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Novelty
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used cars
Call KLunker 1-1313 For Misdemeanor Motors!
While searching for the great Marshall Lucky scene from one of Kurt Russell's finest films, we ran across this... this... well, we're not quite sure what it is. It's a 1970 short film entitled Dad, Can I Borrow The Car, a very young (and un-Snake Plisskin-like) Kurt Russell narrates it, and it's seriously twisted. The used-car-dealer TV ad is an excellent example of drug-inspired gibberish, and the car wash scene... well, "groovy" seems to be the word we're looking for here. The bit above is actually Part 3; make the jump if you want to see Parts 1 and 2 first. More »
auto accessories
Got Ideas For New Little Trees? You Will Be Heard!
So after I posted the inspiring Fresh As A Junkyard Breeze Little Tree Air Freshener Movie last week, I got a pleasant email from a marketing manager at the Little Tree Air Freshener Empire Headquarters. It turns out they're watching us closely for our opinions of their fine line of tree-shaped automotive air fresheners, which means we're important tastemakers now! More »
van
Forget the VW Transporter: Hippie Barkas!
After helping us do an All-Czech Project Car Hell last week, our Czech Connection, bobash, now sends us some shots of a hippified Barkas B1000. See, an East German van is far more suitable for patchouli-scented adventures than its West German counterpart. We're starting to think it's time for a visit to the Czech Republic... [Picasaweb]
news
Abandoned House Still On LA Freeway's Shoulder
So you got your guys who don't tie down their ladders, boxes, or dinette sets clogging up the freeways with their crap. But what can you say about a man who lost his house on the freeway? And this is no mobile home; it's a small single-family home that Patrick Richardson was trying to move from Santa Monica to Santa Clarita. Sadly, Mr. Richardson (who had a permit to move the house) made a few mistakes, including failure to judge overpass height, and the house has now spent close to two weeks at the side of the 101 in Cahuenga Pass. [Associated Press]
junkyard
Little Tree, Fresh As A Junkyard Breeze!
As some of you might remember, I like to photograph Little Tree air fresheners in junkyard cars. Not long ago, I was at a local self-service yard located right at the very edge of San Francisco Bay, and the wind was howling cold and lonesome off the water and through the picked-over corpses of the cars. That's when I spotted this 80s Cadillac with a "New Car Smell" Little Tree twisting in the wind. So I had to film it. You'll find one in every car, kid. You'll see.
safety
In Russia, Safe Driving Benefits YOU!
There's apparently no end to the amazing car-related stuff the folks at English Russia provide for us; here's a vintage Russian driver's-ed handbook with scary illustrations and lines such as "Don't use vodka as a fuel/Or you'll crash your engine cruel." Best of all, the cars seem to be Zaporozhets! [English Russia]
custom cars
This turkey (spotted by the eagle-eyed Seth L) is based on the teeny Lada Niva 4x4. Don't know the Niva? Imagine a Honda 600 Coupe crossbred with a Yugo. The Niva was Soviet Russia's attempt at a bar bones Subaru. Of course we're hoping our yellow friend here is based off the Cossack model. Also, nice roof rack/brush guard, dork. Enjoy! Update: Another jacked up Niva! [englishrussia.com]
More »
In Russia, Zen Is Going To Find You!
This turkey (spotted by the eagle-eyed Seth L) is based on the teeny Lada Niva 4x4. Don't know the Niva? Imagine a Honda 600 Coupe crossbred with a Yugo. The Niva was Soviet Russia's attempt at a bar bones Subaru. Of course we're hoping our yellow friend here is based off the Cossack model. Also, nice roof rack/brush guard, dork. Enjoy! Update: Another jacked up Niva! [englishrussia.com]
More »
novelty
Still not convinced that englishrussia.com is the greatest website on earth? Check these beauties out: What Russian Autumn Is Really About? Das Vedanya!
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In Russia, Nature Hates YOU!
Still not convinced that englishrussia.com is the greatest website on earth? Check these beauties out: What Russian Autumn Is Really About? Das Vedanya!
More »
question of the day
What Was On Your High School Bedroom Wall?
We're fairly convinced that Jalopnik is actually just a self help group for those suffering withdrawals from lack of hot bedroom poster action. We were all there, which is why we're all here. I actually still have one with a red 308, a white Countach and a black 911 that says "Dreams" at the bottom. I also still have a promo poster from the local Porsche dealer which showed an airborne 911 complete with a plate that reads, "LIEBERMAN" in hot blue dot matrix. I had the above Countach, plus another Countach in white. I had a Porsche 959, an Aston Martin V8 Vantage (though I am pretty sure that was torn from Car & Driver rather than an actual poster), the Benetton F1 team, a Corvette ZR-1, an LM002 (also torn from a magazine), an F40, a Testarosa and at least 3 Shelby Cobras. I also had a 288 GTO poster, though I am sure at the time I thought it was a 308. Quite possibly more. Oddly, I also had the then current gen III Quattroporte, but I was a weird kid. More »
license plate
The 3-Letter Words Your License Plate Can't Say In California!
