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Detroit, 3:08 AM
Fri Dec 4
27 posts in the last 24 hours

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    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of billybobster billybobster
    08/13/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses

    Late entry but I believe worthy... in so many ways...
     Reply
    Formerlythegreatestdriver promoted this comment billybobster was starred billybobster was unstarred
    Image of HoonThatFerrari HoonThatFerrari
    08/12/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Possible Captions, in order of appearance:

    COLEMAN: "Fuckin'-A-Skippy! I get do to something else besides say: 'Whatchu talkin' 'bout, Willis?'"
    HASSELHOFF: "I've just ingested fifteen grams of Peruvian Flake, and BOYYYY am I fucked-up! Who's this f*cking Toys'R'Us mannequin standing next to me?"

    FIDDYCENT: "BeeyAAATCH, Ho, muthafacka-muthafucka... n*gggAAAAA please! Oh, and PEACE!"

    TRAVOLTA: "Check it, Mista Kottah - I can make a noise like a motahcycle... 'Waaaahhhh, WAAwwwuuuuuhhh", Wauuunnnnnh".'
    M.LAWRENCE: "Wat the f*ck are you doin', bitch? And who the f*ck is this Mr. Kotter?"
    T.ALLEN: "I think he's channelling a character from a previous acting life... or maybe Xenu."

    M.JOHNSON: "I am WAY too cool for this shot... and definitely too cool for the Armani linen jacket they wanted me to wear... WTF do they think this is, Miami f*ckin' Vice or some shit like that?"

    M.KUNIS: "I have no ass... see? Really, no ass whatsoever. No kidding - this is really me... me with no ass. Ass-less people can be considered handicapped, can't they?"

    PHELPS: "See this thing I'm doing with my hand? It's a surfer thing - originated in Hawaii... no, I don't surf, it's just to make me look cool, just like the pot-smoking thing - I mean I don't know what cool is, since I've spent my entire life in a swimming pool since I was four with no social interaction whatsoever, so I saw this surfer hand-thing in a magazine one day & just decided to try it... is it working? Does it make you want to buy a Mazda? Gee, I hope so... if it doesn't, you wanna just hang out & smoke some weed?"

    AGASSI: "Hi I'm Andre... I'm bald now - well, not really bald, but just one of those guys that just shaves his head to LOOK bald because it's better than the receding hairline thing for someone who used to have a veritable lion's mane of hair. You like that I know the word 'veritable', huh? Yeah, and you thought I was just a dumb tennis player - well I scored a hot German chick, and a bunch of cool trophies to go above my fireplace - what have YOU done? That's right, uh-huh."

    PHOTOG: "OK, Danica, give me 'SEXY'! "
    DANICA: "What's that?"P
    HOTOG: "Ummm... you know - HOT... SEDUCTIVE!"
    DANICA: "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about."
    PHOTOG: "Ummm.... ok.... "
    DANICA: "I can stand like this if you want."
    PHOTOG: "Ummm, ok, yeah, that's good."
    DANICA: "Is that sexy?"
    PHOTOG: "Oh, yeah, definitely that'll work great."
    DANICA: "OK, thanks, I have to go do a porn shoot next - thanks for all the tips."

    WEST: "OK, so I understand you just had a shoot with Danica Patrick - how did that go?"
    PHOTOG: "Ahhh, it was ok."
    WEST: "Alrighty then, so I'll just stand right here then, yes?" ***ZING! POW! BLAM!***
    PHOTOG: "WTF was that???"
    WEST: "That was me, punching you in the face, just like this... ...how'd THAT feel? ***ZING! POW! BLAM!***
    PHOTOG: "Well, not too good, actually... I think you bloodied my nose that time."
    WEST: "Still got it, don't I? Ha-HAAAA! . ***ZING! BLANG! PHWAMMM!***
    PHOTOG: "OK, f*cker, KNOCK THAT OFF!"
    WEST: ***ZING! BLAM! KAPLOWEE!***PHOTOG: "F*ck this... I'm outta here."

    O'BRIEN: "In the year two thousaaaaaaaand...."
    FORD EXEC: "That's not really what we're going for with this sequence."
    O'BRIEN: "OK, how about we go with the mastubating bear? You know... could show how EXCITED he is about the car! Heh. Heh. Heh.
    FORD EXEC: "Ummm... why don't you just pose by the car in this racing suit for a few minutes & I hand you a check, ok?

    STING: "PRIIIIIIIIIuuusss... you don't have to wear that red paint job tonight... PRIIIIIIuuuuss... you don't have to sell your bat'ry to the night..."
    TOYOTAGUY: "Sting, we don't really need a jingle, just a pic is fine"
    STING: "Wait, lemme try again... how about: 'We-are Hybrids... in-the-material-world/are Hybrids... in-the-material-wooooooorrrrld...', like it?"
    TOYOTAGUY: "No, really - it's not necessary."
    STING: "A sleep trance, a dream dance... A shaped romance - Prionicity...?"
    TOYOTAGUY: Thanks - here's your check.

