This Is Exactly The Truck You’d Drive To Save Your Heroin Addict Friend If You Were Also A Heroin Addict And Had A Shit Ton Of Guns With You

Three people were busted in New York’s Holland Tunnel today after cops somehow couldn’t help but notice their pickup truck, decorated in a ludicrously charming “hillbilly teens playing Army” motif, was allegedly packed with loaded guns, combat equipment, body armor and drugs. Why? Rescue mission, obviously!

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It Will Cost A Mere $95 To Cross Manhattan Tomorrow

The Pope, AKA Pope Francis, AKA “Cool Pope,” is a heavenly man. But since he’s visiting New York, he will officially make travel here a living hell. Thankfully, a helicopter service in New York will raise all of our cross-town travels a little closer to God, as they’re offering the low-low rate of $95 just to go from…