We actually called "1-800-ARMY-OF1," which is the slogan which preceded the current Army mantra of "Army Strong," so we assumed it would be some kind of automated "Join the Army" system. Instead, we were greeted with a woman speaking on a recorded message saying "Call 1-800-874-TALK to get together with interesting local people, that's 1-800-874-T-A-L-K."

Now that we're this far down the rabbit hole, might as well go forward. In a much more sultry voice this time, we're greeted with "Hey there sexy guy, welcome to an exciting new way to go live, one on one with hot horny girls waiting right now to talk to you..." You get the picture. This service is operated by "Intimate Encounters" and eventually asks us to "stick it in," it being our Visa or Mastercard number which will be billed between $0.99 and $1.99 a minute, depending on carrier and just how "nasty" we want our conversation to be.

This is by far the strangest and most unconventional phone sex hot-line advertising we've ever encountered... not that we're familiar with phone sex lines or anything. Hey... that dog has a puffy tail! (Thanks for the tip Rudolphdude)

Despite the company's overwhelming presence in the film, including a Chevy Beat or Chevy Spark or whatever, Camaro and a Corvette Stingray Concept, the company has decided not to buy a large amount, if any, commercial time with advertisements connecting their products to the movie. Especially as the movie is essentially one long GM commercial. There are two main factors at work here:

1.) GM's slashing its marketing budget by $800 million in 2009. There simply isn't the same pool of marketing dollars the company had back in 2007, when the original Transformers launched.

2.) GM is predictably gun-shy after plane-gate and the Citibank/Mets deal left many wondering if the new Mets Stadium should be called "Taxpayer Field" while the company takes a bailout.

This move reduces the impact Chevy might get out of the launch of the 2010 Chevy Camaro and may increase the burden on Paramount to fork over dollars to support their expensive blockbuster. Maybe Optimus Prime or a strategic use of web advertisement can save them. It'd certainly save us. Optimus Prime that is. We love a long-nosed semi, what can we say.

[via Ad Age]

The folks over at Mentalfloss have assembled quite the list, including The Zippo Car and the unfortunately named Peepmobile, which distributes marshmallow candies and not free looks for leering peeps. We're glad the Voxmobile made the list. But where's the Truly Nolen VW Limo? [Mental Floss]

Photo Credit: Flickr: Uberculture

Bank customers opting for the cars do so in lieu of interest. So you’re locking up to $235,000 away for three years with no growth. We’re also presuming the cars are leased, and need to be returned at the end of the two- or three-year period. So we’re not actually sure if this is a good deal.

Let’s assume you can earn 3.5% interest a year on your money. On $235,000, that’s $685 a month. A C4 diesel can be leased from $300-400 a month, we’ll assume another $200 for insurance, which still brings us in a little under that $685. Of course, the bank is probably getting some kind of bulk discount and doing the financing itself, so won’t be paying interest on its own vehicle loan. In other words, Banesto is making a healthy profit by offering cars instead of interest. Don’t have $235,000 to invest? Piaggio scooters are available to customers stashing away fewer Euros. [via Money.co.uk]

"While no one is drawing comparisons between the integration of Ford Expeditions in The Dark Knight and the Reese’s Pieces in E.T., the idea behind the marketing strategy remains the same.”

We're so confused. Anyway, the list of vehicles Ford was able to place in movies and the way they were used reads like a list of mundane, everyday events: Dana Scully commutes in a Taurus, other government agents drive Expeditions; the incompetent henchmen at the beginning of The Dark Knight keep their dogs in Expeditions. Ford: the vehicle of choice for minor characters in need of everyday transportation.

Ford goes on to justify the reasons why its more exciting products weren’t appropriate for cameo appearances. For instance, the Ford Edge was deemed “too refined” for The Dark Knight. The company even goes so far as to explain the appearance of Expeditions in the X-Files, “The filmmakers wanted to be true to reality, the government and the FBI do run Expeditions in their fleets.”

Of course, all this is small beans next to the lesbian surf cop extravaganza that is Knight Rider the TV series and that GT500KR. Or, you know, the GM commercial masquerading as the biggest blockbuster of last summer and next summer: Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen.

