We first encountered this pair of E30-driving, all-Cajun teams- Piranha Racing and Shrimp Boots Racing- at the Laissez Les Crapheaps Roulez LeMons race in Louisiana. Naturally, they earned a double Organizer's Choice award for the way they fed everyone within several miles of the race track and for the all-out/all-night party they held in their compound of RVs and trailers:



What kind of food? How about a gigantic pot of huge, fresh-caught shrimp, boiled with mushrooms, sausage, cauliflower, corn, and potatoes, washed down with supertanker-esque quantities of Shiner Bock? The Piranha/Shrimp Boots folks claim they eat like this all the time down in Chauvin (and Houma and Dularge), so we're all considering a move down to the bayou. Who wouldn't? In the words of our hosts: Come on, now!

Now, on to the 2009 Laissez Les Crapheaps Roulez Über Gallery. Last time we did an ÜG, the Gawker Server Hamsters all bloated up like brown-and-white furry footballs and then sprayed their greasy grimy hamster guts all over the urine-scented shipping container buried in a Pittsburgh Superfund site super-high-tech data center from which these posts are served to you, so never again will you get all the galleries on one page. In our new Server Hamster-Friendly Format™ Über Gallery, we split the whole mess up into separate pages, each with four galleries; we are crossing our fingers feel very confident that the Hamsters will survive the experience. So, just click on the thumbnail of the gallery set you wish to see (keeping in mind that there's probably no relation between the thumbnail and the contents of the galleries on the page you'll jump to) and we'll see if we can have all of Gawker's hamsters running happily on their little wheels when we're done. Thanks to Nick Pon, A Strolling Player, CQ Is Experimental, and the Cajun Jihad for photographic help!

Über Gallery Part 1	Über Gallery Part 3	Über Gallery Part 2
Über Gallery Part 4	Über Gallery Part 5	Über Gallery Part 6
Über Gallery Part 7

If you still feel the need to Über it up after you're done here, you can check out the Goin' For Broken LeMons Über Gallery, the LeMons South Spring '09 Über Gallery, the Gator-O-Rama LeMons '09 Über Gallery, the Arse Freeze-A-Palooza LeMons '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons Yeehaw It's Texas '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons Detroit-ish '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons New England '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons South '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons San Francisco '08 Über Gallery, the LeMons Arse Freeze-A-Palooza '07 Über Gallery, and the LeMons San Francisco '07 Über Gallery.

Financing also comes from Silicon Valley venture capitalists Ray Lane and John Doerr of Kleiner Perkins Caufield & Byers, said The News-Star newspaper in Monroe. Louisiana businessman James Davison, who owns the former plant, told the newspaper he is also an investor.

The plant most recently was operated by Guide Corp. The company was formed in 1906 as an automotive lamp-repair company. It later became GM's Delphi Lighting unit and was spun off in 1998, a year before GM and Delphi Corp. separated.

That's right, Toyotas have now won five LeMons races, versus just four for onetime champ Mazda. Will Toyota use this fact in their advertising? They should! Also worth noting is that not one of the six teams running Datsun/Nissan Zs was able to place higher than the existing LeMons Z record of 8th place, though Low Budget Racing's 280ZX was able to tie Team CC Canada's 300ZX. In fact, no Nissan product has ever placed better than fifth at a LeMons event; maybe your Nissan could break the record!

We saw a higher percentage of cars blow up on the track (or, in three cases, before even reaching the track) than at any prior LeMons event, which meant a very uncrowded track for the survivors. We also saw the People's Curse winner flee the track for the first time, leaving us to substitute a dead BABE Rally car in its stead. Here we go, all the cars that managed to get on the track at the 2009 Laissez Les Crapheaps Roulez 24 Hours Of LeMons:

1. GT$500 Racing, Toyota Celica
Overall Winner
Best Lap: 1:33.771

2. Dirty Some Beaches, Honda Civic Station Wagon
Winner, Class Good
Best Lap: 1:36.452

3. Cali Cajuns, Saturn SL2
Winner, Class Bad
Best Lap: 1:37.067

4. Warthog Racing, BMW 325i
Best Lap: 1:37.401

5. LeMons Of Club GP, Pontiac Grand Prix SE
Winner, Class Ugly
Best Lap: 1:33.317

6. Red Rocket Ratnest Revival, Ford Taurus SHO
Best Lap: 1:31.291

7. Team Danger Ranger, Ford Ranger
Winner, Least Horrible Yank Tank Award
Best Lap: 1:38.455

8. Low Budget Racing, Datsun 280ZX
Winner, Alphabetically Challenged, Class Z
Best Lap: 1:32.732

9. Serious Business Motorsports, BMW 325e
Best Lap: 1:32.031

10. Race Hard Race Ugly, BMW 325is
Best Lap: 1:32.499

11. Team 8 Racing, Nissan 240SX
Best Lap: 1:37.729

12. Team Racecar, Nissan 240SX
Best Lap: 1:34.269

13. FUBAR Racing, Ford Escort
Best Lap: 1:36.622

14. FEMA, Toyota MR2
Best Lap: 1:38.062

15. Team Sour Puss, Acura Integra
Best Lap: 1:35.973

16. King Fu And The Fu King Racers, Toyota Paseo
Best Lap: 1:40.378

17. Weezer Racing, Ford Escort
Best Lap: 1:37.764

18. Blow Me Katrina, Nissan 300ZX
Best Lap: 1:36.583

19. Piranha Racing, BMW 325e
Co-winner, Organizer's Choice
Best Lap: 1:42.668

20. Team Sensory Assault, Mazda RX-7
Winner, Dangerous Banned Technology Award
Best Lap: 1:36.658

21. Team Shrimp Boots, BMW 325i
Co-winner, Organizer's Choice
Best Lap: 1:38.101

22. Dukes Of Hiroshima, Nissan Sentra SE-R
Best Lap: 1:38.241

23. Lost In The Dark, Mazda Miata
Best Lap: 1:35.813

24. Property Devaluation, Ford Mustang
Best Lap: 1:40.914

25. Nickels Or Nothing, Datsun 240Z
Best Lap: 1:34.153

26. Team Zip Tie, Ford Taurus SHO
Winner, Heroic Fix Award
Best Lap: 1:32.875

27. Black Widow, Mazda Miata
Best Lap: 1:30.205

28. Old Whippersnappers, Pontiac Fiero
Best Lap: 1:36.534

29. Rubber Biscuit Racing, Chevrolet Caprice
Best Lap: 1:34.945

30. The Whip-Its, Datsun 280Z
Best Lap: 1:40.667

31. TDH Bixco Bangers, Ford LTD Crown Victoria
Best Lap: 1:45.190

32. Cajun JiHad Racing, Mitsubishi Mirage
Winner, Judges' Choice Award
Best Lap: 1:40.781

33. Rebel Z, Datsun 280ZX
Best Lap: 1:38.928

34. El Toro Loco, Ford Taurus SHO
Best Lap: 1:36.878

35. 800-2B-Petty, Pontiac Grand Prix
Best Lap: 1:36.850

36. Team Blue Goose, Volkswagen GTI
Best Lap: 1:35.289

37. Race Hard Race Uglier, BMW 325is
Best Lap: 1:32.766

38. Living Waters Church of Subaru; Beauty of All Wheel Drive Tent Revival, Subaru SVX
Winner, Shoulda Brought A Car With A Big Ol' Carburetor Award
Best Lap: 1:36.707

39. Team White Lightning, Honda Civic
Best Lap: 1:38.021

40. Margarita Racing, Plymouth Neon
Best Lap: 1:38.906

41. Violent Running Gang, Mazda RX-7
Winner, I Got Screwed Award
Best Lap: 1:40.613

42. Team Peer Pressure, Mercedes-Benz 300D
Best Lap: 1:45.311

43. Poo-Parts Racing, Honda Civic
Best Lap: 1:34.449

44. TNT Racing Attempted, Volkswagen GTI
Best Lap: 1:43.361

45. Team Ghost Riders, Ford Mustang
Best Lap: 1:46.510

46. OFR, Datsun 240Z
Best Lap: 1:39.585

SF '07	Arse Freeze '07	SF '08
Detroit '08	New England '08	South '08
Texas '08	Arse Freeze '08	Texas '09
South '09	Goin' For Broken '09