    SCHUMI: "Twelve cylinders in this van, right?"
    SHOW PRODUCER: "I don't even know what that means."
    SCHUMI: "Well, this is going to be competitive, right? I mean we need to get there faster than every other Gardener, right?
    SHOW PRODUCER: "Ummm... I think that's just kind of an 'idiom', as it were.
    SCHUMI: "An 'idiom', like a theme, or an 'idiom', like a 'melieu'?
    SHOW PRODUCER: "OK, you got me there."
    SCHUMI: "Then f*ck it... I'm calling in my neck injury."
     Reply
    Formerlythegreatestdriver promoted this comment Edited by HoonThatFerrari at 08/12/09 12:35 AM HoonThatFerrari was starred HoonThatFerrari was unstarred
    Image of FTGDWolverineEdition'09 FTGDWolverineEdition'09
    08/12/09

    @HoonThatFerrari: Lol! I h-click for that!
     Reply
    FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was starred FTGDWolverineEdition'09 was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/12/09

    @HoonThatFerrari: Hillarious! Heart-click. I hope more people come back and actually read that...
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of acarr260 acarr260
    08/12/09

    @HoonThatFerrari: I only recall one COTD from a post that wasn't from that day. I hope that Matt sees this one, because it should definitely be in the running. heart-click.
     Reply
    acarr260 was starred acarr260 was unstarred
    Image of bmoreDLJ bmoreDLJ
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    #2: 50's foot is so precariously perched on that non-bumper, I feel like the lightest poke to the back could cause a bad slip and a fall (and an even more embarrassing picture.)
    Also it doesn't look cool. He's just scuffing the clearcoat!
     Reply
    bmoreDLJ was starred bmoreDLJ was unstarred
    Image of Buickboy92 Buickboy92
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Awesome! Thanks Jalopnik, for using My suggestion! I'm very grateful.
     Reply
    It'sHateOhioDayToday promoted this comment Buickboy92 was starred Buickboy92 was unstarred
    Image of Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. .
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    FOMOCO loves the SHO and the CoCo.
     Reply
    Edited by Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . at 08/11/09 2:02 PM Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was starred Schm, enjoying his first desert winter. . was unstarred
    Image of philibuster philibuster
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    When conan showed us the wasp's nest in the trunk: Amazing.
     Reply
    philibuster was starred philibuster was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Gary Coleman. KITT. The HOFF!
    I can feel my hair growing back!
    No. No, wait. I can't. IT'S MY HEAD EXPLODING FROM THE AWESOME.
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of Iron-Balls Minardi Iron-Balls Minardi
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses

    Still just my second favorite Gary Coleman photo.
     Reply
    Iron-Balls Minardi was starred Iron-Balls Minardi was unstarred
    Image of stinkycatfish stinkycatfish
    08/11/09

    @Iron-Balls Minardi: Is that Ralph Fiennes? Is he saying, "Do you see what I've become!?"
     Reply
    stinkycatfish was starred stinkycatfish was unstarred
    Image of Iron-Balls Minardi Iron-Balls Minardi
    08/11/09

    @stinkycatfish: Mark Messier in the Rangers locker room. If you click you see how disturbingly short the towel is.
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick promoted this comment Edited by Iron-Balls Minardi at 08/11/09 1:37 PM Iron-Balls Minardi was starred Iron-Balls Minardi was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/11/09

    @Iron-Balls Minardi: Oh God damn it... Why did I do that...

    I think I saw his bean bag...
     Reply
    Edited by Scandinavian Flick at 08/11/09 2:11 PM Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: nope, that was his stubby*
    why, yes that was a Canadian Joke in regards to what the old beer bottles back in the day were called, looks like he was a export fan to boot!
     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    08/11/09

    @Iron-Balls Minardi: are you sure that he isn't in some locker room in Edmonton or something?
     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of cgarison cgarison
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Conan looks like Bill Elliot Circa 1992 posing beside that SHO.
     Reply
    Elhigh promoted this comment cgarison was starred cgarison was unstarred
    Image of Elhigh Elhigh
    08/11/09

    @cgarison: Isn't that about the time Bill took his foot off the gas and started letting people pass?
     Reply
    Elhigh was starred Elhigh was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses

    Click on it: It's worth it.
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick:
    Okay...how did you do that? New tutorial, Mr. Flick....PLEEZE! I want that....PUHLEEZ!
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick promoted this comment skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of mr_dude mr_dude
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: I is speechless.
     Reply
    mr_dude was starred mr_dude was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/11/09


    @skaycog misses lost friends: I wish I could claim that one. It's been around for a while though. The only way I know how to do gif animations is by creating each frame in Photoshop and stitching them together in ImageReady. You can dictate how long each frame is displayed, and in what order. The only one I have done is this one which I use as my signature on the BMW forums (which I rarely visit...)
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick:
    BMW flashing lights is clever, Mr. Flick. 1000 thanks, friend, but that is over my head and expertise.
     Reply
    skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of B1663R B1663R
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: you sir are a god amongst mere mortals
     Reply
    B1663R was starred B1663R was unstarred
    Image of ampedpack ampedpack
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: Ossum mods. How much auto-x time did you drop with the license plate mount delete, yo?
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick promoted this comment ampedpack was starred ampedpack was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/11/09

