Jalopnik: oddities

Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it

Wes Siler — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 12:00:00 EST

A speeding truck rammed a woman’s sedan at over 100 MPH on a Texas freeway last Friday. Why? According to the Archangel Gabriel/ Michael E. Schwab, a resident of Blooming Grove, Texas, the woman "was not driving like a Christian.”

Schwab failed to explain what the woman had done to prompt the Lord’s wrath and investigators have since determined that she violated no traffic laws. She was driving North on highway 281 when Schwab struck the rear of her sedan. The impact spun both vehicles across the median before being brought to a halt by the barrier on the far side of the south bound lanes. Neither party was seriously injured by the accident, although both vehicles appear to be totaled.

Describing the accident, Lt. Kyle Coleman of the Bexar County Sheriff’s Department said, “He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road.” According to a release issued by the department, Schwab told police “the other vehicle was not driving like a Christian and it was Jesus' will for him to punish the car.” It was Schwab who told the police that he was traveling over 100 MPH at the time of the impact.

Schwab has since been charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, been placed under a $50,000 bond and will now face a psychological evaluation.

“God must have been with them, 'cause any other time, the severity of this crash, it would have been a fatal,” said Lt. Coleman. [via My San Antonio]

Moving Car Struck By Meteorite, Flying Pigs Pending

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 14 Mar 2008 17:00:00 EDT

"Look up in the sky! It's a bird! It's A plane! Oh crap, it's space junk hitting my car!" This has been a fictionalized reenactment of one miss Leah's car getting thwacked with what was apparently a meteorite. We're thinking of calling up our physics major friends, the ones who are mostly unemployed now, and asking them to calculate what the odds are of a moving car being struck by a meteorite. We're betting it's low. BoingBoing ran a post earlier today recounting the tale of the interstellar insurance nightmare and the disbelief is still planted firmly on our faces. [Draplin Design via BoingBoing]

Ford uses Child Labor to Design Cars

Wes Siler — Thu, 20 Dec 2007 10:30:00 EST

As established vehicle designers grow more and more famous, the salaries they charge sky rocket. In an effort to reduce these costs, Ford is taking the revolutionary step of outsourcing design for future vehicles to an organization known for imprisoning children and sapping their creativity. Speaking to the New York Times about the program he helped create, Moray Callum said, "The kids are at an age when they are very creative and not overburdened by engineering and business." Ford tasked the kids with designing a future green vehicle. They've come up with ideas such as fuel-cell, solar, wind power hybrids, recyclable interiors and vehicles with as many as five TV screens and massaging seats. Ford has not yet announced how they plan to integrate these new designs into their future production plans, nor how many cookies the children will receive for their participation. The NSPCC was unavailable for comment. [Via The New York Times]
Photo credit: Cambodia4Kids.org

Daredevil to Recreate Evel Knievel's Snake River Canyon Jump, in a Limo

Wes Siler — Wed, 19 Dec 2007 15:15:00 EST

Just weeks after Evel Knievel's death, one of the daredevil's biggest fans has declared his intention to recreate Evel's most famous jump, in a limousine. "Mad" Mike Hughes, who declares himself "The Most Famous Limousine Driver in the World," already holds the Guinness World Record for the longest jump in a limo. Hughes has enlisted the help of an expert team of rocket engineers and has started work on the Skylimo, which he hopes will clear Snake River Canyon, a distance in excess of 1/4 mile.

The 635kg limo-cum-rocket will be powered in the same way as Knievel's 1974 Skycycle, a 77-gallon tank holds water heated to 500 degrees, under 500 pounds of pressure. Capable of producing 4000lbs of thrust for 4 seconds, the Skylimo will be launched from a 100 foot, 45-degree ramp. Hughes hopes it will reach a height of 3,500 feet and a top speed of 350mph.

Knievel's famous attempt to jump the canyon in 1974 was cut short by the parachute cover sheering off, resulting in its premature deployment.

Hughes hopes to complete the Skylimo by next summer, and if the Snake River Canyon attempt proves successful, he may move on to make an attempt on the Grand Canyon. Any money made through the attempts or by selling the Skylimo will be put towards the opening of a museum dedicated to Evel Knievel, the creation of which is Hughs' life-long dream. [Via RelicEmporium]

Mk. II Golf Deconstruction Madness

Matt Hardigree — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 15:15:00 EST

We're constantly taking things apart and then finding we had a few extra parts lying around. That's why we're glad that we weren't involved in having to reconstruct this Mk. II Golf. It's quite the project, given that they've nicely laid out nearly every easy-to-remove component, including the fenders. Can you name all the parts?

Even better, can you figure out what country this is definitely from? Is it an American Golf? It doesn't look to be GTI... or is it? Have fun with that one. [AVI_ABRAMS via Core77]

The Portable Crosswalk

Wes Siler — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 08:00:00 EDT

Tired of walking allll the way down the block to find a crosswalk? Well labor unnecessarily no more. The Portable Crosswalk will shave untold minutes on your journey from a to b, allowing you to cross busy streets at the drop of a long piece of vinyl. Capable of rolling up into a conveniently sized bundle, this is easily the most convenient and affordable personal street crossing system in the world. Cub Scout packs and Jaywalkers anonymous groups enquire for group discounts. Caution: Care should be taken while deploying the Portable Crosswalk system on busy streets. May not be legal in all 50 states. [Via The International Chindogu Society]