If you think you can do better than these eight, drop the names/images into the comments as if they were your drawers.

8.) Vehicle: Nissan Homy Super Long
What It Suggests: Being well-equipped for any journey.
Use It In A Sentence: Women go crazy for a Homy Super Long man.

7.) Vehicle: Dodge Ram
What It Suggests: Forceful love making.
Use It In A Sentence: He put the tailgate down and gave me the full Ram.

6.) Vehicle: Audi TT-S
What It Suggests: Only Ze Germans could make a breast reference more efficient.
Use It In A Sentence: He was pleasantly surprised by the size of her TT-S.

5.) Vehicle: Ford Escort
What It Suggests: You're guaranteed to have a good time with an Escort, but you'll pay for it.
Use It In A Sentence: That Escort gave me crabs.

4.) Vehicle: Mazda Scrum Wagon
What It Suggests: A cleaning device used at a strip bar.
Use It In A Sentence: Cleaning out the Scrum Wagon is totally Charley work.

3.) Vehicle: Hummer
What It Suggests: To quote the poet: a handy would certainly be dandy, but if you want to know me then....
Use It In A Sentence: Arnold Schwarzenegger was a big proponent of the Hummer in the 1990s.

2.) Vehicle: Dodge Magnum
What It Suggests: It's the BIGGEST of the LX-platform vehicles.
Use It In A Sentence: I'm not sure if his Magnum will fit in my parking space.

1.) Vehicle: Ford Probe
What It Suggests: We come in peace, but we still want to know what's going on in there.
Use It In A Sentence: Spend all day with a Probe and your back will fall asleep as well.

It turns out the fault lies in the column shifter which "may become disengaged from the steering column mounting bracket and cause an incorrect transmission gearshift position display." The concern is that an unwitting officer could goose it in the wrong gear and wreak a bit of the old ultra-violence. It would have been a great excuse for the gentleman who mowed over that Crown Victoria in his Camry. "I don't know what happened officer, the display said D!"

On the other hand, somebody better warn Jake and Elwood.
[GoodCarBadCar Via Autoblog]

There's a guy here in Kansas City with three Magnums. Two of them have the elusive Superbird wing styling option.

I've never been able to track down the owner. He parks on top of the garage to preserve the awesomeness. He has the yellow one, the silver one, and then a bondo'n'primer beater he drives infrequently.

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Dodge Charger R/T

In the mid-1960s the Dodge boys had to stand aside and watch as Pontiac sold tens of thousands of GTOs. Not surprisingly, Dodge dealers were pissed. Chrysler President Lynn Townsend (the man behind the Pentastar) called Dodge's chief engineer Burt Bouwkamp into his office and demanded a solution, adding, "for God's sake don't make it a derivative of the Barracuda." Bouwkamp and his team followed the order and in 1965 presented the Charger II Show Car. If the public liked it, the thinking went, Dodge would build it. As Bouwkamp said, "It was pre-ordained that they would like it." Dodge went on to build the Charger, selling 37,344 in six months. However, added competition from the Chevy Camaro and Ford Mustang saw total sales for all of 1967 drop to less than 16,000 units. A redesign was ordered.

The resulting car was the 1968-1970 B-body, quite simply one of the baddest looking machines ever built. While the previous version had all the right go-fast stuff (including the introduction of the 426 Street Hemi) it looked frumpy. Not so for the new model, as Dodge's stylists knocked the sinister-look ball out of the park and into the next millennium, where the car continues to blow minds and take numbers. That's owed to its seductive double-diamond or "coke bottle" styling, where the body bulged out at the front and rear quarters. Think about it: how much time did you spend as a child fondling a Hot Wheels General Lee? We bet a lot.

Like all great muscle cars, the Charger didn't just look hot, it frigging flew. Power came from a variety of engines, but only two matter in today's context: the please-mod-me 440 Six Pack Magnum and the 426 Hemi with its insane compression ratio straight from the factory. We know the Hemi had the power advantage (supposedly), pulling 433.5 horses on the dyno in 1965 (the factory claimed 425). but Bill Hickman, the baddie in Bullitt, hooned the 440. Long story short, we wish we had tough decisions like this in front of us nowadays. How does this sound — if the Charger R/T makes it into the Garage, just imagine it comes stuffed with your favorite engine, as it really don't matter. And if you like, just debate it in the comments.

