And that’s even though Nissan totally wimped out on the truck’s specifications.
The Nissan Patrol is basically an old-school off-road capable SUV popular in the Middle East, Australia and other markets that aren’t ours. Many of these trucks are modified to go dirt driving and dune bashing. This one is built for speed.
Recovering a stuck truck is serious business; there’s a lot of weight and energy at work and if you don’t take safety seriously you can end up like these idiots: dodging a flying steel projectile for dear life.
There three things you need to drive across a river like this; a diesel 4WD, a snorkel intake, and a heavy set of balls.
In most places the 2015 Nissan Patrol is a close cousin of the Infiniti QX80 we have now in America; lots of curves and luxury accessories. But a few markets are holdouts for the old bodystyle; taking us to simpler time when SUVs were square and having two temperature control knobs was a privilege not a right.
The Infiniti QX80 Limited gets kicked down to the kid’s table of luxury SUVs because look at it. But drive the thing and all of a sudden you’re Shallow Hal discovering the majesty of inner beauty. And it goes even deeper than the quilt-stitched seats.
This morning some kind of monster left a Mocha Almond turd on the road in front of my house. Naturally I went rooting around to see if it had eaten anything interesting, but I ended up inside a spectacular cavern of quilted leather and soft wood.
What Americans might vaguely recognize as an Infiniti QX80 is sold in the U.A.E. as the Nissan Patrol, and it’s one of the most popular SUVs in the region. So to pimp their Nismo performance brand in Dubai, Nissan decided to pass on another sports car and slap some splitters on this behemoth.
I am currently in the deep depths of a Nissan Patrol obsession. It is not healthy.
Nissan is promising a new face and fancier trim for their new flagship fatass SUV, the 2015 Infiniti QX80. The current QX has been one of my favorite designs to hate since it was introduced in 2011, so I'm actually pretty excited it's finally going under the knife.
Sheikh Hamad Bin Hamdan Bin Mohamed Al Nahyan needed a new car. Something to simultaneously broadcast his obscene wealth, play in the sand dunes, and make rolling over poor people easy. Thus was born the Black Spider.
The Nissan Patrol's another formerly indestructible off-roader no longer fit for duty in irregular armies across the globe. That's right, the 2011 Patrol's gone soft. No more AK-47-toting rebels. No more danger-filled smuggling routes. Now, only Neimen Marcus assaults.
Globally, Christmas weather is everything from tropical rainforest or frozen snow-piled wasteland. Although everyone wants to get over the river and through the woods to grandmother's house, these are the ten best vehicles for the job with presents in tow.