring that performance image back? We're not so sure...but we don't think Pontiac is going away any time soon.

So, who's following Hummer (and probably about 25,000 current GM employees) out the door? Give us your thoughts. [WSJ]

When I started shooting photos, the owner came out to see what manner of weirdness was being inflicted on his wagon. As is almost always the case, once I explained the DOTS thing to him he was quite enthusiastic about showing off his car to the world, even opening doors and hood so I could get better photos.


The interior has been semi-restored, but most of what you're seeing is original stuff. The 330 Olds engine is the original powerplant, of course.


You could get a new '67 Vista Cruiser for $3,339, a few hundred bucks more than an Impala wagon and about the same as a Ford Country Squire.

I've seen this Oldsmobile Cutlass F85 in San Francisco Chinatown. Sitting around in front of corner of a tourist filled street in front of a shop called Chinatown Bizaar (Sacrmento/Grant). It's almost always in the same spot or within a block or two. Black CA plates, moo cow seat covers and the infamous blue handicap plaque.
It can also be seen on google maps street view at the exact same spot.
BTW I was one of the tourists. Didn't have a lot of time to take the pictures as my group was leaving. There were too many people on the sidewalk in the way, so getting a decent shot was not the easiest.
I imagine that the owner also has this red coupe version as it's in the same parking spot.

I came home from work today, to find this '76 Oldsmobile 98 moored (parked doesn't feel like the right word) in front of my apartment. Unfortunately, neither my camera, or my ability with said camera can capture the epicness of this car. Still, far more interesting than most of the late-model commuter capsules populating Toronto (I'm waiting on a couple older cars to come out of hibernation though).

Incidentally, Oldsmobile's tagline for '76 was "Can we build one for you?" I wish they still could.

VMSoA Broadcast Transcript

Date April 02, 2008
Time 11:45 AM - 12:00 PM
Station Syndicated Radio
Location Network
Program Paul Harvey

RON CHAPMAN, anchor:

And remember about four years ago, General Motors
discontinued their car line known as Oldsmobile. I saw
this story yesterday and I kind of thought it was an April
Fools'. It turns out it's not.

General Motors stopped manufacturing Oldsmobiles, stopped
making them in 2004. David Gluckman of Automobile Magazine
says they apparently also stopped paying any attention to
the name Oldsmobile as well and the copyright on the
Oldsmobile name ran out and nobody at General Motors
noticed. But one person in the US Copyright Office did,
saw the name was freely available, called a relative who
worked for Toyota.

So, as of this day, the name Oldsmobile belongs not to GM
but to Toyota. And they're thinking of using it on a new
mid-level luxury model to be marketed where? Right here in
the United States.

Once again. TOYOTA DOES NOT OWN THE RIGHTS TO PRODUCE OLDSMOBILE. Nor are they stupid enough to try and resurrect that brand. (h/t to good ol' Phil).

[Source: Video Monitoring Services of America]

A few decades before getting the axe from The General, Oldsmobile was moving quite a bit of iron off the showroom floors, mostly Cutlasses but also plenty of wholesome American station wagons like this one.


Sometimes the owner of a DOTS car comes out to see what's going on while I'm shooting the car, and that's what happened with this one. This guy was pleased that his pride and joy was getting such attention, and was even willing to pop the hood and let me get shots of that 185-horse 403 (also known as the "6.6 Liter" under the hood of many a Malaise Trans Am). With 320 ft-lbs on tap, the 403 worked pretty well as a station wagon powerplant.


This is a lifelong Alameda car, having been purchased from the original owner not long ago. It parks on one of the busiest north-south arteries in town, showing all those SUV drivers what a real family hauler looks like.

Those who violate this law are charged a fine of $2,000 and lose their car and their driving license for a week. That mean Old Man McSpeedy is just going to have to take the bus for his high-speed banking and shopping needs. [Globe & Mail]

I found this Cutlass on the same block as the 1954 Ford Mainline and the 1947 Plymouth (and, yes, that's an old Dart parked behind the Olds). This East End block features two old-car aficionados living across the street from each other, each with quite the impressive stable of street-parked classics.


This Cutlass doesn't seem to move much, but at least the shady trees keep damage to the convertible top to a minimum.


I had a friend in high school whose father had purchased a brand-new '69 Cutlass (purple, of course) immediately after immigrating to Alameda from Okinawa; truly an example of the American Dream in action. When my friend turned 16, she got the Olds, which she proceeded to drive at a maximum speed of 17 MPH... until one day she loaned it to a friend who drunkenly slid it into a telephone pole, destroying the entire passenger side. It still ran great, so I bought it for $50 and proceeded to indulge in some of the finest hoonage of my teenage driving career. That 350 engine and Positraction rear were made to order for guh-narly burnouts, and there's nothing like that "Dah-WOOOOO!" sound you get from a Quadrajet carburetor (especially when it's accompanied by Motörhead's "Bang To Rights" on your low-end early-80s cassette deck).


Seriously, GM needs to bring back the marker lights in the shape of the make's logo.

