Yesterday you provided a pinto with a plethora of positive platitudes proving that performance pulverizes picayune pedigree. Today, we're going to visit Ellis Island.

The Ford Motor Company has been a global auto maker for nearly 100 years, and their vehicles built and sold outside the U.S. were eventually designed to conform to the needs of those specific markets. The Blue Oval company has also had a long history of bringing these foreign-Fords to the U.S. in an attempt to fill a supposed market niche. Some were more successful than others- the Mercury Capri being a notable example. Others, such as the Cortina, Fiesta, and Australian Capri convertible were less so, and most of these exchange students have been orphaned by their host family in Dearborn, who turn out the lights and refuse to answer the door when they come a knocking.

In the mid-eighties, Ford decided to not only bring over one of their most popular and award-winning models from Europe, but to create a spankin' new brand under which to sell them. Sadly, Ford chose to name the germanic brand the same as that of custodial parent Mercury, only in its native Deutsch, thus birthing Merkur . This proved nearly unpronounceable by the vast majority of Mercury sales people, condemning the cars to being called Merkers, murkurs, murkins, or worse. The appellation confusion was only exacerbated by the jelly-bean shape and unique detailing, highlighted by the double rear wing and a third side window that seemed to serve no purpose but to piss people off by its mere presence. The XR4Ti was based on the hottest version of Ford's European Cortina replacement, the Sierra, which had been winning accolades since its introduction. Powered in the U.S. by the sturdy 2.3 Turbo from the Mustang and T-Bird, the car brought sophistication and driving dynamics beyond anything Ford offered to domestic buyers at the time. Unfortunately, the weird overwhelmed the wonderful, and, in the face of impending safety requirements, the XR4Ti, along with its Scorpio big brother, were sent back to home country when their visas ran out in 1989.

But that was not before this metallic blue ‘88 hit our shores. Turning down the weird a bit, this car has the later single plane rear spoiler, but maintains the two-tone appearance with unpainted plastic cladding and bumpers. Built in Cologne, and modded for the U.S. market (700 changes!) by Karmann, the 3 door has all the attributes for success in Europe, and for failure in the U.S.. Hatchbacks, especially large ones, have never been popular here. Small, turbo four cylinders were shunned for their torquier and less efficient V8 counterparts- as evidenced by the buyer's choices of cousin Mustang models. Based on these factors, unfavorable exchange rates, and marketing that seemed half-assed at best, the XR4Ti never really caught on here, and even the buff mags began to diss the car despite initial praise.

But look at those specs- 130 mph top end, trailing arm IRS, roomy five seat leather-swathed cabin, slick T9 gearbox, and a 175 bhp turbo four that's pretty bullet-proof. What's not to love? And it could be yours for $5,775. The seller isn't too forthcoming with the facts on the car, other than that it's a one-owner car with only 85K on the clock. That's only about 4,000 miles a year, and other than the typical wear on the driver's seat bolster, the car looks pretty tidy.

So, would you pay close to six large for an athletic German orphan? Or, does that price make you say XR4T-I don't think so?

You decide!

eBayerische or go here if the ad makes like schnell.

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Some of these cars lasted only a few years before reaching their demise while others lasted as long as a decade, selling only a few models each year. Despite their lack of sales these cars still have numerous admirers. Click next to run through the list of these successful failures.

Renault Alpine GTA
Model Run: 1984 - 1990
Selected By: Bangernomics
Reason: Lighter and quicker than a Porsche 944 with a modern design and significant use of fiberglass and polyester plastics, the Renault Alpine GTA was a true sports car. Unfortunately, the rear-engined coupe could never overcome its high price and lack of interest in the Alpine brand outside of France.

Photo Credit: AutoHistory.blog.hu

Infinit M45
Model Run: 2003 - 2005
Estimated Sales: Less Than 600 A Month
Selected By: Burgesslshan
Reason: The Infiniti M45 was meant to hold the line for the company before it rolled out a series of larger, more powerful vehicles. Based on the Japanese Nissan Gloria, the sedan was actually more appealing than the larger Q45 and featured the same large 4.5-liter V8. Most complained of the styling, so it was a slow seller. We think it looks great and has aged much better than the Q.