    @ampedpack: Not as much as I did when I replaced the driver's door hinge.
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of Ruthless, If you let me Ruthless, If you let me
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: You sir, did not lie. Totally worth it. Put a sorely needed smile on my face. Heart click for you.
     Reply
    Ruthless, If you let me was starred Ruthless, If you let me was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/11/09

    @A Deafening Silence: Glad I could help :)
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of MushyHeirloom MushyHeirloom
    08/11/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: I love it. I use UnFreez, myself, but my only real creation is a colour-changing plushroom.
     Reply
    Edited by MushyHeirloom at 08/11/09 6:00 PM MushyHeirloom was starred MushyHeirloom was unstarred
    Image of PlayerX PlayerX
    08/12/09

    @Scandinavian Flick: That's ironic, right? I hope it is....
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick promoted this comment Edited by PlayerX at 08/12/09 12:17 AM PlayerX was starred PlayerX was unstarred
    Image of Scandinavian Flick Scandinavian Flick
    08/12/09

    @PlayerX: I get that a lot about it... I really thought it would be more obvious... Some moron on the BMW form actually really thought I was serious and complimented me on my mods... Apparently some people are too dense to grasp irony...
     Reply
    Scandinavian Flick was starred Scandinavian Flick was unstarred
    Image of skaycog skaycog
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses

    My choice of ridiculous is Burt Reynolds sitting on roof of Trans Am. Now the roof has a big butt dent in it.
     Reply
    discontinuuity is missing Uncle Pete, the Auto Insider, and the Banhammered Nine promoted this comment skaycog was starred skaycog was unstarred
    Image of devilock138 devilock138
    08/11/09

    @skaycog misses lost friends: Looks like Burt is taking a massive in the T-top.
     Reply
    devilock138 was starred devilock138 was unstarred
    Image of cgarison cgarison
    08/11/09

    @devilock138: What is awkward is that is not the cool Trans Am from the first movie, but the questionable underpowered hulk from the second.
     Reply
    P161911 now with M POWER! promoted this comment cgarison was starred cgarison was unstarred
    Image of P161911 probably shoudn't have P161911 probably shoudn't have
    08/11/09

    @cgarison: He's just got a brick on the gas pedal and waiting for the turbo boost to kick in.
     Reply
    P161911 probably shoudn't have was starred P161911 probably shoudn't have was unstarred
    Image of cgarison cgarison
    08/12/09

    @P161911 now with M POWER!: I thought that Jerry Reed in Bandit III. :D
     Reply
    cgarison was starred cgarison was unstarred
    Image of Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Can celebrity please be over now?
     Reply
    Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was starred Van Sarockin, rogue trebuchet was unstarred
    Image of TimTim TimTim
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    I'm really liking this new segment where you list off all the 'winners' from the previous day's QOTD. Sort of gives closure on any remaining debate, plus it's fun to look back when the responses were so hilarious.
     Reply
    TimTim was starred TimTim was unstarred
    Image of mr_dude mr_dude
    08/11/09

    @TimTim wears black for our banned brethren: Whatever, we're being vampired.
     Reply
    mr_dude was starred mr_dude was unstarred
    Image of Syrax Syrax
    08/11/09

    @mr_dude: Bloodcopy?
     Reply
    Syrax was starred Syrax was unstarred
    Image of Bullitt417 Bullitt417
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    Ok.. So the Knight Rider picture has made my morning. Kitt, David Hasselhoff and Gary Coleman...I feel like there should be a punchline here: oh wait yeah... their careers (after their respected shows went off the air)
     Reply
    mr_dude promoted this comment Bullitt417 was starred Bullitt417 was unstarred
    Image of scroggzilla raids again scroggzilla raids again
    08/11/09

    In reply to Twelve Ridiculous Celebrity Car Poses
    I have to say that Danica Patrick photo is so bad, even Larry Flynt wound find it to be in poor taste. Stay classy, Danica.
     Reply
    scroggzilla raids again was starred scroggzilla raids again was unstarred
    Image of NiceNurseRatched NiceNurseRatched
    08/11/09

    @SCROGGS!!!: Danica will do anything to keep people from noticing her freakishly large neck. Thus, the bizarre choker/sunken chin/spread-eagle pose you see here. A perfect storm of visually disturbing elements designed to keep you from thinking "that chick is kinda' cute, but she has the neck of a free safety."
     Reply
    SCROGGS!!! promoted this comment NiceNurseRatched was starred NiceNurseRatched was unstarred
    Image of skierpage skierpage
    08/11/09

    @NiceNurseRatched: Let us know when your neck is beefy enough to withstand the forces in IndyCar racing, mmmkay?
     Reply
    skierpage was starred skierpage was unstarred
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