I have a friend who wrote on note on one of these cars saying in effect that if you have to take up a whole corner or multiple spaces, then obviously you are too poor to really have a nice car--because if you could afford it, you'd park it normally and have the needed repairs from dings and nicks done. But your sideways parking indicates you are barely able to afford the thing.
It was a warning; the next time he saw it parked in THREE spaces, almost sideways, he emptied his coffee cup on the hood.
Because really, he could have done much worse. And it worked.
Would have been cool if Deke had greeted his Russian counterpart with the angry-end of the GAU-8, you know, as a joke, and an important reminder of who was the boss.
Sometimes when I see someone taking up two spaces at the end of the lot, especially if I am driving a beater truck, I just make a point to park with my passenger door about 1/2 inch from thier driver's side door.
@Mad_Science: I remember at my first college apartment, which was a dump of a house converted to 4 apartments, parking was VERY tight, NO extra spaces. The cheerleaders that lived upstairs had A-hole boyfriends that would always block people in. It seemed to stop after my roommate and I left a sternly worded note written on an empty box of 12ga slugs.
Deke Slayton. Goddamnit, why wasn't I named Deke?!
How fitting that Deke Slayton was a fighter pilot.
There are only 3 careers for a guy named Deke: fighter pilot, stunt man or bull rider. No Deke has ever been fucked with at a bar. No Deke has ever been outscored by his buddies. No Deke has ever died of old age. Any Deke is a raconteur, a swashbuckler, a cocksman. He holds his liquor better than you, takes a punch better than you, and he's already forgotten more tales of derring-do than you'll ever actually have.
@Charles_Barrett - Now with Variable-Valve Timing: I disagree with porn star as occupation for a Deke. Slayton works fine, but it would have to be a Randy Slayton or Tommy Slayton or Steve Slayton.
Just use the Roo Bar on your car to nudge the forgetful drivers car properly into place. It may take a couple of dozen nudges, getting up to about 20 mph, to properly motivate the errant car. Poor fellow, the transmission probably slipped after he had parked properly, leading to this dangerous condition...
I wouldn't use the cannon. It will leave a large number of ragged fragments all over the place. Other cars might get scratched by the ricochets, the debris might make it awkward to drive into the space and park on a level surface, and you might puncture a tire.
This is yet another situation where the handy dandy laser destructo ray really comes in handy.
I can't stand when people double park, and they do it all the time where I work. When I can, I park as close to their door as possible, just so they have to get in on the other side.
@leavethegun-takethecannoli: I keep a big dry erase marker in my car. I saw someone double park at the movie theatre once and proceeded to write JACKASS on his windshield, mirrored so he'd see it when he got in. That shoulda been fun to find!
@leavethegun-takethecannoli: Works if you don't give a shit about your own car. My former '90 745 was perfect for such actions ... it's one thing to have curb rash on the wheels. This one came with fender rash.
It's always fun to see a grown man in a suit trying to climb over the center console of their shiny new Lexus. Hey, that's what you get for being a fucking asshole when parking.
My other favorite is to push all the empty carts into the unusable space. Sometimes, the cart guys follow along, even and leave 'em there, even.
@narf: Ha ha! Yeah, my old Volvo's like that too. You park reaaaally close if it looks like a car that someone without severe anger issues would drive.
The Volvo would also work for causing "asshole damage" - if they're over the line and you have room, and they're still there when you leave... and there are no witnesses... I'm not supporting it, at least on the record.
@leavethegun-takethecannoli: My school's been terrible for that whenever there's snow - not people deliberately taking up too much space, just being too stupid or apathetic to park reasonably (i.e. ~ two feet from the nearest car). I've gone out of my way to find the smallest space I can fit into, because hey, my car is $700.
@Jorsh: I for one am very happy with this sudden turn of events. I'm a programmer by trade, and I use this to pay for my car habbits. The melding of a comic which is often uber-tech-nerdy with a site which is awesomely automotimanic is like a validation of my very existance.
@smalleyxb122: Most do it on purpose. They appear to believe that they're entitled to two spots just because they drive a new-ish car. I remember a first sergeant of mine at Fort Drum got himself a ticket pad from the MPs and just went to town once because so many people were slant-parking across as many as three spots that there wasn't anywhere left to park. Assholes.
@HurtsSoGood: Or because they bought a giant pickup truck and are too fucking lazy to walk from the back of the lot. This group are the real problem, as they're harder to tow.
04/11/09
I HOPE YOU DON"T FUCK LIKE YOU PARK
They would have been even better if printed in reverse, then I could have placed them in front of the driver's seat.
04/10/09
It was a warning; the next time he saw it parked in THREE spaces, almost sideways, he emptied his coffee cup on the hood.
Because really, he could have done much worse. And it worked.
04/10/09
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The Lincoln symbol was the best, but my Cutlass' rocket and Benz emblems were still good fuel for fantasy.
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I can't think of a more intimidating weapon than an A10 looping back towards you. "Oh, did you think I didn't see you?"
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[www.youparklikeanasshole.com]
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04/10/09
How fitting that Deke Slayton was a fighter pilot.
There are only 3 careers for a guy named Deke: fighter pilot, stunt man or bull rider. No Deke has ever been fucked with at a bar. No Deke has ever been outscored by his buddies. No Deke has ever died of old age. Any Deke is a raconteur, a swashbuckler, a cocksman. He holds his liquor better than you, takes a punch better than you, and he's already forgotten more tales of derring-do than you'll ever actually have.
Is it too late to rename my 7 year old son Deke?
04/10/09
Don't forget that Deke is a GREAT porn name... and Slayton would've worked well as a surname in that context as well...
04/10/09
04/10/09
Sausage Slayton
Throbber Slayton
Dirk Slayton
Horsemeat Slayton
04/10/09
I was thinking along the lines of a Cheech & Chong accent....
"He's a real Deke, mahn..."
04/10/09
04/10/09
I wouldn't use the cannon. It will leave a large number of ragged fragments all over the place. Other cars might get scratched by the ricochets, the debris might make it awkward to drive into the space and park on a level surface, and you might puncture a tire.
This is yet another situation where the handy dandy laser destructo ray really comes in handy.
04/10/09
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04/10/09
I think Geely or Brilliance cars have the same marketing poster.
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"
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[jalopnik.com]
04/10/09
So, who's the hunky guy with the gold chain and medallion? Friend? Family member? Firebird driver?
04/10/09
I think John Glenn might take issue with this statement.
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It's always fun to see a grown man in a suit trying to climb over the center console of their shiny new Lexus. Hey, that's what you get for being a fucking asshole when parking.
My other favorite is to push all the empty carts into the unusable space. Sometimes, the cart guys follow along, even and leave 'em there, even.
04/10/09
The Volvo would also work for causing "asshole damage" - if they're over the line and you have room, and they're still there when you leave... and there are no witnesses... I'm not supporting it, at least on the record.
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There are plenty of people who hate XKCD mostly on the merit of it's not funny.
He used to be pretty funny some of the time, but it's gotten worse. More often elicits unghs than hehs.
04/10/09
04/10/09
I guess some people get angry when they're confused by things that go over their heads.
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