The full press release follows:

DEARBORN, Mich., Aug. 27, 2008 – A little more than a month after its debut, the new Batman movie, “The Dark Knight,” has already become the second highest-grossing film of all time – and an all-star opportunity for Ford Motor Company.

“The Joker’s henchmen drive black Ford Expeditions in the opening scene of the movie – which takes place in a dark parking garage – and if you think about the millions of people who will see ‘The Dark Knight,’ the level of exposure for the Ford brand is incredible,” said Brian Daly, senior vice president, JWT, Team Detroit, who is a member of Ford Global Brand Entertainment (FGBE), the Ford office in Beverly Hills that works to “cast” Ford-branded vehicles in movies, television and other entertainment media.

Think of what the 1982 film, “E.T. The Extra-Terrestrial,” did for Reese’s pieces, says Michael Bernacchi, professor of Marketing at the University of Detroit Mercy.

“When ‘E.T.’ premiered and that little creature started gobbling up candy, Reese’s Pieces got a lot of fanfare and sales went way up,” he said. “That may have begun the modern day and age of product placement.”

While no one is drawing comparisons between the integration of Ford Expeditions in “The Dark Knight” and the Reese’s Pieces in “E.T.,” the idea behind the marketing strategy remains the same.

“The reason why we do this is to benefit from what I call the ‘halo effect’ of entertainment,” said Daly. “We’re constantly looking for ways to present our vehicles in a way that’s going to enhance the image of the brand through its association with a cool media vehicle.”

For Ford’s Global Brand Entertainment team, however, successful product placement is not just about getting as many vehicles as possible into movies and television shows.

“You have to respect the brand and the messages it’s trying to convey,” said Al Uzielli, senior advisor to FGBE. “We will turn down big potential opportunities in movies and television if we feel that it is not the right fit for our vehicles because our main objective is to protect the brand.”

What constitutes “the right fit?”

Daly says it’s a matter of marrying the right brand with the right role.

“In the case of ‘The Dark Knight,’ the opening scene is kind of menacing, and producers were looking for a vehicle that would fit in well with that,” he said. “It wouldn’t have made sense for the Joker’s thugs to be driving F-150 pickup trucks in the city, for example, and the look of the Ford Edge was a little too refined. A black Expedition looks pretty tough.”

Producers also were interested in a luxury vehicle for a small cameo appearance.

“We knew that the release of ‘The Dark Knight’ was going to coincide with the launch of the new 2009 Lincoln MKS, so we gave them a sneak preview of the vehicle, and they liked it,” said Daly, adding that he had to give producers a pre-production version of the MKS because at the time of filming, the vehicle had not yet gone into full production.

FGBE also worked with the film producers on another summer movie, “The X-Files: I Want to Believe,” to find the right vehicle for the lead character of Dana Scully.

“Scully works as a doctor in a hospital that’s not necessarily where the rich go. She’s a real genuine physician who’s looking after her patients and trying to find solutions for them where there seem to be none,” he said. “She is cutting-edge but also very real, which is why we felt that the Ford Taurus made sense as a vehicle for her.”

Ford Expeditions were chosen for the FBI agents.

“The filmmakers wanted to be true to reality,” said Daly. “The government and the FBI do run Expeditions in their fleets, and the producers liked the strength that the vehicles convey.”

In addition to being able to keenly identify which cars are best suited for which characters, Uzielli says Ford’s success with product placement is largely dependent on developing strong relationships with Hollywood’s top filmmakers.

“What we try to do is become a partner with the creative people we work with,” he said. “They respect what we’re trying to do, which is to protect and promote the Ford brand, and in turn, we are attentive to their needs.”

Sometimes that means going the extra mile to help the production staff solve transportation issues and reduce costs.

For example, FGBE provided “The X-Files” movie stars David Duchovny and Gillian Anderson with Escape Hybrids to use back and forth to the set in Vancouver, Canada.

“Fox has a green initiative going, and they were trying to keep their sets as green as possible,” he said. “So we offered them the Escape Hybrids to drive behind the scenes.”

Because there was a lot of gunfire in the garage scene in “The Dark Knight,” FGBE provided producers with extra quarter panels and doors so that they could “shoot up” the car and then “re-shoot” the scene.

Ford’s Global Brand Entertainment team has established itself as a leader in the arena of product placement.

