Jalopnik: ohio

Man Dressed For Halloween As Breathalyzer Test Nabbed For DUI

Ben Wojdyla — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:30:00 EST

18-year-old James Miller, of Cincinnati was pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving. Convenient for the officer as Miller had brought his own breathalyzer in the form of his Halloween costume. "Blow here" indeed. Oh, the irony. [NBC4]

(Hat tip to Craig for the tip!)

Senior Citizen Knocks Flaming Gas Pump Onto Man

Matt Hardigree — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 16:00:00 EDT

An elderly women in Ohio lost control of her van, knocking a gas pump onto an unsuspecting customer. The man was saved by quick-acting bystanders, but we're reconsidering our don't taser old women rule. [Today]

The Top 122 Lemons Of The Lamest Day 24 Hours Of LeMons

Murilee Martin — Sat, 10 Oct 2009 11:00:00 EDT

The 19th race in 24 Hours Of LeMons history took place last weekend, and we finally had our first-ever Nissan winner! Right behind it- well, in some cases way behind it- were 121 other vehicles.

Here they are, in lap-total order and with best lap times, BS penalties (if any), and awards. We had one of the best car assortments in LeMons history this time, with an Eagle Premier, a first-gen Ford Fiesta, a Dodge Omni GLH, a GM Quad 4-powered CRX, a BMW 750iL, a one-ton Chevy van, a Lada Signet, and a 1961 Cadillac Fleetwood mixing it up with the usual E30s and Celicas. Thanks to Nick Pon and Colin Vozeh for photography help.

If this just isn't enough crapcannery for you, we've got plenty of past Top Lemons Of LeMons posts for you to peruse:

Altamont '07 • Arse Freeze '07 • Altamont '08 • Ohio '08 • New England '08 • South '08 • Texas '08 • Arse Freeze '08 • Texas Spring '09 • South Spring '09 • Reno '09 • New Orleans '09 • New England '09 • Buttonwillow '09 • South Fall '09

1. Booby Prize Racing, Nissan 200SX SE-R
Overall winner
Best lap: 1:28.560

2. Charlie Foxtrot Racing, BMW 325i
Best lap: 1:22.880
BS Penalty laps: 5

3. Team Paisley, Subaru Impreza
Best lap: 1:28.492

4. Team Topless, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:25.660
BS Penalty laps: 32
Winner, LeMons Detroit-ish '08