Let's take a closer look at the Bullitt Charger. First, the (awesome) Mustang(s) that McQueen drove were actually heavily modified cars. Here's what Max Balchowsky, the guy responsible for modifying and maintaining all the Bullitt vehicles had to say:

I was really impressed with the Mustang after I got done with it. I didn't think it'd make that much difference beefing it up. Later, we took both cars out and went playing around with them over by Griffith Park (near Los Angeles). The Dodge, which was practically stock, just left the Mustang like you wouldn't believe.

The Charger ran rings around the Mustang. We trimmed the tires down (on the Charger), we practically made them down to bicycle tires to try and handicap Hickman, and Bill just run them.

Dodge Challenger R/T

But on the other hand, you have the Challenger. For half a decade Dodge dealers had to bend over and take the fact that Ford was selling millions of Mustangs while they had no pony car whatsoever. To compound the injury, Chevy had its Camaro, Pontiac had the Firebird and even cousin Plymouth was raking in the youth market duckets with its Barracuda. Hell, even Mercury had the Cougar. All of that changed in 1970 when Chrysler, saving (maybe) the best muscle car for last, green-lighted a Dodge version of its new E-body chassis. And man oh man, was a legend ever born.

Like its big brother Charger, the Challenger was available with a raft of engine choices, but again the only two we care about are the 426 Hemi and the 440 Six Pack Magnum. Same power, too, but the smaller Challenger was lighter and more nimble. Performance, for the time, was massive, with zero-to-60 times right around six seconds and the quarter-mile happening in the mid 13s. And with decent tires, the times dropped. The Challengers looked the part, too, with their sleek snouts and bulging, slightly jacked up haunches. Designer Carl Cameron actually borrowed the design for the grill from a sketch of a '66 Charger he drew that was to be turbine-powered. We love that.

But you just can't talk about think about the Dodge Challenger without a close examination of Vanishing Point and the car meant to the film. For those who haven't seen the Barry Newman original, slap yourself. Then, bookmark this page, go rent it then watch it. Finished? Good. And now you know that for no reason other than the fact that he can do it, Kowalski jumps into his white "supercharged" Challenger and decides to drive from Denver to San Francisco solo in 15 hours. While hopped up on goofballs. Why did you climb the mountain? Because it was there.

For years the rumor mill has prolifically churned out all sorts of speculation as to what exactly Kowalski was driving. For certain it was a white Challenger with a Hurst four-speed. One camp maintained that there was in fact some sort of special, also hopped up, supercharged Mopar mill under the hood. Sadly, that's just not so. Vanishing Point featured five different Challengers (and a doomed Camaro!) in the role of Kowalski's ride (though oddly at one point Newman claimed there were nine cars). Four had 440 Magnums, while one had a 383 with a three-speed slusher.

Many people (me nearly included) consider the chase scene in Bullitt to be the greatest ever. However, where Bullitt is only an — admittedly — good movie that just happened to feature an eye-popping chase sequence, Vanishing Point is nothing but a car chase. And, paradoxically, anything but a car chase. America was near the bloody end of the Vietnam War and the young not white privileged enough to get a college deferment were being drafted and slaughtered in an essentially meaningless old man's war. At the same time the politics of the day seemed hopeless and the idealism of the 60s had crashed and burned. Vanishing Point then, was an expression of disgust, a shot across the bow of the status quo. With car as metaphor. And of course, the car chosen to vent this rage was the mighty Challenger. Kawolski's ticket to ride, man.

Maybe you're not feeling it: the hunger for freedom, the raw angst, that generations' damaged zeitgeist. One of my favorite moments from Die Hard was when Agent Johnson shouts to Agent Johnson, "YEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! Just like fucking Vietnam!" To which Agent Johnson replies, "I was in junior high, dickhead." I want to leave you with a poem by W.S. Merwin that I'm hope will shed a little light:

Losing a Language

A breath leaves the sentences and does not come back
yet the old still remember something that they could say

but they know now that such things are no longer believed
and the young have fewer words

many of the things the words were about
no longer exist

the noun for standing in mist by a haunted tree
the verb for I

the children will not repeat
the phrases their parents speak

somebody has persuaded them
that it is better to say everything differently

so that they can be admired somewhere
farther and farther away

where nothing that is here is known
we have little to say to each other

we are wrong and dark
in the eyes of the new owners

the radio is incomprehensible
the day is glass

when there is a voice at the door it is foreign
everywhere instead of a name there is a lie

