O, what a falling off was there! I remember when Mobil sponsored Masterpiece Theatre on PBS. And now this guy. Hey, does it cost more if I use HD 10w-30w? Synthetic?

I don't want any light weight stuff, I don't want my painting to start smoking or anything, but I need to be able to start it on cold mornings.

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I think I'll buy the painting, do a UOA and post it on BITOG.

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(for all my black brothers, I´m just joking)

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See, in high school, I went to this small church where a few of my friends were involved in the youth group. We were all mostly gear heads and it was a cool way to spend an otherwise boring Thursday night. After church, we'd all head out to McDonald's or Burger King to hang out for a while.

Well, there were a couple of guys in this group who just didn't fit. They were challenged; I guess that's the nice way to say it. And one night after church, we go to McDonald's, and it was a particularly large crowd from the church, and there were a lot of people in the restaurant, too.

You know, for a teenage boy, it's kind of cool to be in a big group and be around a lot of attractive girls and just be teenagers in a small town where there's nothing to do and nowhere to go within driving distance that's worth driving to. My friends and I were having fun, talking, flirting with some of the girls, carefree and happy. And then it happened.

The oldest guy in the group was at the counter, working a sleek little blonde for her phone number, when the two challenged boys started shoving each other. The shorter of the two then screamed, with a voice so shrill and loud and that everything in the restaurant stopped. It was dead silent for at least a minute after this.

The words he uttered, with spittle and fury flying from his lips, were these: "That's it! I'm tired of you making fun of me! I have to defend my honor! That's why I'm ch-ch-challenging you to a speed skating duel!" Halfway through the silence, he mumbles as an aside, "Even though I know you'll beat me, cause I'm no good at speed skating."

So you see, the validity of this challenge may be perfectly reasonable and practical in the eyes of most everyone else in the world. But to me, the response I want to give is the same one the guy at counter who was getting so far with that cute blonde who broke the awkward silence by asking, "Are you with those guys?"

Instead of answering, he palmfaced, then turned and screamed, "What the hell is wrong with you two? We're in public! This is why we can never go anywhere nice!"

So you see, I can take anyone--big corporation or not--who challenges others to a duel seriously. And why, every time I see the words 'challenge' and 'duel' used in the same sentence, I laugh.

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