A representative, speaking to us in person at the DatsunDojo, had this to say: "Nissan congratulates Porsche on the obviously (mostly) positive responses evident in the faces of passengers of the new 911 GT3 RS. Clearly, the car is enormously entertaining, and a great deal of fun -- if you're a passenger. We can't help but notice that there were no shots of the driver's face; this is obviously due to the fact that it doesn't make for good press to have the grimaces of a driver in panic in your video. Clearly, Porsche kept that aspect hidden, because they are fully aware that their stubborn insistence on keeping the engine at the wrong end of the car continues to make the car an unmanageable handful, and this is not something they want to share with potential buyers.

Furthermore, Nissan would like to point out that it continues to hold the lead in priceless facial expressions on video. We need only point to two clips, both involving Jeremy Clarkson, a well-known automotive journalist. Firstly, we at Nissan would like to point out that the G-forces involved in driving the GT-R around our test track very nearly pulled Clarkson's head clean off his shoulders. I'm sure you all have YouTube, go look it up. Secondly, in his review of the Gallardo, Clarkson can be seen driving the Porsche and screaming in terror at the top of his lungs. If one wants video testament to the capabilities of a car, we think these are prime examples.

That said, however, we would like to congratulate Porsche on their latest version of the GT3 RS. While we are certain it will not top the performance of the GT-R, it is nevertheless a very impressive car -- for what is essentially an updated Beetle."

In other news, when reached for comment at a Dunkin Donuts in downtown Detroit, a representative from the Corvette ZR1 team made this statement: "Sure, I seen that video. Nice work, Volkswagen. But I think y'all need to realize who we got in charge here, and I'll tell you what, you ain't NEVER shit yer britches like ya will when ya go for a ride in a plane with Bob Lutz. Now tell me that a man like that can't figger out how to thrill ya in a car.

Shit, son, I didn't mean it like THAT, the Corvette ain't even got a back seat!"