nobody has seen it happening
nobody remembers

this is what the words were made
to prophesy

here are the extinct feathers
here is the rain we saw

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The Jalopnik Fantasy Garage, So Far:
RUF RT12 | 1978 Aston Martin V8 Vantage | Honda 1300 Coupe 9 | 1931 Daimler Double Six 50 Corsica Drophead Coupe | Ferrari 288 GTO | Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1 | 1970 Buick GSX 455 | First Generation BMW M Coupe | Bugatti Veyron 16.4 | Ford GT | Citroen SM | Porsche 928 | Jensen FF | DeTomaso Vallelunga | Audi Quattro S1 | Buick GNX | Nissan Skyline R34 GT-R | Honorary Fantasy Garager: The LS1 Powered Rotus | Lamborghini LM002 | Shelby Cobra Daytona Coupe | Ferrari 250 GTO | Bentley Speed Six | Talbot-Lago T150C SS Figoni et Falaschi Raindrop/Teardrop Coupe | Porsche 917 | Audi RS4 Avant || Lamborghini Miura | Mercedes-Benz 450SEL 6.9 | BMW E39 M5 | Jaguar E-type | Mercedes-Benz 300 SL

This newspaper ad for a Queens auto dealership could be the world's most obvious attempt at linking sex with buying a car. Still, considering it's an ad for the Hyundai Elantra and the Sonata — that may not be the worst idea to move some product. Hell, maybe they should try that shit out with the Dodge Magnum or anything from Mercury. Oh wait, isn't that what Jill Wagner's for? – Ray Wert

[From Friday's New York Post via copyranter]

Related:
Wagging Over Jill Wagner's Shoes: Mercury Spokesmodel's Pumps Hotter Than The Cars She's Pushing; Heating Up The Mercury: Brand Spokeswoman Jill Wagner Looking Hot And Bothered On the Small Screen In 'Blade' [internal]

Yeah, we're all a bit mind-wiped right now in the media center. Therefore we're leaving the gags and humor behind on this one — mostly because we're not creative enough at the moment to come up with anything funny and unusual about the new-for-2008 Dodge Magnum. So, you know — the press release is after the jump and the photo gallery is below. We hear Chevy's got Coney dogs — so we're gonna try to hit some of that shit up. – Ray Wert

2008 Dodge Magnum Lineup Packs Powerful Punch

* New 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 includes race-inspired, aggressive hood, functional performance hood scoop, new grille, headlamps, front fascia design and interior appointments
* Restyled 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T continues to defy comparison in the marketplace with functionality, HEMI power and fuel-saving Multi-displacement System (MDS)
* Sophisticated exterior and interior enhancements combined with bold Dodge attitude create a modern Magnum lineup for 2008

Detroit, Jan 9, 2007 - The newly restyled 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup — including SRT8, R/T, SXT and SE models — continues the boldly-styled theme of American muscle, with its unique profile, exceptional versatility, HEMI power, fuel-saving cylinder deactivation and rear-wheel-drive or all-wheel-drive performance.

Advanced technologies, flexible and functional cargo space and integrated safety and security features combine to provide a powerful, capable family vehicle with the ride and handling of a sports car.

A package unlike any other in the marketplace, the 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup is an evolution of the bold, powerful and street-smart philosophy of the Dodge brand.

2008 DODGE MAGNUM SRT8
The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 is more menacing than ever with a completely redesigned hood, grille, front fascia and functional performance hood scoop. The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 remains true to the SRT credo of "Race inspired, street legal" with 0-60 mph performance in the low 5-second range while, at the same time, maintaining all of the utility and convenience features the entire 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup has to offer.

"The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 is the ultimate package for drivers seeking complete, sports-car performance without compromising family-vehicle convenience and functionality," said Mike Accavitti, Director - Dodge Motorsports and SRT Marketing and Product Planning, Chrysler Group.

Aggressive Performance-inspired Exterior and Race-inspired Interior
A redesigned hood, front fascia and new grille highlight the extensive changes on the new 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8. A functional performance hood scoop has also been added.

The black honeycomb insert of the crosshair grille and air inlet of the front fascia increases brake cooling. The front fascia itself provides an aerodynamic benefit by reducing lift. The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 rides on 20-inch aluminum, SRT-designed wheels wearing 245/45/ZR20 (front) and 255/45/ZR20 (back) F1 Goodyear tires.

Available exterior colors for the 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 are Bright Silver Metallic, Brilliant Black Crystal Pearl Coat, Steel Blue Metallic Clear Coat and TorRed.

