michael harold lynch

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You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins

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something_unique_and_descriptive
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Now, in this guys defense, 19 over in certain areas of Bellevue (construction or no) would likely get you pulled over for obstructing traffic.
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413wedge
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
I don't blame that guy. Unfortunately, law enforcement and "justice" in the USA seems all about revenue collection, property forfeiture and greed now. A few years ago, one of the local crackheads (who lived behind me with his grandpa, and is well known to the prosecutor and cops) decided to steal my US Cargo race car trailer. He cut two pad locks and broke my hitch lock to get it. I called the cops immediately when I discovered it missing. Had to go to the station to file a report. The crackhead was later caught by the cops with a stolen Kubota back hoe in it supposedly trying to sell the whole deal to an undercover cop for $300.00. The little bastard told the cops I "loaned" him the trailer and he "borrowed" it all the time, a couple of big fat lies! So the "law" impounded my trailer and held it as "evidence" for almost six months. At the time, I was racing for the championship at our local drag strip and had to buy another fucking trailer to haul my race car.

They finally decided to "release" my stolen trailer, not after the dozens of calls, visits and letters from me (and my lawyer), but after I inadvertantly ran into a deputy who knew my dad (who had recently passed away) and told him my story. BUT they charged me $12.50 PER DAY STORAGE! Had to pay it or they were gonna keep my trailer!!!! "Your insurance will pay for it". BULLSHIT!!! What normal guy can afford FULL coverage nowadays??? The impound yard had obviously been using my trailer while they had it. It was scratched all to fuck, filthy, shitty wiring repairs, everything missing and the tires were WORN out! So I paid 'em almost what a new trailer would cost but it WAS MY TRAILER! The crackhead thief was never charged nor procecuted for stealing my trailer (he supposedly turned state's evidence on another caper...). Now the ONLY time I would ever bother the pirate cops with ANYTHING is if I absolutely had to have a police report for insurance purposes. Otherwise its probably a waste of time, at least around here.

My only recourse was to sue the kid in civil court, he has nothing so why bother?
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

@bigblockautoX: I would have tried to go after the tow yard for fees related to the unauthorized use of your property. You might have had better luck with that angle.
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Michael J Backus
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
No doubt the court was conflicted.

Urine/ The Money...

Urine/ The Money...
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

@Michael J Backus: You've got a lot of what it takes to get around...
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DoctorNine
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Umm... It's not always sterile. They have these things called urinary tract infections and STD's . And there are some bacteria that actually PREFER to live in urine. They are called urea-splitters, and they derive energy by that mechanism. So urine CAN be nasty. It generally isn't, but still...
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Sqube
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
I'd have sympathy if he wasn't completely wrong. This wasn't 36 in a 35. It was 54 in a 35 in a construction site.

That's just fucktarded, and he fully deserved to get the ticket. Tickets suck, but he fully deserved that one. Then to react like that?

Douche.
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smalleyxb122
03/26/09

@Sqube: While you are probably right, I have to question the circumstances of the citation, as I was once ticketed for 52 in a 35 construction zone.

In my own perception, I was singled out because I was the one person on the road at the time that was driving the safest.

Approaching the speed trap, I let off the accelerator to coast back from the car in front of me to avoid the hard braking that I was seeing ahead. The officer seemed to take personal offense that while every car was traveling at 50+ mph, I was the only one who didn't brake like a reactionary monkey at the sight of him.

I have never had an officer approach my car so riled up. Jumping and screaming, and shoving the radar gun in my face.

In my full defense, workers were not present in the construction zone, and it would have been more hazardous to not exceed the posted limit given the traffic conditions.

That said, he (Michael Lynch) was legally entirely in the wrong, and empirically likely in the wrong, but without the full set of circumstances, I will hesitate to make a judgment on the speeding. I will still pass judgment on the piss coins, and agree with you that he is a douche.

