Suitability Parameters:
Speed Merchants: No
Fashion Victims: Yes
Treehuggers: Yes
Mack Daddies: No
Tuner Crowd: No
Hairdressers: Yes
Penny Pinchers: No
Euro Snobs: No
Working Stiffs: No
Technogeeks: No
Poseurs: Yes
Soccer Moms: Yes
Nascar Dads: No
Golfing Grandparents: Yes

Also Consider:
• Toyota Highlander Hybrid
• Toyota Prius
• Lexus RX400h
• Chevy Tahoe Hybrid
• Saturn VUE Green Line
• Visiting New Orleans to help rebuild houses for lower-middle-class white people

Vitals:
• Manufacturer: Mercury
• Model tested: Mariner Hybrid
• Model year: 2008
• Base Price: $25,765
• Price as Tested: $31,000
• Engine type: 2.3-Liter I4 Electric Hybrid
• Horsepower: 133 (gas) + 94 (electric)
• Torque: 152lb/ft @ 4,250 RPM
• Transmission: Electronic CVT
• Curb Weight: 3,638 lbs
• LxWxH: 174.7" x 71.1" x 68.0"
• Wheelbase: 103.1"
• Tires: P235/70R16
• Drive type: FWD
• 0 - 60 mph: 10.7 Seconds
• 1/4-mile: 17.8 seconds
• EPA Fuel economy city/highway: 34/30
* Jalopnik Average: 26.1
• NHTSA crash test rating: N/A

Also see:

• 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part One
• 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part Two

Acceleration:**
You would think that with two propulsion sources this thing would get going a little faster. You'd be wrong. Though acceleration is on par with the V6 model, it's a complete crapshoot on anything but a clean start, thanks to the E-CVT transmission that never manages to predict what you want.

Braking:*
The line about regenerative braking is always "stopping helps you go." More like "stopping helps you go insane." Ignoring the serious effort it takes to slow the thing down, once you do start to stop there's an annoying dull click as you let off the brakes. This isn't to say they're so bad that you'll run over anyone, but the feel is all wrong.

Ride:***
The ride is remarkably smooth for what's supposed to be an SUV. Aware that no one with sense will be taking it off road, the Mariner's suspension is tuned to absorb every pothole and hobo with nary a bump.

Handling:**
Like a girl who offers you sex out of pity, it'll do what you want it to do but in the least enjoyable and most perfunctory way possible. But unlike pity sex, you're not going to brag about driving the Mariner to your friends afterwards.

Gearbox:*
As mentioned above, the continuously variable transmission is less a gearbox and more a complicated way to suck just that much more fun out of driving.

Audio:***
Like the 2008 Ford F-350 SuperDuty, the Mariner features the six-speakers-and-a-subwoofer Audiophile system. Unlike the F-350, the Mariner is so quiet that it is possible to hear your music. Using the standard audio input jack I was able to listen to my iPod through the system as I cruised for Etruscan pottery. The only thing this system is missing is thumb controls for the audio, something a car in this price range needs badly.

Toys:****
In addition to backup sensors, touch screen navigation system and one-touch moonroof, this is a hybrid. Though it doesn't get earth-shattering gas mileage, the hyrbid system is basically one big toy and with the navigation screen you get to watch as power is routed between the engine, motor and wheels. There's also a full 110v electrical output for keeping your iPod charged.

Value:*
When all is said and done, I can't imagine putting down nearly $10,000 over the base price of $21,300 for what is still a Ford Escape. By the time you get around to making up the difference in cost you'll have already sold it or set it on fire for the insurance money.

Overall: **
The Mariner Hybrid is nothing to write home about. You could drive hundreds of miles without realizing that you've been driving at all because little about the car is so offensive or so outstanding as to deserve any notice. There's probably a market for that, but we're not in it.

Also see:

• 2008 Mercury Mariner Hybrid, Part One

I've got to think about something while driving because the Mariner practically drives itself, leaving me free to remark aloud to my passengers about the possibility of converting a large closet to a "coffee and tea nook." Those words actually came out of my mouth: "coffee and tea nook." I'd like to contend that I'm a victim of geography, living in the über gentrified Lakeview neighborhood of Chicago, putting me within a five-minute walk of a specialty cheese shop, an all-independent theatre and a place that sells only cupcakes.

But no one put a gun to my head and said "you're gonna live in a post-war mid-rise apartment building across the street from a kitschy Korean fried chicken place or else." People in my neighborhood don't carry guns. They carry lattes and keys to their Mercury Mariner Hybrids. Seriously. There are at least half-a-dozen of these around, in addition to the hybridized Escapes, Highlanders and Prii.