On the inside, the new 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 maintains its race-inspired environment. Enhancements for 2008 include agate-color accent stitching, carbon-fiber leather-trim door handles, and LED lighting in the cup holders and door-map pockets.

The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 continues to feature power-adjustable, deeply sculpted and highly bolstered sport seats with performance suede inserts in the front, an improved grip-enhancing carbon-fiber leather-trim steering wheel, and full-performance instrumentation, including a 180-mph (300-kph) speedometer, a tachometer and a temperature gauge.

"That Thing Gotta HEMI?"
Under the newly designed hood of the 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 is the 6.1-liter HEMI V-8, delivering 425 horsepower (317 kW) and 420 lb.-ft. (569 N m) of torque, contributing to a performance roster that includes a 0-60 mph time in the low 5-second range and 0-100-0 mph in under 17 seconds.

New for 2008, drivers can receive instant feedback on their personal performance numbers from a newly available ReConfigurable Display (RCD) in the cluster. Power for the SRT 6.1-liter HEMI is channeled through a five-speed automatic transmission with specially calibrated, driver-selectable Auto Stick, which offers fully automatic or manual shifting selection.

All-around SRT Driving Performance
The new 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 provides all-around driving performance with SRT-tuned dampers, tailored spring rates and suspension bushings and large-diameter anti-sway bars. For added stability and aerodynamic benefit, the ride height of the Magnum SRT8 is one-half inch lower than the Dodge Magnum R/T, SXT and SE models, while the Electronic Stability Program (ESP) has been specially tuned for the 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8's performance-handling characteristics.

Benchmark braking is a hallmark of SRT performance and design. The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 features tried and true Brembo performance calipers, finished in red. Each is equipped with four pistons, gripping 360 mm x 32 mm vented rotors up front, with 350 mm x 26 mm vented rotors in the rear. The results: 60-0 mph stopping distance of approximately 110 feet.

Street and Racing Technology
SRT creates some of the Chrysler Group's boldest, most distinctive products by single-mindedly following its core vision: Deliver benchmark performance at the lowest price, and deliver it with absolute integrity and credibility.

Every SRT vehicle showcases five key aspects: Exterior styling that resonates with the brand image; race-inspired interiors; world-class ride and handling characteristics across a dynamic range; benchmark braking; and standout powertrain.

2008 DODGE MAGNUM R/T, SXT AND SE
The 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T, SXT and SE charge into the future with a sophistication and refinement noticeable throughout its new bold front exterior design and a brighter, more upscale look and feel to the interior.

"The 2008 Dodge Magnum offers interior and exterior refinements in a boldly-styled package that delivers comfort, functionality and performance," said Tom Loveless, Director - Dodge Marketing and Global Communications. "Dodge Magnum is a one-of-a-kind family transportation vehicle that continues to defy comparison in the marketplace."

Refined Exterior Enhancements
Design changes to the 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T, SXT and SE can be seen in the signature Dodge crosshair front grille which has been lowered and stretched horizontally to create a more aggressive look. Chrome elements added to the front fascia and grille and extra detailing around the fog lamps provide additional interest and refinement to the face of the new Magnum.

The Magnum R/T features optional Xenon high intensity discharge (HID) elements in the headlamps for greater visibility while adding a sophisticated, high-tech look to the exterior.

The hood of 2008 Dodge Magnum models features expressive accent lines that run from the leading edge toward the windshield, highlighting its muscular character and hinting at the power beneath. Optional chrome-clad aluminum wheels and 245/45R20 all-season performance tires contribute to the bold, powerful image that is pure Dodge.

New exterior paint colors include Light Pebble Beige and Titanium.

More Upscale, Bright Interior
The 2008 Dodge Magnum continues to offer a no-nonsense functional interior with well-appointed upgrades including soft-touch surfaces on the arm rests and the top of the center console, a new cruise control stalk and optional LED lighting, which illuminates the cup holders and door-map pockets. Brighter, chromed highlights have been added to the interior cabin of the R/T and SXT models.

The instrument panel has been redesigned to offer a more driver-oriented layout. The clean lines and easy-to-read gauges are highlighted with chrome bezels to deliver additional interest.

Most Powerful Engine Options in its Class
The 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T is equipped with a modern 5.7-liter HEMI V-8 engine featuring MDS. MDS seamlessly alternates between four-cylinder mode when less power is needed and V-8 mode when more power is demanded, increasing fuel economy as much as 20 percent without sacrificing vehicle performance. Drivers may be informed when four-cylinder mode is active by selecting the new fuel-economy display available through the optional Electronic Vehicle Information Center (EVIC).

