Jalopnik 
Enter your username and password.
Detroit, 12:19 PM
Thu Dec 10
28 posts in the last 24 hours
Tip your editors:
Editor-in-Chief:
Ray Wert | | AIM
Road Test Editor:
Wes Siler |
Weekend Editor:
Murilee Martin |
Associate Editor - Houston:
Associate Editor - Detroit:
Editor-at-Large:
Contributors:
John Krewson |
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.
08/06/09
1. These cars shown above don't have bumpers. They have a section of the nose and tail which are safety zones for pedestrians. They're filled with nerf material and covered in flexy/brittle plastic so soccer moms can continue taking prozacs, ignoring their kids, and letting them run around in and out of the roadways like little crack-head godzillas.
2. They could make solid steel/rubber bumpers that protruded through or sat flush with the match-painted flexy bodywork ... it would protect the expensive paint job and body, and headlights, but it would violate that whole "safe to hit pedestrians" thing - see point #1.
3. Someone earlier mentioned that only trucks and SUVs have real bumpers. Wrong. Most of the new (since 2000) trucks have a "bumper" (in quotes) which actually consists of a double-layer of aluminum foil which is chromed and sold for well in excess of $600. The get dinged and dented and warped so easily that it really is meaningless to have them (one particularly good example is the 1999 onward Ford Super-duty hunk-o-foil). The newest trucks have chromed tinfoil... and most SUVs (since the word was invented by marketingtards in the early 90's) also don't have bumpers at all (see point #1).
4. Older convertible sports cars (Porsches, Triumphs, MGs, Alfas, etc...) all had chromed steel or steel and rubber bumpers which the owners/customizers were quick to trim, shave, paint or frequently remove... the end result was that a bump would cause a ding or a scrape or a crunch and a large amount of bodywork, but that was the price to pay for a better looking car. A perfect example is the AC Ace versus the Shelby Cobra. One had bumperettes, one didn't.
08/06/09
08/06/09
And bravo.
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
And the Maxima, which I'd say has the heaviest damage by far somehow manages to be so cheap? I find it hard to believe that the parts alone are going to be that cheap. Headlights alone run $600+ easily.
But assuming these figures are legitimate either Americans are trying to make up for losses by charging more for parts or there's structural damage not visible in these photos.
08/06/09
I got rear ended in my Audi TT a few years back. It appeared to be "but a scratch", but when they took the bumper cover off the underlying structure was also damaged.
And sorry all you retro bumper people...the TT is one car that would look hideous with oldschool bumpers, IMHO.
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
And I'd definitely prefer it in a sub-20-mph collision.
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
A while back, my dad got rear ended in his Volvo 940. Damage to the Civic that hit him included the bumper, grill, lights, fenders, and hood. Damage to the 940 ... replace the cover. $490, paid by the other guy, with just over half of that going to paint and labor.
That said, it's all a matter of where it hit too. I was rear offset hit by an Accord a few years back in my 745, and that was over $2800 in damage (aluminum tailgate + rear quarter panel damage). I was OK with used parts, and the body shop worked with their insurance company, so the bill was just over $2300 instead. That said, I loved his excuse for hitting me. "I thought you were going to run the red light."
08/06/09
How is the Accord "marginal"? I had to induce a cornea-bursting squint for like 30 seconds, which is the longest amount of time I've ever looked at a new Accord on purpose, just to find the little discolored strip. I reckon that fix involves five bucks and a trip to Auto Zone for some Dupli-Color.
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
I work in a parts dept and the price of bumper cover for a Crown Vic went from around $400 to about $800 in the past four years! A design that hasn't changed for the longest time gets doubled for no apparent reason. I could see it if they quit breaking and were made of some amazing material but they haven't changed it at all, I know, I've compared the old to the new.
I understand that every one is out there to make money, but some of it is just stupid.
08/06/09
And whose brilliant idea was it to paint the damn things? Now you can't even breathe on them without scratching them. The old kind with chrome or rubber might have been uglier, but at least they worked.
08/06/09
You're right. They shouldn't even call them bumpers. They should just call them Crumple Zones and remove any pretense.
08/06/09
08/06/09
The battering rams of the 1960s, 70s, and early 80s might have been a little ugly, but they worked! Appliance cars such as these especially need real bumpers. The only cars that should be built without bumpers are sports cars. This was the case for the most part until the late 1980s. I actually liked the diving boards on my 1987 E30, great for driving in traffic.
08/06/09
With the metal bumper on the '85 RWD Fleetwood I used to drive, in a bona-fide tap, the idiot Oregonion stopped on a green light, making a right-hand turn, to let someone turning left from the opposite direction go first, I managed to do $600 in damage to her Civic's painted bumper.
The dime-sized spot of paint left on mine came off with a fingernail.
08/06/09
08/06/09
Clearly front and rear designs - particularly those of high-volume mainstream sedans and wagons - are determined by occupant and pedestrian safety first, followed by the amount of money automakers need to throw at collision repair industry so they have a reliable stream of business. That latter bit keeps noses and butts nice and pretty...and ridiculously expensive to fix if busted up even at the lowest of speeds.
The best advice I can give is drive defensively, brake early, and avoid close proximity with other vehicles whenever possible. Not easy in cities, but not impossible either.
08/06/09
08/06/09
08/06/09
[OMBUDSMAN'S NOTE: I fixed it for ya.]
08/07/09