That's right, it appears that the three SHOs that started the race have become one running SHO and a pair of parts cars, and they've got plenty of wrenchin' company in the pits. Yet some of the cars are holding together, and we saw an ever-shifting cast of top contenders today. When the first session ended at 6:30, the Dirty Some Beaches Honda Civic station wagon was on top. How? Well, any Civic that can keep its head gasket intact will get around the track pretty well, and the Dirty Some Beaches drivers know how to avoid the black flags; we have yet to see them in the Penalty Box. Adding drama to the standings, the #4 car (a Miata run by the same Texans who have been the People's Curse victims in both Houston races so far) started out with a 25-lap penalty and has managed to claw its way out of that hole, now closing to within just two laps of the leader. And what's the deal with that Grand Prix in the top ten? There's no telling how this will all shake out, but it should be 90 degrees and swampy in Belle Rose tomorrow, which means more thrown rods, more fried brakes, and more overall hoonage.

That's a good thing, of course, and we're eager to see how this quasi-mobile junkyard goes about disintegrating on the track in the morning (though we did have to hammer a few obvious cheaters with punitive laps). Thanks to New Orleans resident A_Strolling_Player and a few others, we had all the Mardis Gras beads, krewe medallions, and hats that we could ever imagine wanting, and the bribe haul included a giant cooler packed with the best fresh-caught steamed shrimp ever in the history of food. Tomorrow morning there will be LeMons action on the track, and tomorrow evening we'll have our first-ever experience with LeMons drag racing. After that, perhaps a trip to the French Quarter.

We'll be ready for all of it, now that we've been fortified with drive-thru daiquiris. Louisiana may well be the best place on the planet!

There's no internet access at No Problem Raceway, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow night to get updates on the race action... but I think it will be worth the wait; these clunkers are going to put on quite a show. How wretched are these heaps? Well, the demonic 4th-gen Firebird pictured above threw a rod during practice, and its team is even now searching for an engine (and I mean any engine, including stuff like 4-cylinder Nissan truck motors) to duct-tape under the hood. At least three other cars (out of 50 total) have suffered possibly catastrophic failures as well, some incurred while getting off their trailers.

Once we hit the ground, we stopped for catfish at the DOTS Diner. We'll be sweating greeting a lot of cheaters we busted old friends from the Texas and South Carolina races at No Problem Raceway in humid Belle Rose, Louisiana; to see who's here, check out LeMons Supreme Court Justice Lieberman's complete team list.

Nobody can tell us whether or not we'll have internet access- or even cellphone coverage- at No Problem, so you may or may not have live coverage as we battle thrown rods, poisonous snakes, zydeco, and zombies at the Laissez Les Crapheaps Roulez LeMons. No matter what, though, I'll find a way to get all the citrus-flavored action in front of you… sooner or later.

Let's have some musical inspiration here as we contemplate the near-intolerable levels of awesomeness that participants at the first-ever Louisiana 24 Hours Of LeMons are sure to experience. It's lunacy enough to have two of these sanity-stretching events in a two-week period, so why not go right from the Nevada high desert to the humid cane fields of the Deep South? Having met quite a few Louisiana-based teams at the Houston events, I predict that we'll have great food, great music… and utter, rod-bendin' chaos on the track. See you there!