For the third straight year, Ford topped all other brands — and not just automotive – to win brandchannel.com’s 2008 “brandcameo Award for Overall Product Placement,” appearing in 30 of the 52 number one films at the U.S. box office from Jan. 1, 2007 through June 30, 2008. Ford also won the “Scene Stealer Award,” given to the brand that took the spotlight from its human co-stars, for the placement of the Ford Mustang in the 2007 hit “I am Legend.”

“When you see how Will Smith looked ripping through New York City in that Mustang, that was really hot, and it made him look really cool,” said Daly. “And being associated with Will Smith made Ford look really cool.”

10. Jeep Stroller

Though parents haven't been buying Chrysler vehicles as quickly as the company may like, they love those Jeep-branded strollers. With a reputation for toughness, the baby-moving business isn't a huge stretch for the brand. If they could get as many families into Jeep Commanders as they could into Jeep Commander Strollers the company might be in better shape. [JeepWorld]

9. Renault F1 Backgammon Set

In addition to branding special-edition cars, like the Renaultsport 197 Clio, the Renault F1 team has spread into the fast-paced world of table gaming. Made of real Formula One materials like carbon fiber, sterling silver and F1-style glass laminate, the Renault backgammon set is quite fetching. Even more impressive than the board's careful design is the set's $27,000 price.

8. Hummer Drinking Glasses

When we think about the current plight of the Hummer brand, we suddenly think we want a stiff drink. That's why we're glad HUMMER offers officially licensed drinking glasses, large enough for a few ice cubes and a few ounces of Wild Turkey. And while drinking alcohol and driving cars are two hobbies we think should be kept separate, Hummer offers them on their special branding website along with Hummer golf balls and Hummer spare-tire covers. At just $21.95, it's just the fraction of a cost of a fill-up. [Hummer Stuff]

7. Ducati Flash Drive

Why is there a Ducati Flash Drive? Because Harley doesn't think their buyers know how to use a computer. In addition to looking a lot like a Ducati bike, the flash drive achieves a 20MB read/write speed, making it the fastest consumer drive offered by SanDisk. Oh, and there's a special lanyard!

6. Mini Cooper Luggage

Automaker-branded luggage isn't unique because associating your brand with all forms of travel is an easy connection. But we have to give extra credit to Mini for their branded luggage, which is not only small but also features more than just a "Mini" emblem. The lining of the bags are in the style of a Union Jack flag, and the rolling wheels look like Mini wheels. A Cooper-esque laptop bag is also smart branding given that every other Mini owner also has a MacBook.

5. Porsche Gaming Gear

The Porsche gaming wheel is sure to capture the hearts and minds of those aspiring for a supercar when they move out of the room over their parent's garage. The shifter looks great and it's a lot closer to being auto-related than most useless Porsche-branded products.

4. Asus Lamborghini Smartphone

Any automaker can brand a phone, but props to Lamborghini for branding one killer smartphone. Quad-band GSM? Check. Tri-band WCDMA? Check. GPRS and Edge? Check. Real GPS? Check. Most Lamborghini owners won't know what any of that means, but Lamborghini has successfully positioned itself as a brand always at the extreme.

3. Bugatti Cologne

If you're willing to spend $1.3 million on a supercar, should it be that much of a stretch to spend about $2,750 on a cologne? If you can't afford a Bugatti, at the very least you can smell like one. Delivered with a special holder in a carbon fiber briefcase, the Bugatti cologne is audacious in way that only such an exclusive automaker could pull off. [YouTube]

2. Ferrari Segway

There's a risk to lending your name to a different form of transportation, but when you're Ferrari and said product is a gyroscopically controlled Ferrari Segway scooter you have a perfect gift for the Ferrari owner who can afford anything. While the Ferrari Segway doesn't go any faster and still costs $12,000, it's got that great red paint job and says to other Segway users that you're willing to go the extra mile to prove you've got money to burn.