Alfa Romeo 164
Model Run: 1989 - 1995
Estimated Sales: Less Than 6,000 Cars A Year
Selected By: Van_Sarockin
Reason: The Alfa Romeo 164 still remains a remarkably attractive sedan, penned by Pininfarina following the Ferrari Testarossa. It's just so Italian and, despite its FWD layout, quick and fun to drive. As with many great cars on this list, the high price made it hard to swallow at a time when the Japanese and Americans were offering similar vehicles at much lower cost — though not quite so striking.

Buick Reatta
Model Run: 1988 - 1991
Estimated Sales: 21,751
Selected By: Zacarious
Reason: The Reatta, though two decades old, is still one of the most fetching non-Chinese Buick products since the Eisenhower administration. It was a technological marvel, featuring a touchscreen computer and an early example of keyless entry. It was also hand built and features a high level of fit-and-finish. The price was high, as well, but this wasn't what killed it. Buick's sudden shift to an older audience meant performance concerns were thrown out the window, which robbed a great platform of a promising future. Because of this, sales were low. Still, it's a great-though-imperfect vehicle.

Merkur Scorpio/XR4Ti
Model Run: 1985 - 1989
Selected By: Paul-Michael Van
Reason: People are constantly complaining about not getting Ford Europe products. Unfortunately, the Merkur Scorpio and the XR4Ti were as close as America got for a good long while. Though the Scorpio wasn't overwhelmingly powerful, the it performed well for its day and offered a large hatch, European style and other great features. The XR4Ti was a much better performer, but was still part of a funky German brand no one understood.

NSU ro80
Model Run: 1967 - 1977
Estimated Sales: 37,204 (over ten years)
Selected By: Zacarious
Reason: "Rotary engine, cab forward design, 4 wheel disc brakes, semi-automatic transmission, independent suspension all in a 1967 sedan ... they should have sold millions." If only rotary engines didn't scare everyone.

Volkswagen Phaeton
Model Run: 2004 - 2006
Estimated Sales: Less Than 3,000 In The U.S.
Selected By: Jagvar
Reason: We've spilled a lot of electronic ink on the greatness of the Phaeton. It's subtle, Teutonic aesthetic and incredible performance outweigh even the price to maintain. It does answer the question: Would someone pay Audi prices for a Bentley disguised as a Volkswagen? Not in this country.

Fourth Generation Pontiac GTO
Model Run: 2004 - 2006
Estimated Sales: 40,808
Selected By: danio3834
Reason: "This was the car that enthusiasts demanded GM build for years, and when they finally brought them over, few followed through with their promise to purchase. Blame it on a bland exterior or poor marketing, but for those who knew and later found out, the last GTO was a near perfect car. It was a car everyone said they wanted, but couldnt buy."

Volkswagen Corrado
Model Run: 1988 - 1996
Estimated Sales: 97,000 worldwide (lower in the U.S.)
Selected By: Us
Reason: The Volkswagen Corrado and its many iterations was one car we truly liked the general buying public didn't. Sure there's a big following, but people were not willing to fork over the cash for the platform. In various trims the Corrado could be had as an attractive hatch all the way up to the powerful-for-the-time 180 HP VR6 trim. It was quicker than a Porsche 944, handled better than your average FWD vehicle, and looked incredibly German. It was quirky, fun, had a hatch and was therefore mostly unloved enough to get canned. it did so poorly they'll probably never bring the Scirocco over here.

Tucker Sedan
Model Run: 1948
Estimated Sales: 37
Selected By: F1Morgan
Reason: The Tucker Sedan, with its exceptionally forward-thinking safety equipment and sporty design, was so good the not-so-Big Three sabotaged the company's efforts. Even if they hadn't, there was so much bad luck and bad press in the creation of the car that the car was Dead on Arrival. Had you purchased one of the few operational cars you'd now be sitting on a vehicle worth almost a $1 million.

I'm providing each car's best lap time (which should confirm once again that having a fast car isn't the most important thing for a LeMons team), as well as the number of BS Inspection penalty laps (if any), plus awards earned by the team. You racers in need of all my original, full-resolution shots of your car in action should email me and I'll get them to you. When you're done here, be sure to check out LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman's coverage over on Speed:Sport:Life.

