The S/E isn't exactly carnival-midway material. First, it lacks the Challenger R/T's six-speed Tremec TR6060, or any other manual transmission. Second, with 250-horsepowers' worth of sad ham under its hood, the weighty S/E's zero-to-60 time is probably closer to that of a '78 Tradesman van than a 268-hp Toyota Camry SE. Can you imagine a greater humiliation than being dispatched by a middle-aged suburban bank branch manager late for her 11:15? I can, but it would involve farm animals, Irish whiskey and glossy photos.

Despite all of that - and it's quite a lot to spite — the Challenger S/E has remained foremost in my thoughts.

My obsession is mainly with intangables. The S/E on display looked simply stunning in a color approximating the classic Mopar B5 blue. It's also decked, such that it is, with 18-inch wheels and a pert lip spoiler. On paper, the car should be a no more alluring than any other rental upgrade. Nonetheless, the base Challenger projects a kind of butchness the base V6 Mustang only imagines while wearing its dad's Hathaway shirts. Despite the availability of V6 turbocharging kits, Ford's base-level pony car cannot seem to cast off the hairy sweater it's been wearing for 40+ years. The most obvious slight at the base Mustang is that it's the ultimate "secretary's car." The Challenger S/E is a secretary's car too; think Secretary of the Navy Donald C. Winter.

Plus, think of the practicalities. Speed isn't everything for a daily driver, a role for which the Challenger is well suited. It's roomy enough to fit two work-weary, inflation-slapped adults in the front, and accept a baby seat and a full-sized adult in the back seat. For the most part, it's sure to treat gasoline as the swiftly appreciating commodity it is. Face it kids, we all grow up, some more grudgingly than others.

And if having a car that's as slow as warm potash becomes grating, there's always a turbo kit. Maybe someday.

Some of the highlights:

Life Is Better With Wheels: "It is...clear that mobility is becoming a fundamental component in perceptions of today's quality of life."

Bentleys Are Irrational: "As a luxury performance brand, the reasons for purchasing a Bentley are based on a more emotional than rational need for transportation."

Emergency!: "As this document makes clear, the world is facing a potential crisis over climate change and access to energy."

Upshot is that Bentley is putting its money, it heaping piles of money, behind FlexFuel. But not really first generation biofuels, which because they are derived from crops that people need for food has caused, as the report points out, riots. They are basically endorsing second-generation biofuels, made from heaps of decomposing filth waste products. Later, the situation will get completely kick-ass, when we brew up all our biofuels from farmed ocean algae, and also drive FlexFuel Bentleys in a future in which their is no sickness or war and we all live to be 317.

But you know what? We approve of this high-ground-taking on Bentley's part. Leadership! Even if they persistently remind us that emissions generated by Bentleys amount to the equivalent of "two cans of Cola in an Olympic sized swimming pool"—in other words, not very dang much, when compared to other carmakers. Of course, that's a bit of a bogus claim when you consider that Bentley might not even exist were it not for the global auto industry.

Luckily, our gadget expert, Travis, was among our number. He quickly mastered the system by randomly stabbing at the touchscreen while our driver hooned across lower Manhattan. In the old days, all that you would have had back there for entertainment was the lingering aroma of puke from the last drunk to take a ride. As for nav, you had your wits. And blind trust.

Those days are gone for good. God only knows what they'll come up with to keep us occupied in the next generation of yellow hacks.

Oh, yes, the same damn thing happened at the Rolls-Royce press conference at the Detroit Auto Show. A highly competent looking man of British descent stood up and said things, not new things, but things that were full of confidence and self-assurance. With BBC-caliber diction. Nice.

Bentley has three vehicles here in the City That Never Sleeps but would probably be perfectly happy to sleep in a Bentley, if the opportunity arose. We saw the GT Speed, the friskily monikered Continental Flying Spur, which ought to fly with a V12 under its aubergine hood, and the Bentley Broadlands cou-pay, in opalescent pearl. Yes, they are all gloriously beautiful and sumptuously appointed.

However, according the company, beauty plus brawn does not necessarily satisfy all the needs of the finicky Bentley customer. No, the members of that elevated tax bracket (or lack thereof, Monaco Bentley owners!) want an alternative-fuel strategy from the brand. And the brand does not intend to disappoint.

