Spanish Bombs: Cops Play 'Hide the Nightstick' in Cars, Public Incensed

Residents of the Spanish burg of Santiago del Teide are in a tizzy over law-enforcement agents making with the sexual action in patrol cars while on duty. Apparently, these officers enjoy the protection of the mayor, while other cops feel left out on the cold; reprimanded and punished for arriving late for work.… »4/09/07 6:00pm4/09/07 6:00pm

What I Am, What I Want, I'm Only After Death! Psycho Babysitter

From the WTF? File comes this tale from Louisiana of a babysitter who dangled children, ages two and three, in front of oncoming traffic. Apparently, 25-year-old Michelle L. Tyler, charged with the care of the two girls, held the tykes out in front of passing cars; once she realized that no motorist wants a… »3/05/07 5:30pm3/05/07 5:30pm

Apparent Spike in Chrysler LH Platform Vehicle Resale Values

POW! He was decapitated. They found his head over by the snowcone concession. A few days after that, I open up the mail and there's a pamphlet in there, from Pueblo, Colorado. And it's addressed to Bill Jr.

»2/27/07 10:45pm2/27/07 10:45pm

Apparently, other things are afoot in Pueblo, as well. To wit, Nicole Uribe, Irene Lerma and her husband…

A Blind Man Gets Nicked for Being 'Defective' Behind the Wheel

So we can't say that we endorse Omed Aziz' actions. The Iraqi native was busted by British coppers for driving in what the chairman of the bench at Warley Magistrates Court termed "a dangerous, defective state." Why? Well, apparently, Mr. Aziz has no eyes, having lost them in a bomb blast in his homeland. What's… »9/06/06 5:00pm9/06/06 5:00pm

Redneck Yellowjackets Practice Urban Renewal In '55 Chevy

Much like dogs love trucks, yellowjackets apparently love cars. We discovered this the hard way a few years back when a mean-spirited stinging insect jabbed us in the back while we were leaving a stoplight, causing us nearly to put our old Legend into a hedge. Nevertheless, we're once again quite stoked that we don't… »8/23/06 9:15pm8/23/06 9:15pm

Adventures in Dumb: Woman Tosses 69 Speeding Tickets, Faces Time in Hoosegow

You know, we've of course come out vocally against speed cameras, but Francesca Cisneros of Chandler, AZ simply does not give a fuck about them. Or at least, she didn't used to. After racking up 69 speeding tickets since March, all but five of which were camera-capture citations, Cisneros faces eleven large in fines… »8/15/06 5:00pm8/15/06 5:00pm

Boob It Now! UK Woman Selling Honda To Buy Breast Implants

Now here's a woman who truly knows what she wants — and it ain't her Honda Civic 1.6 VTEC. What this woman wants...nay — what this woman, according to her, needs — is a bigger set of breasts. And she's determined to get them — even if it means selling her beloved Honda on eBay. The winner receives not only the… »7/05/06 12:59pm7/05/06 12:59pm

Colbert's Worst Nightmare: Bear Cub Eats Dinner In Back Seat Of Vintage Red Buick; Washes It Down With Jack Daniel's And Absolut

We, like Colbert Report host Stephen Colbert, have a fear bordering on terror when it comes to bears. The thought of what happened to the owners of a vintage red 1964 Buick convertible this holiday weekend over in Lake Tahoe gives us the chills. A hungry bear cub decided a little pick-a-nick basket was the way to go,… »7/05/06 10:00am7/05/06 10:00am