5. Latch-Key Kids, Plymouth Neon
Winner, Least Horrible Yank Tank
Best lap: 1:28.275

6. Duct Tape Motorsports, BMW 318iS
Winner, Class 2 (Bad)
Best lap: 1:23.099

7. Blitzen-Benz, Mercedes-Benz 300D
Best lap: 1:33.070

8. Barfing Duck, Saturn SL2
Best lap: 1:28.157

9. Team Pro-Crass-Duh-Nation, Alfa Romeo Milano
Best lap: 1:29.127

10. Team Ponticrap (we are driving excrement), Pontiac Fiero
Best lap: 1:28.656

11. Team Non Sequitor, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:26.423

12. Schumacher Taxi: Lost Our Shirts, Audi 80 Quattro
Best lap: 1:32.874

13. rbanksracing.com, Saab 900 Turbo
Best lap: 1:26.821

14. Scuderia Testa di Spillo, Alfa Romeo Milano
Best lap: 1:29.708

15. Thata Tau Racing, Ford Probe GT
Best lap: 1:32.117

16. Kielbasa Kids, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:27.829
Winner, LeMons New England '09

17. Keystone Kops, Volvo 240
Best lap: 1:33.979

18. FAST-ish and the FURRiest, Volvo 240
Best lap: 1:31.756

19. El Pinky Chaparral, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:28.177

20. Near-Orbital Space Monkeys, BMW 528e
Best lap: 1:32.675
BS Penalty lap: 1

21. Team Deconstruction, BMW 318
Best lap: 1:32.832
BS Penalty lap: 1

22. Mod Squad Racing - Car 1, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:27.670

23. Team Cavette C7.R, Chevrolet Cavalier
Winner, Class 3 (Ugly)
Best lap: 1:35.652

24. Dai Mondai II, Toyota Corolla FX16
Best lap: 1:29.988

25. Scuderia Limoni, Alfa Romeo Alfetta
Best lap: 1:27.537

26. Crown Royal Victoria, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor
Best lap: 1:30.201

27. Ded Bull Racing, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:36.042

28. Team GRRR - Glowing Red Rotor Racing, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor
Best lap: 1:30.296

29. CART - Chicagoland Amish Racing Team, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:31.126

30. THE Tools, Merkur XR4Ti
Best lap: 1:29.776

31. Cockroach Racing, Ford Escort GT
Winner, Most Likely To Set The Cuyahoga River On Fire Award
Best lap: 1:32.967

32. Dai Mondai I, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:26.420

33. Volvowned, Volvo 245
Best lap: 1:36.031

34. Caintmakit! Racing, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:27.918

35. Team Rob, His 3 Loser Friends, And His Stupid Brother, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:33.404

36. Las Vegas Strip, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:32.167

37. Lucky Monkey Racing, Acura Integra
BS Penalty lap: 1
Best lap: 1:30.917

38. Half Last, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:30.315

39. Free Candy Racing, Honda Civic Si
Best lap: 1:33.395

40. Daddy Day Care, Nissan 300ZX
Best lap: 1:32.699

41. CORSA NOSTRA, Alfa Romeo GTV6
Best lap: 1:25.872
BS Penalty laps: 50

42. Average Joe's/Property Devaluation Racing, Ford Mustang
Best lap: 1:27.613

43. deli reduced racing, Volkswagen GTI
Best lap: 1:33.255

44. Team Polksa Kielbasa, Nissan 300ZX
Best lap: 1:34.590

45. Team Sucker Punch, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:32.512

46. Peg Leg Rum Runners, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor
Best lap: 1:30.981

47. Junk Player Special, Volkswagen Jetta
Best lap: 1:35.098

48. Eau Rude, Nissan Sentra
Best lap: 1:28.169

49. 2 Slow Racing: Ze Flying Brick/Chicken, BMW 325eS
Best lap: 1:26.245
BS Penalty laps: 25