1. NASCAR Brand Meat Snacks

If you asked the average NASCAR fan what they loved most they'd probably say "stock car racing." If you asked them the thing they loved second most was, it would probably be prepackaged meat products. Whether it's a hot dog or a burger, NASCAR meat is the ultimate non-automotive auto tie-in. And, to cap off the unparalleled achievement of finally bridging the gap between pork products and oval track racing, the marketing geniuses behind this grabbed the slogan "Taste The Excitement." It's just so...beautiful. [Taste The Excitement]

Unfortunately, being naïve young things, our idea of photoshoots didn't match up with reality when we finally got the chance to experience the real thing. Photographers are bitchy, models are dimwitted and freakish-looking and clients are fickle and ill-informed. Most of the magic in professional car photography takes place on a computer screen, retouching reflections so they're symmetrical, adding speed blur to 15mph motion shots and removing pimples and hair from model's faces. Unwittingly, in their attempt to mock, Subaru actually captures this world in a depressingly accurate fashion, especially in the derivative, poorly lit shots that result. Of course, what we failed to anticipate and what Subaru fails to acknowledge, is that real car magazines just use press shots. [Sexy Subaru]

Since it's launch on April 7th, ImSaturn has seen membership grow to a positively staggering 1,524. That's a huge number of devotees to Saturnalia — it's almost equivalent to 3% of the people who've purchased a Saturn so far this year. And why shouldn't they all be excited? Members get to be wowed with such exciting and amazing features like — press releases and groups organized by Saturn model. Who wouldn't be excited to chat and share stories with other proud owners of the now-defunct Saturn Relay minivan?

But, the online community does take steps to ensure members feel like they play an active role in the company. For instance, when ImSaturn member Rick Murphy 'posted' concerns about a delay in the delivery of his new Astra, company reps like Steve Janisse are there to squash the negative publicity reassure concerned customers by posting a quick response saying,

"So sorry for the long delays...but all of your cars have either already been shipped or will be shipped today. We'll give your retailers an update. If anyone else is looking for their Astra, please let me know."

According to the New York Times, which has breathlessly covered the exciting news, Saturn has a wild side. Apparently — bear with us, we're so excited we can hardly type — the company's planning a contest dubbed "kissmyastra." The contest not only acknowledges people in the 18-34 demographic heart the lower case, but also people who find themselves caught in embarrassing situations with their cars. The contest promises big prizes for people caught with their Astra in the most passionate of positions.

All joking aside, it appears that Saturn's greatest problem may be basic brand and product awareness among the general public, not amongst their own customers. Troy Clarke, President of GM North America described the problem to Automotive News,

"If you look at the purchase funnel, you ask, "Do we have a consideration problem on Saturn or a conversion problem?' The fact of the matter is we have a basic awareness problem."

According to the report, discussion share for diesel engines increased by 75% in the US, compared to an increase in discussion of just 16% for hybrids. As automakers are complete suckers for marketing data, hopefully they'll hear our collective moaning and bless us with even more diesel-powered sedans. [Marketing Daily via HybridCars.com]

LINCOLN'S RESURGENCE STRENGTHENED WITH NEW MARKETING ALLIANCE WITH HIP-HOP ARTIST COMMON

* Hip-hop superstar Common joins with the Lincoln brand to promote the 2008 Navigator model line.
* Partnership will feature multiple levels of advertising, marketing and promotional activities between Lincoln and Common's wide-ranging businesses and his community service program.
* The Lincoln brand, just like Common, has experienced tremendous success over the past year and the joint marketing initiatives will help reach out to new audiences for both.

LOS ANGELES, Calif., November 12, 2007—Lincoln, the resurgent American luxury brand, announced today a multifaceted marketing partnership with a rising star and Grammy Award-winning performer Common to promote the 2008 Lincoln Navigator and other brand initiatives.

"Lincoln is excited to be associated with Common because his success story is gaining momentum at the same time that ours is," said Mike Richards, general marketing manager for Lincoln. "Common has earned many accolades for his talents, yet he remains grounded and maintains a confident, unique style all his own. Lincoln shares these brand qualities and it makes us proud to have Common represent Lincoln and increase our brand appeal among consumers."