Thanks to Nick Pon and Ashley Freed for many of these photos. Here they are in finishing order, the Top Lemons Of The 24 Hours Of LeMons South Spring 2009:

SF '07	Arse Freeze '07	SF '08
Detroit '08	New England '08	South '08
Texas '08	Arse Freeze '08	Texas '09

While there was only one European machine in the Gator-O-Rama top 10, the Opular Dependence Team Israel Opel GT grabbed the prestigious Organizer's Choice trophy for the Continent. Not only that, the Saabs avoided throwing even a single connecting rod this time out, which should be cause for rejoicing in the streets of Stockholm
.
Thanks to Myke Toman, Nick Pon, Zerin Dube and Speed:Sport:Life, Anna C of Bikini Racer, the Norwegian Slaabs, Saabs Gone Wild, Prison Break Racing, Team Beermer, LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman, Jackson Williams, and others for their fine photographs.

What we have in the gallery here is a thrown Celica rod, a melted Cadillac brake caliper, a broken CRX camshaft, a blown XR4Ti head gasket, and so on. But not all these cars stayed off the track permanently; the guys in the Zappa-themed Utility Muffin Racing Team broke their cam during practice on Friday afternoon, drove like madmen to the nearest junkyard, and spent all night doing a head swap. The Corporate Machine Cadillac (with Barry Goldwater theme and a Hillary doll on the grille) had their brakes overheat to such an extent that the metal melted. And the Jalopnik readers in the Team Turbo Schnitzel Merkur XR4Ti blew a head gasket early on Saturday- I'm shocked, shocked!- but they were able to get to the car-parts store (fortunately, many Fords, including Rangers, have that 2300 engine) and get their racer back in shape for today.

5) Plymouth Laser
There's a malt liquor called Laser. It's about as refreshing to a college thirst as a pint of warm vinegar, but it does the job. Pretty similar to the Plymouth Laser actually.

4) Merkur XR4Ti
Just because the Germans are doing it doesn't make it cool (or scatalogical). Naming cars with letters and numbers may seem like a good idea, but nobody is going to sing about how it was 'fun, fun, fun 'till her daddy takes the XR4Ti awaaaaay.'

3) Jeep Jeepster
If Jeep considers reusing the name "Jeepster," that means the lately questionably off-road brand is considering a car-like Jeep, and that's stupid. We actually think the original Jeepster is pretty cool; our only reason for nominating this one is because Jeeps should never have been so city-fied.

2) Ford Fairmont
As much as we love the Fairmont police cars of the past, and the name does conjure up images of fair mountains, it's one that needs to stay buried. This one makes the list if only to discourage Ford from it's ridiculous and annoying "F" naming penchant.

1) Pontiac Aztek
We know, GM, you're tempted to relive those halcyon days of 2001 when you besmirched an entire ancient civilization by unleashing the Pontiac Aztek upon the public. Quetzalcoatl will rain down destruction upon you should it ever make a return.

When a car ad leads off with the statement "This is another car that I have exhumed from my graveyard," you know you're in for a real treat. Better install some good air-conditioning in your garage, because it'll get mighty hot in there once you drag this '76 Lancia Scorpion inside! You Yurpeans might know this car as the Montecarlo, but don't let the similarity fool you- the US version had 81 horsepower instead of 120, because Yurp decided it would be better to allow asthmatic children to die horrible hydrocarbon-enhanced deaths than to strangle car engines with emission control hardware during the Malaise Era. Naturally, that means you'll need to do something about the 1756cc engine currently in this car, but it's probably a boat anchor by now, anyway, as the car "has been sitting out in the weeds and weather for many years" and probably wasn't running when placed in its weedy home. We suggest installing a supercharged Toyota 4A-GZE out of an MR2, which should be a no-sweat swap... right? You know it! The seller claims it's a parts car, but we know you'll be able to bring it back to life in a couple of weekends.

