Jalopnik: moment of zen

If Ikea Sold Race Cars...

Murilee Martin — Sun, 06 Dec 2009 23:00:00 EST

In all the excitement of the Scuderia Flatpack V8olvo getting on its roof at Thunderhill we forgot all about their incredible new team logo!

Just picture it: you head into the friendly blue-and-yellow warehouse store, shopping for a race car. Do you go for the Röttrï RX-7, or maybe the Chëëtüß E30? No, you want the Ford V8 in an intensely Swedish Volvo 240! Grab the flat-pack of the Swäpt V8olvo and put it on your heavy-duty shopping cart! I'll be wearing my Swäpt T-shirt with great pride.

Roll Cage Stress Test In 3... 2... 1...

Murilee Martin — Sat, 28 Nov 2009 20:00:00 EST

It's one thing to see the Killer Bees MGB get PIT-Maneuvered at the 24 Hours Of LeMons Arse Freeze-A-Palooza last weekend, and another to see that poor MG about to get slammed upside-down into the dirt.
Thanks to Chris Owens for the photograph!

The De Tomaso Mangusta is The Bee’s Knees

Peter Orosz — Mon, 16 Nov 2009 16:00:00 EST

One may be tempted to think of the De Tomaso Mangusta as nothing more than a poor man’s Lamborghini Miura. This period photo should be quick to dispel such notions.

And if you’ll feast your eyes on the Mangusta prototype, with its front bumper so low it’s positioned to shatter every knee on impact, you’ll perhaps conclude that even in spite of its comically bad weight distribution of 32/68 and its tendency for instant decomposition, the Mangusta was serious business.

I will not even mention the gullwinged engine bay:

Photo Credit: Daniel Große

Ayrton Washes His NSX

Peter Orosz — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 10:00:00 EST

Here is Ayrton Senna hosing down his red Honda NSX with a manly jet of water. Further commentary is wholly unnecessary. Go and wash your car!

Even On The Ground, Steve McQueen Is Cooler Than You

Peter Orosz — Mon, 26 Oct 2009 17:30:00 EDT

In case you were wondering, no, you cannot lie on the ground in a Nomex racing suit and expect to look cool. Only Steve McQueen can pull that off.

Property-Value-Lowering Force Field... ENGAGED!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 20:00:00 EDT

There's something satisfying about the sight of the Murilee Martin Motor Pool.

Is it the beat-to-hell Civic covered with stickers and Citroën emblems? The fact that I own Project Car Hell Vehicle Numero Uno? Or the ex-parole-officer Crown Vic P71 with the big ol' cop-dazed-by-donuts telephone-pole dent in the door? Yes!

The Ford GT40: From Back When Exhaust Pipes Weren't Styled

Peter Orosz — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 13:30:00 EDT

Quick! Name something that looks cooler from the rear than a Ford GT40!

Stumped, aren’t you?

Photo Credit: ANITA.trans - My way of life/Flickr

Mad About The Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG

Peter Orosz — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 08:00:00 EDT

You’ve seen the unveiling. You’ve read that it’s going digital. What you haven’t seen was the sheer excitement on the scene in Frankfurt when Mercedes–Benz revealed the SLS AMG.

Even though there hangs a faint air of retrograde desperation about the new Gullwing, with its signature design element a structural necessity on the 1952 racing original and a mere styling choice on the new car, it is a sight to behold in the flesh.

Yes, it may be nothing more than a sports car with a quirky door. But if you do shell out the quarter million dollars it will cost, you’ll end up with a Gullwing-ish car for half the price of a vintage 300SL.

With the added benefit of AMG’s fabulous 6.3-liter V8 and the relief of not having to care about what will soon be a 60-year-old car.

If you want to go for grungy race car looks, make sure you order yours with the matte black disguising elements seen on the leaked photos of test mules, complete with the bumps reminiscent of the skin of humpback whales.

And should you look real close at the picture on top, you will see yours truly in the Frankfurt mayhem, crammed up against the right door in a lobster red backpack, aiming a white telephoto lens at Lewis Hamilton and Dr. Z:

Hi Lewis!