And I can see why. If you don't like driving but need a vehicle and you're a graduate of the Rhode Island School of Design, the Mariner isn't a bad choice. Especially if you care about the environment enough to spend a lot of money to get gas mileage that isn't much better than the stock four-cylinder version. People go a bit far in mocking the smugness of hybrid drivers, but it is hard to argue that this car is doing more for the environment than the people taking a bus or a train to work.

The Mariner is also quite adept at filling all basic yuppie needs. Assuming you live in an urban area (thus the 'u'), the Mariner's backup sensor and small wheelbase combine to make an SUV that is exceedingly easy to parallel park. This was helpful when I had to pull up to the Paint Your Own Pottery place off Lincoln Ave to pick up the mug I had painted a couple of weeks before.

Smooth enough to keep my painted pottery and white truffle oil tofu pizza intact.

There's also the advantage of having an SUV that neither looks nor performs like an SUV. The chrome-toothed grille and mascara'd headlamps femme out any traces of masculinity found on the Escape, but the easy-open hatch and reasonably sized cargo area swallowed a load of organic groceries with ease. The suspension is tuned to absorb the abundant bumps and potholes of the urban environment perfectly, as well as tuning out all of the driving experience.

Unlike the beefier SUV offerings from other automakers, the Mariner Hybrid is a full hybrid with a system similar to the Toyota Prius. This means that it can run under the power of its 94 horsepower electric motor, 133 horsepower 2.3-liter four banger, or a combination of both. In slow city driving this isn't so bad as it is quiet enough to listen to The Buena Vista Social Club on your iPod without the threat of engine noise. Anywhere else the engine and motor switching on-and-off is unnecessarily noisy.

Power is also created through regenerative braking, whereby all the energy needed to get the brake pedal to work is transferred magically to the battery. If you like the feel of brakes that clamp down confidently, look elsewhere. In fact, if you like driving at all, look elsewhere. The stone-colored leather interior with the dual climate control is a reasonably comfortable place to hang out while passing the time between your studio apartment and a screening of a newly cut version of Fritz Lang's Metropolis at the Museum of Contemporary Art. But it's not a good place for someone who enjoys the time between point A and B as much as point A or B.

And that's me. I may have traded some of the punk rock edge I'd once felt was important for a pair of comfortable loafers and a swish looking jacket from Banana Republic, but I haven't lost my passion for driving. That feeling you get when you sit behind the wheel of a new vehicle and set out on the open road. A feeling that is wholly absent in the urban accessory that is the Mariner Hybrid.

FORD delivers BETTER FUEL ECONOMY, more power

WASHINGTON, D.C., Jan. 22, 2008 - Today at the Washington Auto Show and Automotive News World Congress in Detroit, Ford Motor Company announced its hot-selling compact SUVs, the Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner, will become more fuel efficient, more powerful and more connected for the 2009 model year.

Fuel-efficient new 2.5-liter Engine

The new 2009 Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner make strides in fuel economy and emissions with a new, 2.5-liter engine and a smooth new fuel-saving 6-speed automatic transmission.

Not only is the new powertrain expected to improve the Escape and Mariner's EPA estimated fuel economy by 1 mile per gallon, it will also give the customer an 11 percent increase in horsepower to 170 horsepower.

The new 2.5-liter engine with intake variable cam timing (IVCT) boasts a 17-horsepower increase in output over the outgoing 2.3-liter engine.

Responsive with its peak 166 ft. lb. of torque, the engine also is refined, with dual-mode crankshaft damping, electronic throttle control and PowerPC engine electronic control.

The anticipated 1 mpg improvement in fuel economy will make Escape and Mariner more than competitive in the segment. With the improvements, Escape and Mariner also achieve ULEV II emissions certification.

The new engine also is the new basis for Ford's hybrid models, ushering in a host of improvements that will make the Ford Escape Hybrid and Mercury Mariner Hybrid even more appealing. Adapted to the Atkinson cycle, the engine is the first for Ford to incorporate variable valve timing on a hybrid engine.

"More than ever, the Escape Hybrid and Mariner Hybrid are the ultimate vehicles for commuters in the daily battle with urban traffic congestion," said Cischke. "For every eight Escape and Mariner vehicles we sell, one of them is a hybrid, and the appeal is growing."

An optional, 230-hp, 3.0-liter V-6 engine - a 30-hp increase over last year - also is offered. It, too, will offer an estimated 1 mpg fuel economy improvement and better acceleration, thanks to the new 6-speed transmission and engine enhancements, including new pistons, cylinder heads and fuel injection system.