The 5-7-liter HEMI V-8 engine provides 340 horsepower (254 kW) @ 5000 rpm and 390 lb.-ft. of torque (525 N m) @ 4000 rpm and offers an EPA fuel economy rating of 17/25 (city/hwy)*.

Also available in the 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup is the 3.5-liter High Output V-6 engine, which provides 250 horsepower (186 kW) @ 6400 rpm and 250 lb.-ft. of torque (340 N m) @ 3800 rpm and a fuel economy rating of 19/27 (city/hwy)*.

In addition, the durable 2.7-liter V-6 engine is offered, providing 190 horsepower (142 kW) @ 6400 rpm and 190 lb.-ft. of torque (258 N m) @ 4000 rpm and a fuel economy rating of 21/28 (city/hwy)*.

* Fuel economy numbers are based on 2007 EPA figures. Due to changes in EPA requirements, 2008 numbers are not yet determined.

Rear-wheel-drive Architecture
The 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T, SXT and SE models come standard with rear-wheel-drive performance.

* Rear-wheel-drive performance offers the best vehicle balance and handling by separating the steering and acceleration duties
* Available advanced automotive technologies include an Electronic Stability Program (ESP) with Brake Assist, all-speed Traction Control System and four-wheel Anti-lock Brake System (ABS), which combine to enable the rear-wheel-drive Dodge Magnum to perform with all-season confidence

All-wheel-drive Architecture
The 2008 Dodge Magnum R/T and SXT also are available with all-wheel drive.

* An all-wheel-drive system adds a front differential and transfer case to provide the best in passenger-car four-season traction
* By driving continuously through all four wheels, the all-wheel-drive system provides excellent cornering balance under all driving conditions, and better traction in snow

SAFETY AND SECURITY
The 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8, R/T, SXT and SE all have a full range of available active and passive safety systems. In addition to the accident avoidance features including ESP and Brake Assist, all-speed traction control and ABS that help the driver maintain directional stability, enhance mobility and prevent wheel slip, the Dodge Magnum offers myriad crash protection features. Among the vehicle's safety equipment are:

* Advanced restraint systems and low-risk deployment air bags
* Crumple zones
* Energy absorbing steering column
* Interior head-impact protection
* Available front and rear side-curtain and front seat-mounted air bags

Available auto-reverse windows, power adjustable pedals, self-sealing tires and tire pressure monitor system additionally provide a total package of engineering and technological advancements designed to protect as well as perform.

ENTERTAINMENT AND COMMUNICATION TECHNOLOGY
The 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup offers the latest entertainment and communication technology available in the automotive industry while maintaining simplicity, safety, freedom and flexibility.

* UConnect Hands-free Communication System using Bluetooth technology with iPod interface for safer driving habits
* Factory installed SIRIUS Satellite Radio with streaming video option entertains without commercials
* Full-map DVD-based Navigation System using Global Positioning System (GPS) provides easy destination routing
* Rear-seat DVD Video Entertainment System (VES) conveniently located in center console storage bin to provide easy access to rear-seat passengers

MANUFACTURING
The 2008 Dodge Magnum lineup will be built at the Brampton Assembly Plant, Brampton, Ontario (Canada) along with the Dodge Charger and Chrysler 300. Production of the 2008 Dodge Magnum begins late summer of 2007 and will arrive at dealerships in the fourth quarter.

DODGE BARRAGE CONTINUES
With 1.4 million vehicles sold globally in 2006, Dodge, the Chrysler Group's best-selling brand, continues its product offensive for the 2008 model year with the new Dodge Magnum SRT8, R/T, SXT and SE models. Other Dodge brand models coming for the 2008 model year include the all-new 2008 Dodge Avenger and Dodge Viper SRT10.

Dodge is the No. 5 nameplate in the U. S. automotive market. Overall, Dodge has a 7 percent market share in the United States. In the minivan market, Dodge has a 19 percent market share; in the truck market, 16 percent; and 4 percent of the car market.