I was quite surprised to see photos of my Toronado limousine posted. I enjoyed most of the comments written about it. I am the third owner the first was a Limousine service called Travel All that at one time worked out of the Town & Country hotel in mission valley. The second owner also a Limousine service Carey San Diego they bought the car in 1973, I bought it from them about four years ago. Unfortunately I have run out of cash to Finnish the need repairs form having been a lawn ornament for five years.
This is my fun car I love driving my car and want to keep it always.
My Toro seats fifteen counting the driver and has a large rear baggage area. The inside is rather basic with five rows or three seats, a/c, manual windows and manual door locks. I have an original am/fm radio and yes an 8-track player to install it has never had a music radio in it. I have had the wheels chromed but it's not holding up well.
When it's running well it lives at home in EL Cajon when it's not It lives in Loma Portal close to my work so I can get to whoever needs to work on it.

Good work, Curtis! Send us the photos of any improvements you make. We suggest applying some 8-71 boost to that 455... and how about sacrificing some of the seating in the back and adding a second 455? It worked for the Hairy Olds, so how could it be wrong for the Toronado Limowagon?

Sure, Chuck D dusted those boys off in an 80s box Ninety-Eight with rear-wheel-drive (and turbocharging, if we are to take his lyrics literally), but you get the idea. Suckers (and Achievas) to the side!

Is this thing actually a crypto-hearse? Or maybe it has a hearse-style rear door because the rear body was partially sourced from a junked hearse?


This is either a '68 or '69 nose, but it's anybody's guess as to how many Oldsmobiles, of what years, gave their lives to make this machine.


The great thing about front-wheel-drive is that you can just keep adding chassis length and rear axles, giving you the room and load capacity to haul as many drunken revelers as the strip club can fit!

We're going to talk about this 1964 Oldsmobile Cutlass convertible first, because the seller is only going to offer this deal for, and I quote, "a VERY LIMITED time!" Now, you might hesitate to call this, uh, deal a car, since in fact it is a big heap of Oldsmobile-themed parts. However, you can turn this heap of parts, plus some time and money- well, OK, a helluva lot of time and money- into a beautiful Cutlass convertible that will turn heads at any locale you deign to grace with your presence. It looks like you get neither engine nor trans, but maybe they're buried in the heap somewhere; anyway, you can always build up a lugnut-snapping 455, add Rock Crusher transmission, and drop 'er right in. Just so's you know, the seller does "NOT HAVE TIME FOR TIRE KICKERS AND LO-BALLERS," so you'll need to let your 15 Benjamins do all the talking right away when you show up.

That Cutlass is a nice "car," sure, but sometimes when you're shopping for a heap of parts you want a Pontiac heap, know what we mean? Of course you do. That's why we want to pull your coat about this heap of parts associated with a former 1967 Pontiac Grand Prix convertible, which you can obtain for an unbelievable 2,500 bucks! The best thing about this listing is that there are four photographs, one of which shows a very nice Grand Prix, but the seller states "The two pictures of 'whole' cars are for reference only, and not the one for sale," so it's impossible to tell what you would actually be buying! Talk about establishing negotiating leverage! One of the photos shows what appears to be a Pontiac engine; maybe it's included and maybe it's a Ram Air 455! Don't listen to your fears, though- listen to your heart! Your heart says you need a great big convertible from The General, doesn't it? Well, there ya go!

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

It's safe to assume that every Generation X-er has ridden in a 70s Olds wagon at least once; they were everywhere.


Seeing the Rocket emblem makes me miss Oldsmobile; I even forgive them for the Achieva. Almost.


I shot the Highway Buddha photograph from the passenger seat of a '78 Custom Cruiser. They were slow and wallowing and sucked gas, but they were still firmly in the Family Truckster tradition.


The Custom Cruiser for 1977 wasn't particularly big, as station wagons went, weighing just a bit more than 4,000 pounds. Engine choices were Malaise Era miserable, however, with a 170-horse 350 as standard equipment. If you wanted the 403, you had to get the Vista Cruiser.


Next stop, Wally World!

First to act is a 1952 second series Chrysler Saratoga, the most inexpensive V8 machine they made. This cheapness is reflected 55-years later in the seller's asking price: a steal at only $600. Interestingly, in 1951 Chrysler offered the Saratoga with an optional HEMI motivator. Does today's candidate possess such an engine? Who knows, as there is no engine! Or transmission. But it does come with "spare parts," so there you have it. We'd wager you could pick up a junked Magnum/Charger for not much scratch and swap it right in. Well, maybe not right in, but you get the idea. And the baby blue has got to go. You must have a few cans of gray spray paint lying around somewhere. We only ask that you leave the top white. As the seller says, this baby is a "great project car," so long as you have all your weekends free for eternity, in Hell!