Photo Credit: SASCHA SCHUERMANN/AFP/Getty Images, Mercedes-Benz, Gawid/autoscoop.biz, TORSTEN SILZ/AFP/Getty Images

A Little Mixup On The Way To Barrett-Jackson

Murilee Martin — Sat, 19 Sep 2009 17:00:00 EDT

Jump, They Say

Peter Orosz — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 10:00:00 EDT

Before there was YouTube, there was the animated GIF, home of pixellated photos and hypnotizing loops. To celebrate this quirky remnant of the 80s this Friday morning, here's a yellow Civic tackling a Corkscrew-ish corner. Click through for the animation.

Want Fender Vents For Your Old Land Rover? Home Depot Is Open Late!

Murilee Martin — Sun, 10 May 2009 19:00:00 EDT

The advantage to using a heat register is the handy open/close feature!

This Land Rover in Worcester (the left-hand-drive steering wheel makes us assume that's the one in Massachusetts, not England) now has that special custom touch that really sets it apart from all the other beater trucks in the neighborhood. But why not go for the added class of brass? Thanks to Malik for the tip!

Central Casting? Send One Camaro Driver, Pronto!

Murilee Martin — Sat, 09 May 2009 18:00:00 EDT

Ze Germans Vill Race Anything!

Ray Wert — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 12:00:00 EDT

Competitors speed down a street during the second German office chair racing championship in the village of Bad Koenig-Zell April 25.

Photo Credit: REUTERS/Johannes Eisele

(Hat tip to Dave!) [via Boston.com]

Do You REALLY Need Those Pinto Parts?

Murilee Martin — Sat, 18 Apr 2009 19:00:00 EDT

Mmmm, toxic junkyard mud!

At Least The Volga Will Be Remembered Fondly

Matt Hardigree — Mon, 23 Feb 2009 18:00:00 EST

Another photo from the happy past shows former Presidents Bush And Putin driving the Russian leader's awesome 1956 Volga around Moscow. Four years later and Russian-American relations have never been stronger!

Official Caption
This May 8, 2005 file photo shows US President George W. Bush (R) and Russian President Vladimir Putin waving as the two leaders take a ride in Putin's 1956 Volga before dinner at Putin's residence outside Moscow.

Photo Credit: TIM SLOAN/AFP/Getty Images

Point and Laugh, Or Weep For The Future: You Decide

Ben Wojdyla — Fri, 20 Feb 2009 19:00:00 EST

It's hard to say whether we should be proud or ashamed this image drove us to find where it was taken. Oroville, California, intersection of 5th Avenue and Oro Dam Boulevard. Feel sad and laugh.

No Polar Bears On The Bus!

Ben Wojdyla — Mon, 16 Feb 2009 18:30:00 EST

There's no context for this image, but we suspect a huge polar bear poking his huge head into your repurposed school bus is the kind of thing to get some hearts racing. Feeling zen now?

[Source: Unknown]

Hacked GAZ With Cat Parade

Murilee Martin — Fri, 23 Jan 2009 18:00:00 EST

Are those louvers for a rear-engine setup in this Volga, perhaps some nightmarish GAZ-ZAZ hybrid?

Photo credit: Aleksey Petrosian, via English Russia

GM CEO Rick Wagoner's Chevy Volt Beats A Toyota Prius In Washington

Matt Hardigree — Fri, 05 Dec 2008 18:15:00 EST

We appreciate the exuberance of the good people over at GM-Volt regarding the 2011 Chevy Volt. In the midst of the Carpocalypse it's nice to see someone excited about GM product that doesn't begin with a "C" and end in either a "V" or a "ZR1." Still, we can't help but enjoy the humor in the statement posted with this picture:

That’s GM’s CEO Rick Wagoner driving the Volt experimental prototype mule car of the right making sure to stay one step a head of the Prius!

Well, at least it's one way that GM can stay ahead of Toyota in the alternative-energy game.

[GM-Volt[

Wrench Man Needs But One Appendage

Murilee Martin — Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:30:00 EST

The artist responsible for this sign advertising the services of Alameda Auto Lab appears to have had an interesting perspective on both human anatomy and vehicle design.