Through an exclusive partnership with Lincoln, Common will appear in national television broadcast, radio and print advertisements, primarily focused on the all-new 2008 Lincoln Navigator. The first of the ads, titled "Common," will debut nationwide November 25 during NFL Sunday Night Football on NBC, and later appear on general market and urban schedules. The commercial spotlights the people, places and experiences that shaped his life in his hometown of Chicago. It segues to his present-day life as an enterprising, multitalented individual, continuing to reach higher, yet still deeply rooted in his community. His understated confidence, authenticity, and distinctive sense of style echo the personality of the Lincoln Navigator. The print and radio ads will premiere in 2008.

Lincoln will additionally work with Common in developing other online and offline cross-promotional and marketing programs across his diversified businesses, including the licensing of songs for creative executions for television and the Web, tie-ins with Common's books and hat lines, as well as alignments with his concert tour. Common will also perform and make personal appearances on behalf of Lincoln at auto shows and dealer events, and be an integral component of the annual multiple-city Lincoln Lounge events.

Lincoln also plans to align itself with Common's nonprofit organization, the Common Ground Foundation, and will sponsor the first annual Start the Show n' Bowl fundraising event to be held February 2008 during Grammy weekend.

"I am very enthused and honored to connect with Lincoln,"said Common. "I believe that this union will be creative, fresh, and classic. Most importantly, it's a way for Lincoln and me to give back to the community and people in need."

About Lincoln
Award-winning new products are behind the resurgence of the Lincoln brand. The Lincoln MKX crossover, Lincoln MKZ sedan, and Lincoln Navigator have helped the brand achieve 13 months in a row of higher retail sales, for a total sales increase of 14-percent for the year.

The Lincoln Navigator received critical acclaim upon its redesign for 2007, winning Ward's AutoWorld "Interior of the Year" award in the premium truck segment. For the 2008 model, which is arriving in dealers now, Lincoln has improved the interior even further with the available Limited Edition model featuring two-tone leather seats finished with a black piping. Also, now coming as standard equipment on Navigator are the award-winning THX-II Certified Audio System, the class-exclusive Powerfold third row seat, power liftgate, heated and cooled front seats, and SIRIUS satellite radio.

The Lincoln MKX, the brand's first crossover and segment winner of AutoPacific's Vehicle Satisfaction Award, is designed to appeal to a new generation of luxury customers. It features a luxurious car-like ride, all-wheel drive capability, a powerful and fuel efficient engine, and it has been recognized by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety as a 'Top Safety Pick.' The Lincoln MKZ, mid-size luxury sedan segment winner of the J.D. Power Initial Quality Survey (IQS), features a powerful 263-horsepower 3.5-liter V-6 engine and is available with all-wheel-drive. The Lincoln MKZ has also been recognized as an "Interior of the Year" award winner in the premium sedan segment by Ward's AutoWorld.

The 2008 models are currently available in Lincoln dealerships nationwide. For more information on the Lincoln products, please visit www.lincoln.com.

About Common
Common rose to prominence as one of hip-hop's most poetic and respected lyricists. On July 31, 2007, he released his critically acclaimed seventh album, Finding Forever, which debuted at #1 on the Billboard 200 Album Chart and went on to earn him both CD of the year and lyricist of the year at the 2007 BET Hip Hop Awards. He made his big-screen acting debut in the 2007 action film Smokin' Aces. His sophomore effort, American Gangster with Academy Award winners Denzel Washington and Russell Crowe, opened #1 at the box office when it was released nationwide on November 2, 2007. His upcoming screen appearances will be in Wanted with Morgan Freeman and Angelina Jolie and The Night Watchman with Forest Whitaker and Keanu Reeves.

Additionally, Common launched a career as an author of children's books. The first, The Mirror and Me, teaches lessons of life, the human spirit, and human nature. His follow-up book, I Like You But I Love Me, was recently nominated for an NAACP Image Award. He also started The Common Ground Foundation, an organization dedicated to utilizing the cultural relevance of hip-hop to serve as an advocate for justice, education, to fight poverty and to increase health awareness among youth in underserved communities throughout the United States.

Please accept this exclusive invitation to be among the first to post about or to share information on two newly launched automotive Web sites — SilveradoHub.com and CobaltHub.com. These digg-like sites will serve as an area to share links about Chevy Silverado HD and Chevy Cobalt, such as blog posts and articles that your site has made available for your audience. Registration is free and easy. Help promote your Jalopnik traffic by sharing your favorite Silverado and Cobalt links, stories and events today!

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