"The consequences of climate change cannot be ignored," intoned Stuart McCullough, Bentley board member and master of sales and marketing.

I'll break it down for you and see if it makes sense. Seventeen lousy pages—how long can it take?

The design is symbolic, but we forget what the symbols are, and we were so cynically dismayed utterly starstruck by Pentastar Bob that we forgot to write 'em down—something about angles and a magical orb that seduces customer into car loans.... It was all incredibly juicy. Hummer was among the winners in this competition for laurels among nationally aired TV spots.

Hummer, with creative supplied by Modernista!, won for "Most Liked Ad" ("Like, it was the the ad that those in the vast IAG survey most, um, liked, you know"). It was that one of Hummers engaged in all manner of video game awesomeness (watch it here.) Obviously, the award you wanna win, if you're the standard-issue low-self-esteem marketing big shot.

Subaru won the very special "Green" award. Lexus and Chevy won for Best Overall Luxury ad and Best Overall Non-Luxury ad, respectively. Toyota Tundra won for Most Effective ad, and Hyundai Veracruz won for Most Effective New Nameplate Launch.

It was all incredibly moving. And then Nardelli started dispatching the neologisms.

"Globality"—we think it has something to do with selling cars overseas, even though Chrysler only managed to move just over 200,000 internationally last year, or maybe giving Chrysler products an "international" look—is the key to "returning Chrysler to profitability" as an independent company, Nardelli insisted. Thus will they achieve an enviable state of globality-ness. He figures Chrysler under his direction can do this because it's really a "$60 billion startup company." (Was that a subliminal valuation to potential buyers being tossed out there?) This from a grizzled veteran of American business—and a real car guy, too, remember—who's been in the game for almost 40 years and whose pre-Chryslerberus experience came at GE and Home Depot. Power plants and lumber. Startup? Makes ya wonder.

Oops, did we allude to Cerberus Capital Management, the private equity concern that's Chrysler's current owner? Nardelli sure didn't. He spent more time talking about Walter Chrysler and Lee Iacocca—not to mention the Chrysler Building in New York itself, an Art Deco landmark and shrine to all that the American automobile once stood for that Chrysler vacated in the fifties. (Company HQ is now a fairly weird-looking building in Auburn Hills—we know this because Nardelli brought a slide.)

Apart from dispensing Six Sigma by osmosis, Nardelli's primary goal in delivering the keynote seemed to be to sell the press on Chryslers efforts to "rightsize our business," i.e. shed personnel and close facilities in order to meet Cerberus' firesale turnaround goals. With a less cynical crowd, her might have succeeded; he's a gruff yet suave fella, the kind of man who emanates "decisionmaker." To his credit, he acknowledged that Chrysler's customer satisfaction isn't where it should be. He also broke out of trance-rave PowerPoint mode long enough to run a Challenger video clip, to illustrate the "visceral and emotional appeal of our automobiles." There was a thumpy car-guy soundtrack. Then back to the PP slides.

In the end, kind of a downer, to kick off the New York Auto Show. It was raining outside, under a gray sky in Manhattan. But the clouds were a lot darker inside the Javits Center, at least where Chrysler's corporate leadership is concerned. Onward to globality, however. Vroom!

Uni-body is all well and good—hey, it's actually superior engineering (according to many, if not all). But somehow it lacks that certain... body-on-frame vibe that says, Yo! I have a financial baron/media macher/fashion entrepreneur/corporate law rainmaker stashed in the back. Or just some underling from the late-night proofreading pool using the company dime to roll back to Brooklyn in soothing luxury.

Let's not overlook the cab factor, either. Post-Checker, the Crown Vic is pretty much what most New Yorkers think when they cab—at least until the current fleets are replaced by something new.

Finally, let us remember those who built and continue to build the Big Apple: the enterprising immigrants who touch down in New York and quickly obtain a taxi and limo license. Whether its a Crown Vic or a Town Car, their path to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness takes place with body-on-frame providing the support.

Body-on-frame: Come to New Yawk and it's everywhere! You can't swing and old fan belt without hitting one. We'll miss it when it's gone, but given how many dang examples there are around this town, that'll take a while. Body-on-frame and New York: two great taste that go great together.