50. German Garden Gnomes, Acura Integra
Best lap: 1:30.344
BS Penalty laps: 5

51. Team J.O.H.N.K.-JPS Jr, Porsche 944
Best lap: 1:32.324
BS Penalty lap: 1

52. Jacky Ickx GT 30...25, Dodge Stealth
Best lap: 1:30.033

53. Kobayashi Maru, BMW 320i
Best lap: 1:30.033

54. Team "Corvette", Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:24.579
BS Penalty laps: 5

55. The 98ers, Oldsmobile 98
Best lap: 1:53.095

56. Team Steve McQueen Lives, Ford Escort
Best lap: 1:33.364

57. Hesselhoff DangerSport, Dodge Daytona ES
Winner, Judges' Choice
Best lap: 1:33.364

58. Total-Loss Racing, Lada Signet
Winner, Index Of Effluency
Best lap: 1:46.459

59. Team MRD2, Toyota MR2
Quickest lap of race
Best lap: 1:21.671

60. BuckSnort Racing, BMW 325e
Best lap: 1:34.691

61. Ewwww Five-Civic-One, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:29.391

62. Clutchman Racing, Volkswagen Passat
Best lap: 1:32.475

63. Men In Black, Mazda Protege
Best lap: 1:30.622

64. EcoScort, Ford Escort
Best lap: 1:32.534

65. We'll bring beer!, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:31.780

66. Team Reynolds Style, Toyota Celica
Best lap: 1:35.033

67. FinalGear.com, Buick LeSabre
Best lap: 1:31.426

68. Team Psychosis, Dodge Omni GLH
Best lap: 1:33;338

69. Gimmie A Box, Volvo 785
Best lap: 1:41.837

70. Fierocarraldo, Pontiac Fiero
Best lap: 1:41.837

71. KumKraut Racing, BMW E30
Best lap: 1:35.426

72. sinical racing, BMW 325i (E36)
Best lap: 1:30.239
BS Penalty laps: 20

73. Handome Boy Modeling School, Audi 4000 Quattro
Best lap: 1:37.947

74. F.A.R.T. Ford Amish Racing Team, Ford Fiesta
Best lap: 1:33.454

75. Crossbred Raycers, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:32.533

76. Chi Town Hustlers aka Government Motors, Chevrolet Camaro
Best lap: 1:23.246

77. Trackaddicts, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:27.520
Winner, LeMons Detroit-ish 2007

78. Focke Ewe II: The Resurrection, Volkswagen Golf
Best lap: 1:34.133

79. Clueless Racing, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:30.118

80. DeCuzzi Racing (Speed Racer Style), Pontiac Fiero
Best lap: 1:30.835

81. BARBIE MUST WIN Racing!, BMW 635CSi
Best lap: 1:30.813

82. eLEMONators, Chevrolet Caprice
Best lap: 1:31.939

83. WifeySaysNo Motorsports, Honda Civic DX
Best lap: 1:33.343

84. Evil Minions Of Nelson, Honda Civic
Best lap: 1:30.762

85. RennSouth, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:31.875

86. Busch Boys, Chrysler New Yorker
Best lap: 1:35.202

87. Team Short Bus, Buick Regal
Best lap: 1:31.822

88. Spec Junk Racing - Team Bud, Mazda MX-3
Best lap: 1:33.072

89. Red Rocket Racing, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:32.701
BS Penalty laps: 50

90. Blame Canada, Dodge Stratus
Best lap: 1:30.050

91. Schumacher Taxi: G.I. Slow, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:27.359

92. Hot Rod Lincoln, Lincoln Continental Mark VII
Image copyright @2009 Colin J. Vozeh
Best lap: 1:34.143

93. Cyberdyne Systems Racing, Eagle Talon TSi
Best lap: 1:32.954

94. Farfrumwinning, Nissan 240SX
Best lap: 1:29.730
BS Penalty laps: 10

95. Project Yellow Racing, Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:29.278

96. Adopted By Jets, Saab 99
Best lap: 1:27.345

97. Morrows Auto & Snoopy's Quest For The Holy Nickelbag, GMC Van
Best lap: XXX

98. Team DWeeBS, Eagle Premier
Best lap: 1:41.544

99. Team Police Brutality- Beating Up On Breast Cancer!, Cadillac Fleetwood
Winner, Organizer's Choice
Best lap: 1:44.355

100. Team Lebowski, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:34.312

101. NYC Death Taxi Ride, Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor
Best lap: 1:40.970

102. FLAMING FIERO GANGSTA CRACKERS, Pontiac Fiero
Best lap: 1:35.783

103. POWERTHIRST!, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:36.324

104. Dawn Of The Zed Racing, Datsun 260Z
Best lap: 1:36.340

105. The Cheap Bastards, Dodge Neon
Best lap: 1:40.303

106. Team Magnum Pi Ness, Toyota Supra
Best lap: 1:31.907

107. Dragon Somethin', Porsche 944
Winner, People's Curse
Best lap: 1:33.390
BS Penalty laps: 15

108. Schumacher Taxi: Over-Compensating Dagos, Mazda Miata
Best lap: 1:33.491

109. The Divine Wind, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:45.539

110. Kick Uranus Racing, Saturn SL2
Best lap: 1:29.360

111. Lamest Mess Racing, Infiniti Q45
Best lap: 1:32.987

112. Purple Eagle Racing, BMW 750iL
Best lap: 1:32.375

113. Surround Castle To Stay Alive, Quad Four-powered Honda CRX
Best lap: 1:38.962

114. Doing Community Service, Volkswagen Scirocco
Best lap: 1:37.278

115. F.A.C.E. Racing, Pontiac Fiero
Best lap: 1:46.048

116. Topless Asset Racing Program (TARP 2), Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:36.556

117. Team Class, Toyota MR2
Best lap: 1:44.964
BS Penalty laps: 2

118. Flaming Grill Racing, Mazda RX-7
Best lap: 1:31.618
BS Penalty laps: 15

119. Hard Drive Racing, Chevrolet Camaro IROC-Z
Best lap: 1:39.598

120. Cougar Bait, Saab 900
Best lap: 1:38.704

121. The B Team, Ford Thunderbird
Best lap: 1:39.074

122. King Euro-Trash, Doddge Neon
Best lap: 1:38.233
BS Penalty laps: 37

Watch The Lamest Day 24 Hours Of LeMons BS Inspections In Timelapse Animation!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 03 Oct 2009 01:25:00 EDT

The most cars ever in a 24 Hours Of LeMons race (130), three former LeMons winners, and a cold rainy Ohio day all made for a very long day of Cheat Detection.