Related:
Spy Photos: 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 [internal]

Chrysler recalls thousands of '07 vehicles [Reuters]

Related:
Fire In The Sky: Chrysler Recalls Breezes, Stratuses, Cirruses; DCX Makes Emissions Settlement, Will Recall 1.5M Jeeps, Dodges [internal]

Exposed! 2008 Dodge Magnum SRT8 Refresh [Dubspeed Driven]

Related:
Dirty Harry Wished He Had This Magnum: Taking A Ride In The Dodge Magnum Police Package; Big BAY-Bay! Detroit's WJLB Snags Back Snagged Ride! [internal]

While attempting to get my full fill of the Chrysler Group's SkunkWerks team SEMA 'splosion in Auburn Hills on Friday, I had the chance to sit down (and by sit down, I mean I stood behind a camera, question-filled notepad in hand) with none other than Chrysler Group design guru Ralph Gilles. Gilles is the artistic genius behind some of the automaker's most innovative and polarizing designs of the past few years. The gangster-land Chrysler 300, the mean-looking Dodge Charger and the power wagon for the soccer dad Dodge Magnum all are considered to be the children of his wonderfully wired-for-the-masses mind. I have to give Gilles a lot of credit for taking my interrogation in stride — I'm not known for asking the world's most likely, or even relevant, questions — and this case was no different. On top of letting us know he's a reader of Jalopnik, Chrysler's non-Stuttgartian bringer of SexyBack to...

...the 'merican side of the German-American hybrid stood his ground while quickly riffing with us on the "relevancy" of American design in the face of European prettiness, the direction of the next generation of Chrysler Group trucks and SUV's, and even takes a moment to deny rumors* of alcohol use by certain product teams. Yup, it was that kind of an interview — and all YouTube'd up for your pleasure. – Ray Wert

*Even if we did start them here, they're still totally rumors.

Related:
All our SEMA coverage [internal]

So a couple of the boys from Automobile were heading out in the 2007 Dodge Magnum fitted with the for-law-enforcement-only police package yesterday at the Chrysler Proving Grounds. Recognizing an opportunity for a ride we've usually only seen after a night of binge drinking, we asked if they minded a ride-along as they played a bit of Cops n' Robbers on the ride performance track. Also, they almost let Wert play with the siren — almost. Have fun with the video, and then click the jump to read a bit more about Dodge's po-po power wagon.

Performance

The standard edition of the Dodge Magnum police package is a 3.5-liter High Output V-6 engine with 250 horsepower and 250 lb-ft. of torque. But this was a press day, so there was nothing standard on this ride — it had the 5.7L HEMI V8 with 340 horsepower when running at 5,000 rpm and 390 lb-ft of torque at 4,000 rpm. The wagon's 18" wheels handled the non-simulated road sections of the course smoothly, and handled beautifully in the turns. Although it really took a beating from the different road sections of the course — it handled them much better than the video above makes it out. Heck, even in the back seat, sans seat belt — we felt pretty darn safe.

The Back Seat's With Us, Leather

One of the interesting items we noticed while riding in the back seat — the rear bench isn't plastic, it's leather. That's got to be pretty hard to clean if you've just picked up a drunk frat-boy at a bar and he pukes up in the back seat. But, at least the floor is plastic/rubber, so that should be pretty easy to hose down.

The Sirens Make Pretty Noises

That they do. Although they did get pretty annoying after a while, we still found ourselves wanting to take it home and install it on my car — but no matter how hard we pulled, we couldn't get the independently switched white and LED red dome lamp off the top of the car. Oh well.

Help, Let Me Out!

Like a child, we needed to be let out of the back seat of the police package Magnum — but it was well worth it. We'd gladly take it off of Dodge's hands the next time they go out of town. Or just let us know when you'll be replacing the Auburn Hills fleet — we'll gladly buy it off of eBay.

Dodge in Hot Pursuit of Police Car Market with HEMI-powered 2006 Dodge Charger/Magnum [DaimlerChrysler]

Related:
Dodge Charger Police Cruiser on the Job [internal]

"That is the problem we have with it...the station in general does so much for the community. Why would you steal from us?"

That's an excellent question — but no matter how much a radio station "gives to a community" we somehow doubt it's worth more than the $68,000 this pimped-out ride was worth.

Man arrested in the WJLB DCX Magnum theft [Detroit News]

Related:
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Dodge Magnum R/T [internal]

Why you should buy this car: V-8 boeuf, solid handling, decent hauling capacity. If you're a family of four or less with at least one enthusiast driver in the mix, the Magnum should definitely be on your list of potential buys.

Why you shouldn t buy this car: A minivan, an SUV or a luxury car it isn't. For the same money there are smaller cars that get better mileage, vehicles that can carry more that get better mileage, or more luxurious cars that get better mileage. But there's no direct competitor to the Magnum. You know if you want it; if you're not sure, you probably don't.