Jalopnik Snap Judgment: Governor Jindal has said that "their intent for the trip is to make it clear to GM that Louisiana is willing to be aggressive in being GM's partner in putting people back to work in Louisiana." In other words, Louisiana government leaders are willing to supply GM with healthy financial incentives to keep the Shreveport plant open. In this case, it may help: GM spent a fair chunk of change recently to modernize the facility, so the company may decide to retool for an additional product rather than close the plant outright should smaller pickups be deemed beyond salvation. [Detroit News; Photo Credit: Ciotello.com]

From the WTF? File comes this tale from Louisiana of a babysitter who dangled children, ages two and three, in front of oncoming traffic. Apparently, 25-year-old Michelle L. Tyler, charged with the care of the two girls, held the tykes out in front of passing cars; once she realized that no motorist wants a toddler-cake on his or her windshield, she attempted to ignite the kids' clothing with a cigarette lighter. Taken into custody, she then tried to kick the windows out of the police cruiser. She had recently gone off of some unspecified medication. Next time, Michelle, might we recommend that you dangle yourself in front of traffic instead of innocent children? Fackin' feck. We've got the jibblies big-time. – Davey G. Johnson

Baby sitter accused of dangling children in front of cars [International Herald Tribune]

Related:
The Long Bus of the Law: Jail on Wheels [Internal]

Although we're never ones to argue with vehicular customizations (of any kind) — wethinks maybe the Louisiana Drift Team may be taking the whole "Bourbon Street" thing a bit far with that shifter.

Related:
For Tire-Smoking Time, Make it Dorifto Time: Drift vs. Grip; Doriftorama! NASCAR Gets Sideways at Irwindale; Hoon of the Day: Look Out Honey, 'Cause He's Using (Turbo) Technology [internal]

We remember, a few years back, talking to a guy in Austin who was originally from Louisiana, and he was going on and on about corruption amongst the officials and gangsters down in the Big Easy. Well, it seems like the connection between public and private interests hasn't ebbed in the wake of Hurricane Katrina. Four of twenty vehicles baked in a pie donated by DCX to the city after the natural disaster have been returned after an FBI investigation into their donations to two charities tied to former councilwoman Renee Gill Pratt; one of which she went to work for after her ouster. She admits no wrongdoing. Because really, that'd be a sellout in the world of N'awlins politicking, right?

Ex-councilwoman has questioned cars returned [Nola.com]

Related:
More New Orleans [Internal]

If one Sheriff R.P. Coltrane ever finally runs permanently afoul of a certain Jefferson Davis Hogg, it would behoove him to look for employment in one of the cities listed after the jump.

1. Detroit, Michigan suburbs
2. Washington, D.C.
3. Orlando, Florida
4. Colorado Springs, Colorado
5. Houston, Texas
6. Virginia Beach, Virginia
7. Austin, Texas
8. Baton Rouge, Louisiana
9. Nashville, Tennessee
10. Fresno, California

Top Ten US Speedtrap Cities [TheNewspaper via TransportTrends]

Related:
My Hoopty Rollin', Speed-Camera Evadin' [Internal]

Due the total floodination of Southern Louisiana and surrounding areas' infrastructure, many cars sat in a toxic postmordial soup for up to four weeks before they could be pulled out, naturally to be declared total losses. Progressive, stuck with 5,000 of completely irreparable hulks, decided to send 'em off to the squasher rather than sell them to junkyards or attempt to repair and resell them with salvage titles.

According to Progressive's Juan Andrade, "We don't want our people working around those cars and we don't want them back on the road." We're guessing that the real reason is more prosaic it was simply the cheapest, most expedient option, as well as the least likely to result in pesky lawsuits for the company.

Progressive sends 5,000 flooded cars to crusher [BizNewOrleans]

Related:
Louisiana Flood-Car Prohibition Bill Goes to Gov [Internal]

A bill prohibiting the sale of flooded cars in Louisiana passed in the state's House by an overwhelming 87-8 margin and is now headed to the office of Governor Kathleen Blanco for her Jane Hancock. The legislation requires that any insurance company that's totaled a car due to flood damage to get a Certificate of Destruction from the LA Office of Motor Vehicles and then have the car crushed or dismantled, rather than resold to a buyer with a salvage title. What we wonder is, is this an example of a state wanting to protect the public from unscrupulous insurance companies, or is it a case of wanting to erase the horrific events of last summer as quickly as possible?

Bill prohibiting resale of cars totaled by floods gets final OK [KATC]

Related:
Will Water-Damaged Vehicles Flood the Used Market? [Internal]