I decided to set up BumperCam II (a Canon A460 equipped with CHDK scripts) on one of the Bribe Tables in the LeMons Supreme Court inspection area, and it captured a nice slice of a few hours of inspections. This crop of racers is the best assortment of vehicles to show up for a LeMons race, ever, period. Check in later for more Lamest Day action; internet access at the track is spotty, so you might have to wait until Sunday night for the full story... but it will be worth it!

Music: Lonnie Johnson, "Death Valley Is Only Halfway To My Home" via Prewar Blues

Abandoned Lancia Scorpion Makes Youngstown, Ohio 15th Most Dangerous City In America

Murilee Martin — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:30:00 EST

You see these bogus "Worst Cities In America" lists all the time, and usually the accompanying photo shows a vacant lot covered with weeds and broken Olde English 800 40-dog bottles, with a gutted '85 Cutlass or '79 Corolla in the foreground and a bullet-riddled abandoned apartment building in the background. This shot of Youngstown, Ohio, follows the script pretty much to the letter… except for the car, which happens to be a Lancia Scorpion!

[WalletPop] Hat tip to Dante!

Ohio Men Crash Into Safe Insurance

Wes Siler — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 10:30:00 EDT

Safe happens. Two Ohio men were injured Tuesday when the Jaguar XJ12 they were racing against another vehicle "at more than 100mph" crashed into the brick storefront of Safe Auto Insurance of Whitehall, Ohio. It's not currently known, but is thought unlikely, that the men were insured through Safe Insurance. [Via The Columbus Dispatch]
Photography credit: foundphotoslj

Prelude To The Dream: Pretty Practice Pictures

Ray Wert — Wed, 06 Jun 2007 19:15:31 EDT

The race is about to start and unless I can find another dust- and dirt-free area to live-blog from with an outlet, y'all may not be hearing from me for a little while. But I did get out next to the dirt track a few minutes ago, and there's not much more to say other than...damn, those are fifty-five pretty pictures of some pretty drivin' on dirt. Enjoy, and check out the rest of our Prelude to the Dream coverage. – Ray Wert

Ohio Child Molesters May Get Custom Plates

Murilee Martin — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 13:48:41 EST

A bill introduced in the Ohio state legislature yesterday by Democratic Rep. Michael DeBose and Republican Sen. Kevin Coughlin would require bright green license plates on the vehicles of all convicted habitual and child-related sex offenders, to make it easier for ~~vigilantes~~ concerned citizens to ~~string up~~ identify such individuals. Nuh uh, says the ACLU. Any suggestions as to what logo might be used on these special plates? – Murilee Martin

Ohio Lawmakers Want Sex Predator Plates [LA Times]

Why Sub-Zero Weather, Water Main Breaks And Street Parking Don't Mix

Ray Wert — Tue, 13 Feb 2007 15:01:00 EST

We're gearing up here in Detroit for a pretty big winter storm. According to our boy in second city, Matt Hardigree (more on him later), they've already gotten "a lot [of snow], and it's blowing around." The Matt-man and I are both counting our blessings that it's only snow and not record-breaking cold. If it had been, at least one of us could have ended up like this poor sap in Columbus, Ohio who saw his purple Honda frozen to the street due to a double-tap of trouble — a parking next to a water main break and sub-zero temperatures. Although really, he's getting it lucky — 'round these parts if a man's parking a purple Honda in the wrong place, it won't get covered — it'll get filled — with water. Nothing like water, ice and pressure damage all at once. Check out the gallery below — we're going to go batten down the hatches or something. – Ray Wert

Water Main Breaking + Overnight Street Parking = Funny Pics [TribalWar.com via Digg]
Get ready for a snowy, windy afternoon commute [Freep]

SUPER AUTOMATED COROLLA-PARKING POTENTIAL!

