First, let's have the anthem!

Before you go lining up your airbrush artist and gold-plating shop, you need to get a starting point. Since we're going old-school traditional here, the obvious choice would have to be the '64 Chevy Impala coupe. Now, you could find yourself a nice original '64, but have you priced them lately? You won't be able to afford that huge mural depicting La Noche Triste across the hood if you blow your entire roll on Day One, and it's simply unacceptable to get a four-door or even a Biscayne. We've got the solution, though, and a fine one at that: This 1964 Impala Two-Door (go here if the ad disappears) has a totally reasonable price tag of only $1,800. There's rust, the engine and glass are missing, but the seller has "ALL THE DOORS AND FENDERS AND HOOD and trunk WHICH ARE SRAIGHT," plus "95%" of the trim. The seller really does want to sell the car, not like those other guys who spam their basket-case Impalas on Craigslist because they "just want the world to know that they own a Impala." The drivetrain will be easy and cheap, which means you'll have plenty of time and money left to take on... everything else!

Come on, doing a '64 Impala lowrider is like building yet another big-block '69 Camaro- sure, you'll love it... but you'll just be one of a very large crowd. How about going with an for an earlier era for your classic lowrider? Something just as iconic, but that would turn heads on Whittier Boulevard in 1955 just as readily as today? We're going back into time, back to a topsy-turvy world in which you could utter "Mercury" and "cool" in the same sentence and not have everyone avoid eye contact with you. Yes, 1949, when these three '49 Mercury coupes (go here if the ad disappears) were made! The seller claims one of the three is "THE BEST ONE" (though it's unclear how that was determined) and he or she "WOULD SELL ONE OR ALL." As an added bonus, the cars are located in the Flaming Lips' hometown of Norman, Oklahoma, which means you'll be humming "One Million Billionth of a Millisecond on a Sunday Morning" every time you look at your new project! It's not clear how many cars you get for $3,950, nor is it clear whether you get any drivetrain or interior components. Take heart, though, because you can see at least two unbroken pieces of glass in the photos! Once you've made one solid '49- hey, with three cars you've got a real shot- you can get started on applying many, many coats of hand-rubbed lacquer paint, put together a rumbly flathead engine, etc.

Gawker Media polls require Javascript; if you're viewing this in an RSS reader, click through to view in your Javascript-enabled web browser.

Today, the dream is realized. Starting as an '89 Isuzu, the whole body has been shaved and smoothed, of course that's the last thing you'll notice about this machine. The bed has obviously been stretched, and is now 11-feet long to accommodate the three rear axles. Under the hood is a Chevy small block 350 V8, connected to a 700-R4 transmission. Allegedly, power then goes to all six rear wheels, which would be amazing, but we're going to remain skeptical. Either way, this truck known as "Triple Play" is certainly an attention-grabber.
[Truckin', via AutoMotto, via CarDomain]

'50 Mercs and '51 Chevys are hard to come by in Poland, so any Pole who hankers for the feeling of rolling in a chopped-and-channeled lowrider to see the '59 Battle of the Doo Wop Bands in El Monte is forced to make do with local vintage steel. However, that's a good thing, as shown here by this FSO Warszawa (which is, of course, a Polish-made GAZ M20 Pobeda). It's got hydraulics, it does burnouts, and it's (apparently) available for wedding duties. The site's all in Polish, but that won't matter. – Murilee Martin

Skacz ca Warszawa FSO LowRider [skaczacawarszawa.pl]

Related:
In Russia, Another BMW-Powered Volga, You! [internal]

Frankly, everyone needs a pre-Frontier Nissan pickup with hydraulics and a cowl-induction hood, right? Right? Hey, guys, where're you going? Come back! We haven't even ripped our shirts off yet! – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
El Nisamaro? Holy Sheep Dip! [Internal]

Don't be put off by the police tape around this late '40s-era Ford bomba-lowrider mashup — it probably won't bite. But don't get too close; you might have to face down a guard unicorn who's got a switchblade for a horn. [Thanks to Dave for the tip.] [Gallery]– Mike Spinelli

[via Knuttz]

Related:
Liz Cohen's Lowrider Trabantcamino Project [internal]

Around Jalopnik parts, our blackness is undeniably questionable. We've got a few Jews, an Italian and a Mick. Oh, and an Austin now and then, who for the sake of automotive shorthand, we'll assume is vaguely British, despite his penchant for short pants. But Cube's Impala cannot be denied in this clip, and frankly, we dare you not to nod your head. – Davey G. Johnson

Related:
He Felt Like a Gringo: Iowahawk on Lowriders [Internal]

A few months ago, while in Sacto, we saw some jackass in a G-Body Donkamino. We by far prefer this use of the final iteration of Chevrolet's majestic and all-conquering Truckcar. The only downside to the vid is that dude's not inside hitting the switches; it's one of those remote-control dealies. Still, we dig the four-wheels-off-the-ground bunnyhops. [Thanks to Guy for the tip.]

Dancing Car Video [GOYK]

Related:
More El Caminos [Internal]

Just yesterday, we were chatting to our pal Alex about the glory of bombas: late '30s taildragging Chevrolets customized by Mexicans, primarily in Southern California. The flathead on one side of town, the Stovebolt on the other; both the sound of a new world being born. Thee Iowahawk gives the story of the lowrider movement a good parse, handing short shrift to today's trends (rightly so, we might add) and focusing on the rich history of the movement. Totally worth a read.

Bajito y Suavecito [Iowahawk]

Related:
The Best Lowrider Discussion Thread Ever [Internal]