We all know that the killjoys at the DMV will reject your custom license plate application if you've requested something cool like SCHLONG or YAY PCP (though they didn't stop some Silicon Valley dentist from getting a tasteful HITLER plate for his Mercedes a while back). But what about the three-letter combos that are excluded from the numbering sequence of plain ol' regular plates? We're not shocked to see that they'll never stamp out a plate with sequences such as FCK, SOB, or KKK... but what's wrong with JAZ, PEA, QVA, and YEP? [CALPL8S, scroll to bottom]
question of the day
What's The Worst Car Of All Time?
OK smarty-pants— you dumped all over Dan Neil for being a communist, liberal elite, ivory tower, Jane Fonda French kissing, Volvo/Saab/Prius driving, latte-sipping, car-hating hippie socialist. Sure, he's dead wrong on the Rambo Lambo, but 49 out of 50 ain't bad. So now it's your turn. Show us what you got. Bonus points will be awarded for beating Dan's Cimarron write up ("Everything that was wrong, venal, lazy and mendacious about GM in the 1980s was crystallized in this flagrant insult to the good name and fine customers of Cadillac") and coming up with a viable worst 10 list. Super bonus points will be showered upon the individual who deems to bang out a 50 worst. My vote? See above. Good luck.
retro
Time Magazine: We Gotcher 50 Worst Cars Of All Time!
Since we don't really consider Time Magazine the definitive source for things automotive, we aren't surprised at the wrongness of some of their (well, actually Pulitzer-winning writer Dan Neil's) choices. The Model T? The Fuller Dymaxion? The '71 Imperial? There's something to piss off all of us here, though admittedly they did include such citrusy favorites as the execrable V8-6-4 Caddy and the breathtakingly unreliable Triumph TR-7. In any case, you get a list of a bunch of interesting cars- just the thing for a Monday morning. [Time]
toys
For The Gearheaded Goth Kid Who Has Everything!
From Pushin' Daisies (seller of "mortuary novelties") comes this somewhat disturbing 1:18 scale '66 Caddy hearse, complete with coffin! Now, if only they made a pink Barbie Edition toy hearse - with Ken in the coffin and Barbie wielding a shovel, of course- why, then we'd really have something. [Pushin' Daisies] via [BoingBoing]
news
Legless Drunk Steers Truck While Legged Drunk Works Pedals
So who's actually driving the vehicle, legally speaking, when one guy's at the wheel and another is operating the pedals? And what if the guy at the wheel has no legs? Sadly, the case of Harvey Miller and Edwin H. Marzinske won't be the one that goes all the way to the Supreme Court for a ruling on this burning legal issue, because both of them were schnockered when they tried to drive a Chevy truck home from their Blatz-chugging Wisconsin revelry. [International Herald Tribune]
question of the day
Why Do People Pimp Their Rides?
Today's question hearkens back to Philosophy Week, but with a slight comedic twist. Seriously, yesterday's QOTD proved that we've all seen pimped rides (or at least what in the owner's mind qualified as "pimped") and with very few exceptions they're all pathetic. How many times have you seen a base model 300C with its anemic 2.7-liter V6 barely able to rotate the 22" dubs and sporting at least $5,000 worth of bling? Why not initially spend all that money on a HEMI? Or better yet, the SRT8 6.1-Liter HEMI? Who chooses looks over power? Obviously, these are the kind of thoughts that kept me out of the really good schools. But still, what possesses a person to do these terrible things?
robert pirsig is pissed
Add your own captions, please!
You Call That A Moment Of Zen? This Is A Moment Of Frigging Zen
Add your own captions, please!
question of the day
The Worst Pimp Job You've Ever Seen?
We're going to let commenter JayP71 handle this one:I was driving through my neighborhood last night and noted my landmark for a turn onto the street that crosses mine. This landmark is a early '90s Caddy. The vinyl roof is long gone. The creative owner has replaced it with black sandpaper-like friction tape. He was apparently so proud of how this came out that he carried the theme down to the trunk. In addition this car as the 'Gold' kit, performed with house paint and coarse brushes. Rusty too wide and undersized tires finish out the look of this fine machine. Which brings up the thought: What is the worst pimp out job you've seen inflicted on a helpless automobile?Living where we've lived (all over the Eastside of Los Angeles) we've seen so many horrid pimp-misfires that nothing specific is coming to mind. However, we did know a guy who was serious about getting hydraulics for his 1984 Dodge Colt. You? And the above is the best pimp job, in case you were curious. More »