Davey G. Johnson — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 19:30:00 EST

A group of engineering students from the University of Toledo slapped together an auto-park system that's KISS-simple. Get the nose into the spot, lower the hydraulic dolly, and bingo-bango, A Bruce-like parking job in a mere Corolla! – Davey G. Johnson

UT Senior Capstone Project, Group #16 [via Autoblog]

Ohio One-Seven Want Their Crown Vics Fire-Suppressed

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 10 Oct 2006 15:00:00 EDT

The union representing Ohio's state troopers has taken to pounding tables and calling out, "Thus, for the Albigensians!" Or, er, they're calling for fire-suppression systems on all of their patrol Crown Victorias, after a cruiser collided with a civilian vehicle and the roller's gas tank ruptured, leading to a fire that killed two officers and the driver of the truck they ran into. While the state has purchased two Vics with fire-suppression systems for evaluation purposes, the rest of the nigh-on thousand cars the law-enforcement agency uses daily go without active anti-flamb protection. A spokeswoman from Ford maintains that the vehicles are safe and that given the circumstances of the accident, the outcome wasn't unreasonable. The union, understandably, thinks otherwise. – Davey G. Johnson

Troopers union seeks cars with fire-suppression systems [Akron Beacon-Journal]

Ohio Mitsubishi Dealership Declares A Jihad On Prices And Political Correctness

Ray Wert — Mon, 25 Sep 2006 14:47:05 EDT

Only in Ohio, the ass-end of the United States, would a car dealership decide it'd be a good idea to run an advertising campaign declaring "a jihad on the automotive market" and that "burqa"-wearing sales representatives would be selling vehicles that can "comfortably seat 12 jihadists in the back." That's right, Dennis Mitsubishi , a Columbus, OH dealership's gone crazy, and we ain't just talkin' about the pricing — they've gone and declared a holy war on all that is reasonable with a radio spot they'll be airing on suburban Columbus stations. In addition to the above quotes, the ad also claims "Our prices are lower than the evildoers' every day. Just ask the pope!" and that "Friday is fatwa Friday, with free rubber swords for the kiddies." Wow. We're totally speechless — except we think we're gonna let the Department of Homeland Security know we think we've just found the location of the next terrorist strike.

Ohio car dealership blasted for jihad ad [Seattlepi.com]

GM's Bill-Bored Of Toyota, Drops Pants And Shows Size

Ray Wert — Sun, 30 Jul 2006 12:44:37 EDT

Toyota has a (sorta) new ad campaign we just saw while watching the Sunday morning talk shows touting Toyota and its investment here in the United States. The automaker from the land of the rising sun is all hard up on the ten assembly plants its got over on our shores. Somehow it kinda tweaked us the wrong way...especially considering Ford, GM and Chrysler have shuttered 3 times that many plants in the past seven years. And what have we gotten in return? Ten assembly plants. Well, before folks begin saying things like "Buy Toyota, it's the American thing to do", we wanted to provide a visual "nip" from the boys and girls at the General as a rebuttal to that budding notion. We kinda think the billboard speaks for itself, but the RenCen's got more to say — it's only one of three billboards...

...with the others featuring the taglines:

"We'll see your ten and raise you 44."

"GM suppliers are everywhere. Literally. 2,918 suppliers"

We're waiting for the next one:

"You call that ten inches?"

[Hat tip to Zerin!]

Paintball Pranksters Sentenced to Shooting Their Own Cars

Davey G. Johnson — Thu, 20 Jul 2006 16:30:00 EDT

Judge Michael Cicconetti (as the source article tells us, his surname is pronounced "chih-kuh-NEH'-tee") has decreed that in lieu of jail time, twenty-year-old Joshua Breeding and 19-year-old Christopher Lyons can shoot up their own vehicles with paintball guns and then clean them up. The pair were caught after splattering another man's vehicle. They'll also have to do forty hours' hard time painting Habitat for Humanity homes and issue an apology to their victim. Oh, the humility!

Paintballers must target their own cars to avoid jail [WHOTV]

Related:
Vandals Strike Gay-Owned Vehicles in Iowa [Internal]

Volvamino in Ohio?

Davey G. Johnson — Sat, 15 Jul 2006 00:30:00 EDT

Home of the New Bomb Turks, Alex P. Keaton, and, er, um, uh, not much else we can think of, Columbus, OH has added one more sterling addition to its roster of notable thingy-dingys. Yes, it's the Volvamino, a parts-hauler for a local Volvo mechanic. Reader Benjamin snapped and sent this in, and in appreciation for his submission of this one-of-a-kind Volvo, we wish him massive and diverse amounts of sweet, sweet vulva. Preferably in assorted Caminos.