So the Toledo 24 Hours of LeMons race is coming up and you still don't have a car? How about a Merkur XR4Ti, such as the one the confusingly-named Team Flying Hyundai drove in the Altamont race? Come on now, you might whine, nobody really sells an XR4Ti that cheap! Au contraire, my skeptical Midwestern wannabe-racer friend! Just take a look at this '89 Merkur XR4Ti, which has a price tag of just 600 bucks and actually runs! Well, to be honest, the statement "Runs and drives, but needs work" generally means "it makes noise when you turn the key," but that's better than a car that doesn't do anything. It's priced $100 over the 24 Hours of LeMons limit, but we suspect the price is negotiable (besides, if I can sell $280 worth of parts from a $100 Volvo, you should be able to squeeze a measly C-note out of a Merkur). Many, many problems bedevil the electrical accessories, but all you'll need to do is tear out everything a race car won't need and then pray that you can still get the engine computer to work. Thanks to SundaySunday for the tip!

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Still, the XR4Ti had some cool stuff you didn't much see coming from Detroit at the time. A turbocharged SOHC engine, for example, and something we still don't see on the Mustang 20 years later: an independent rear suspension.


See, folks, this is an import! Ford Werke AG had nothing to do with those boring ol' Tempos you see clogging your local highways, really!


And the double spoilers! Isn't this rig the 80s-est thing you've ever seen? We all need to apply some Hair Product ASAP!


Also incredibly 80s is the vinyl bra protecting that quality German bodywork.

The XR4Ti roared out of Lincoln-Mercury-Merkur dealerships, ready to do battle with the best European sporty sedans! Unfortunately for FoMoCo, the number of roaring Merkurs on the battlefield was tiny and they were never heard from again. Bonus points for incredible 80s-ness on this ad's soundtrack! – Murilee Martin

Related:
Lutz Explains Why the XR4Ti Failed [internal]

Uttering the phrase half price anywhere near the word junkyard sends a couple of the Jalops driving with toolbox toward the self-service junkyard like so many moths to a streetlight on a summer night. One of the larger self-service yards in California had a statewide half price sale a while back and we were there in NoCal and SoCal. Bumbeck headed down out of the hills into hot and dusty Sun Valley while Martin ventured out onto the mean streets of Hayward from Alameda. Out of the thousands of cars being picked apart we've chosen ten that qualify to enter into the pantheon of Jalopnik half-price day junkyard specials. Our selections in blazing full color after the jump.

Ford Pinto

Ah, the Ford Pinto. After having successfully made it thorough the 12-step program for those that had to drive Pintos through their formative High School years, it always fills us with a combination of awe and revulsion whenever we see one of these compact hatches at the junkyard. This one had already given up its popular with the builder crowd rack-and-pinion front end, but had a fender already yanked and waiting for the lucky soul still driving a dented fender orange Pinto.

Chrysler Newport

Here's a '78 Chrysler Newport with a four-barrel 360. Someone's already yanked the carb, but everything else is still there. This engine choked out a miserable 170 horses in '78, but that's just because it suffers from 8.2:1 compression and other Malaise Era smoggitude; add the usual ingredients of aftermarket pistons, cam, and respiratory gear and you'd have an engine that would really wake up a Dart or Valiant. And, hey, '78 was the first year for the lockup-converter Torquflite.

MERKUR Xr4Ti

Despite having made it through the Subway Series, this mighty Merkur had fallen. The Merkur was sold here in the states as a 2.3L turbo and intercooled Ford Sierra with another name. At first we were bummed that someone had swiped all the pocket parts emblems and badges. Sadness turned to joy as we found one of the Merkur emblems minutes later on the rear trunk lid of a Fiero. The obvious choice in parts with the Merkur is to yank the 2.3 turbo mill, intercooler and trans for your Mercury Bobcat wagon. Don't forget to roll over to the van section and grab a smoked bubble window for additional style points. Cherry pickers rent at an additional fee. [Tell me about it. Never lose you keys if you live on the 6th floor.— ed]

Cadillac DeVille

Ignore the Ford intake and all the pine needles cluttering up the view. That grungy engine reposing in this beat-to-shit '70 Cadillac DeVille is none other than the 375-horse 472, a forged-crank monster that doesn't weigh much more than a small-block Chevy, fits easily in GM A-bodies, and has a fair selection of aftermarket performance goodies available. Sure, the 500 had 400 HP, but GM only put it in the FWD Eldorado and let's just make it perfectly clear that we'd sooner pull out several of our own teeth with a needlenose pliers than spend another endless day breaking tools and fingers extricating a 500 from an Eldo. Might as well take that BOP-pattern TH400 while you're at it.