Spotlight on Fuel Efficiency, Even in the Performance Version

The new, more fuel-efficient automatic 6-speed transmission featured in the Escape and Mariner offers a significant improvement in powertrain smoothness and drivability, replacing the four-speed automatic previously offered.

Its flexibility allows Escape and Mariner to feature a longer final-drive ratio for optimal fuel economy, while its smooth-shifting quality provides an enhanced experience for the driver, especially in combination with the more powerful engines in the Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner family.

Fuel savings also come from additional design and engineering features, including:

* Aerodynamic improvements, including a new front fascia chin spoiler and rear tire spoilers also play a role in the fuel economy story.
* A new 16-inch Michelin tire design offers improved rolling resistance that contributes to fuel efficiency, while also bringing improvements in quiet operation, steering and handling, and stopping distance.

All Escape and Mariner models now feature Easy Fuel™, a capless refueling system. This feature is not only a convenience for customers but also helps to prevent evaporative fuel emissions.

Escape and Mariner also incorporate new features to improve dynamic handling and ride characteristics, including a new 18.5 mm rear stabilizer bar and revised suspension tuning. Powertrain sound quality is enhanced by a new air induction system for V-6 engine models and a new exhaust system on all models.

Ford Hybrids: More Refinement, Safety and Performance

The new 2.5-liter engine also is the new foundation for the Escape Hybrid and Mariner Hybrid models. Adapted for hybrid use, the engine is Ford's first to use variable valve timing on an Atkinson cycle hybrid engine. Advancements in engine processor technology enable a nearly imperceptible transition from gas to electric mode.

A new brake system also provides a more seamless transition from regenerative braking to traditional braking. It incorporates a new pedal sensor that gives the driver better feedback and pedal feel similar to that of a traditional vacuum-assisted hydraulic system.

Also new this year is a new standard safety feature - AdvanceTrac® with RSC®. Already standard on gas-powered models, this patented Ford Motor Company stability control system includes roll stability control. Escape Hybrid and Mariner Hybrid are the only small hybrids to offer such an advanced safety technology.

At the Washington Auto Show, Ford will display a Ford Escape Plug-in Hybrid (PHEV) alongside the production Escape Hybrid. The plug-in research vehicle uses high voltage, lithium-ion batteries and can travel up to 30 miles on battery power alone before switching to full hybrid mode, delivering the equivalent of up to 120 miles per gallon for far fewer trips to the gas station.

Ford is collaborating with Southern California Edison in a unique partnership to advance the commercialization of PHEVs, demonstrating the potential for two industries to change the transportation and energy future.

This is part of Ford's sustainability strategy, which also includes a new engine technology called EcoBoost that will deliver up to 20 percent better fuel economy and 15 percent fewer CO2 emissions on half a million Ford, Lincoln and Mercury vehicles annually in North America starting within the next five years.

The EcoBoost family of 4-cylinder and 6-cylinder engines features turbocharging and direct injection technology and will be used in a range of global vehicles - from small cars to large trucks. Compared with more expensive hybrids and diesel engines, EcoBoost builds upon today's affordable gasoline engine and improves it, providing more customers with a way to improve fuel economy and emissions without compromising driving performance.

More Technology, Connectivity

The popularity of the Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner reflects a trend of continuous improvement and product enhancement, including the most "connected" driving experience available today.

New optional equipment includes:

* SYNC, the award-winning Ford in-car connectivity system developed with Microsoft, will be offered in Escape and Mariner. New for the 2009 model-year, SYNC features "911 Assist" which will help drivers connect with emergency assistance in the event of air bag deployment. Also available for 2009, SYNC will offer Vehicle Health Reports, which are designed to keep owners up to speed with vehicle maintenance needs through the syncmyride.com web site.

* SIRIUS® Travel Link™ , which offers real-time traffic, weather, fuel price, sports schedules and movie information when combined with Ford's next-generation navigation system with voice recognition.

Growing Popularity

With the continuous improvements to the 2009 Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner, the vehicles are primed to build on their sales success in the 2007 calendar year, which included record hybrid volume. Highlights include:

* Ford Escape Hybrid recorded a 10.4 percent increase in sales versus 2006, with 21,386 units sold, while Mercury Mariner Hybrid sales were up 17 percent over 2006 to 3,722 units.

* Total Ford Escape sales were up 5.2 percent to 165,596. Mercury Mariner was up 2.6 percent to 34,844 units.

The Ford Escape and Mercury Mariner are produced at Ford's Kansas City Assembly Plant, and the 2009 models will go on sale this summer.