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Detroit, 4:17 AM
Thu Dec 10
26 posts in the last 24 hours
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12/03/09
small car: compensating for teh loose vadge.
12/02/09
Paragraph 3 - history. It's new, but not so new - Yurp's had it a couple of years. Evidently it didn't suck. Good work, there. Won big awards in motoring hotbeds like Greece, Chile and Bulgaria. Also did big in Japan, where it is marketed as a large car.
Paragraph 4 - Mazda made it fekkin' small. Really fekkin' small. But they made it cute, adorable even. And things that are adorable are more adorable when they're small. Like kittens. And you know what else? Kittens piddle in your shoes.
Paragraph 5 - Mazda wants you to think your itty tiny kitten like happy car is fun, zippy, dynamic, et cetera. How'd they make it be all those things? They made it fekkin' small. And they made it cute. Dunno how the hell making it cute makes it dynamic, but there it is. Also, they're not calling the design language "Nagare" anymore, either. What the hell is Nagare? It sounds like that seaweed that goes around my California rolls.
Paragraph 6 - It supposedly does things other cars in the segment don't do, like turn in the direction you turn the steering wheel, stop when you push one pedal and go when you push the other. Fuel stinginess is somehow part of the dynamic driving experience. Skipping fuel stops does increase your average speed, so maybe that sorta counts.
Paragraph 7 - the heading talks about powertrain, but the paragraph talks about how it speeds up when you step on the big pedal, and slows down when you let off. And it does that really, really well - almost as if the pedal were connected directly to the engine. Except it isn't.
8 - suspension. Struts, torsion beam. Minivan. Next!
9 - It's chock-full of Dynamat! And it's really fekkin' small, and we tried to make it pointy at both ends.
10 - They tried to make it lighter but figured out that they couldn't. It's really fekkin' small, but in a wreck it won't get a lot smaller. You hope.
11 - Be real - this ain't your fun car. This is your dragging your sorry ass back to the cube farm car.
12 - Noise.
Long on Marketese, short on facts and figures.
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/03/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
I don't want to be able to use the rear window on a hatchback as the head rest.
12/02/09
12/02/09
They should have called it the Mazda Supernova Girl.
12/02/09
12/02/09
But again it's like saying one twin sister is better than the other. Maybe I like the mole next to her lips better.
p.s: Why doesn't the damn code allow for the symbol "greater?"
12/02/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
10/22/09
There is nothing friendly about this concept car. Looks like Falco's head--from Star Fox #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
10/22/09
[*I am old enough to remember when the term "hummer" meant oral sex.] #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
10/22/09
"He went for a drive with his girlfriend and wound up in a Teddy." Hmmm... boy, does THAT have multiple meanings. #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
Screw that. #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
And speaking of car mice, why isn't there a line of mice shaped like fine automobiles? Especially for all the Ferrari and Lambo fans. That should sell like really well. Am I right? Am I right? #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
Agent Smith: Tell me, Mr. Kiyora: What good is a phone call if you're unable...to..speak?
(Kiyora's mouth closes up)
Kiyora: MMMM! MM-MMMM! MMMMMMM!
10/22/09
I like, it, I really do. The only problem is that every time I see a Mazda with the 'Nagare design' all I see is this: #mazdakiyora
10/22/09
What were we talking about? Oh yeah, all the weird-looking new Mazdas. They make me hungry for sushi, for some reason. #mazdakiyora