Oh, but look at this guy. Who doesn't get their dark heart strings pulled by a '41 Olds Coupe? The owner just painted it (black, of course) and the interior is in "great shape." Sure, it costs 5 times as much as the Saratoga, but two doors are always more desirable, right? Plus, for that kind of scratch you at least get an engine and a tranny to wrench away forever on. Oh, wait a moment — you don't! That's right, just like the Chrysler, this sucker is a body on a frame with the promise of an eternity of bloodied knuckles and that's about it. And it only costs $2400 more. Still, the Olds is a looker, and few cars have said "drop a small block in me" with quite as much urgency. As always, the Devil's in the details, or with these two the lack there of. Cue Slayer, praise Satan, we're out.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view

This car's neighborhood is full of fly-by-night-looking marine-related businesses, and you always see plenty of battered old boats on rickety trailers around. Some of the shops use an old forklift to drag such derelict craft around the neighborhood, but this car's owner has found a better solution: stick a trailer hitch and some big side mirrors on a rusty Olds Jetstar and you can drag that $50 tub down to the boat ramp with class.


The Jetstar was one of many nameplates GM slapped on their big Eighty-Eight series in '64; it was priced below the Dynamic 88 and the Super 88, but was not to be confused with the pricy Jetstar I. Huh? Just shows that The General has a longstanding tradition of bewildering marketing efforts.


Dig that top-down Bay Area body rust; the only real problem is when the rust gets all the way through the area around the back window trim and the trunk spends every winter full of icky mosquito-breeding water.


You can't help but admire a car that has fins on the front! That's a retro style that Oldsmobile should definitely bring back. Oh, wait...


Ahhh, who the hell cares if the boat-towing car is full of crap? Just clean it out every six months or so and it'll be fine.


Someday, a four-door Jetstar 88 will be worth enough that someone will restore this one and relegate it to a life of shows and weekend cruises.


But for now it's still Down on the Street!

Hot damn, a Lotus Esprit S2 for under five grand? Yes, folks, that's no typo! You hand the gentleman $4950 and you leave with a genuine 1979 Lotus Esprit S2 boasting a mere 35,000 miles on the clock. You'll note we didn't say you'll drive away in an Esprit, because there's the little matter of some fire damage; the seller doesn't go into great detail on the subject, but the engine compartment area looks awfully scorched. If you're willing to throw in another $2900, however, the seller promises to repair it... though the definition of "repair" is, how shall we say, not spelled out here. But come on, it's a Lotus Esprit! A 140-horse 4-banger was sheer lunacy in '79, and just look at how beautiful it is! We'll be the first to admit that this car doesn't look so strong in the parts availability, reliability, and ease-of-repair departments, but... well, that's where the "Hell" part of Project Car Hell comes in!

Who among us doesn't want a big Detroit musclecar from the Golden Age of the breed? Yes, a midsize coupe with great big rumbly engine and unapologetically flashy trim, a car that exudes confidence and optimism! The GM A-body musclecars of the late 60s are especially good, with their 4-link rear suspensions and mean-looking lines, but who can afford a genuine GTO, big-block Chevelle, GS, or 442? Well, if you're willing to dive into the glowing, lava-spewing entrance to Project Car Hell, you can! Howzabout a '69 Olds 442 for the you-must-be-dreaming righteous price of $3500? Where's the catch, you ask? Well, it doesn't run... but you probably figured that, and anyway the original 400 has been replaced by a 350. No problem for a wrenchmeister of your caliber! But, see, there's the "targa roof" the seller has installed. Yes, you read that correctly: this 442 has been modified with a "custom removable Targa top, fabricated using factory convertible components." Oh, and there's rust. And the interior's trashed. Don't let that scare you, though- all you need to do is weld the roof back together, build a 400 or 455, fix all the rust, and.... well, actually you should let that scare you.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

My editor and pornographer friend Paul sends me these photos straight from The Smoke, courtesy of his low-end camera phone. His statement: "I don't know what this thing is, but I thought you might like it."

This is pretty cool, because my dad had a very similar car when I was a kid; his was a '56, and all I recall about it was the extra-mean sound that 324 Olds V8 made when the hammer went down.

One can only speculate as to the cost of feeding a 277-horsepower 371-cube late-50s V8 in the UK. It's fortunate that the public transit in London works pretty well, because daily commuting in this beast could get incredibly expensive (not to mention the nightmare of dropping anchor in a typical London parking spot in this behemoth).

Damn, how could GM have axed Oldsmobile? It must have been the Achieva.

Don't forget to vote in our Friday bonus poll!

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

1966 Grant Two Engine Olds Toronado [ronsusser.com]

Related:
864 Cubes Of Hairy Oldsmobile Goodness [Internal]

The Ciera really has only one claim to fame; otherwise it was just another forgettable mid-80s front-wheel-drive rattlebox from GM. But hold on! It was made using science! – Murilee Martin

Related:
Classic Ad Watch: 1995 Cutlass Ciera Hits Ludicrous Speed [internal]

All right, we have so many station wagons on our wish list that we may well have to institute a Jalopnik Fantasy Wagon Garage. And, by gum, the first two wagons to rumble into the JFWG would have to be a mid-60s Buick Sport Wagon and a mid-60s Oldsmobile Vista Cruiser. Both would be equipped with 455s and 4-speeds, of course (but you knew that). Click the link to visit the GM Skywagons Club's site-o-wagonly-goodness. – Murilee Martin

GM Skywagons [vistacruiser.com]

Related:
The Mightiest Buick Sport Wagon of All Time [internal]