Lamborghinis used to be known for being outrageous, nowadays they're civilized, DRIVEABLE by the average joe. And then 209mph. What's outrageous about that?! A Koenigsegg doesn't have that much more power and can go well into the 240MPH range. But 209? Really? Is that all you could muster?

I miss the old Lambo, the one lacking any kind of logic or concern for safety. This car is not the Countach, even though it does sport stick-on downforce parts.

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"Good evening, ladies (wink, wink) and gentlemen. Today is a monumental day in the history of Automobili Lamborghini, as monumental as the day when the great Ferrucio started stuffing V12's into tractors."

*general laughter*

"We have been taking a good look at our environmental impact, and suffice to say, a Murcielago isn't as economical as a Prius, even though it probably is less damaging to make one and transport one. Unless you take a private cargo jet to change its oil, that is."

*more laughter, camera shutters"

"Our environmental team has studied our environmental problems closely and concluded there are other huge worries alongside global warming, which many still claim to be a falsity. The problem that I am about to divulge upon shall lead to far more suffering, it will lead to famine, to wars, to the apocalypse."

*Gasp! Wide eyes staring*

"This plight, ladies and gentlemen, is the decline of bees population."

*lols, rofls, lmaos, roflmaos*

"The evidence strongly suggests that there will be a shortage of food due to the lack of bees pollinating plants, and we all know what happens when food becomes short and primal instincts take over. This is much worsened by the existence of nuclear weapons in the hands of many nations."

*more lols, rofls, lmaos, roflmaos, a couple of concerned faces now*

"Well, fear no more. Lamborghini proudly presents the Murcielago LP670-4 SuperVeloce. Its many hexagonal shaped mesh intakes and cooling duct covers lead bees to believe it is actually a hive and thus begin to manifest in the vehicle. Rather than using a traditional gasoline V12 that would kill the bees with immense heat and suction, we have put a superconducting magnet in there, but limited top speed to 209mph rather than warp speed, due to intergalactic land speed restrictions. The "honey yellow" paint further lengthens its attraction to bees. We have also limited the numbers to 350, as any more than that would cause too many bee colonies and too many bees as a result, which, I'm sure you all know by now, is unpleasant in human societies, and also cause ecological imbalance. This car, research has predicted, should double the bee population around the world in just over 5 years, bringing an end to famines, allowing extended prosperity."

*stunned faces, shock, lols*

"Thank you, ladies and gentlemen, this concludes our presentation, good night."

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Ken Block's Subaru video was much, much better.

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What isn't a word?

Bonerific.

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Just not freaking cool.

XOXOXO,
JDuffy13

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