Rambler Wagon

This find would be like winning the lottery for a Rambler fiend scouring the junkyard; we picture some old guy with a couple of Rambler project cars hitting the yard on Half Price Day, hoping to find an early AMC with a few compatible parts, when he spots this '59 wagon and blows out a couple heart valves- GHASP!- with the shock of recognition. It would also be a moneymaker for an eBay shark who can recognize the pieces that will fetch ten times the junkyard price. This Kenosha Kreampuff's been de-engined already, but the fenders are still there, as is the tailgate and most of the glass.

Plymouth Conquest

This flatside Mitsubishi Starion imported for Plymouth and rebadged as a Conquest hit the floor of the yard while we were milling about the Pontiac section. The unmistakable wedge shape of the Starion made its way into the corner of our eye while it was still on the forklift. While the engine looked pretty well cooked, the turbocharger had a rebuilt by sticker on the wastegate actuator. Hair dryer removal ensued. Rusted exhaust manifold mounting bolts served as a reminder to bring some JB-80, or similar, next time around. We already have a set of those wheels from the last half price day.

Toyota Corona

We have a soft spot for 60s Toyotas (in fact, Murilee's first car was a '69 Corona) so it made us a little sad to see this fairly intact one on the yard. Toyotas didn't start selling like crazy in the US until the '73 Arab oil embargo, so it's tough to find junkyard parts for the older ones. This '67 Corona is a rare junkyard find indeed; not only does it still have the engine, taillights, complete interior, and a jillion other rare-as-hen's-teeth bits and pieces, it's got the supah-cool Toyoglide transmission ready for harvest.

Mazda 323 Turbo

You don't see these every day on the street, much less sitting in the junkyard: an '88 Mazda 323 Turbo. Everything's still there for the discerning junkyard scavenger looking to build a totally shocking sleeper out of Grandma's 4-door 323, from ECU to intercooler and all the other stuff that makes for turbocharged fun. Unfortunately, this one doesn't have the AWD option, but torque steer puts hair on your chest! Extract the engine, all the turbo plumbing, and the transaxle... and don't forget the all-important ECU!

Chrysler Conquest TSI

Moving further into the eighties and Mitsubishi Starion rebading exercises was this wide-body 1987 Chrysler Conquest TSI. Despite its obvious signs of neglect and abuse at the hands of the previous owner, this Starion had a mere 54K on the clock. A chewed up turbo cold side wheel filled us with punk rock rage thinking some bozo took a low miles Conquest to this sad ending. The only solution was to drop the 5-speed manual transmission and bring it home in the Starlet as a backup for the Starion. While we were under the car we had a great conversation with a guy scoring the rockers for his Mazda B2600 Pickup. G54B cross-branding junkyard goodness. Mitsubishi also put the G54B in forklifts. [Perfect for our forklift project car. Maybe you guys can get on that this week. — ed]

Lincoln Town Car Limo

The salad days of prom goers, wedding bells, and excursions down into Hollywood are over for this once fine Lincoln Town Car. Under the long white hood of this stretch Lincoln was a 5-0, perfect for a swap into that Fairmont wagon otherwise rusting away in the backyard. We're not really sure what else this beast could have given up besides a multi-switch console and a few toothbrushes.

