In case you didn’t catch the mood from the headline, the news wasn’t good.

New York City might hate cars, but car owners persevere and do indeed keep cool rides out on the street. Let’s go find some!

A man is presently climbing Trump Tower on New York’s Fifth Avenue using four suction cups. He reached the fifth floor about an hour ago according to Gothamist. Presently it’s not known why he’s doing this, but you can certainly watch it happen below, for as long as it lasts:

Let us go and seek out the cool cars parked on the streets of Manhattan’s Alphabet City neighborhood. There are cool cars of many kinds, and I think we can find them on video.

New Yorkers were unsure if the strange land of myth and wonder supposedly known as “Williamsburg” would be cast away and shut off from Manhattan intermittently for three years or absolutely for a year and a half. The latter is now true.

Today we are on the hunt for one of the rarest streetparked cars in New York City.

It’s a beautiful day in New York City, so let’s go look for cars in one of Manhattan’s trickiest carspotting neighborhoods. We’re hitting up the West Village.

Having already checked out some of the more interesting cars of Manhattan, let’s go see what cars we can find in one of Brooklyn’s leafier neighborhoods.

Three people were busted in New York’s Holland Tunnel today after cops somehow couldn’t help but notice their pickup truck, decorated in a ludicrously charming “hillbilly teens playing Army” motif, was allegedly packed with loaded guns, combat equipment, body armor and drugs. Why? Rescue mission, obviously!

President Barack Obama was in New York City this week to join Jimmy Fallon on The Tonight Show. Moments before his motorcade cruised across Park Avenue, some apparently oblivious or brazen bicyclist thought they could “make the light” and cross before POTUS. The cops were not having it.

Cops, panicked, jog by. A Range Rover swerves through an alley, screeches to a halt and backs into a police car. Metal crunches, glass shatters, and in the background a familiar accent is shouting for the cops to “shoot him! Shoot him!” This isn’t a movie. It’s just another Monday in New York City.

There is nothing sadder on the road than a road rage fight, except when it’s a road rage fight between two slightly older guys pulled over on the side of a gray and drizzly New York City highway. That’s what makes it so excellent when two cops run up and end it with nothing but pure, competent justice.

The City of New York just live-streamed their police crushing a parking lot’s worth of unlicensed dirt bikes and ATVs. The vehicles were presumably confiscated from hooligans who’d been caught using them to do stunts in streets. Anybody feel better now?

“Our issue is not the quality of the product,” Cadillac’s brand director Melody Lee told Bloomberg. “Our challenge is relevance.”

The L train, connecting Manhattan with Brooklyn’s hip neighborhoods of Bushwick and Canarsie, carries 225,000 people on an average weekday. At some point in the next few years, it’ll have to be completely shut down for repairs. It’s in a dangerously bad state. Here’s why, and how it’ll be fixed.

[A sweet van under the lights. Police escort, New York City.]

We’ve all considered a classic “TEAM USA” tattoo above the eyebrows. What better way to advertise your allegiance? Makes it hard to get away with crimes though. Speaking of which, if you see this particularly patriotic face the NYPD would like to hear from you.

This scheme to cheat a driver out of parking spot was so audacious it made The Telegraph. Finding parking in New York City is for real.

Everyone who told you that you never use math when you grow up was lying. I used math just the other day to figure out some awesome shit: if it makes sense for me to rent a shipping container as a garage for my crappy ass old car.

It’s not just the trains that are decrepit in the New York City subway system, it’s the stations as well. But everything is surely fixable, right? Well, a new report from the Citizens Budget Commission, a non-partisan non-profit, says that really, it is totally fixable. Though at current repair rates, it will take 52…