Suitability Parameters
· Speed Merchants: Yes
· Fashion Victims: Yes
· Treehuggers: No
· Mack Daddies: Yes
· Tuner Crowd: No
· Hairdressers: Yes
· Penny Pinchers: No
· Euro Snobs: No
· Working Stiffs: Yes
· Technogeeks: No
· Poseurs: Yes
· Soccer Moms: Yes
· Nascar Dads: Yes
· Golfing Grandparents: Yes

Vitals
· Manufacturer: Dodge
· Model tested: R/T
· Model year: 2006
· Price as Tested: $34,095
· Engine type: 5.7 litre Hemi V8
· Horsepower: 345hp
· Torque: 375 ft.-lbs.
· Wheels and Tires: P225 / 60 R18 Touring
· Drive type: rear-wheel-drive
· 0 - 60: 6.1 secs
· 1/4 mile: 14.7 secs. @ 97 mph
· Top speed: 143 mph
· Fuel economy city/highway: 17/25
· NHTSA crash test rating front/side/rollover: 4/4/10%

[by Davey G. Johnson]

Related:
Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Dodge Magnum R/T, Part 1, Part 2 [Internal]

Exterior Design ****
I'm givin' it a four, mainly because I like the Charger's angry-eyebrows front end more than the wide-eyed, vaguely phallic nose of the Magnum. And of course, the 300's the best of the bunch. That said, I really dig the choptop styling of all the LX cars, and the semi-fastback five-door look makes it a MILF-wagon for sure, yet it remains butch enough for the boys.

Acceleration *****
It's got a damn Hemi. What more do you need to know?

Braking ****
Good pedal feel, modulation's predictable, I only got into the ABS once during a panic stop.

Ride ****
The ride's simultaneously firm and compliant. Detroit finally learned how to make a V-8, rear-drive wagon that avoids wallow like Tom DeLay avoids the citizens of Austin.

Handling ***
The Mag's handling belies its weight, and in some instances, the heavier rearward bias gives it a bit of an advantage over the Charger. I can't really explain this, but that's the story my ass told me, and I'm stickin' to it. That said, I'm still pissed at Chrysler's engineers for making the steering too light at highway speeds. It's the LX line's one Achilles' heel.

Gearbox ****
The five-speed in the LX cars was the first example of a decent implementation of Chrysler's AutoStick manumatic that I've ever actually enjoyed. The fact that the trans is Merc-sourced probably has something to do with it, because Chrysler itself hasn't built a decent autobox since the venerable 727 TorqueFlite.

Audio/Video ***
The optional Boston Acoustics stereo system sounded great blaring everything from the Lazy Cowgirls to James Brown to Pinhead Gunpowder once we dialed out a bit of the boominess. As a kid-carrier, the Magnum's lacking in playtoys, but as an adult driver's car, it's got all you need.

Toys ****
The Hemi's a phenomenal toy. We can (and did) play with it all day. Other than that, the nav system's the only other toylike feature. But with a motor this good and a chassis this well-sorted, who really needs anything else?

Trunk ****
The Magnum is fairly cavernous with the 60/40 rear seats folded down, and the hinged roof on the hatchback makes loading easier. One point off for having to lift items over a lip and reduced headroom for seats-down episodes of fleshy-union engagement.

Overall ****

[by Davey G. Johnson]

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Dodge Magnum R/T, Part 1, Part 3

I just saw a guy at a stoplight in a Dodge Magnum with a bad billet grille and a set of overwrought dubs. He looked as if he may earn additional income by starring in bear porn flicks: shaved head, prematurely gray, bushy handlebar mustache, etc. I glanced down at the fender tag to check the model. Just as I'd figured. Six cylinders. For what the fool spent on bling, he could ve had a Hemi. And make no mistake, for all of the so-called sports-tourer's conveniences and avant-garde styling, you want this car for the optional 5.7 litre pushrod V8.

The Magnum s essentially a study in stylish compromise no third-row seat like mom s Country Squire of yore, but decent hauling capacity is part and parcel of the package. Thoughful touches lifted from Chrysler s years of minivan experience abound, but think of the Mag more as a less-cute PT Cruiser designed to appeal to enthusiast drivers with a need to haul stuff.