More El Caminos [Internal]

Dumb Teen Screws Up Boat Race

Davey G. Johnson — Mon, 03 Jul 2006 17:30:00 EDT

This item originally attracted our attention because on Google News, it read: "At least eight people have been hospitalized after a car went into the crowd at the Madison Regatta peed boat race Sunday." We were gonna make a "peed boat" joke, but the story itself was sufficiently mind-boggling to post straight. Apparently, an 18-year-old kid was driving at a high rate of speed when he lost control, hurtled through the crowd assembled to watch the hydroplane races and on into the Ohio River. Eleven people, including the driver of the wayward car, were injured. Stay safe this 4th, kids. And watch out for idiots on the road. [Reader Charles points out our pre-holiday stupidity. This happened in Ohio, not Wisconsin. D'oh. Oh wait. It didn't happen in Ohio. It happened in Indiana. Thanks to the Midwest for busting our coastal balls on it.]

Car Drives Into Crowd During Madison Regatta [WISH]

Related:
One-Car Pileup Takes a Life in Detroit [Internal]

Jeep Parkway Plant Soon to Close

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 27 Jun 2006 00:45:00 EDT

A man who's most likely seen an amount of faces numbering in the hundreds of thousands and if they had a brain in their heads, rocked them all, a.k.a. Andy Wendler, sent over a bit from the Toledo blade regarding the shutdown of America's oldest continuously-operation auto plant, Jeep Parkway. With the expansion of the also-Toledoan Stickney factory, as well as the Toledo North facility, the former Overland plant is due to shut down this week. It built Second-War-era Jeeps, 155mm shells and rockets, but over the last few years it's used for basic Wrangler construction before the vehicles were sent over to Stickney for final assembly. In fact, Stickney's new role is to be determined, although it'll remain open for the forseeable future.

Nation's longest-operating auto plant faces final days [Toledo Blade]

Related:
Jeep to Discontinue Liberty Diesel [Internal]

Stakes is High: Supply Problem Causes GM Plant Shutdown

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 22:00:00 EDT

More sadness out of Ohio today: GM was forced to send workers home after TRW failed to deliver enough airbags for the automaker to continue building the Cobalt and its McKenzie brother the Pontiac Pursuit. The Lordstown Airlift has begun in attempt to keep the General stocked with guns and butter, but the shutdown is costing General Motors 75 smacks an hour per worker sent home, which puts some sort of an achey hematoma on the bottom line.

GM temporarily shuts Lordstown plant; parts shortage blamed [Automotive News]

Dubs On a Quad? The Trend is Dead

Davey G. Johnson — Fri, 23 Jun 2006 16:30:00 EDT

We've decried the rise of dub culture for years, and it finally seems that it's reached critical mass and is now on the wane. At least, we hope it is. 13s are the new 23s, and the Starlet is the whip to have. Actually, we suppose due to its diminutive size, it's really more of a flogger than a whip. Rum, sodomy and the lash aside, some guy who used to be in the Necros kicked down this rather disconcerting mash-up he found on eBay: A Kawi quad featuring a blingin' set o' big wheels with rubber-band tires. In Ohio, of all places. Dear Ohio: you gave us Rocket From the Tombs, the Dead Boys, Devo and the band the guy who tipped us to this used to be in. Why did you have to go and give us this? We'd almost forgiven you for Family Ties.

Kawasaki KFX 400 ATV on Dubs [eBay]

Cops in Beetles Feel Distinctly Non-Menacing

Davey G. Johnson — Tue, 13 Jun 2006 15:45:00 EDT

The po-po at the University of Cincinnati have been feeling a tad emasculated since 2000, when they were mandated a VW New Beetle as their official campus-enforcement vehicle. According to the Chicago Sun-Times, "'The guys aren't 100 percent happy with the car,' University of Cincinnati Police Capt. Karen Patterson said. 'You don't look very intimidating driving a Bug.'" Advice to said campus coppers, if you want a Crown Vic, there are other jobs available. Otherwise, suck it up. [Thanks to Scott for the tip.]

VW Beetle squad car bugs Cincinnati campus cops [Chicago Sun-Times]

Related:
Geek Squad Surrenders to Chippies [Internal]