I paid my fine. With a check. At the courthouse. In person. And, apart from the occasional anecdotal recap, I got on with my life.
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BMRFILE
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
They cannot deny payment. A bag of coins worth $206 is the same as $206 in paper currency.
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

@BMRFILE: Actually there is a point where coinage legally ceases to be legal tender (I'm guessing it's over $206, though). The fact that the coins are submerged in a noxious substance makes them refusable also. As I pointed out before, they really missed the boat not nailing him for 49CFR violations.
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Boosted Lego Wagon
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Headline:

Golden Shower on Shower of Gold Nets Scolding and Glowers.
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Braff
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
maybe he should have been driving a GEM pee-pod... wocka wocka

(any excuse to reuse an old photoshop)

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Braff
03/26/09

@BrAff:

AHHH - bring back preview...
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OldeEnglishD
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Yellow haze all in my change
Lately days they all seem the same
Smelly funny and I know why
Scuse me while piss in your eye
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JawzX2: Hoon The Earth @ www.cafepress.com/jawzx2
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
What about the IRS, can I pay them with urine soaked coins?
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smalleyxb122
03/26/09

@JawzX2 hearts Beer: Yes. But don't forget to act surprised when you are "randomly" flagged for an audit.
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ThreeLitre
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
that's excellent. The parking office in the town where I live is run by an unholy union of Nazis and the Mafia. They could do with receiving urine-soaked payment.

Case in point of how ridiculous they are: about .5 miles as the crow flies from my apartment, but probably a full mile as you have to drive around several streets, is a small blue strobe light attached to a telephone pole. The pole is located on a road just off one of the more major entrances into the neighborhood, but by no means the only way to get to the area. Apparently, when this blue light is flashing, it means there is a 'snow emergency', and all streets in the vicinity, including mine, that are permit parking only to begin with, further restrict parking to only one side of the street. My friend from out of town got ticketed for $50 ($50!!!) for not moving his car, and so did the other 20 people on the street. We had no idea why, and when we complained they wouldn't reverse the ticket because 'we should have known it was a snow emergency'

Mafia and Nazis. one bad combo.
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engineerd
03/26/09

@nhubbell84: An unholy union, you say. Like the Teamsters?
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Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
03/26/09

@nhubbell84:I sympathise, but he's lucky, really. Here he would've been towed to an impound lot- that adds up to a lot more than 50 bucks.
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Well, either the package showed up properly labeled as UN3373, Biological Substance, Category B and properly packaged, somebody really screwed the pooch by giving him a pass on mailing it. It may not be a violation of any postal regulations, but it certainly seems to have been in violation of the regulations put forth in 49CFR, Subchapter C, Part 172. They could have fined him $25k for every violation of the applicable portions of these regs, so I'm guessing (without seeing the box) that the minimum fine would be $100k. Makes that $206 look like chump change, doesn't it?
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Cognitive Friction
03/26/09

@Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: You sound like a veteran of mailing urine-filled bags to people...are you a fellow Cleveland Browns fan by chance?
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

@Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: "...properly packaged, or somebody really..." There, fixed that for you.
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mikedrawcar
03/26/09

@Mike the Dog will work for a Preview Button!: pours out bag...
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Mike the Dog is sitting by the door with a pair of cow slippers, and a very sad face.
03/26/09

@Cognitive Friction: No, I used to work in Shipping and Receiving at a Big Pharma research lab.
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Dr. H. F. Danger
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
He has it all wrong, its all about Ass Pennies

You handle my ass pennies everyday. You pick up my ass pennies for good luck. You throw my ass pennies in fountains and make wishes on them.

HA!
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Cognitive Friction
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Everyone who thinks this is funny would do well to remember that those coins will be back in circulation eventually...
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beercheck
03/26/09

In reply to You Can't Pay Speeding Tickets With $206 In Urine-Soaked Coins
Urine a lot of trouble now, buddy.
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Syrax
03/26/09

@beercheck: I was expecting this kind of linguistic expertise. Well done.
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Serious Mopar Jones- Incurable
03/26/09

@beercheck: COTD as far as I'm concerned.
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