And so I treated it as such, barking the tires on launches, making ill-advised maneuvers my daily-driver Durango would (literally) kill me for, and generally having a wonderful old time with all that horsepower at my command. Sometimes you just wanna needlessly lay on the accelerator to feel the Hemi burble under your right foot. Other times you simply wanna whack it and feel the torque press you back into the seat. Most of the time it s other times. The fun of that goddamn motor simply doesn t get old, ensuring that you ll never see the EPA s 17mpg city. And it s simple to get even more stupid with the economy if you dig into Chrysler s Merc-sourced five-speed AutoStick trans, stumbling along in 2nd gear just to hear the rumble out the chrome-tipped twin pipes.

For all that muscle, it s not anything close to a 440-equipped 69 Sport Suburban, however; the Magnum s refined no wallow, nav system, firm, comfortable seats, et cetera. The interior s a tad too plasticky for our tastes it s as if DCX spent all of the money on the surplus Mercedes bits and skimped on prettifying the inside. Then again, having grown up on musclecars, I'll take the cheap-interior/great-powertrain combo over the inverse, but one would think that for 35 large (as tested) both would be standard. Still, everything falls nicely to hand, and there s no back-straining to release the foot-operated e-brake. (Was the lack of a handbrake a concession to anti-hoon forces?)

One issue I ve had with both Chrysler LX cars I ve driven (the Charger R/T is the other), however, is the steering. While it works wonderfully in parking lots and is relatively easy to toss through corners, it emphatically needs more weight at speed on the highway. And given that the Magnum harkens back to the day when V8-engined full-size cars ruled the Eisenhower Interstate System, that seems like a pretty serious misstep on DCX's part. Supposedly, the SRT8 models rectify this, but I ve have yet to get any seat time in one. Still, it seems like a no-brainer, across-the-line fix to a problem that mars an entire group of vehicles. It s my one major beef with a car that I otherwise love very much and was sad to see go at the end of its tenure. (Fade in mopey Jets to Brazil track here.)

One thing that s tough to get used to in the Magnum is the weight of the car; the sprightly Hemi and the well-geared autobox get it off the line quickly and the suspension does a commendable job of getting it around corners. While the four-wheel discs are quite capable of dragging the beast s velocity down, I found myself laying into the pedal harder than I expected to stop in the required distance. Still, the pedal modulation is good and predictable, unlike some other ChryCo vehicles I ve encountered in the past.

While I didn t haul much more than a couple of overnight bags during the course of my four days with the car, I did wring it out on the Pacific Coast Highway between Santa Cruz and San Francisco, as well as in the Napa Wine Country, the former of which led to a re-enactment of Dan Neil s infamous Ford Expedition test for the Raleigh News & Observer, which it passed albeit not with flying colors. While it was relatively easy and quick to ready the cargo area for action, the cool-looking sloping rear roofline can interfere a bit with the um, festivities, and the crevice between the load floor and the folded seatback was a little tough on the back of my conscripted co-tester. Ah, the pain one endures on the quest for truth in auto journalism. If Joseph Campbell were still of this earth, he d be all up in my steez, no doubt.

Which brings me to my final point about Dodge's wagon: in an informal poll of women I know, they seemed to prefer the Magnum to the Charger. I mentioned this to Spinelli, theorizing that the Hemi appeals to their primal side, while the wagon styling appeals to their practical, maternal side. He responded, Dr Freud's Car Corner, ladies and gentleman. Maybe we ll fire that recurring feature up when Hoon of the Day leaps the dogfish. In the meantime, I leave you with the following final, vaguely inappropriate musing: The Dodge Magnum: Beefy enough for a wannabe gay porn star, practical enough to stir the loins of a thirtysomething woman. Think of it as some perverse automotive version of Miller Lite. [by Davey G. Johnson]

Related:
The Truth About the Magnum SRT8 [Internal]

Jalopnik Reviews: 2006 Dodge Magnum R/T, Part 2, Part 3 [Internal]

Chrysler suspended production of its all-wheel-drive LX cars at its Brampton, ON plant back in June, due to a low-speed vibration in the transfer case. Magna Drivetrain, the transfer case's supplier, has done some fiddling and futzing with the box, and apparently the shaking's stopped. DCX hasn't released numbers on the affected Magnum and 300 models, but the problem was obviously serious enough to shut down the AWD line for two months, which makes us think there were quite a few unhappy customers.

Chrysler resumes output of awd 300, Magnum after halt to repair vibration issue [Autoweek]

Related:
Bye. Neon Production Ends Friday [Internal]