– Mike Bumbeck & – Murilee Martin

Junkyard Chronicle [Junkyardchronicle.com]

Related:
Jalopnik Late-Night: Junkyard of Davey's Dreams [Internal]

Back in late 1970, Clarence Milstead purchased a 1971 AMC Gremlin. As time went on, he began tinkering with the six-cylinder Kammback hatch until the fateful day he saw an XR4Ti in a junkyard, yanked its turbocharger and plumbed it in, using a carburetor bonnet scavenged from a Mitsubishi-built Chrylser Hemi 4-cylinder. What fully awesome cars used the Hemi 4? That's right kids, the Conquest and its Starions! As time's gone on Milstead's continued to widdle with the Gremmie, converting the front drums to discs and dropping the final-drive ratio to 3.55. We'd be proud to drive this car. We'd be even prouder to say we built it ourselves. – Davey G. Johnson

My 1971 Turbo Gremlin [Gremlin X]

Related:
Turbo Pinto! [Internal]

Back when Ford was preparing to launch Merkur, they decided it might raise a bit of brand awareness to campaign the XR4Ti in IMSA's GTU class. With a slight dip in displacement over the car's Pinto-based 2.3 mill, the cars, prepared and campaigned by Kent Racing. A bit later, FoMoCo shifted the XR4Ti's mission to Trans-Am and over-two-litre IMSA competition, with the Merks running under Roush's aegis. Peter Cipolla, a man from the Show-Me State we can throw our weight behind, has rescued a couple of these mighty orphan warriors from bygone days, and for that, we owe him a package of schnitzel and an ice-cold MGD. – Davey G. Johnson

XR4TiRacing.com

Related:
Lutz Explains Why The XR4Ti Failed [Internal]

While Lutz recently explained to Automotive News why the reborn Goat went so soon to slaughter, we might want to look back at another Bob Lutz project that combined great-for-its day power with a rear-drive IRS package: The Merkur XR4Ti. Pulled from a 1998 interview, Lutz explains what killed Ford's 3-Series rival in the American market after the jump.

"I'll tell you where the mistake was made, in my judgment. We all wanted it as a Ford of Europe export program, as opposed to an NAO import program, and many of us wanted the car to be put through the import networks and just almost totally disassociated from Ford. We wanted a separate [advertising] agency that would take a completely different approach and address itself to import owners who at that time were a completely different breed. The last thing in the world we wanted was an agency like [Young & Rubicam] coming up with headlines like "Bavarian Scream," which, when the car wasn't even from Bavaria, you know, I mean, it was so absurd."

Robert Lutz on the Merkur XR4Ti, November 13, 1998

Related:
What Happened With the GTO? Lutz Speaks [Internal]

What was the coolest of the Fox-body Mustangs? Without a doubt, it's the SVO. Obviously threatened by the birth of the Mitsubishi Starion, Ford decided to take the fabulous Mitsubishi on using its own formula: slightly-over-two-litre turbocharged I4, sport tuned suspension Space Shuttle-look exterior components, etc. Its 2.3 turbo mill also found its way into the Merkur XR4ti — the main difference between that car and its European Sierra twin. Truth be told, though, we'd still rather have the Merkur or the Mitsu. – Davey G. Johnson

MustangSVO.org

Related:
The Ford P100: Sierrachero! [Internal]

Alex Taylor makes a case against Ford bringing over European models that's based largely on suckiness. He cites the Merkur catastrophe as the rationale behind Americans not wanting European Fords. The reason Americans didn't want European Fords is that they knew not what the hell a Merkur was. I, as a child who watched a rather average amount of television in the 1980s, only knew about Merkur when we stopped by a Lincoln/Mercury dealership to get a part for our Colony Park and I saw a Sierra XR4i sitting on the lot and wondered what the hell that was about.

People who didn't take semi-regular European vacations wouldn't have a clue. That's not selling a car unright for the market, that's simply bad advertising and market positioning. Taylor also cites the Opelization of Saturn. Who cares? Nobody gives a toss about the legacy of Saturn beyond the dealer experience, anyway. And most people who buy Saturns have absolutely no clue what an Opel is in the first place. GM needs money. Opels finally don't really suck. Saturns still kind of do. Tourniquet! The US automakers, except for the .5 of Chrysler, are finally beginning to get serious about the potential for their Euro product lines in America and we applaud it. Now give us a revived Opel/Saturn Manta, dammit. And a Mondeo XR4i. – Davey G. Johnson

Detroit's orphan cars [CNN/Fortune]

Related:
More on Ford Europe's US Transplants: S-Max Could Be Coming [Internal]